Pitch Black
by Mr. Cloak
Summary: Naruto comes into a gamebreaking inheritance. Naruto/harem because that world is f*cked up. Rated M for exceptional violence. Features Telekinesis, seeing the future, a psychotic Hinata, and a ramen waitress. Characters will act OOC initially, as dynamics shift significantly from day 1.
1. Chapter 1- Show of Power

(A/N- start)

Hey guys! Welcome to my new story, Midnight Fox. I have had an (unholy) addiction to reading the Naruto fanfictions, ever since reading the original story and finding it... Depressing.

The story that sparked this one off was actually 'Reaching for a Dream', possibly one of the best fanfictions I have ever read, and the first with a practical ascension to god-hood in the Naruto category.

The Make a Wish (Harry Potter) stories are as good quality, as is Chunin Exam Day (Naruto) and Dr. Strangelove (Evangelion) (aka How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the N2 Mine), Reaching For. A Dream (Naruto), and all these stories also inspired this one.

So... Yeah. This is a Psyren and Naruto crossover, so expect Telepathy, and insane powers.

Yes, that is including the insane Ninja powers.

That's right.

Shits gonna get real.

For this story, the difference begins when Naruto traps the forest around him before learning the shadow clone jutsu, earning a few more minutes before being caught. Mwahaha!

I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any other source material that may or may not be included in this story. I haven't published my novel yet either, and as I am a college student, I make no money off this work. Wish I could though.

Enjoy!

(Oh, and there will be bashing, because I really hate many characters in the original. Mwahahaha!)

(A/N- end)

* * *

 **Chapter 1- Show of Power**

* * *

It was a dark and stormy night in Konoha. The shopkeepers had closed down for the night, as it had been the day after graduation, and, of course, that meant that a certain blond ninja-in-training was running from the Hokage's tower with the Forbidden Scroll.

And, against what most people intended to believe, Naruto Uzimaki was fairly good at stealth- he had to be. He couldn't walk down the street without being glared at, occasionally spat on, or, even more rarely, have rocks thrown at him.

Even in a bright orange tracksuit, with bright blond hair visible, he still managed to evade the much faster and experienced ANBU, while carrying the Forbidden Scroll.

Running full-tilt, while carrying the scroll, and remaining out of sight, turned his five-mile run (from the Hokage Tower to a training field with a small-ish wooded area within the village) into a twenty minute journey.

Still, he reasoned, it was worth it.

After securing the surrounding area with a bewildering variety of traps, of both lethal and non-lethal varieties in a few scant minutes, the ninja-in-training sat down, and opened the scroll.

The first technique was, of course, the technique from a class he was worst at. The Shadow Clone Technique.

 _Well..._ he thought, _I may as well work on this one._

After about fifteen minutes or so, there were a dozen Narutos standing in the clearing, grinning as if they had just eaten the best ramen ever.

With a single hand-sign, there was only one orange-clad blond standing in the clearing. "Well, that was cool. What else can I learn..." He muttered, as he sat back down, and rolled open the scroll some more- revealing an intricate storage seal.

Now, Naruto couldn't read- no one had ever taught him, and the libraries in Konoha didn't allow him entry for any reason. However, he was not particularly stupid, and had managed to memorize some basic kanji, as well as his name.

When he saw the name Uzimaki on the scroll, above the kanji for 'Sealed', he bit his finger as he had been taught in the shinobi academy, and smeared the blood onto the 'reaction' part of the scroll. The fact this seal was the 'Uzimaki Heritage Scroll' completely escaped him.

With a puff of smoke, out popped- a smaller scroll.

"Oh..." Naruto sighed dejectedly- then he perked up. _Whatever is in this scroll was so awesome they needed to hide a scroll within the scroll of seals! Genius!_ He mentally patted himself on the back, and unrolled the smaller scroll. Again he saw his last name, and again, he smeared some blood on it, and the seals began to glow.

And got brighter, before flaring out into a thin, wire like shape tipped with a fork-like spike on the end. Made of pure chakra, it was only visible as barely-glowing outlined shape.

The spike waved around, moving like the head of a snake, before locking onto him and cracking open like a flower. From within the 'flower', a sphere of energy blossomed, as though it was inflating from the spike, then flashed out to encompass Naruto, the scroll it was originating from, the Forbidden scroll underneath that, and everything for more than ten feet around in a halo of blue power.

Naruto watched, warily, as the sphere of power engulfed him, and became somewhat cloudy- _Was that Iruka-Sensei running out from between two trees, covered in chicken feathers, glue, and slightly smoldering?_ His attention was directed to a pair of clocks that appeared in the sphere, each slightly bigger than his head.

The left one kept ticking like normal, but the other one began to slow down, and as it did, the dome became more and more red, before the clock effectively stopped, and the dome became the deep, deep red of very thick, almost dry blood. The colors became unreal, shadows being formed into odd shapes as details that he never noticed jumped out from the most unlikely places. A hail of glowing streaks sliced through the world, not illumination as much as lines of light, and just barely lit up the dark dome around him.

Then, suddenly, the air became thick with chakra, almost stifling, before a vortex opened like an iris onto an idyllic tropical island, with bright daylight visible.

Naruto had a few seconds to notice the fact there was an old man, maybe 60 or so years old but in good shape, still with a full head of hair, although the black hair was flecked with silver and strands, standing next to three women of similar age and appearance.

Two of the women could almost be twins, except one appeared to be a photonegative of the other, and the third appeared regal in bearing, despite her age. Chakra, in huge amounts, surrounded the women, and spiraled into the vortex behind him.

Then, Naruto felt something warm begin dripping from his nose. Carefully, he wiped his upper lip, and looked at it. _Blood? Why-_

Naruto collapsed onto the grass, sweating and shivering, barely conscious as the portal closed.

* * *

He came to, feeling decidedly odd. It was easier to think, and easier to do, well, everything. It was as if a huge weight had been taken off his chest.

Then Naruto realized he was laying in something wet, and jumped to his feet. "Where am I?" He yelled. "Is there anyone there?"

"Wow, that took you a while shrimp." The regal woman from his dream was standing above him, orange hair waving in an unfelt wind while her golden eyes glimmered- but her mouth never moved. "I thought your tiny brain had fried for a few seconds- too bad, really."

Naruto bristled. "Hey!"

"Don't get angry at Oh-Seven- that's just how she speaks with everyone." A male voice said behind him.

Naruto spun around and saw the photonegative twins slowly pulling some symbol off one of the walls, as a man with dark blue-black hair and dark blue eyes held a black sphere, roughly the size of a pomegranate seemed hard at work burning(?) away another symbol that was floating in the water. "Where am I? What are you doing? Where is Konoha?"

"Full of questions, isn't this shrimp?"

Naruto let out a yelp as he felt a gauntleted hand grab his ankle, and lift him into the air. He was suddenly face-to-face with... Something. It looked like a, well, an empty suit of some form of ceremonial armor.

The most distinctive part of the armor was its head- it resembled, in a way, the head of a bird-of-prey, the top of the helmet hooked and menacing, but with a large spike coming out of the back of the helmet, prompting the mind to think of a feathered ridge or crest.

Then it's face- or lack thereof, hit him. There was a nebulous glow within the helmet, and it tickled the small, reptilian part of his brain that said /what you are looking at is very, very dangerous- and you should be running and hiding/.

Naruto tried not to whimper as the thing inspected him for a moment, before grabbing the back of his orange jacket with a gauntleted hand, and righting him.

"Oh-Seven! Stop tormenting the poor child!" Scolded the dark-skinned twin. "Can't you read the writing on the wall?"

"Of course. " Oh-Seven's 'voice' reverberated with derision at being asked such a stupid question. "Mostly derivative work, based on my extrapolations of the Nemesis series of Burst commands, but universal enough for government work." Her lips quirked in a very slight smile as her eyes flicked towards Naruto. "Don't fear Nemesis-Q, shrimp. It's not intelligent, it just appears to be- like most people I would dare say. Especially the bald wig over there."

"Hey!" The man shouted. "Who are you calling 'Bald Wig'!?"

(A/N- yes, I am going to transcribe the language puns.)

"Ageha..." The pale-skin twin giggled as she violently tore the last piece of symbol off the wall.

The walls of the tunnel pulsed as if alive, and Naruto passed out.

* * *

When he came to for a second time, he realized that he was being carried through the tunnels by Nemesis Q- and the four people with him appeared to be floating alongside him.

"Um..." He said, not entirely sure how to voice his thoughts- which, all of a sudden, were more clear than they ever had been.

The floating man groaned, then slapped his forehead, and smiled. "Let's start this over again- I didn't expect you to wake up before we removed the mental blocks. My name is Ageha Uzumaki." He jest urged to the twins floating alongside him. "These are Amamiya, my wife,-" the white-eyed pale-skinned blond-haired twin waved. "-and Abyss, my wife" The dark-skinned black-eyed and blond twin giggled. "And of course, you met Grigori #07- who is also my wife."

Naruto turned to look at Oh-Seven, and she was watching the ceiling intently. "Nice to meet you all!" He said, grinning. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki- future Hokage of Konoha!"

"Hokage? Fire Shadow? What's that?" Amamiya asked.

"Only the most awesome, and most respected, ninja in the Land of Fire!" Naruto exclaimed with some enthusiasm.

Amamiya, Abyss, and Ageha cracked up laughing.

"Fire Shadow?" Ageha chuckled. "What, is there a lightning shadow? A wind shadow? Maybe a rock shadow?"

This confused Naruto. "Um... Yes?"

They stopped laughing.

"What's their purpose?" Asked Oh-Seven. She sounded unusually serious. "What do they do? Are they important?"

"The Hokage runs the Hidden Leaf Ninja Village." Naruto didn't understand why they were asking these questions. "We are the main ninja force in the Land of Fire, and each of the big countries has their own ninja Village. They command large forces of ninja."

"And these ninja are soldiers?" Abyss seemed angry, for some reason.

"Yes!" Naruto answered, somewhat defensively. "We train from the age of 6 to 12 or so, then become genin. I want to be a ninja, but if I don't learn a technique off the scroll, I won't be allowed to graduate." He looked around, and saw that the water was beginning to drip from the ceiling again.

"I guess I won't be able to become a ninja now though."

Naruto tried not to sniffle as his hopes and dreams were crushed by that realization, and missed the fact that a pipe above them, this one a glowing red, was getting bigger and bigger.

"You want to become a child soldier?" Abyss and Amamiya asked in tandem, both angered and incredulous at the mere concept.

"I can't get any other jobs..." Naruto said softly. "No-one lets me try. I can't live on the orphan allowance for more than another year, and I can barely get enough to eat as it is."

"It could be worse." Oh-Seven exclaimed, voice toneless. "You could be locked into a test tube, and tested every day for what you could do."

"... Maybe. Is being ignored by everyone better?" Naruto asked. "Only Jiji-sama, Sensei Iruka and the Ichiraku ramen people even talk to me anymore."

Ageha and the others watched as his memories flitted over the walls like splashes of color. Naruto appeared oblivious to the flashing images of happiness that he could see, but not feel. The adults were kind, but there was little they did to offset what most villagers did to him.

"What about her?" Abyss asked, a dark rope tipped with a scythe-like claw emerging from her back as she pinned an image of a girl with long blue hair, white eyes, and a little blush looking at him. "She obviously likes you kid."

"Hinata?" Naruto asked, seeing the image for the first time. "She never said more than a couple words to me at any one time- she just turns red and falls over."

A clear rope, this one almost like shimmering glass, appeared from Amamiya's palm, tipped with a tuning fork (also made of glass), and stabbed the image. "Let's see."

With a frightening suddenness, Naruto was seeing every memory he had that had Hinata in it. Every class where she looked at him and blushed, every time she tried to sit with him before another student pushed him away, the way she fiddled with the goggles around her neck that looked exactly like the ones he now wore-

Naruto, being 12, wasn't very clever when it came to understanding anyone, let alone the opposite sex, but, he began to make connections between the small acts of kindness, shyness, and timidness.

"Yeah. She likes you." Abyss smirked. "Even more than Outside did when she was pining for Ageha."

"Hey!" Amamiya snapped. "I didn't 'pine'."

"Yes you did! I was there every time, urging you to kiss him, or drag him off into a dark corner, but would you listen to me? Noooooooo!" Abyss taunted, before a glass spear shot from Amamiya's back and tried to gut her- only to be intercepted by a pair of black scythe-tipped ropes.

A black sphere, the size of a three-man tent, suddenly appeared at the intersection point between the twins, absorbing the attacks before shrinking into a grapefruit-size orb.

"Girls, no fighting within the mind of our descendent." Ageha was not very loud, but the sphere resonated to his every syllable.

The ropes of power receded into the girls skins in an eye blink.

"We're-". Naruto immediately got a headache trying to parse that last sentence.

"Where else would we be, shrimp?" Oh-Seven stated. "Incidentally, we're here."

They turned a corner, still floating, and where there was a wall, bars the size of towers were holding back something red and malevolent.

 _ **"My jailer finally shows himself."**_ A rumbling voice that reminded Naruto of a windstorm, forest fire, thunderstorm, and earthquake all together barked from behind the bars. _**"Begone! Let me sleep."**_

"Kurama, don't you remember us?" Ageha asked, looking somewhat hurt.

 ** _"NO MORTAL KNOWS THAT NAME!"_** The voice roared/ rumbled/ screamed.

Ageha's eyes narrowed, and his body began to smoke. "You forgot me?" His body began to flicker with black fire, features subsuming into darkness that spoke of the death of stars, and space beyond the world. "You forgot me?!"

"Ohshit." Abyss and Amamiya muttered simultaneously, as they dragged Nemesis Q and Oh-Seven away from the bars, where head-sized black spheres began popping into existence.

"I AM THE BLACK KING!" Ageha roared. He had become unreal, a monster of humanity that appeared half ethereal and half black fire, crowned by black spikes of hair and a swirling cloud of orbiting marbles. "I BESTED YOUR FATHER, I BESTED YOU AND ALL YOUR SIBLINGS, AND I BESTED YOUR PREDECESSOR!"

The cloud of orbiting spheres shot into the bars, followed by Ageha, whose black claw-like hands hovered over spinning disks of darkness.

"Oh-Seven, can we have a shield?" Asked Amamiya.

"It is unnecessary." She stated, peering intently into the darkness. "Remember the way he dealt with the last spat with Kurama?"

"YOU WILL REMEMBER ME, VIXEN!" A massive explosion rocked the tunnel.

"Um..." Naruto flinched hen everyone looked at him. "That's the Nine-Tailed fox." He said, as if surrounded by particularly slow people. "No-one, not even the Fourth Hokage, just 'dealt' with the fox..." Sudden realization flashed over him. "The Nine-Tailed fox is inside my mind."

He fainted again.

* * *

When he woke up again, he didn't move- mostly to let his mind digest all the insane crap that had happened within the last few hours.

Then there was the, also insane, conversation between the Nine-Tailed Fox and Ageha- or was it the Black King?

"And remember that time when you blasted Shukaku's sand into glass? His whole body except his head?" Ageha was loudly laughing, as was a new feminine voice.

"And not two weeks later, Matatabi tried to seduce you!" The female voice cracked up. "Whereupon Oh-Seven punched her a few months into the future- straight through the glass sculpture that was Shukaku's!"

"Isonade never forgave her either- one of shards put out her eye!" Sputtered Ageha, barely able to breathe because he was laughing so hard.

Naruto opened his eyes, and pushed himself off Nemesis Q- then unceremoniously had to pull himself out of the water on the floor. "Wow, I did not think that through."

The tinkling voice of the new woman snapped at him. "Well, you rarely ever think, so I wouldn't expect much better of anything you ever do."

"Don't be so hard on the kid!" Snapped Ageha. "You saw how many shape-commands we had to remove before he could even think at this speed."

"Shape commands?" Naruto wondered aloud. "Do you mean seals?"

"Sure. Why not." Abyss muttered. "Degrade the name of over a hundred years of hard work on encoding commands miss fussy-britches implanted into her burst-constructs on a neural network scale into one word."

"And then the work needed to reverse-engineer that information into a working model of how Psi works on a fundamental level." Amamiya added, scowling. "Kids these days- no respect."

The twins giggled slightly, then collapsed laughing as they saw Naruto's eyes bulge.

"No." He said, deliberately ignoring the tittering twins. "I'm not dealing with them." He turned to the Ageha, who was sitting just outside the massive bars of what he could now see as a cage, and the woman sitting within the cage- who had 9 tails.

Ageha smiled, and patted empty air. "Come, sit with us. We have quite a bit to discuss... Grandson."

* * *

From the point of view of Iruka, Mizuki, and several ANBU, the air flashed red for a moment, becoming immovable, before vanishing away as if it had never happened. Then there was a surge of terrible, bottomless power- dark and clear, which every sensor-nin in the village and for several kilometers in every direction noticed, before... Nothing. Just a flare of power, and now silence.

The ANBU sped up.

* * *

Naruto smiled- a genuine smile, not one of his 'I am not sad, see?' smiles, but a genuine smile of peace. He looked around for a moment, before reaching towards the forbidden scroll- which leapt to his hand from several feet away.

Iruka didn't move. He knew that such tricks could be done with chakra strings, but most of the people who did that were ninja from the villages of hidden sand or hidden rock. Then he saw Naruto's eyes- the whites of his eyes were completely black.

"Hello Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto chuckled. "It looks like I got made a fool of, huh?" The scroll began to orbit around his head. "I mean, a secret exam- one that's almost a mission, no less, assigned by Mizuki, and-"

"Why are there bees?!" A voice screamed out from the forest, filled with terror and pain.

"-those would be the ANBU chasing me for perceived traitorous behavior- probably also were told by Mizuki that I stole it." Naruto shook his head sadly. "And they are running into all the traps. I mean, really? They didn't think I would cover my tracks with traps every few-"

The scream of "How the hell did he get a live badger into that?" was accompanied by snarls.

"- meters." He finished, plucking a smaller scroll out of the air.

Iruka took a few cautious steps forwards, wary of the fact that there was more and more debris hovering in the air and slowly orbiting around the blond. "Naruto, are you alright?" He asked carefully.

"What?" Naruto looked at him strangely, as though not really paying attention, before he focused on the teacher. "Oh- yeah. I'm fine. Here."

He twitched a finger, and the forbidden scroll suddenly accelerated towards Iruka, stopping just shy of touching him with a BOOM of displaced air.

Iruka gently took the scroll, and inserted it into a holster on his back just as his fellow teacher, Mizuki, appeared in the clearing, splattered in pink paint, as well as having several 'kick me' signs somehow attached to his body.

There was a massive wave of pressure at that moment, as the debris gently orbiting around Naruto suddenly dropped to the ground as /something/ pushed the grass away from him in a perfect sphere, just a little larger in diameter than he was tall.

"And here is the man of the hour- who is either a traitor to Konoha, or some sort of special agent of Jiji-sama's." The ground around Naruto compacted, just enough to throw up a small miasma of dust, even though his voice was conversational. "And I really doubt he could be a special agent of Jiji's- I mean, a mission to steal the Forbidden Scroll (that's with a capital F and S by the way) given to a child? Really?"

"Wow, you sure are dense kid." Mizuki said, as he made two hand-signs, and spit straight into the air, sending a torrent of water crashing up, then over himself, cleaning off the pink paint. "I was just going to take the scroll, kill you, and leave- but now you had to voice the fact that I might be a traitor to a chunin." He glanced sidelong at Iruka, who glared at him. "Even if it's Iruka, I mean really- this was going to be the easiest heist ever, and you are just standing there, talking to the dead body."

Iruka pulled out a few throwing stars, but Mizuki pulled the large windmill shuriken- a weapon that amounted to four large sword-blades connected around a ring, and, spinning the larger weapon, deflected all the thrown stars.

"And now he wants to take me down!" Mizuki laughed, before smirking at his fellow teacher. "Really Iruka? You could never beat me in a fight as a child, and now? You are in even worse shape than before!" He blurred in a Body Flicker, and brought his windmill shuriken down where Iruka had been-

But Naruto was now holding the man's jacket, having somehow moved the teacher so fast that Mizuki didn't even see the movement.

"Sorry about that Sensei." Naruto apologized, as Iruka began retching. "Jumping like that is always disorienting the first few times."

"No academy student could move that fast." Mizuki muttered, before laughing aloud, his eyes gleaming. "Well, you are the Kyubi brat!"

"No!" Iruka coughed, trying to get himself under control after whatever it was that Naruto just did. "The third's law-"

"I don't care for the third Hokage! I don't follow his orders, and I never will!" Mizuki snapped. "Naruto- have you ever wondered why-"

"- the civilians hated me, and most of the ninjas as well?" Naruto cocked his head slightly. "Yes, I know, I contain the Kyubi. We had a nice, long chat a few minutes ago, you know- rather nice for a continent-destroying superbeing." He said in a conversational tone. "Once you get past all the **_'_** _ **I'm going to crush you and all you love'**_ stuff." He smiled at Iruka, in a just-somehow relaxing manner. "Don't worry- the fox is going to stay right where she is for the time being."

He turned back to Mizuki, who had the shuriken cocked to throw. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sensei." He smiled. "After all, I learned a technique from the Forbidden Scroll..."

"Damned fox!" Mizuki spat. "You... You are wearing a human face, telling us you are safely tucked away like... Like a kunai in a scroll! Everyone knows a baby can't contain the Kyubi!"

"Everyone?" Naruto grinned widely, the concussive sphere contracting slightly. "I have not met 'everyone' yet, but most people, well... A person can be smart- but people are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals." He flexed his fingers, and... Nothing visible happened. "Still, I feel like we have been talking too much tonight."

"Fucking fox- die!" Mizuki threw the windmill shuriken straight at Naruto, who vanished.

And appeared right behind Mizuki,

Then the wave hit the chunin. The thunderclap was like a solid wall running straight into him, his brain and body unable to keep up with whatever just happened to him as many of the more... Solid structures in his body cracked, his chakra unable to withstand the titanic impact of effectively standing in the shockwave of a boy-sized Mach 4 projectile.

Naruto breathed out, ratcheting his Psi balance from being primarily 'Rise' (85% Rise, 10% Burst, 5% Trance) to his standard equilibrium (64% Burst, 31% Rise, 5% Trance), and rubbing feeling back into his fingers. Then, he gently lifted Mizuki's broken, but still living (judging by the fact he was trying to scream and failing), body in a gentle grip of Burst-Psi, and turned to Iruka. "Sensei?"

The chunin looked like his ghasts were well and truly flabbered. "Naruto... What just happened?"

"I should probably wait to answer that question until the ANBU have escorted us to Jiji-sama." Naruto formed a cros-shaped hand-seal, and several shadow clones popped into existence. They shouldered the chunin, and all six Naruto looked at the woods- where a masked ANBU stumbled out of the treeline, covered in eggs and with a badger glued to his crotch via it's teeth.

Iruka looked a little concerned at the badger's placement. "Doesn't that hurt, ANBU-san?"

"Beyond imagining." Squeaked out the professional ninja. "But if I know badgers, then tying to pry it off should wait until a professional looks at me."

Every Naruto rubbed the back of their heads, looking sheepish. "Sorry ANBU-san. I wanted to secure the clearing." He was trying valiantly not to laugh at the sound of a usually macho ninja who was apparently breathing helium.

The other ANBU came out of the woods, some walking gingerly, others obvious glaring at Naruto, even behind their masks. All of them covered in something that would usually be embarrassing. Still, these were professionals, so most of them shot off a quick water technique to clean themselves.

The squad of ninja, all of them save the badger-crotch man having washed away the traces of Naruto's traps, took Mizuki from the shadow clones, who dispelled themselves immediately.

"Captain!" Badger-crotch squeaked. "Permission to disengage and report to the hospital!"

"Granted." The ANBU with a Bear mask stated.

Everyone watched as Badger-Crotch left the clearing- then laughed as a scream was heard as the poor ninja triggered another trap, having been unwilling to test a high-speed ninja technique while sharp teeth were locked onto his crotch.

Bear-mask looked at Naruto, who grinned sheepishly. "Naruto, can you please disarm us a path?"

Naruto, also known as the Prankster King of Konoha, reached towards a tree trunk, and pulled a wire that was nestled in a fold in the bark. There was a twanging sound, and the forest erupted with noise as various animals were released, paint splattered, and feathers were released from buckets.

It was at this point that Naruto's nose began to bleed, and he fell over. "Oh crap..." He said, as he fell. Then, slightly muffled (because he had fallen face-first into a log), he said "I think I may have overdone it..."

The ANBU had to carry him back.

* * *

The staff at the hospital were fairly concerned when they managed to get the badger off- it had been chewing.

* * *

End Chapter 1

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter of Midnight Fox (Renamed to Pitch Black). It is an idea that popped into my head a while ago, and I was surprised no-one did something similar (a Psyren/Naruto crossover).

I have a story plan from his first 'mission' (this chapter') all the way through the chunin exams, and I am open to suggestions on how to get him there.

Before you ask, yes, there will be Sasuke/Kakashi/Others bashing, mostly because of the way that they were portrayed in cannon. The cannon people DESERVE bashing from my perspective, and some people deserve happy-ish endings. These people are ninja, remember? You will get a glimpse in what goes on behind the scenes here.

They will get them, even if I have write several hundred thousand words to break that pathetic world that calls itself the 'Elemental Nations'.


	2. Chapter 2- Flashback!

(A/N- start)

I don't like the villagers of Konoha. I cannot express this enough without using several paragraphs of swearwords, in at least three languages.

Oh, and here are the suffixes for those who don't know them (I may be wrong on any one of these):

-sama :: 'master', a respectful suffix that denotes someone is of more importance or higher ranking. Gender neutral.

-san :: 'sir', a respectful suffix used for people one is not friends with or to retain a form of professionalism. Gender neutral.

-kun :: (no English equivalent), a more affectionate suffix that refers to a male. Gender- Male.

-chan :: (no English equivalent), the female version of -kun. Gender- female.

A word that is often used as a suffix, but isn't really (don't ask me about this one one, I have enough trouble with English)

teme :: 'you' (rude), denoting unpleasant connotations and a lack of respect. Gender neutral(?).

And some words!

'Baka' :: 'Idiot', can be used as a honorific.

'Sensei' :: 'Teacher', can be used as a honorific.

'Bijudama' :: Lit:'Tailed Beast Bomb', think of a magical nuke.

'Jutsu' :: 'Technque', can also be read as 'Spell'.

'Jiji' :: 'Grandfather', usually affectionate.

'ANBU' :: No Direct Translation, refers to a special-forces ninja.

'Biju' :: 'Tailed beast', a sort of immortal, exceptionally powerful demonic creature.

'Seals' :: similar to runes in a magical setting, chakra-driven circuitry.

'Dobe' :: 'Dumbass', can be used as a honorific.

'Kunochi' :: 'female ninja'

More words will be added as I need or run across them.

I also don't own anything in this story yet. If I did, Naruto would be more of a badass. Probably.

(A/N- end)

* * *

 **Chapter 2- Flashback!**

* * *

Naruto woke up in a chair- not for the first time, he reflected, as every few months someone would steal some of his furniture. Usually his bed, or fridge, since the only other things he had were a table and a chair. If either were intact, he would usually sleep on one of those.

A distinctive tapping noise brought his attention out of his memories, and Naruto looked up.

The Third Hokage, Hiruzen Saratobi, sat in his chair, wearing the volumous white robes of his station, complete with mostly-red umbrella-hat. His hat had one quarter of it colored white, with the symbol for 'fire' drawn in red, facing forward- and oh, how Naruto had wanted that hat once. But now...

Naruto focused at the face of his Jiji, noticing that his face was drawn in slight bemusement, and he was currently tapping his pipe out on the table. Carefully, the old man refilled it, and flicked a tiny spark into the bowl, lighting it with his fire-chakra. After a second, he took a deep pull, blew out the smoke, and spoke.

"Why did you steal the Forbidden Scroll Naruto?" He wasn't angry, just... Curious. "And where is Wolf?"

"Ah..." The ANBU captain sounded embarrassed. "He is in the hospital- one of the traps that Naruto secured the clearing with... Inconvenienced him terribly."

"Inconvenienced how?" The Hokage took a deep inhale of his pipe.

The captain's voice was perfectly deadpan. "A badger attacked his crotch."

There was a choking noise, and smoke began to spiral out from the Hokage's tear ducts. He calmly put down the pipe, and exhaled. "Alright. Now, Naruto, your answer to my question?"

"Mizuki-Sensei told me to steal it, learn a technique, and then I could become a ninja." Naruto stated succinctly. Then he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, grinning, with his eyes almost shut. "I'm surprised it took as long as it did for the ANBU to find me after Mizuki told them I stole the scroll."

The Hokage's jaw dropped, but as the expert ninja that he was, he recovered almost instantly. "That seems more... Coherent than you usually are-"

"Relative to when I blabbed about my desire to take your job, old man, once every 5 seconds or so?" Naruto asked, interrupting the ranking ninja like he always did- or, used to anyway. "Yeah... It feels like a lifetime ago."

"While you were asleep, Iruka told us about how you dealt with Mizuki." The Hokage tapped a single finger on a sheet in front of him, where Naruto could see characters of neatly written symbols- which he still didn't know how to read, damn villagers- but probably was the transcript of anything said, considering how the words appeared as the Hokage spoke. "How did you learn that speed technique?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "I-... It's not a speed technique."

"Oh?" Saratobi leaned forward slightly. "What is it then, and where did you learn it?"

Naruto warily looked around the room, and sighed. "I would rather that what I learned and how I learned it not be spread throughout the village."

The old man took off his hat. "I understand, but-"

"And, Jiji-sama, I am not talking about the fox."

That made the Hokage stop talking. "What other source of information could you have?" He persisted, snuffing out the pipe.

Naruto took the smallest scroll out of his pocket, and tossed it to the Hokage.

He caught it with a fingertip, and calmly read the inscription. "ANBU, Iruka, leave us."

"But-" the captain began, before he was cut off.

"I said leave." The Hokage's voice never changed in pitch, but no-one argued with him if he insisted.

The ANBU bowed, masked faces looking around the room once before pulling Iruka out the door.

"Now-"

The Hokage was interrupted by Naruto again as he pointed at one of the filling cabinets. "Him too."

The cabinet exploded into smoke, and several knives shot towards the boy- only to stop dead in the air less than ten centimeters from his head.

The Hokage had been about to catch the kunai, but as they stopped moving he used them as a springboard, pulling himself towards the unknown ninja at blurring speeds, driving one of his own kunai into the plain-masked ninja's neck.

The unknown ninja gurgled once, twitched a few times, and slumped against the wall.

The Hokage, breathing slightly hard, opened the door, and tossed the masked ninja to his ANBU. "Find everything about this man that you can." Then closed the door.

"Jiji-sama, do you have some unkeyed sealing ink and paper?" Naruto asked, looking around the room. "I think your office may be bugged."

Saratobi sat down and picked up his pipe again. "Why?"

"Remember when I was 8?" The Hokage nodded. "And then three days later the apartment you were going to let me live in rent-freeburned down (and the apartment I was living in at the time) before I could move into it (or out)?" He nodded again, this time slower. "And both you and I were the only ones who knew where I was moving?" Another slow nod. "Then why was the entire building burned to the ground, and why was I the only person hurt when the place I was living in before that burned as well?"

The Hokage blinked, before wordlessly handing him an ink pot sealed with wax, a scroll, and a sealing brush.

Naruto took the scroll, unrolled it on the floor, and used the knife-like handle of the sealing brush to crack open the inkwell. With the ease of practice, he sliced a finger, and let the blood drip into the ink. Stirring a few times as the cut on his hand healed, he began to mutter. "Power syphon center, capacitance structures heading out, transmit chakra through sound to override any capacitance structure that has an audio receiver..." He began drawing, in delicate strokes, the intricate designs of a seal in parts. First a circle, then spiraling out to a larger circle, where upon he altered the brush to provide thinner lines and a series of broken ramps around the main spiral. With a flourish, he drew a symbol that appeared to be a series of increasing-length lines, all chested by a sloping curve- it resembled some sort of wave, one maybe made by a sea of grass. "A simple bug-killer."

Then he put down the pot of ink, blew on the ink to dry it, and before the Hokage could say anything, slammed his hand into the center of the design.

There was a screeching thump, and dozens of places around the room began to leak smoke.

* * *

Across the village, every single being that was listening to something through one of the chakra bugs screamed briefly as their eardrum ruptured, and the bug either evaporated outright or the ink burned away.

A lot of people were going to be pissed.

* * *

Naruto stood up, and the design evaporated from the scroll. "So, Gramps, what do you want to know?"

The Hokage looked slightly grim. "Everything."

The boy sighed, and grinned ruefully. "Right, so there I was, having run from the ANBU-"

* * *

A few minutes of description passed, before he got to the good part for all us readers: I.E., where the first chapter left off.

* * *

Ageha smiled, and patted empty air. "Come, sit with us. We have quite a bit to discuss... Grandson."

Naruto looked between him, and the seated woman with the nine, distinctly foxy tails. Then he slammed his head against the red bars.

They dented.

"Why is the Kyubi, the greatest of the tailed demons, residing in a cage?" He said. Then- "It was supposed to be dead."

"I'm not in a cage, per say..." The woman said carefully, before her tails bristled, and she burst into red-black flames. Her voice took on an unholy cast as she shouted /|"THEY DARE ASSUME I AM DEAD? I WILL DESTROY ALL THEY EVER KNEW AND LOVED FOR DARING TO ASSUME SUCH THINGS!"/|

Ageha flicked a finger, and suddenly there were three black spheres slowly orbiting the Kyubi. She froze. "Calm down Kuri." He turned back to Naruto, who was also watching the black spheres with caution. "So, Grandson- well, I guess it would be Great * 40 or so Grandson, but still- do you have any questions?"

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed, overjoyed to have someone willing to answer any questions at all- the academy instructors never did. "Where are we? Why is the Kyubi in a giant cage? What is that-" he pointed at the orbiting spheres, "- and can you teach me to do it?"

Ageha grinned. "In order then: this is your mind, or, I should say, the mental representation of your psi-network as seen by you in the depths of a trance. Someone sealed Kuri into you- probably when you were a baby- that explains why you can see the most powerful of the biju in here with us. And these-" several marble-sized spheres orbited around a raised finger, "- are the doors of Melchsee. Also known as the Moons of a Tyrant King by that damn albino- he made really long-winded names for everything." The spheres winked out. "And yes, I can teach you- some of it at least."

"I will be the most awesome Hokage ever!" Naruto cheered, jumping into the air from a sitting position in his exuberance.

"No you won't, shrimp." Oh-Seven drifted forwards, Nemesis-Q walking behind her. "You are the last of our children- or one of them, and you need to take care of yourself."

"I need to become Hokage!" Naruto blurted. "If I can become Hokage, I will be strong, and respected, and..." His voice trailed off as he felt two pairs of arms wrap around him- one pale, the other dark.

"You are thinking again." The twins chorused softly, hugging him. "Keep thinking- you can do so now, and you should keep doing so."

"We removed several psi-programs..." Oh-Seven trailed off for a second as she saw Naruto begin to break down in the arms of her sister-wives.

"Why did they..." The mindscape around the beings began to fill with water as Naruto began to go over all his memories again, this time with the capacity to understand what the village had done to him.

Suddenly the water vanished, and ice began to grow spikes on every surface.

"They will all pay!" Naruto's voice was quiet, but it was colder than the air in his mindscape. To the observers, the whites of his eyes were turning black, and dark spheres began to materialize around him, buzzing like angry bees- only to be absorbed by a single larger sphere, created by Ageha.

The black King stood over him, crowned by orbiting spheres of destruction. "Not yet, grandson." The darkness that surrounded him flaked away, revealing Ageha's smiling face. "You need to learn a lot of things- and, thankfully, we have the time to teach you."

Gently, the twins picked up Naruto, still shivering in rage, and altogether, the group walked into the seal.

* * *

They gave him time. Time to heal his mind- to some degree, at least, and heal his will. What was a fraction of a second outside the time-dilation bubble, was several weeks within, and almost six years inside his mind.

Naruto was reset, in a way. Within the seal, he could be a little child- complete with numerous, loving parents, a pet fox, and all the affection he could stand.

He refused to elaborate on exactly what they did to provide him the aforementioned affection, which displeased the Hokage, but continued with the story.

He learned a great deal in that time- how to read, how sealing logic worked (much simpler than he thought, but significant nuances), and, of course, about Psi.

Psi was in Chakra the same way that the Sun was gas- technically true, but only if you don't understand a lot about what you were talking about. Chakra was explained as the mental and physical energies of the person, controlled by a mix of their will, and hand signs that shaped the expelled energy.

Psi, on the other hand, was more akin to the pure expression of will upon the universe- although, Oh-Seven was of the opinion that the source that Psi drew from was the 'chakra' core as well.

Chakra had several aspects of it's form. These specifically being: Yin (mental energy), Yang (physical energy, of which an elemental property that could be added to or developed for future utility, and density). It also seemed to have a genetic component, as some families had 'bloodline limits'- special skills that only they could use. The 'all seeing' white eyes of the Hyuuga clan and the affinity for insects of the Aburame hive-clan were two obvious examples, and inevitably led to some specialization in their fighting styles.

A chakra technique was shaped by the user's intention, their hand-seals, and if their chakra could form the right elemental mix to get the desired effect.

Psi was made of three classes- Rise, Burst, and Trance. Technically, the energy used for all three was the same, but each type interacted with the user differently.

Rise was the default for most people, as it enhanced the body in many ways, allowing for things such as increased physical resilience, increased strength/speed/endurance, and rapid healing. Rise was the default, as everyone used it if they had the capability, and it was often the first thing anyone who used Psi used on purpose.

Burst was, as the name suggested, the application of 'bursting' the controlled Psi out of one's body to create a physical effect. Telekinesis, pyrokinesis, electrokineses- all the acts of using one's mind to control objects or energies came through burst. The Black Spheres Ageha utilized were a sort of super-dense burst effect, capable of consuming other powers, raw chakra, energy, and physical matter.

Trance, on the other hand, was the sort-of opposite of burst. It was Psi forced out of the body, but it couldn't and didn't interact with anything other than active quantum fluxes (a concept which, even after developing his lexicon of usable words, Naruto still didn't really understand). He understood it when Oh-Seven said that Trance enforced your will on the will of another, allowing them to see what you wanted them to see, or look inside their mind.

Nemesis-Q was a mix of Trance and Burst- an insane amount of both, shaped into a cohesive being with significant amounts of power as well as (and this is the important part) the ability to decide whether or not to use it and how to use it.

Naruto simplified this as "Burst is power, Trance is control, and Rise is body"- a simplification that got everyone to face-palm, but was good enough.

From what the four could piece together, the seal-language that Oh-Seven had developed to refine Nemesis-Q from the first prototype and utilized to great effect in this world was also the basis of the handsigns, as the leaked Psi would form the intermixed symbols needed to force various effects, such as fire-manipulation or telepathic illusions. The effect of this was odd- while people with very low levels of Psi could cause effects with the hand seals, they burned more than three-quarters of their power on reproducing the seals in a nonstatic medium, ad the last quarter would then be used on the effect.

Psi leveraged it's different aspects against each other for different effects- visible telekinesis required more power than most people had to leverage, but a psycher would separate their power into an equal level of burst and trance, allowing them to exert their will upon their own burst effect, which would then grasp and move the world around them. Adding an element was just setting the scale in terms of more burst or trance, depending on which way it wanted to naturally slide. Trance-based illusions required a little burst power to provide a framework for where the energy needed to go, and rise- rise let people move in superhuman ways, but a bit of burst or trance was often used to shield against the effects of impact or speed up one's thought processes to increase mental clock-time.

A miasma of mostly-unkeyed Psi waves could unlock other's propensity for Psi- but Uzumaki had a tendency to unlock their abilities on their own, and could, therefore, unlock the abilities of others more easily. Oh-Seven cautioned against doing this too much, only unlocking those who he was truely willing to trust, so that they would not get bitten in the ass by a pissed-off psycher in the future.

That brought the subject back to helping Naruto learn. He was, before the time dilation, many things. Naive, willing to trust anyone, willing to do almost anything for the approval of anyone, unwilling to show pain or fear, and of course, not very knowlegible on how things really worked.

The four set out to rectify that.

They spent more time teaching Naruto things he was already supposed to know (lots of language, behavior, psychology, etc- the stuff children usually learn if they are not kicked out of social engagements or classes with their fellow students) than new things, but he was ravenous for any knowledge at all- and a good student if someone cared to teach him.

The story of the four? Well... Naruto refrained from telling the story, but he remembered it all too well.

* * *

"You want to know where we came from?" Ageha reiterated as Naruto, looking about six years old by this point and carrying a fox kit with nine tails, looked up at him with large, soul-filled eyes. The older man grinned. "Well, when two people love each other very much-"

"Oh that. I know about that." Naruto waved a hand dismissively. "I meant to ask where your homeland was."

"I think I can answer that better than Bald Wig here." Oh-Seven floated in, her clothes 'stained' by the grass outside, where she had been napping. "We are not of this world."

"Like aliens?" Ageha and Naurto chorused, both sitting cross-legged, and staring attentively.

Oh-Seven glared at them, the edges of her mouth slightly twitching upwards. "Not quite, but true. We are alien to this time stream- mainly due to a mixture of my powers, Ageha's, and a psi-enhanced supeweapon." Without even moving a finger, a picture appeared behind her of three people- Ageha, Oh-Seven (and Nemesis-Q, but it doesn't really count), and the pale twin Amamiya, fighting off hordes of robots.

Ageha and Oh-Seven tried to contain the weapon, but it went off anyway, filling the room with light, which abruptly vanished as the three of them began floating- or falling, rapidly, towards the ground from a great height.

"Our arrival was not very glorious." Oh-Seven deadpanned as she showed the landing, and subsequent rain of mechanical parts. "After our wounds healed, and we managed to eat some of the local wildlife-" an image of Ageha trying to beat a large bear to death appeared, "- we began to explore this world."

An image of a hazy plant appeared- and, looking at the bottom of the picture, Naruto saw roots larger then mountains. It was kind of obvious of the scale since the roots had snow on them, and clouds passed around the massive example of plantlife.

"We had arrived in what would be later called the Land of Whirlpools, but with an impressive specimen of megaflora-" she saw Naruto raise his hand, "-that means 'very, very large plant'." He lowered his hand. "We had to see it up close."The image flickered and became a great number of intersecting lines.

"Due to my own prowess with Nemesis-Q's ability to travel in time, I was able to determine that, wherever we were, the timeline had a different... Feel, I guess?" Oh-Seven looked frustrated for a fraction of a second, but it passed in a flicker. "Like how grass feels different from stone underfoot. Anyway, I knew we were not in our old home, and our exploring took us to see many interesting things."

Images flashed before them- along with captions. Towns, odd stone structures, people wielding weapons, a sedan chair with a three-eyed, horned rabbit goddess, her two horned sons- Hamura of the White Eyes and Hagoromo of the Ringed Glance.

"We were fairly surprised when, out of the blue, the giant plant became a giant, raving monster."

The giant plant collapsed into itself, becoming a humanlike being with one, massive red eye, and ten tails- four coming off its shoulders, and the remaining six coming off the back of where its 'pelvis' was. Upon it's back was a shell-like protrusion with multiple spikes growing and retreating into the protrusion. Its mouth stretched more than half the length of it's body, and was full of huge, spike-like fangs. It inhaled, once, and then roared, blasting a mountain out of its path.

"We engaged it, thinking it was some natural occurrence, and fully intending to destroy it."

The twins had joined Naruto and Ageha on the floor, the dark one hugging Naruto while the pale one grabbed Ageha in a death-grip. The fight was brutal. Ageha, as the Black King, shredded the Ten-Tailed monster, punching holes big enough for entire cities in it's wood-like hide. Every time the monster launched a ball of glowing power, Oh-Seven either swatted it straight up with her sheer telekinesis, encased it in Trance and fired it back, or used Nemesis-Q to /blink/ the ball so that it slammed into the beast's own eye. Amamiya unsheathed a sword, burst into steam, and emerged as the twins. She, as Abyss, stabbed dozens of pitch-black scythe-ropes into the creature's mighty hide to briefly restrain it as Amamiya used her mastery of Trance and Rise to hit the creature so hard it appeared to distort before it was tossed across the country, other times slicing through entire tails with her burning sword.

"We were winning- before the damned brats intervned." Oh-Seven said coldly as the twins shook slightly in remembered pain.

Two men appeared- Hamura of the White Eyes and Hagoromo of the Ringed Glance. Hagoromo, his ringed purple eyes glaring, smashed a black staff into Amamiya's sword, shattering it as his brother blasted Abyss away.

The twins in the picture collapsed, their bodies smoking, twitching and glitching as they screamed, enthralled in the psychic backlash.

Ageha, consumed by his power as the Black King, shrieked his rage, and swiped a hand in the general direction of the two interlopers. Nemesis-Q blinked by both Amamiya and Abyss, pulling them about of the way as a hailstorm of black orbs appeared.

For a tiny fraction of a second, the orbs blotted out the sun, before slamming into the two men- then blasting away as purple-eyes thrust out his hands.

The Black King paused for a moment, before snarling and raising a hand. The orbs froze in midair, and began to spin violently. With the suddenness of a lightning bolt, black lances blasted out, attacking the men and the ten-tails with the wrath of gods.

The beast was rent to shreds, it's eye being the largest remaining part as both men moved with unnatural grace to avoid the spikes of darkness- but they could only avoid so many.

One brother lost an arm, the other a leg- but that was the extent of their injuries.

The Ten-Tailed beast attacked all three men, having regenerated already, but the Black King negligently retaliated with arm of black spheres, shredding the beast again as he focused on the two pale men.

The white-eyed one blurred, flicking blazing projectiles of white fire at him as the purple-eyed one thrust both hands forward- and a wave of acceleration blasted away at Ageha, slinging him through the air as the burning projectiles followed- until he slammed through a mountain, and which was brought down upon him by the blazing swarm.

Both men turned away from the mountain, certain that the threat was dealt with until Oh-Seven appeared in front of them- light bending around her as she brought the full force of her telekinetic powers upon them. Space twisted, time bent, and, far above them, the moon shattered into millions of pieces.

Hundreds of them accelerated to relativistic speeds, shooting towards the planet as Oh-Seven twisted them through bent tubes in reality into lances of liquid rock.

The purple-eyed brother barely had time to put up some sort of pressure shield before the lances hit him, driving him deeper and deeper into the ground as every lance of liquid rock impacted with greater and greater speeds- until Oh-Seven moved a hand.

The land for miles around dropped, as if it was dough that someone had just hit with a continent-sized sledgehammer. Lava erupted from several dozen places as crevices opened, while aquifers burst.

The ten-tails had been caught in the blast, and tried to pull itself together from the dozens of kilometers long and wide pancake. After a few tries, it just lay there and watched the fight.

Oh-Seven exhausted her current crop of lances, and floated there, in midair panting- until the brother materialized in front of her, the line in the middle of both their foreheads each opening to reveal a third eye- this one was red, with concentric rings and multiple toemoe spinning around the pupil. Her eyes glazed over, and she fell to the ground- only just being caught by Nemesis-Q, who flashed away.

Unconcerned, the brothers approached the still-crippled ten-tailed beast. Purple-eyes stretched out his hands while White-eyes shot lances of light at various spots along the flattened monster, paralyzing it as it slid towards Purple-eyes, who sucked it into some sort of tiny hole in his torso.

It was at this point, that the mountain the brother had collapsed onto Ageha, exploded. A black beam of power lances towards the sky as the Black King rose again, and blasted towards the brothers, his power shattering mountains that go too close.

Oh-Seven paused the video at this point, to the groans of all assembled. "Abyss and Amamiya were split apart when the sword /Bones of the Evil Soul/ was shattered, and I was locked into an illusion for a few minutes- but Ageha nearly killed both brothers before they tried to explain why they attacked us." She frowned. "Apparently they were under the impression that that creature could not be killed, and needed to be 'sealed' away- a feat only they were convinced they could do."

The picture changed to images of a fortress being constructed on an island, surrounded by whirlpools.

"After expressing our... Disagreement on how the beast should have been dealt with, and our personal view on where they should stick the carcass, we set up a base in the Land of Whirlpools, on the edge of the crater of my Compression-Blast." Picture after picture showed the fortress becoming a village, then town, and finally, a city. "We were called the 'Whirlpool Guardians', and we eventually realized we couldn't escape this dimension... So we settled down."

More pictures, this time of children, and a horde of large, multi-tailed beasts.

"We met the Biju after Hagoromo broke up the Ten-Tailed creature, and that was where we met Kuri." Oh-Seven smiled mor visibly as she watched Naruto pet the fox demon, who purred in his lap. "We eventually lived to be several hundred years old, but, to continue helping our children, we sealed away our powers and minds in a way that only one of our descendants, with the potential to unlock their own Psi, could open the scrolls and speak with us."

"Scrolls?" Naruto looked confused. "Are there more than one of you?"

Amamiya laughed. "No- the scrolls just send a signal for Nemesis-Q to dispatch from that scroll and connect to our network. We are only four- no more, no less."

* * *

Naruto coached what he said to the Hokage very carefully. They were ninja, after all- some secrets were worth more than anyone could pay.

That, and there was the fact that a lot of things that happened over the course of his life hadn't made much sense to anyone when he brought it up, so it was better to be safe than sorry.

* * *

"-and after they retreated out of my mind, the tendril of Nemesis-Q activated my current abilities." Naruto was finishing up his story. "I was able to use my Rise control to move past Mizuki at a fairly high speed, and then the ANBU caught up... And they brought me to you."

The Hokage took a few drags of his pipe, and made his decision. "I appreciate you trusting me with this, Naruto. Can you unlock everyone's psi abilities?"

Naruto shook his head. "No. I can do it for some girls, I think, but I need to be more powerful to unlock others." This was a barefaced lie, but he had gotten very good at that.

"Why?" Mild curiosity now.

"I don't really understand it myself." The boy said. "But I was told it had to do with 'unique quantum variables' and 'interpersonal personality counciousness constructs'- whatever that means."

The Hokage sighed. "Very well." He pulled a leaf headband out of a drawer. "Congratulations on passing the graduation exam- the real one." He winked. "Now, I need to talk with the ANBU and Iruka. See you later, Naruto."

After the boy had left the tower, Saratobi sighed as he looked at the squirming ANBU team and the chunin teacher Iruka. "You are a disgrace. He was broken- just the way a jinchuuriki is supposed to be! He was desperate for any sort of affection! Now? He might leave the village if..." The Hokage shook his head. Some things were best not mentioning out loud. "Iruka- contact Kakashi. Tell him the Team-7 plan is now in effect."

The chunin nodded and burst into smoke.

The ANBU team quivered under his gaze. "Now, as for you..." He puffed his pipe thoughtfully, then tossed them the Uzimaki scroll. "Congratulations on receiving this S-rank mission! Destroy the scroll- ideally using one of the volcanos in the land of Stone."

The team members raised their fists over their hearts in salute, before dissipating in a flash of leaves into their suicide mission.

Behind his desk, the Hokage began to plot- he needed the demon vessel back under his control, but the question of the hour was 'how'.

How to break Naruto's spirit?

The crumpled and bent kunai on the floor indicated that such an endeavor might be more difficult than it had been.

* * *

Naruto felt the scroll in his pocket- and was very, very glad it looked like the standard sealing scrolls that people often threw away after use.

* * *

End chapter 2

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Yes, Saratobi is an asshole- most people there are as such. And yes, there are plots and plots and more plots in this hidden village- and not just the plot I wrote here. Seriously- read between the lines in the manga. There is a lot going on in their tiny world that only makes sense if a lot of people are in on what happens to the kid.

There are nice people- but from Naruto's perspective, they will be relatively rare.

So... Yeah. Please review- it really helps.


	3. Chapter 3- the morning after (sort of)

(A/N- start)

Now, before anyone says I made Naruto too powerful, remember that Psi outclasses chakra if they are taught how to use it.

Naruto spent the equivalent of several years learning how to use it thanks to the scroll, but he is still a child.

It's a power that has not been seen for years, and people have, in general, no real understanding of it. It uses no hand seals, and does not flow along the chakra pathways like Jutsu- except the ones on the head, and they are enlarged in the psi users.

So, yeah... Enjoy the beat-down!

I don't own Naruto, or Psyren. I wish I owned both, but I don't.

Seriously, this was a plot bunny that outgrew the cage I put it in.

(A/N- end)

* * *

 _"Almighty type? What does that even mean?" Naruto asking questions about Ageha's old life in the seal during time-dilation._

* * *

 **Chapter 3- The Morning After (Sortof)**

* * *

 _One week later..._

* * *

One of the more recognizable structures in Konoha, besides the Hokage's tower and Hokage Mountain (A/N- think Mount Rushmore but with ninja faces), was the Mail Office- and it was directly across from the shinobi academy.

Mail ninja ran the office, and were the only truly neutral ninja organization within the elemental nations- they needed to be. They needed to be able to deliver any mail, any where, at higher speeds than caravans or normal couriers could ever travel.

Everything about them was optimized for speed, stealth, and endurance- and with their massive scrolls, they could seal away items for freshness and lightness. Their headbands were the only identifiable uniform of the mail ninja, depicting a stylized scroll- and no organization would touch them.

They worked for every village, and enforced strict rules on all items of mail: no bombs, no traps, no declarations of war, and NO HARMING THE MAIL NINJA.

In return for paying the high price, and having whatever you intended to send closely examined for trickery, the mail ninja could carry whatever you wanted to anywhere in the elemental nations within less than a day- and bring a reply back with them, for an extra fee.

They were also the only group of ninja with summoning contracts that were all flying creatures- the Hawk contract, the Sparrow contract, the Duck contract, the Gull contract, and the Albatross contract.

And they advertised.

Above the door that entered into the lobby of the Mail Office was a plaque, which read as such:

 _Neither Rain nor Snow nor Jutsu or Bijudama shall stay these messengers about their duty!_

Below was a smaller plaque, this one newer, which said (with room for expansion):

 _Current Contracts: Gull, Albatross, Duck, Hawk, Sparrow_

And, on a handwritten tablet below that:

 _Do not ask us about the Nin-Tailed Fox, all sorts of dogs, giant bees, green things with teeth, or the Rabbit Goddess._

Naruto looked down, and chuckled slightly as he saw the smaller note that had been stapled to the door.

 _We reserve the right to refuse to carry packages to or from anyone. This means you Tsume Inuzuka! Stop asking!_

The dog-using clan in the village had a feud with the the mail ninjas- and it really showed some days. But there was no real animosity between any one village and the Mail Ninjas mainly because, well, if the mail ninja was in your village, it was only ever a ninja from your village that you saw. They were safe, and only small villages tried to steal from them- and after the Village Hidden in the Bamboo was burned to the ground after a failed heist, no-one would test them.

People needed their mail delivered.

They were safe- not untouchable by the law, but almost functioning as a clan outside all the villages simultaneously.

They were Naruto's backup plan- as a mail ninja, he would be relatively safe, well paid, and have free time to find any loved ones he could.

What more could a person want out of life?

* * *

"- Team Seven is Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha, with Jonin-Sensei Kakashi Hatake." Iruka finished, looking slightly confused. "Um... He may be a while. Team Eight is-"

Naruto, who had been watching Hinata out of the corner of his eye, sighed, then pulled out some sealing paper, and began to write on it, ignoring everything but the general noise level of the class.

Sakura, the pink-haired banshee of the class, was arguing loudly with the other screamer, Ino Yakama, about something inconsequential. Sasuke was, as usual, barely making any noise, as his fan girls went at it, but managed to mope on his own in the middle of a classroom.

Hinata took up most of his attention now, as his writing was finished. He had noticed the small gestures of nervousness, the tiny expression of exultation as she saw him walk in with her goggles on his head and the 'headband' around his neck like a necklace. He may be twelve years old, but thanks to the years spent in the seal, he was a surprisingly observant twelve-year-old.

He smiled at Hinata, who made a cute little 'Eep!' noise, turned red, and passed out- that gave him the opening to slide the small scroll into the hollow between her neck and headband. He could feel her emotions thanks to the Trance cloud he was exuding, and he could feel that, if her Psi was unlocked, she would be a powerhouse.

Hopefully the note he had slipped her would help.

Gingerly, Naruto had moved her so that she wouldn't slip off the chair if jostled- and immediately knew he was doing the right thing as a boy who smelled like he hadn't had a bath in several days grabbed him roughly by the shoulder.

Naruto responded by accelerating into the pull, spinning around on his left heel while bringing his right arm in to bypass the boy's guard. His right hand blurred in, down, then up, two fingers on one side of the boys' windpipe while his thumb applied pressure to the other side.

Kiba Inuzuka, his classmate, froze as he felt Naruto squeeze slightly around his developing Adam's apple.

Naruto gave his usual excessively-cheery smile when he faced Kiba, and when he spoke, it was also cheery... But the topic was anything but. "Kiba! Hello! Now, I have humors you for most of the year, and, to be honest, I really wasn't much better at gauging how my own rash actions would impact those around me." His voice was almost a cheery consperistorial in it's harmonics. "But with Hinata, well... You know she is special."

Kiba nodded slightly, unable to do much else as the blond's hand felt like a steel trap around his main breathing tube.

"Yeah... And, of course, I know you are on the same team as her..." Naruto clicked his tongue once. "Shame. She deserves better people than those like you around her. Don't you agree?"

Kiba tried to growl his defiance, but felt his feet leave the floor as the pressure became almost unbearable.

"What was that, dog-boy?" Naruto hummed. "I didn't catch it."

* * *

Akumaru was a tan-brown dog, roughly half the size of Kiba's head at the moment due to his age, but even so was loyal to his master and pack-mate. Moreso than that, he was a ninja hound, bred to be viscous and autonomous to a significant degree.

So when the intimidation ploy failed, Akumaru took in the situation. The target had immobilized Kiba with a throat-grip: something the Inuzuka were intimately familiar with as a method of establishing dominance in the pack. However, within the clan, the procedure of dealing with that sort of dominance ploy was to defend their preferred pack-mate...

And Akumaru didn't like Naruto at all- he smelled of foxes.

* * *

Naruto's left hand blurred and caught the small dog around it's neck. It whimpered when it looked straight into his eyes. "Down boy."

Akumaru slumped, unwilling to risk himself or his parter against a being that he could now feel outclassed him.

Naruto placed the dog on the floor, where it lay, unmoving, and returned his attention to Kiba. He was no long smiling, and Kiba was desperately trying to alleviate the pressure on his neck.

Naruto sighed in exasperation. These people had the memory and attention span of a goldfish. "Nod if you want your feet to touch the floor."

Kiba nodded as frantically as he could given the circumstances, tears streaming from his tear ducts as he tried to breath, and cascading over the tattooed red fangs that ran down the length of his cheeks.

Naruto let him down just enough for his toes to support most of his weight. "Now, mutt, if you know what's good for you, you will treat Hinata with the utmost kindness. Savvy?"

Kiba nodded again, and Naruto released him.

"Good talk!" Naruto grinned widely as he patted Kiba's head, then Akumaru's, before pulling out a small scroll from within the depths of his orange jumpsuit.

Sitting at the desk beside Hinata, Naruto stated to write quietly as everyone in the class, including Iruka and one of the newly-arrived Jonin-senseis stopped what they had been doing to watch as Naruto- the prankster ninja of Konoha, the one student who managed to pass a stealth course while wearing a neon orange jumpsuit, the kid for whom people set their clocks to cries of 'I'm going to be the Hokage- Believe it!'- sat quietly and wrote in a scroll.

Ino Yakama, a thin girl with her long, blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, walked up and looked over Naruto's shoulder. Then she started laughing. "The dead-last can't even write properly!"

Naruto grit his teeth. He could write- very well, in fact- just... Not in the Kanji that Konoha used. They never taught him how to read or write, and the language that Grandmother Amamiya taught him was the precursor-language to the one commonly used now.

Sakura came over, and sneered at the scroll, then at Ino. "Paying attention to the idiot? And I thought you had some semblance of taste Ino-pig."

(A/N- and before anyone gets on my case about this, remember how cruel you were as a child before you criticize this. Most children are remarkably cruel little buggers.)

Naruto only barely resisted the temptation to bang his head against the desk when the two kunochi genin began bickering again- it would have potentially damaged the scroll.

* * *

Over the next half hour, every team was collected by their Sensei and took somewhere else- with the exception of Team 7.

They were still waiting after another half hour. They were the only people left in the room, and his teammates were, to be frank boring.

It was at this point, that Naruto's patience had run out. Taking his sealing brush, Naruto went over to the closed door, and began drawing symbol after symbol- all with the intent of freezing whoever walked through the door into immobility.

It took him ten minutes, but there were no interruptions- mainly because his 'teammates' hadn't done anything of interest. No, really- Sakura had just stared dreamily at Sasuke (randomly asking him out), who in turn brooded and ignored her.

Naruto made a strangling gesture at both of them, and sighed, returning to his scroll.

It was a very complex idea he had had in the seal- what keeps seals on people, and is there a way to discriminate between helpful and harmful ones?

Oh-Seven had looked at him strangely when he asked the question, but explained that she didn't know- and neither did the twins, who had spent a century on the study of how seals worked.

The scroll he had been writing was his first attempt to make a detection scroll- it would send a chakra (or psi, depending on how you wanted to think about it) pulse through the person who touched the hand-mark at the bottom, and hopefully, display anything that reflected the pulse.

Discrimination would come later, when he had a more up-to-date understanding.

Placing his hand on the drawn mark, he sent out a small surge of chakra- and the seal burst into flame.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!" Naruto dashed to the sink in the back corner of the room, holding the burning scroll, and dropped it in, quickly filling the basin with water.

Neither of the other people in the room paid him any attention.

* * *

Another hour and a half passed.

The only thing that happened in the intervening timeframe that Sasuke had tried to leave the room and go to the bathroom, and the seal had caught him on the way back. Naruto, having painted a release control on the frame, poked it with a finger as he passed, grabbing an eraser and placing it in the crack between the door and its frame.

* * *

By the time 4 pm rolled around, it had been almost 3 hours. Naruto, bored out of his wits, was practicing manipulating objects with his telekinesis.

He had managed to get three pencils orbiting in the air around his head (without crushing them- delicate manipulation was harder than massive efforts) before the door opened, and he inadvertently crushed them into spheres a fraction of their former size.

A medium-tall man with spiky white-grey hair poked his head into the room- only to be frozen by the seal on the floor, and have the eraser drop onto his head, coating the man in a white dusting of chalk.

His one visible eye glared as he tried to move, and he probably would have been speaking through the cloth mask that covered the bottom half of his face if he hadn't been completely immobilized.

Unfortunately, he was also off-balance slightly, and ever-so-slowly fell over, looking more like a statue than anything else.

Sakura immediately started apologizing, while Sasuke just 'hrumph'-ed. Naruto, his eye twitching and being fully aware that they knew how to release the binding, having seen him do it once, walked over to the door, and poked the release section again.

There was a groan, and the man who was probably their instructor flipped them all the bird. His voice was fairly muffled when he spoke- possibly because he was still lying on his face. "My first impression is... I hate you all. Meet me on the roof as fast as you can-"

Naruto was already gone, having cranked his Rise levels as high as he could safely control (while he shaped a Burst shell that negated the shockwave around himself- he didn't want to destroy the building) before rushing past the older ninja, heading up the stairs, and breaking open the lock on the door to the roof.

Their instructor arrived after a few seconds in a swirl of leaves- a Leaf-style Body Flicker, if Naruto had to guess, and looked at him oddly.

Naruto just grinned.

His other teammates took another minute or so, Sasuke still brooding and ignoring Sakura, who was continually chattering away at him.

"So..." Mercifully, Sakura stopped chattering when the man spoke. "Tell me about yourselves."

Naruto blinked. "What do you want to know?"

The man's eye almost closed. "Your name, likes, dislikes, dreams for the future- that sort of thing."

"Umm, can you go first Sensei?" Sakura asked uncertainly. "After all, you know our names."

The man put his hands in his pockets. "Fine. My name is Kakashi Hatake. I have no desire to tell you my likes or dislikes... Dreams for the future... I have them. And I have lots of hobbies."

Naruto noticed an orange book in his pocket, and with a slight nudge of telekinesis he forced it up and out of his pocket just enough to fall onto the roof that they were all standing on.

Everyone could feel the awkwardness as they saw the title of the book: Icha Icha Paradise, and the naked woman on the front page.

"I also like to read." Kakashi deadpanned. He picked up the book, then pointed with it at Sakura. "Your turn pinky."

She scowled at the nickname, but began her introduction anyway. "My name is Sakura Haruno. I like..." She looked at Sasuke, and giggled for a few seconds before returning to reality. "I hate Ino-Pig and Naurto-baka! And my dream is..." She broke off giggling again, staring at the brooding genin.

Naruto slid slowly away from the two- he really didn't want to get involved if she snapped and raped the Uchiha.

Kakashi either didn't care or didn't want to really comment on her behavior. "Right, you next!" He pointed at the brooding genin.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I don't like anything and I dislike almost everything. My ambition is to kill a certain man and rebuild my clan."

Naruto grabbed his nose in an attempt to stop from laughing- if anything the bastard's voice only got more depressed-sounding.

"And finally, you!" Kakashi whirled and pointed the book at Naruto, who had to restrict himself from laughing even harder.

"Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! I like training ground 44 (there is lots of interesting stuff in there), Ramen, Hinata, Ramen, Seals, Hinata, Ramen, and training!" Naruto kept his 'cheerful schoolchild' face up for all of this- it unnerved people if they didn't expect it. "I don't like a bunch of stuff, but I try not to be too blunt about it." He coughed a few times, forcing down the words 'screaming banshees', 'stupid and ignorant villagers' and 'emo assholes'. Everyone heard him, but everything was in the presentation. "My dreams... Are for sleeping." He became deadly serious for a moment. "Except the ones where the giant fox tries to eat my soul." Then he cheered up again. "Anything else, Sensei?"

The startled faces that greeted that snippet of information were absolutely priceless.

Kuri, the Nine-Tailed Fox, was watching within the seal, and laughing so hard she fell over.

Kakashi raised his forehead protector (headband), which was usually placed over one eye, revealing the red iris and three tomoe of a Sharingan- presumably to dispel an illusion, or do something else.

Naruto didn't really know, nor did he care, as his ambient Trance level would let him see what was really there- a feat that is a lot harder than seeing what isn't really there. Everyone can do that.

After a moment, where the red eye's three tomoe spun lazily, Kakashi replaced the headband. "Right... Meet me tomorrow morning, at 6 am, outside training ground number 7." His eye looked like it was smiling at them. "We will have your real Genin Test."

Naruto was slightly disturbed by the eye- how the hell was it smiling?

"And don't eat breakfast- you'll puke." Kakashi seemed way too happy for what he was saying.

"But Sensei-" Sakura protested, "- we already graduated from our Genin exam."

"Oh- that only weeds out the hopeless causes." Kakashi was getting off on this, Naruto would swear it. "The real Genin Exam is administered by us Jounin-Senseis, and it has a 66% failure rate!"

Sakura looked like she was beginning to panic at hearing this. Sasuke looked slightly... Constipated? Or was it determined? Hard to tell with him.

Naruto's brows just furrowed.

"See you tomorrow!" Kakashi called out cheerfully, and vanished in a swirl of leaves.

* * *

After everyone else had left the roof, Naruto reached in with that unique bit of his mind that had adapted to talking within the seal.

Inside the seal, endless forests stretched towards a horizon the curved up, while a permanent sun shone above the scattered landscape. In the hazy distance he could see mountains poking up, every one slightly different, and on one side, the tube that led out to the rest of his chakra network.

Before it had been a tunnel with water along the bottom. Now it was a sinkhole, a titanic black maw in the earth with an ocean falling into it on one side while lava from several fissures in the earth fell in on the other.

He was standing on a somewhat barren hill at the moment- the only hill really, as the other structures were forest, mountains, plains, the ocean over there, and a desert.

When Oh-Seven and Abyss helped him shape this place, they had picked a barren hill as the entrance point for two main reasons. First, it was obvious, and second, the spiraling, semi-organic structure that was the Seal on his stomach in the real world was massive here, and they could try decoding it- well, he could try decoding it if it was easier-to-hand. What they had decided didn't make sense, as it looked like a mix of a contract, a dimensional pocket generator, various types of power siphons, and a very convoluted biological engine- but, according to Kuri, a being she called The Shigami (with a capital The) had appeared, created this seal, and cut off four and a half tails worth of chakra before sealing her in here.

A rumble made itself heard through Naruto's sandaled feet, and he heard the distant laughter of Kuri.

He smiled and jumped, flexing his telekinesis to pull himself into the air in a single jump, sailing high over the veritable sea of massive trees in which the Nine-Tailed fox prowled, hunting the giant beasts she so enjoyed to track and subdue.

Right now, however, she was in a clearing, rolling on her side as tails large enough to decimate towns slammed into the ground repeatedly.

Descending quickly, Naruto directed himself to land in an area of the clearing less-likely to be crushed but the massive fox, and used his telekinetic burst to displace the energy of his landing into the ground, cratering it like a falling star.

Kuri, the dreaded Kyuubi no Yoko, the Nine-Tailed fox of which the villagers of Konoha all feared, stopped her laughing as she felt his impact nearby, and turned to face him, massive furry muzzle grinning in mirth.

 **"Well done kit!"** She laughed. **"Their faces were priceless!"**

Naruto jumped again, this time onto the top of her head right as she righted herself. "So... Any ideas on how to deal with this last test?"

 **"Binjudama the other participants?"** Kuri tried to ask it innocently, but her grin was audible.

"Tempting..." Naruto mused as he rubbed the sweet spot on her head. It was right between her ears, and she could not resist purring if he rubbed it. "I don't think nuking the others is what Kakashi has in mind."

 **"One thing is for sure- that warning about not eating breakfast is stupid."** Kuri crossed her front legs and placed her head on them. **"He is an adult ninja, and you have seen firsthand how sadistic they can be."** One of her tails negligently sliced a tree in half. **"And even with your Psi, you will need your energy."**

"Think he'll show up late?"

Kuri snorted and blasted a trench in the ground. **"Probably."**

* * *

6 AM the next day.

Naruto had been at the training ground for fifteen minutes, and was currently napping. He had set some shadow clones to guard in various trees around the clearing that was the official entrance to the training ground, and knew one of them would wake him up if anyone arrived.

Sasuke showed up next- one clone popped to alert him. Then Sakura showed up, and another clone popped.

Naruto went back to sleep, dutifully ignoring the banshee and emo.

 _Two hours later..._

Naruto awoke with a start- one of his outer perimeter shadow clones had just dispelled. Kakashi was almost here. He got up, brushed off his orange jumpsuit, and counted down.

3

2

1

0

"Yo!" Kakashi appeared in a body flicker, a swirl of leaves announcing his presence. "Good morning."

Naruto raised a hand. "'Sup."

"YOU'RE LATE!" Shouted Sakura, her face a rictus of indignant rage.

Kakashi raised his one visible eyebrow, and pulled off his backpack. Then, with care, he took out an alarm clock, and set it.

"Right." Kakashi dusted off his hands as he eye-smiled at the group. "It's set for noon." He reached into a pocket, and held up two bells. "Here are two bells. Your task is to take these from me before the time's up."

Naruto experimentally flicked one with his telekinesis. It jingled in Kakashi's hand, and the jounin looked around before returning back to his speech.

"... Those who don't have a bell by noon, don't get lunch." He used the hand not holding the bells to gesture in the general direction of three stumps. "I'll not only tie you to one of those stumps, but I'll eat your lunch in front of you."

Two rumbling stomachs greeted this news, and both Sakura and Sasuke glared at Naruto.

He shrugged. "Not the first time I've gone hungry."

They stopped glaring.

"You only have to get one bell... And since there are only two, one of you will definitely be tied to the stump." Kakashi seemed be really enjoying this. "And, of course, the person who doesn't take a bell fails- so at least one of you will be sent back to the academy." He flipped the bells into his clenched hand. "If you want, you can use shuriken and kunai. You won't succeed unless you come at me with intent to kill."

"But you'll be in danger!" Exclaimed Sakura. "What if we hurt you?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Meh." He blurred, and appeared right behind Naruto in a puff of smoke, holding a kunai to the back of his neck. "I doubt any of you will be able to hurt me."

* * *

In the aftermath of the replacement jutsu between his guarding shadow clone and himself, Naruto made himself comfortable in the tree, made another shadow clone, and dispersed it to provide his guarding clones new orders.

Shadow clones were like a cheat for life.

* * *

Kakashi grinned as he pushed Naruto away, and tied the bells to his belt. "Ready... Start!"

The Genin blurred as the test commenced.

After the moment of speed, Kakashi looked around for the child soldiers. "The most important thing for a ninja is to be able to hide themselves... And most of you have done very well."

Naruto was standing behind him though. "Jingle, jingle. Can I have the bells?"

Kakashi sweat-dropped. "I don't... What?"

"Jingle-jingle. I am asking nicely, Sensei. Jingle-jingle, can I have the bells?"

"Um... No." The jounin was becoming nonplussed. "Naruto, why are you saying 'jingle'?"

"Oh, jingle-jingle. No reason. Jingle jingle."

Kakashi dragged a hand over his face. "Right. Since no-one is going to try anything... Shinobi Fighting lesson number 1- Taijustu." He took out his little orange porn novel, blurred, and kicked the blond, who vanished in a puff of smoke.

His eye widened.

"A shadow clone-?"

"Jingle-jingle."

Kakashi whirled around, and saw Naruto standing behind him, completely unharmed.

"Right, jingle-jingle." Naruto dropped into some form of fighting stance. "I'll play. Lesson (jingle-jingle) one- Rise." The ground cratered under his feet as the blond _moved._

Kakashi saw the high-speed movement, then saw a cloud of chakra-smoke, and finally felt the impact. The jounin was tossed like a toy, tumbling through the air and landing in the river. He surfaced quickly, attacking the nearest blond he could see- who blurred, and hit him again.

He was being hit so hard the shadow clones were dispelling on impact.

This time, the jounin was ready, and preformed a replacement jutsu with a log, which exploded. His new position in the forest didn't show more than one orange-wearing blond, but he also was fairly certain that was a shadow clone. Carefully, as not to disturb any branches and make noise, Kakashi pushed up his forehead protector- and nearly shit himself when he heard a voice right behind him speak.

"Jingle-jingle!"

Kakashi shot around, his book coming down in a high-speed chop, and reeled away as his Sharingan blazed with agony. From his perspective, he had just stared straight at the sun through a telescope. He forced his eye closed as his hands flashed into a series of handseals.

Naruto felt the chakra try to get into his brain, but fail at the eye due to his Trance. He smiled, and let out a scream.

Kakashi turned around, convinced that the blond had been dealt with, before another impact slammed into his legs, pinwheeling him into the air for a few seconds. Then he popped into smoke as a log spiraled away.

Kakashi had replaced himself again- but this time he now knew where Sakura was. He went through some slightly-different handseals, and saw her turn around, turn pale, scream, and fall over as she succumbed to his illusion.

* * *

Naruto looked at the two bells in his hand as he sat on the topmost branch of the tree. He had pulled them off the jounin when he was coming out of the river, using his telekinesis, and now his clones were just dicking with the man.

Did he really think Naruto was just saying 'jingle' for the hell of it?

* * *

Kakashi brushed off his hands, covered his Sharingan eye, and grabbed his book again. "Shinobi fighting lesson number 2- Genjutsu." He looked around for Sasuke, but the kid was hidden fairly well. Naruto, or a Naruto, on the other hand, was still standing in the middle of the clearing.

His attention focused on Naruto when the figure looked directly at him.

"Lesson 2- Trance."

The world around Kakashi swam for a moment as static filled his vision, and then Naruto was gone.

Feeling confident that his Sharingan could deal with any illusions, the jounin lifted his protective headband only to find his special eye could only see static. That was new. Putting his book away, Kakashi placed his hands in the ram seal, and forced a chakra imbalance.

The static dissipated.

"Yeah..." The voice bounced from all over the training ground. "I'm not very good at illusions. 'Too fleeting' they say. Oh, and Jingle-Jingle."

Kakashi chuckled. "Nice try-" he was cut off as a swarm of projectiles shot out of one of the bushes, but none of them touched him.

Sasuke shot out of a bush, and attacked the jounin with fists and feet.

Kakashi repelled him, of course, but he wasn't able to read his book while doing so. "Well done Sasuke. Still, you don't have a bell yet, do you?"

"Not yet." The Genin stated as he flashed through five handseals, ending on the tiger handseal. He quickly inhaled, yelled "Fire Style: Great Fireball!" then exhaled.

The resulting fireball was impressive, but Kakashi had already sunk into the earth, using his Underground Move Jutsu. After a second to let the uncertainty sink in, he grabbed Sasuke's ankles, and dragged him into the ground.

Once the Genin had been buried up to his neck, Kakashi returned to the surface. "And Shinobi Lessons Number 3- Ninjutsu." He tapped the Genin on the head with his Icha Icha novel.

Sasuke growled.

"Don't be like that! You did better than either of... The... Others..." Kakashi stopped talking as he realized he hadn't heard any jingling noises from the bells. Or Naruto.

"Lesson 3- Burst."

Four Narutos stepped out of the woods, each holding something that floated several inches off the palm of their hand- a tiny, dark grey sphere, slightly larger than a marble. "This cost me four kunai," they said in unison, "but it's impressive as all hell."

The rightmost one flicked the floating sphere, and it turned into a lance of liquid fire with a concussive BANG, moving so fast that no-one was able to react in time.

Now there was a smoking hole in Kakashi's Icha Icha novel, and one of the rocks next to the stream exploded.

The backlash had popped the clone. The remaining clones shrugged, then took aim, and fired.

Thunder rolled as shit exploded. Trees, rocks, one of the posts they were supposed to be tied to- anything it hit either had a hole burned in it, or blew up. The clones also blew up, but the damage they left behind was significant.

Kakashi's orange book was the target, and he desperately didn't want it to be harmed any further- and he succeeded, if only just, as the bell for noon rang.

Naruto walked out of the woods, carrying two bells. "Jingle-jingle."

Kakashi glared at him, and swiped the bells away. "Well done Naruto." He sounded sickened somehow. "But you violated the point of the exercise."

Naruto sighed. "In that case, I'll give the bells to Sasuke and Sakura." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "What does one more year hurt?"

Suddenly the jounin loomed like some sort of dark God. The one that likes bats and owls, not the ones with unusual numbers of eyes or teeth. "Really? And would your comrades give them back to let you get ahead?"

The blond tilted his head to one side, puzzled. "Why does it- oh... That's a clever test."

Kakashi eye-smiled. "Great! You figured it out! But since you didn't figure it out soon enough..."

* * *

Naruto sagged against the ropes. He knew he could break them, easily, but if he did, Kakashi would just fail him off the team. "I hate you all."

The three ninja eating their lunch just ignored him.

* * *

 **End chapter 3**

* * *

Yeah... I don't like a lot of people in Konoha.

Please review! It helps me figure out new ways for character to be awesome.

* * *

Omake: Clam

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I don't like anything and I dislike almost everything. My ambition is to kill a certain man and rebuild my clam."

Naruto grabbed his nose in an attempt to stop from laughing. 'Rebuild his clam? What?'

Kakashi looked at the brooding genin oddly, before continuing on as if nothing happened- but he never looked the same way at Sasuke after that.

Sakura developed an unhealthy obsession with mollusks, and Naruto died after bursting into laughter so hard his heart stopped when he learned that there was a Slug Sannin.

Sasuke died of food poisoning a few weeks later- killed by a bad clam.

The end.

(A/N- yeah, I made a typo and rolled with it.)


	4. Chapter 4- IHNIWTCTC

(A/N- start)

Seriously- I have no idea why this plot bunny got into my head. It's humped all my muses into submission, and is now growing fangs.

Oh joy.

Again- yes, Naruto is powerful. Problem is, he can only do so much with chakra (not much, to be honest), and Psi, while more powerful than chakra in some ways, is less so in others. Psi needs a ramp-up period, even if it isn't seen, and without a matter-destroying burst, or the refined edge of telekinesis that more experienced psychers have, he can be taken by surprise.

More words!

'gaki' :: 'brat'. Can be used as a suffix.

So... Yeah. I don't own Naruto or Psyren. Too bad, right?

(A/N- end)

* * *

"I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE!" -Zex from DeathBattle

* * *

 **Chapter 4- I have no idea what to call this chapter**

* * *

When a person learned about Psi, they learned about the percentages.

The concept was that a person had a maximum capacity for psi- up to 100%, which was balanced between the three aspects of Rise, Trance, and Burst. By pushing beyond it, hitting 110% percent or higher, the person was exceeding their maximum, and caused strain on their brain.

This often resulted in increased performance, but fevers, bloody noses, neural burns, aneurysms, and strokes were the price- and few people could withstand the more severe bills.

There were exceptions though.

Some people could use their Rise to increase their healing ability, then raising their Trance to gain a better control over their power, and finally infusing their body with Burst to force their brain to time-share. In effect, all three levels would be brought up too 100%- hitting a total of 300% very, very quickly.

This state was called 'Nova', and it was seen as the ultimate expression of how powerful Psi really was. Only four people had achieved this state in Ageha's old world, and he had been forced to kill one of them.

They had started the process for Naruto, and it had hurt like hell- mainly because after hitting all three levels, the body began to vaporize.

But first a small area, such as a hand, had to experience what the Nova state was... That was the stage where most people dissolved into mist.

* * *

Steam rose from his body as Naruto cycled in and out of the Nova state, ignoring the chattering of Sakura. Kakashi had left half an hour ago- or, more accurately, had hidden himself in a location that he assumed was out of the detection range of any of the genin.

The steam rose, then subsided as Naruto pushed the feeling of discorporallization up his arm, then back down again. Then he did it again. And again. And again. Every time he pulled the feeling back up his arm he felt it crawl slightly higher- but he didn't feel like he was about to float away, or evaporate.

Sasuke was arguing with Sakura now. Naruto perked up and listened on their conversation.

"If he got the bells, why didn't Kakashi-Sensei pass him?" Sakura asked, listing with rapt attention.

"Because he's the Dobe." Sasuke drawled. "The test's objective is obviously to see who can work together to get the bells."

"But I was willing to work with you!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Yes, but the Dobe wasn't." Sasuke sighed as he put his hands in his pockets.

"... I was willing to go back to the academy for you guys." Naruto explained, his feet dangling off the ground as the rope still held him fast to the pole. "Did that mean nothing?"

"Of course not Baka!" Shouted Sakura. "You will probably be going back to the academy anyway, so no matter what you do, you need to follow Sasuke-kun's lead."

Naruto glared at the two Genin, his eye twitching. "..."

"As much as I hate to say it, she is right." Sasuke said. "You need to follow my lead on this- as is my rightful place as an Uchiha."

Naruto's eye twitched again, there was a crunch noise, and he slid down the pole as the ropes suddenly became slack. As soon as his feet touched the ground Naruto sat down, and took several calming breaths. After a few moments he opened his eyes, and said, emotionlessly, "I understand Sasuke."

"Shannero!" Sakura cheered. "We will all work together."

Kakashi appeared before them in a swirl of leaves, right behind the female Genin. "Oh, will you now?"

Naruto just looked up at him.

"Even if I tie up Naruto again?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto sighed. "Fuck it- why not."

Kakashi blurred, and Naruto was now tied to the same pole again- this time, upside down and with his limbs independently wrapped. "What's your answer?"

"Hnn." Sasuke grunted, nodding slightly.

Sakura, seeing Sasuke agree, pumped her fist. "Of course! We will beat you together- even if we have to save Naruto again."

The pole, which had been crushed by Naruto's exertion of telekinesis, had lost a lot of structural strength. A part of it cracked, before falling over- and now Naruto was on the ground, still tied up.

"The funny thing is-" his voice was muffled. "-I'm not even mad. Just annoyed."

Kakashi leaned over them menacingly, causing Sakura to start shaking slightly. "Are you really, really sure?"

"Yes..." Sakura tried to get a hold of herself.

"Hnn." Sasuke grunted.

Kakashi eye-smiled again. "Great! You pass! Come on-let's go out to eat. My treat!" He looked back at the ninja on the ground. "Be here tomorrow at 9 for our first mission."

The three ninja left Naruto on the ground, still tied up.

"Now I'm pissed." His muffled voice resonated up from the ground, deathly calm. "Really, really pissed."

* * *

An hour later, Naruto was still tied up. He tried to use his telekinesis on the ropes, but it was the sort of rope that ninja used- i.e., threaded with chakra-conducting wire and charged to be almost-indestructible.

He had tried to use a kunai that had been left in the field, as someone (probably Kakashi) had taken his kunai, shuriken, and assorted weapons at some point while he was tied up, but the thing was stopped by the interwoven ninja wire.

He had used up all his shadow clones with the Coilgun attack.

On top of all this, he hadn't been able to get the black burst working yet, and wasn't about to try while he was unable to doge it's effects- he really didn't want to be shredded by his own attack.

 _Still,_ he thought, as he tried to get comfortable, _Hinata should have gotten my message and may come looking for me._

Naruto smiled at that thought, and sent out a wave of Trance. It would only 'ping' off minds of a certain level of complexity, and he got a strong impression from the treeline behind him.

"Hi there." Naruto squirmed around to look in the general direction. "Yes, I know you're there. Can you come out, Hinata?"

The figure stepped out of the treeline, and Naruto paled slightly. "Um... You're not Hinata."

The red-eyed woman smirked. "No. And you will not be approaching her- ever." She flashed through a series of handseals. "Hell-Viewing Jutsu: Thousand Flowers."

Naruto felt the familiar prickle as the illusion tried and failed to take hold of him. "Um... Can you untie me?"

The kunochi glared at him as her illusion seemed to fail. "And why would I do that?"

Naruto fought down the instinct to cringe at her tone, and pumped his Rise as high as it could go to heal and harden his skin. "Because I am a tied-up Genin who is asking politely?"

Red-eyes glared. "Perverts don't deserve help." She pulled several senbon needles out from a hidden pouch. "And I really don't like demons." Two of the needles sank into the ropes covering his crotch.

Naruto cranked his rise higher, ignoring the pain- and the subsequent burst blood vessel in his nose.

"Oh look- the pervert likes the idea of being perforated.~" She sounded almost like she was singing, but she was still glaring at him. Holding a needle in each hand, she knelt down next to Naruto's head. "And if you talk with Hinata ever again, or attempt to get near her ever again-" the needles were facing his eyes.

Naruto pushed past his limit for Burst and Trance, putting up a telekinetic shield over his eyes. The blood fell freely from his nose, and his eyes began to bleed as his blood pressure skyrocketed.

"- I'm going to make sure you can never set eyes on any woman ever again." She wasn't even glaring anymore- just... Stating a fact.

Naruto felt something in his head snap as he kept his protections up- and he was distantly aware of Kuri shouting in his head... Something about an aneurism?

"Of course... I don't take chances." She stood up. "And since the illusion didn't work..." The needles vanished from her hand in a blur of movement, and Naruto tried not to scream as he felt one impale a testicle as the other hit his bladder- maybe she enhanced them with chakra, he didn't know.

Trying desperately not to pass out from the pain, he couldn't move as she kicked him over and stomped on his crotch.

Then she did it again, and left the training area.

Naruto, in the midst of all this pain, reached out with his telekinesis, and pulled the two senbon out with a scream.

Then he released his overclocking on his Psi, and did nothing as he waited for his body to heal.

"Why?" Naruto squeaked as he lay there. "Why did she have to stomp on my dick?"

* * *

In a bar more than a mile away, the red-eyed kunochi drank her sake, secure in the knowledge that Hinata wouldn't have any more trouble with the demon brat.

It had been cute when she had begged to have the note, but no-one knew better than Kurenai Yuuhi how much danger the boy could put someone in.

Or any male really.

* * *

Some chunin came across him, still tied up, about ten minutes later.

After they left he had to remove three throwing stars, and five kunai from different parts of his body- but they had managed to sever some of the chakra-strengthened wires within the ropes.

Chakra-wire was odd stuff- uncharged, it was as soft as normal string. But if charged, it could be pulled through large trees- and often was used to cut stone. But it could only be charged once, and unless the person was maintaining the charge, it could lose strength rapidly, eventually dissolving into dust from the strain.

Keeping this in mind, Naruto just had to wait and let the charge dissipate.

And he needed to heal. That was important too.

* * *

Naruto woke just before dawn, the phantom pains of the previous day's injuries causing him to groan before he manipulated several kunai and shruken slashed through the ropes. He stood carefully, feeling the new scar tissue begin the onerous process of dissolving back into normal tissues, and, with a flick of his fingers, the weapons slid into the various pouches around his body- all except one, which imploded into a tiny sphere of metal.

The Genin sighed as he picked up the remains of a throwing star, placing it in a separate pouch that had been full of kunai once...

Fuck, those assholes stole his wallet too!

Naruto thrust his hand savagely a nearby tree, and it exploded into splinters- as did the ones behind it, and a fairly large boulder.

Telekinesis was a terrifying weapon... Good thing it was his!

He wished it had helped with the ropes though. "Seriously!" He muttered. "I didn't even know where the knots were to untie the damned thing."

* * *

Fifty shadow clones swarmed over Konoha, each one utilizing Naruto's physical Transformation Jutsu to look like a random Genin ninja.

Ten of them entered the Konoha library, intent on reading everything they could find- language development books first. Another twenty located the Konoha Jutsu Repository -a place only known to ninja-, and began to read through all the Jutsu that was present there.

Five were sent to infiltrate the Shinobi Academy using a Transparency Jutsu that, with the amount of chakra he could push out, would make his clones nigh-invisible. The remaining fifteen clones went to the other training grounds, and would apply the chakra-control lessons that he had found over the last week.

The original walked to Ichiraku Ramen, and sat on one of the stools, waiting for them to open. He had intended to go back to his apartment, but someone had broken in, taken all his possessions, and burned them in the street. (Shadow clone memory transference was like the Swiss-army knife of Jutsu.)

Naruto had no idea how they managed to burn the toilet, but they managed. He didn't even know it could be moved!

The panels that opened into the ramen bar opened up, and Ayame Ichiraku smiled at him.

Naruto sighed- one of the few people who actually liked him, and he got to see her almost every day. Giving her a genuine smile, he greets his oldest female friend. "Good morning Ayame-chan!"

Ayame lights the stove, and pulls the kerchief over her hair. "Good morning Naruto-kun! How does it feel being on a ninja team?"

Naruto's smile fell. It had not been a good day.

She put the pot on to boil, and saw his expression. She poked her head out of the stall, and after looking to see if there was anyone around, flipped open a hidden door in the counter, walked out, and gave him a hug.

"That bad huh?" She murmured.

A few tears of remembered pain escaped, but Naruto held the rest in. "Yeah..." He hugged her back, and felt her stiffen- he had never hugged her back before, but she soon relaxed.

"Dad- can I take a few hours off?" Ayame yelled as she gently pulled the boy back behind the counter.

Naruto reluctantly released Ayame. "I can't stay that long... But I have a present for you."

Ayame blinked her beautiful brown eyes. "What sort of present?"

Naruto pulsed his power- not Burst, nor Trance or Rise, but the stuff that was only called Psi. It filled the air around them, and he saw Ayame's bangs lift in the sudden barometric change. "Power."

She breathed in, and swooned as bits of her brain connected in ways few beings ever experienced. "Whoa..."

Naruto hugged her again, and steadied her when he saw the blood begin to drip from her nose. "You may want to take the next day or so off- I'll come find you when you feel better, alright?"

Ayame nodded, feeling dizzy and rather sick. "Alright... Just... Put me down over there..." Her hand shook as she began to succumb to exhaustion. "You'll be ok?"

Naruto kissed her forehead. "Yes Ayame-chan. Now get some rest." He watched as her eyes closed, and her breathing steadied. "Don't bother trying to wake her now." He said, talking to Teuchi (Ayame's father). "She should wake up tomorrow around this time, feeling refreshed."

"What did you do?" Teuchi asked quietly. He was an ex-Shinobi, and rarely raised his voice unless it was to be heard over noisy customers.

"I gave her power." Naruto said simply. "I don't want her harmed, so I am giving her power now rather than risk later issue."

The chef blinked, and nodded slowly. "Alright... I trust you Naruto. Anything I can do to help her?"

Naruto smiled slightly. "Make sure she gets enough to eat when she wakes up- she will be incredibly hungry, and thirsty." He walked around the corner, but then poked his head back into the shop. "And if anything starts to move on it's own, just ignore it."

Teuchi watched in slight confusion as Naruto vanished again, before turning back to his work. Since his daughter was asleep on the cot (out of the way), he went back to making ramen.

* * *

Naruto walked slowly back to the training area, his mind trying to deal with his current problem. Mainly, since he now had no money, how was he going to get any food?

 **"Hunt. Or use your fancy psi to collect money somehow."** Grumbled Kuri. **"Oh, and, you know- STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF!"**

The boy stopped walking, looked around for the nearest vertical surface, and placed his forehead against it. "No shit!"

* * *

Once again, Naruto was in training ground seven. This time, however, he was meditating, and trying to get the feel of his psi right.

As he had been taught, elemental manipulation was within the capabilities of both psi and chakra. It was usually easier to detect which natural affinity they had through chakra, due to vast number of elemental Jutsu, but psi could do something similar.

There were a few, simple steps to controlling an element.

Step 1- understand the behavior of what you wanted to manipulate. Electricity was fairly simple on the visible scale, as Oh-Seven explained, and could be predicted.

Step 2- know how the element you want to manipulate feels. This one was trickier, as you needed to have a current running through you while feeling it with your psi, to get the 'flavor' memorized.

Step 3- there is no three.

Naruto relaxed, letting Burst gather between the palms of his hands, and remembered how the Lightning Jutsu felt as it hit him all those years ago.

 **"Fuck no, please don't start a flashback."** Howled Kuri. **"Everything looks grey and cold, and I have to relive exactly what I was doing at the time too!"**

 _Why do you even care?_ Asked Naruto.

 **"I fucking hate the cold!"** She snapped.

 _'Kay. No trips down memory lane when I could be doing things._

She settled down. **"Damn straight."**

Naruto pulled the feeling of electricity out of his memories, and pushed it into the pulsating mass of burst energy. Lightning began to dance around his fingers, and he felt the feedback as his burst was now telling him things about the world around him.

And the world below him. It was like his skin extended several meters beyond his body, and felt the slight resistance as it moved through different types of objects. It felt different depending on what the object's density was, and, to test it, he picked up a kunai using his telekinesis. The metal moved through his sensory field, distorting it in several ways as it did so.

To someone who does not feel the world like that normally, and using a language used by those who did not feel the world like he was now, the situation was distinctly odd. The were large things, like a general current around him that felt like he was standing in a constant breeze, and the twisting of what his teachers had called 'organic circuitry' that were the basics of what life felt like... But there were also small things- the unique twisting patterns that were felt within and around metal, how the looping lines of feel got ever-so-slightly deflected by his telekinetic intentions, and a sort-of curve in the very air itself.

This one made Naruto space out a little, trying to see what he was feeling, but quickly came to his senses as Kuri spoke up.

 **"Done daydreaming?"**

Naruto shook his head to clear the cobwebs. "Yep!" He said aloud, as he felt out the items within his range of detection that were nonmagnetic metals (not enforcing their own field on his field, and yet conductive as a metal usually was), reached out with his telekinesis, and pulled the metals to the surface.

Blood began to drip from his nose- this task was not easy in the slightest, as he had to maintain his detection field (something he was unused to), and pull the metals to the surface. To make the task more difficult, the metals were in very small amounts, and he needed to overclocking his trance to control the activity.

"I'm going to need to figure out a Jutsu or seal diagram to do this." Naruto muttered as he saw the first sparkles swirl up from the ground around him. Holding Burst at 80% and Trance at 97% to maintain both techniques was not easy, but it would become easier eventually.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a pile of dust the size of a fat man's head and neck on the stone in front of him. Silver, gold, platinum, and other metals were all intermixed, making the pile glitter in the sunlight.

Naruto tilted his head back, let the blood coagulate, having relaxed to below normal levels of focus, and shaped a telekinetic bowl to pick up the dust. Now that he had the dust, he needed to separate them to sell them...

* * *

Anko Mitarashi was having a good morning. She had her dango (a rice-flour dumpling), and the tea in her cup went along well with it. The morning air was crisp, and, as she jumped from branch to branch along the training fields, the sky brightened into a gorgeous dawn, her tan trench-coat flowing behind her as the mesh bodysuit she habitually wore let the breeze in, keeping her deliciously cool.

Then she heard the slithering.

It wasn't the sound of snakes- she was familiar enough with her own summons to know the sound of a snake slithering around the ground regardless of size. It had an inorganic quality, a sort of rustling chime that reverberated off of her bones and made them itch.

Gulping her tea, and quickly finishing her dango, Anko shot off, following the slight increasing slithering noise as it become more and more prevalent.

What she found was not in any way what she might have been expecting. In truth, she didn't know what she was expecting, but this was not it.

The village dobe, Naruto Uzumaki, was sitting, bleeding profusely from one nostril, as shiny dust cascaded out of the ground around him, forming a neat pile. After a little while, the flow of dust stopped, and Naruto tilted his head back to stop the nosebleed.

His right hand, which had been lightly crackling with electricity, stopped doing so.

Anko considered what she was seeing. On one hand, he was the village idiot- well, among the new Genin. He had been unable to preform the basic Clone Jutsu, a technique so simple that children under the age of ten could preform it successfully, and since illusions were most ninja's bread and butter due to simple utility of misdirection, he had been written off as a meatshield/grunt.

On the other, she had heard through the jounin grapevine that he could apparently create shadow-clones, a skill that was out of reach of most ninja ever (insufficient chakra), and that the kid had some sort of 'psi' power that all the Jounins had been informed about.

Of course, there was the Fox- but she hadn't felt it flare since the sealing back when the kid was born, even if the kid had been beaten up and nearly killed by the villagers on multiple occasions.

She spit the dango-skewer into a tree, and it imbedded in the wood.

The metal dust had been compacted slightly, and separated into two equal piles of floating metal- then began to spin rapidly around Naruto.

In seconds the two piles were a blur, then a nearly-contiguous ring, which began to shift color as a humming buzz became more audible.

The circle expanded, still humming and buzzing, until it became thinner and thinner, but still rotating at the same speed. This remained the case for a few minutes, then the ring shrank again and slowed until it was two distinct nodules of metal- each one distinctly odd.

She had never seen metal that color before- or, specifically, metal that had so many different bands in it. At the top were several grayish metals, and a distinct ring of copper, before transitioning into something that looked like silver, then gold, and a duller silver on the bottom.

The nodules rested in his hands, and he blew on the tops, revealing that they were still made of dust- just sorted by whatever he had just did.

Anko stepped out of the shadows. "Hey kid."

He almost dropped the nodules. "Who are you?"

"The Single, Sexy, Snake Mistriss: Jounin Anko Mitarashi!" She tossed a prepared ball into the air between two trees behind, where it exploded and threw out four kunai, each tied to the edges of a banner with exactly what she had just said written on it. She posed dramatically.

Naruto blinked at her, and grinned. "Right! Naruto Uzimaki, Genin." He tossed both nuggets into the air, where they spread out together, and collapsed into three separate nuggets on the ground.

The gold one in the middle, the silver one on the right, and the duller-silver on the left.

Then the nuggets compressed, becoming red-hot, before sizzling as they flew into (and then out of) the stream.

Naruto carefully pocketed the nuggets, and wiped the blood off his face. "Look, Mitarashi-san, I really need to get some food, and to do that I need to find a pawn shop that give decent rates. Or maybe a jeweler. So-"

And grabbed him by the collar of his ragged jumpsuit, and lifted the kid up to eye level. /Dear kami he weighs nothing!/ "Great. Sure. But first..." She reached into his pocket, and grabbed the nugget of gold, holding it in his face. "You will tell me exactly how you did this."

"Um... My bloodline?" Naruto hazarded.

"Nice try, but no Uzumaki had..." Anko's mind drifted back in time, remembering the different stories of the Uzumaki that could toss entire hills out of their way with the stomp of a foot, others controlled wind or water like it was a part of them. Then there were the stories of the Uzumaki sealing arts, and their proficiency in creating works of sublime beauty.

Strangely, the stories stopped being told just after the Nine-Tailed fox attacked the village.

Anko blinked, and suddenly Natuto was on the ground, several feet away from her, his nose bleeding freely again. She was still holding part of his jumpsuit, but it looked like it had been sliced off by an insanely sharp blade. "What did you just do?"

* * *

Naruto pinched his nose to stem the bleeding. Teleportation was a useful trick, and was only a form of refined telekinesis (switching two distinct locations in space took a lot of focus though). He would have used it to free himself from the ropes earlier, but he was still having trouble getting the exchanges precise enough for, say, removing something that was binding him so tightly it was almost too-small clothing.

The stretchy neck of his jumpsuit was fine though.

"I would rather not... Mitarashi-san, can I please leave to get food?" He asked, rather nasally, as he was still holding his nose shut. With a flick of telekinesis, the golden sphere fell out of Anko's hand as she kept looking at the scrap of fabric in her left hand and his even-more damaged uniform.

Carefully, moving slowly as not to startle her, he walked over to the gold orb, picked it up, and began to walk out of the training field.

Acting on instinct, Naruto pulsed his Rise to move several meters to the side, just barely avoiding a large snake that was appearing out of Anko's sleeve.

"No gaki." She was suddenly in front of him, in a swirl of leaves, snake coiling around her arm. "I am going to take you out to breakfast- if you tell me what you did to get out of my grip."

Naruto shrugged. She never said he had to tell the truth. "It's like the Body Replacement, but instead of exchanging with a log or physical object, I exchange with the air." Eh- close enough, and technically true.

As Anko's mouth dropped open, he reflected that he may have been too close to the truth.

She grabbed his hand, and began to run- at ninja speeds, through the trees.

(A/N- although the average Jounin speed is rather disputed, the most concrete number is around 90 kph to 130 kph {or, at least, the only ones that I could find references for}. Might Gai and his clone can nearly hit Mach 1, which is around 1234.8 kph at sea-level, but they are at the high end.)

In a few minutes, they were behind the walls of Training Ground 44- Aka the forest of death.

And she was staring him in the eyes. "Brat, if you teach me how to do that, I will do all sorts of pleasurable things to you when you are a bit older."

Naruto, who had spent the equivalent of 6 years in his head with attentive parental figures who could manifest images of anything they so desired, knew about this subject. "Rain check?"

Anko nodded, deadly serious.

Naruto looked slightly unnerved. "Well... I can't really teach it to you-" he stopped for a second as she drew a kunai, but that was only to focus enough to crush it with his telekinesis. "-but I can give you similar a similar sort of power, one unique to you... In exchange, will you teach me as much as you can?"

Anko looked at the ruined kunai, then at Naruto. "... Kid, you have a deal- that is, if you deliver." She smiled craftily. "Hell kid, I'll even treat you to breakfast! How's that sound?"

Naruto nodded, but held up a hand as his stomach protested it's lack of food. "Breakfast first?"

The jounin blurred, and was suddenly holding a rabbit. "Ever had cooked bunny?"

* * *

"Why do you want to be able to jump anyway?" Naruto asked as he crunched on the cooked rabbit leg.

"Jump?"

Naruto appeared three meters left, still eating his rabbit, sitting on the neatly-sliced bit of fallen tree. The spot he had been sitting looked like someone had taken a bite out of it. "This."

Anko put down her skewer of meat, and pulled the trench coat away from her neck, revealing a black tattoo of three tomoe in a triangle pattern and surrounded by a intricate circle. "I want to destroy the bastard who did this to me."

Naruto looked up, then back at his food. "You want to kill a bad tattoo artist?"

Anko slapped him upside the head. "No, baka, it's a seal. A very messed up one too."

Said Baka perked up, and was now interested. "What is it?"

"A seal-" Anko began to repeat herself, but was interrupted by Naruto.

"What sort of seal?" Naruto asked, exasperated. "What parameters were set on it's placement? Which sealing language was used? Can you activate it briefly, and if so, does it unfold or remain in it's compressed state?"

Anko looked poleaxed. "Um... It's the Cursed Seal of Heaven. I don't know what half the questions you asked were about."

"The language referee to what characters were used to write the seal." Naruto explained patiently. "Initial parameters include things that may have been added into hidden storage areas, such as poisonous compounds or explosives, as they can only be added in the initial stages to prevent tampering. Unfolding refers to how the seal characters move and interact while activated."

"How do you even know all of this?" Anko asked, somewhat concerned since everyone said that Naruto was, let's face it, an idiot.

Naruto smiled softly, and began moving a finger in a circle, causing the fire to flow in spirals. "I stole the forbidden scroll, and met my ancestors through a hidden, sealed scroll. They taught me lots of things- including how to share this power." He lifted a hand.

Anko felt herself lift into the air, and grinned. This sort of power broke all the rules of normal ninja combat. "Well then, lay it on me, kid!"

Naruto set her back on the ground. "Do you have a spare week?"

The jounin frowned. "What?"

"This power will take you out for about a day or so, as you adjust to it." Naruto explained. "Then it will take a little while before you can use it effectively. You need the time- do you have it?"

Anko frowned. "I... Arg!" She clutched at her hair in frustration. "I don't! Fuck!"

Naruto patted her thigh- the only place he could reach while sitting down that wasn't excessively inappropriate. "You should be able to easily find me again Mitarashi-san. After all, I am one of Kakashi's Genin."

The jounin burst out laughing, then stopped when she saw his puzzled face. "Oh, wait- you're serious?"

He nodded.

"Right- I need to laugh even harder. Give me a minute." Anko collapsed, howling her laughter at the thought that Kakashi of all people would be leading a Genin team.

* * *

 **Chapter 4 end**

* * *

Hey everyone! I hope you liked the chapter. Please review if you did- it encourages me to write more.

And it keeps my muse from muttering in a corner. Please make them stop.


	5. Chapter 5- A day in the life of team 7

(A/N- start)

Wow! This story is easier to write than any of the other fan fictions. Seriously, the last 20k words were written in less than a week!

Yes, it seems like everyone is ragging on Naruto more than in the manga. There is a reason for this: scaling.

See, in the original storyline, Naruto wasn't really a perceived threat to anyone for the LONGEST time, and therefore they treated him like a two-legged squirrel with rabies- unstable, and dangerous, but no real threat of you keep your distance. And if it's chained up, so much the better.

In cannon, Kakashi teaches team seven ONE skill before the chunin exams- tree walking. The other teams mention learning all sorts of other things from their families and Sensei- illusions, spells (read : Justus), and martial arts, among other things.

There are other fucked up things too, but what I want to point out is that Naruto has shown he has power- and is dangerous, but not enough to get a Gaara-like fear response. So whatever else, Kakashi and many, many others are going to go out of their way to be assholes.

Yeah... I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any other source material that may be found in this. Yet.

Enjoy the chapter!

(A/N-end)

* * *

"There should be a witty quote here. Why isn't there?" -Deadpool

* * *

 **Chapter 5- A Day In The Life Of Team 7**

* * *

"D-Ranks." Naruto muttered as he pulled weeds in the garden alongside his 'teammates'. "Fucking D-Ranks."

His morning had been interesting. Very interesting in fact- after sharing a rabbit and some information with Anko, he had persuaded her to use the body-flicker Jutsu to get her home, where he activated any latent psi capibility.

Since she fell over like a very sexy pile of bricks within a minute, complete with nosebleed and fever, she had some potential there. He opened her door, placed her on the couch, and left- locking the door behind himself.

Then, acting on a thought that had plagued him from earlier, he created another fifty shadow clones, and set them to practicing the body-replacement Jutsu. Hopefully, by this time tomorrow, he would be able to begin dropping the number of seals it needed to successfully work.

Then, whistling cheerfully, the twelve-year-old Genin walked to training ground 7.

After he arrived, there was the customary waiting period as all three team members waited for Kakashi (late by only an hour and a half this time, whereupon he gave them their assignments for the day.

Mission 1) help a farmer harvest crops (potatoes).

Mission 2) help an old lady tend her garden.

Mission 3) catch Tora the (demonic) cat.

All D-ranked, which paid little in terms of money and less in respect.

The first mission had been completed within a few hours, as Naruto had eventually gotten fed up and asked if he could use a Jutsu to complete it faster. Kakashi had agreed, and then was stunned into silence as Naruto created more than a hundred shadow clones, who stripped the field in minutes.

Sakura, who had been spending most of the mission trying to get Sasuke's attention, never noticed- even when a clone placed a 'kick me' sign on her back. Sasuke had noticed, and glared at Naruto at every chance he got.

Now they were cleaning out a rather small garden, and- oh shit, here, comes the old lady again.

She smacked Naruto on the head with her umbrella. "Bad demon! Don't touch those!"

Naruto, having put up a shield with his telekinesis, stepped away from the flowering plants. He had been almost done extracting the blackberries from the other plants when she had struck him. "Look, lady, this is the fourth time you've said that." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at Sakura and Sasuke. "They don't know what you are talking about. Now, you have three choices here- first, you can stop hitting me with that damn umbrella, and let me help do the job you paid us to do. Second- you can answer the questions of the Genin behind me about what you just said, and probably violate the Third's Law (which still has a death penalty by the way). Or third- you keep doing what you are doing, ignore the questions, and I will spend as much time here as possible, keeping you company." He grinned, and let a little chakra flow into his teeth, lengthening the canines.

The old woman (who was probably related to Sakura in some way if the pink shade of her hair was anything to go by) narrowed her eyes. "Fine. Get out of here demon- and take your team with you."

Kakashi appeared between them in a swirl of leaves, and held out the mission scroll to sign.

* * *

The mission to capture Tora the (demon) cat would have been a failure if Naruto hadn't spammed shadow clones to find her. Sasuke had given up after twenty minutes, just staring at a tree and, if his glare was any indication, apparently trying to make it burst into flame out of sheer rage. Sakura was panting on the ground- no stamina at all.

Kakashi had just followed alongside them, still reading his book, until Naruto swore, and exploded into a horde of clones.

He had located Tora and captured her in ten minutes, still colorfully swearing.

After Kakashi delivered Tora to the wife of local Daimyo (an action that probably put all of team 7 on the list of animal abusers considering what the woman did to the cat while they watched), he took the team back to training ground 7.

Once there, he created a shadow clone, which stayed with Sakura and Naruto, while the original took Sasuke somewhere else using the body-flicker Jutsu.

The clone sat down, and motioned for the two of them to do so as well. "Sakura, you did everything we were supposed to do well." It said with Kakashi's eye-smile firmly in place. "And since I have taken Sasuke away for his section of training, I have a lesson for you!"

The clone plucked a few leaves off a bush that was at hand, and placed one on the end of his nose. It began to spin there, on it's edge, like a tiny, incredibly thin top.

"Take these leaves, and by tomorrow I want you to be able to stick them to any part of your body using your chakra." The clone have her the leaves. "Keep it up until you pass out tonight. Got it?"

Sakura looked at the leaves, then back up at her Sensei. "This well help me become a stronger ninja?"

The clone nodded. "And Sasuke wants strength- so if you get stronger, you will become more valuable in his eyes."

"Shannero!" The girl had some weird fire burning in her eyes- possibly a natural illusion. Some ninja could do them after all. "I'll do my best!"

The clone kept smiling. "Good. Now, run along." He waited until Sakura had left the clearing, before turning to face Naruto. He wasn't smiling anymore. "Now, Naruto, we need to have a chat about being a helpful teammate."

Naruto frowned. "Wait, what?"

"You didn't support Sasuke's decisions with Torah." The clone stated. "And you upstaged him when you were all supposed to be picking potatoes."

Naruto's eye was twitching.

"Then you talked back to a client..." The clone gave Naruto an opening to respond, but he just glared at the clone. "And since you felt that you didn't need to apologize for your actions, I will be working with you in humility training."

Naruto blinked. "What does that ent-" The clone blurred, and something hit him hard enough in the back of his head to knock him out.

* * *

He woke up to the feeling of memories pouring into his head- and passed out again, blood coming from his tear ducts, nose, and ears as the neural overload took it's toll.

He didn't even notice that he was tied up. Or nearly naked.

He did, however, manage to notice that he was suspended several meters off the ground.

* * *

Around 2 am, Naruto woke up. And he was, very, very angry.

Several things he had discovered thanks to his shadow clone army were fairly disturbing- the fact that The Village Hidden in the Whirling Tides (Uzushiogakure) had really existed was one of them, and the history of what Konoha did to them was another.

Naruto, using his teleportation, cut through the rope suspending him to the branch, and then to bring himself safely to ground.

Then, remembering the tasks he had set part of the clone army to earlier in the day, Naruto substituted himself out of the ropes. It took him a few tries- most of the time, he just brought the ropes with him, but on the sixth attempt he succeeded to do the substitution Jutsu without any handseals.

Only to discover the fact that he was currently only wearing his underwear and ninja pouch.

Said pouch only had the three spheres of precious metal that he had collected earlier.

"Why they fuck did they take my clothes?" Naruto demanded of the darkness.

* * *

He had to use the Transformation Jutsu to look like he was wearing clothes that morning, but was able to find a 24/7 clothing store. Good thing the stores in a ninja village kept odd hours.

It wouldn't sell to him, but he didn't look like himself.

* * *

The next day moved along in a similar manner to the previous day, and it continued like that for a couple weeks.

Naruto would escape the trap that Kakahi had placed him in, usually by substituting himself out of the ropes, find the spare clothes he had stashed nearby, extract more of the precious metals out of the ground beneath Konoha, and get something to eat.

At 8 am he would spawn his army of shadow clones to milk every advantage he could get out of their training.

At 9 am, he would appear at the training ground, and his teammates would appear. The would, of course, ignore him, and do their own thing. Naruto spent the time trying to focus light, to recreate the 'Crashing Heavens' from Oh-Seven's stories.

On the first day, he managed to get a leaf to wrinkle from a few feet away.

Between 10 and 11 Kakashi would show up, and either give them the usual set of D-Class missions, or bring them to the Hokage's tower, where they would be able to select the missions they had that day.

Over the course of the next six to nine hours, Team 7 would complete the D-Ranks, with Naruto abstaining from using any Jutsu at all during the missions.

When they finished, Kakashi would leave a shadow clone behind to give Sakura a chakra exercise, and would then proceed to knock out Naruto and leave him tied to a tree somewhere.

Naruto had been fairly paranoid, and had cranked his Rise to the maximum stable level- which didn't prevent him from being knocked out, as Kakashi used a pressure point strike.

The next day continued in the same pattern as the first, with slight variations in how he stopped Kakashi from knocking him out.

Armoring his body with burst worked, until Kakashi tossed a smoke bomb at him. He could use Rise to get away, but the jounin was relentless, and if he fell asleep, he would wake up tied up. Trance wasn't particularly useful, as the Sharingan under his sensei's headband would apparently cut through any illusion or compulsion he set.

He even tried a few times to substitute himself with shadow clones during the day, but Kakashi just began popping his clones until he found the real one.

Not being able to strike back against a superior officer sucked.

Finally, the first week of missions had ended. Tora the demonic cat had been caught by their team three times, several fields had been stripped, a few tons of logs had been moved, and numerous chores around the village had been carried out.

* * *

On the eighth day, none of the other members of his team had shown up.

Naruto pulled in even greater quantities of dust then before, feeling it cascade over his hands and feet in a tidal wave of metal, which separated into whirling spheres around him, separated by element. Carefully, he reached out with a hand, feeling his power bunch, and squeezed his hand into a fist.

Eighteen spheres imploded, turning from hissing orb-like clouds to solid spheres of molten metal less than a tenth their original size.

He relaxed his hand carefully, slowly releasing the pressure as bubbles popped on the slowly-expanding spheres. Every day his control jumped by leaps and bounds- and his chakra control was increasing as well.

"Hey Gaki!"

Naruto resisted the urge to blast the kunochi with the still-orbiting spheres of metal. "Hi Anko." He gently collected the spheres in front of him, and placed them on the ground- only then did he turn around. "Feel better?"

The sexy Kunochi was only wearing five pieces of clothing- a miniskirt, Shinobi sandals, a mesh body suit, and her normal overcoat. The only difference between the last time he had seen her was that the skirt was now red, rather than the purple it had been.

She was nibbling a piece of dango, and carrying a box in a plastic bag. "Oh, much better kid." With a rather sinuous motion, she swallowed the rest of the treat, and twirled the stick around her fingers. Then she was at his throat, holding the dango stick like a spike at his jugular. "You didn't tell me how I would spend three days hallucinating!"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Three days? Shit!" His nose began bleeding, and he shot out of her grip, tearing away at an increasing speed towards the village, leaving the metal spheres where they were.

Anko began chasing after him, shouting "I'm not finished with you yet, brat!"

* * *

Naruto's maximum Rise speed was beyond the speed of sound- he knew this from his practice in the seal, and his usage of his maximum speed against Mizuki back in chapter 1.

The problem was that, in order to move that fast, he had to push off the ground at a certain speed- and normally, most of that energy would be tossing him into the air. To compensate, he had to use his telekinesis to 'push' himself into the ground to keep himself from launching like a firework.

His burst field also provided a 'peristalsis bubble', which allowed him to move without causing supersonic shockwaves- but this stressed his concentration.

This, coupled with the fact that he trained his burst and rise whenever he normally moved around with his teammates by having his rise boost his body while holding himself back with his burst, meant that his body was capable of creating and maintaining massive forces.

In short, Naruto's footsteps cratered the ground when he ran now.

And it had only been 2 weeks since he had his psi activated.

* * *

Naruto shot through the town, and was, to most, an orange and black blur that left craters in its wake. Of course, he wasn't thinking about that at the moment, he was more concerned about- oh, he stopped at Ichiraku's.

Naruto vaulted over the counter in the ramen-bar, right into the kitchenette behind it. Teuchi, Ayame's father, looked at him once before waving towards the back of the restaurant.

"She's back there." He muttered, before pulling out a cleaver. "Help her... I can't."

Naruto was at her side before he pulled out the cleaver.

Ayame was sweating feverishly, objects around her rattling as she resisted her own power. Her nose was bleeding freely as she

Naruto threw up a bubble of Trance Psi. He wasn't particularly refined with it, but he knew that it could lessen the pressure on others if their powers were exceptionally volatile. "Ayame? Can you hear me?"

The woman cracked open one brown eye, and smiled through the pain. "Naruto-kun... How are you?"

"Fine- Ayame, you need to let go." He sat down and pulled her against his body, trying to offer a little comfort.

"B-but if I do..." She twitched as several objects in the room began to float.

Naruto looked her dead in the eyes. "Please, just let go. Let it move."

Ayame froze for a second, her brown eye staring into his blue eyes, then relaxed. "Ok Naruto."

The room moved- it was the only way to really describe it. Everything in it simultaneously was picked up and moved half a meter counter-clockwise, then sat back down. Mostly- some things were shredded and turned into confetti, while other items were crushed into tiny balls.

All of that was normal- for a psi activation. The disturbing but was when she touched the woven flooring with a hand, and it dissolved. After a few seconds, she stopped destroying physical material with a touch, and her nose stopped bleeding.

Naruto grinned, and hugged the woman, who sighed happily. "Good Job Ayame. Now, what I need you to do is-"

Naruto spent the next ten minutes explaining how to activate her rise to heal herself.

Ayame just rested in his arms, feeling the balance of internal energies she had never knew she had until now. "Everything feels so... Alive..."

"Oh, isn't that cute."

Naruto swore under his breath. "Damnit Anko."

The jounin sashayed in, dango stick twirling between her fingers. "Hey, you ran out on me kid."

Ayame glared at the jounin, who took jumped out of the way in a reflexive urge- and it may have been the only thing that saved Anko's life as the plant right behind her wilted and died in seconds. "Get out."

Gently, Naruto began to rub Ayame's shoulders, relaxing the ramen waitress as much as he could. Turning an eye to Anko, who was standing back in not inconsiderable terror, he spoke softly as not to disturb Ayame. "Anko, I will help you learn how to use your power, but I think Ayame needs me more now." His hands moved in a blur, and suddenly there was a shadow clone beside him.

The clone got up, and gently pushed Anko out of the room as the original relaxed Ayame as best he could.

She eventually drifted off to sleep- being unused to channeling psi and having a devastating natural affinity, she had exhausted her mind and body with the little that she actually had done.

Naruto sighed, and created another shadow clone, which utilized the substitution Jutsu to take his place. The two exchanged nods, and Naruto walked out of the room- only to come face-to-face with Teuchi. Well, face-to-cleaver.

The chef never really spoke loudly- he never needed to. Being an ex-Shinobi had its perks after all. "You are going to explain to me exactly what you did to Ayame, right now."

The cleaver curled up with the groan of tortured metal.

"I gave her a jump-start on using a power that will let her do that some day." Naruto said patiently as Teuchi raised and eyebrow. "I didn't expect her to have such a severe reaction, but her power is a devastating one. I will send a few of me tomorrow to help her get control- the major hurdle is out of the way."

Teuchi tossed the destroyed cleaver aside. He had known Naruto for years- almost all his life in fact. Ayame and Naruto were friends- when outside normal business hours. Naruto knew that the villagers disliked him, and would punish his friends if they knew he had any friens, and Teuchi appreciated Naruto'a digression. "Naruto- you know I trust you to keep Ayame safe if I ever leave the village?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Just... Keep her safe, alright?" Teuchi looked worried. "I don't want to lose her."

Naruto nodded, smiling slightly as he walked away. He was not planning on abandoning Ayame- she was one of two people he actually cared about anymore. And one of three people in the village he had a stake in.

At that thought, he sighed. Now, he thought, I just have to deal with Anko.

* * *

When he arrived in the training ground, Anko was pacing restlessly.

"'Sup."

Anko stopped, and just looked at him for a moment, before resuming her pacing. "Why did you show this power to me?"

Naruto blinked, and reached out with his telekinesis towards the metal spheres, now nice and cool. As they hovered towards him, he considered the question. "In all honestly?" The metal flowed into his pocket. "I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings."

The kunochi grinned. "Really?"

"Yeah." He sat down, and made the half-tiger handseal of confrontation. "I was careless. And now you have a similar sort of power... Wanna fight?"

Anko sighed happily, and snakes started to slither out of her sleeves. "Oh gaki- haven't you forgotten? You promised to show me how to do what you do."

"I said I would show you how to use it- not do what I do." Naruto stated calmly. "And since you are used to using chakra, a demonstration may be in order." He grinned, and stood up. "Lesson 1- Rise."

The ground cracked under his feet, and he vanished.

Anko swore. "Fuck Gaki! You're fast." She grinned. "But I can still feel you." She jumped out of the way as a crater appeared right behind her. "And I know you are not trying to hurt me."

"Nnnnnoooooo iiiii aaaammmm nnnnoooottt." The kid's voice sounded like he was all around her, as craters kept appearing throughout the field, and the pitch of his voice kept changing. "But I am right behind you."

Anko jumped into the air by reflex as something whizzed through the space that she occupied. It looked like it was made of glass, but it was moving too fast for her eye to get a fix. Another impulse came through, this time to throw a kunai with chakra enhancement, and Anko did so without a second thought.

The kunai hit something right in front of her, which shattered like glass construct.

"Huh." A Naruto stepped out of the forest. "Seems like chakra can interfere with Trance."

The Naruto who was standing almost where Anko used to be smiled. "Lesson 2- Trance."

Anko felt something fill the air around her, like an illusion, but, when she landed and disrupted her chakra, she didn't see a change. "What the-" Then she felt a sudden feeling that she really ought to anchor herself to something sturdy with her chakra.

"And finally, lesson 3- Burst." Naruto raised a hand.

The ground around her cracked, and began to float into the air like a series of dirty clouds- with Anko right in the middle of them. She pushed off the ground that she had latched onto, and sailed at the Gaki, kunai drawn- but then he raised his other hand, and she felt that weird feeling that she knew exactly what was about to happen.

It was like she was falling, backwards, and way faster than she would have liked. But Anko, having fallen great distances, drew on past experience to save her. Chakra blasted from her knees and elbows, twisting her so that she was now falling feet-first towards- a ball of dirt? She blasted through handseals for the Earth-to-Mud Jutsu, and, as she hit the ball, felt it turn to mud and cushion her fall.

Unfortunately, the whole ball turned to mud, and now she was stuck in it up to her neck.

Naruto winced- he knew how unpleasant being thrown into mud would be- and he didn't know if Anko was wearing underwear.

"WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS, YOU ARE DEAD!"

Probably not.

* * *

Naruto groaned as Anko glared at him, soaking wet and floating in midair. He tried to clean off all the mud, but even with his more refined telekinesis, the particle size was too small for him to grab it like he usually did. And a general gravity direction, like he used to lift the landscape, would only do so much. Mud was sticky.

So he dunked her in the river.

And then face-palmed, as he had no idea where that stupid-ass idea had come from. In the back of his mind, Kuri was laughing her ass off.

Now he had to deal with a soaking wet, pissed off Kunochi- and he still had no idea how her powers manifested.

"So..." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "How did you feel during the fight?"

"Well, at the end of it I had mud shoved up my-"

"Not that." Naruto snapped. "Some feeling or compulsion you didn't have before. Almost everything I did missed, and if I am right, I think know what power you've got."

She crossed her arms under her breasts. "Enlighten me gaki."

He grinned, and flicked a pebble at her- with his telekinesis, so the pebble flew at the back of her head from behind.

She tilted her head out of the way just before it hit her, and looked poleaxed. "What just happened?"

"You can see the future." Naruto deadpanned. "Not too far out, maybe a half-second? But with Jounin reflexes..."

Anko started grinning- and grinned wider when he put her down. "That is terrifying... For everyone else! Mwahahahahaha!"

Naruto grinned as he heard her laugh. She was quite pretty, if she wasn't glaring at him- oh, who was he kidding, she was attractive even then. Still, he had promised to teach her... "Do you have any questions?"

The madly laughing Kunochi stopped laughing. It was a rather abrupt transition. "Yes! What the fuck is 'Rise'? For that matter, what is 'Burst' or 'Trance'?"

Naruto looked around, and Anko felt him 'pulse' again. "No-one within a kilometer. Good..." He sighed. "This may take some explaining."

* * *

Several hours later, Anko had stopped asking questions. Well, mostly.

"In summary: Psi is just a different way of using the same energies that are in Chakra."

Naruto winced. "That is... Broadly correct?..."

"The Kyuubi is female- and your friend." This was said with even greater disbelief.

The boy nodded. "Only took the equivalent of 6 years- and no, I am still not going to tell you her name. She doesn't trust you."

"Fine, fine..." Anko winced. "Now, how do I turn it off?"

That question confused him. "Turn off your precognition?"

"Yes..." Anko's eyebrows were pressed tight together. "The feedback is not pleasant."

"Feedback?" Naruto asked, puzzled. Then it dawned on him. "Anytime you do something, it changes what future you see, so even now, you are just seeing more and more conflicting non-real futures... Damn that sounds confusing."

Anko nodded, now sweating slightly. "And painful."

Naruto stood up, and walked behind the sitting kunochi. "Just relax, and focus on your breathing... But you already knew that."

Anko glared at him, before doing what he suggested.

"Now, just feel." He extended his Trance into and through Anko, who sighed as the pressure began to lessen on her mind. "Feel how where I go calms. Feel the calm. Be the calm."

Anko sighed, and blushed slightly. Then she grinned lecherously. "You know gaki, this is the deepest any man has ever penetrated me."

Naruto froze for a few seconds as his mind filled in the relevant images. "Um... Right." Now he was fighting to keep the blush off his face, and trying not to give into the temptation of tweaking the nervous system of the kunochi beneath his hands. "I am going to pull out now, feel where I go through you and don't let it do anything."

"I never thought you were the commanding type, gaki." Anko purred as she felt his power trickle out of her. "Should I call you Naruto-sama?"

Naruto shut off his power abruptly, and took his hands off Anko's shoulders.

She whined in loss. "No! I was feeling everything! And it felt so good!"

Naruto twitched as he looked at Anko. She was covered in sweat, breathing heavily,many it didn't help that she was barely dressed in anything. "This day is going to be so damn long..." He muttered as she winked at him.

* * *

"So..." Anko drawled as the sun set, stretching her well-toned body to get some kinks out of it. "What's the plan gaki?"

Naruto was trying very hard not to look at her- she was a sexy kunochi, but she was also unpredictable. "Plan?"

"Yeah. The plan." Anko pulled back on her overcoat- she had taken it off just after the last time-skip started... For reasons only really known to her. "No-one hands out this sort of power without a plan or scheme." She grinned maniacally. "What's yours? Want to take over the world with some super-strong women?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Honestly? I just want to have a family that is safe."

Anko's jaw dropped. "You're doing this to pick up chicks?" She gave him an appeasing look. "Well, maybe in a few years."

Naruto resisted the urge to cover himself- he was fully clothed after all. "Not like that- I just..." He stopped, and considered it. "Okay, I guess that's true. But in any case, there are only three people that I want to have this sort of power."

"You know..." Anko said thoughtfully. "If you gave several Shinobi this power, Konoha would probably-"

"See it as a gift from a demon?" Naruto said sarcastically. "Anko, I don't know if this is a surprise, but I only liked this village when I was clueless and damaged. Since I can remember things, I am fully aware that the villagers have, with exactly four exceptions, attempted to do me direct, physical harm. I cannot stay here indefinitely, and if I had any children in the future, I would not want them to be born here."

Anko was flabbergasted. This was the kid who, for the last four years, had told all and sundry, at the top of his lungs, that he was going to be Hokage one day. He looked different than the kid she always associated with the name 'Naruto', mainly because he wasn't wearing the god-awful orange jumpsuits anymore. He was wearing dark blue Shinobi pants (taped up at he ankles for minimal noise), a dark orange shirt, and a jacket that was mainly a dark blue, but with an odd ripple-pattern of green and brown leaf-like shapes on it- and his ninja headband was around his neck, with the odd goggles she had seen on his forehead were most wore their headbands.

He only looked like Naruto if she mentally removed everything weird from her mental image of Naruto... And it helped a lot.

"Well gaki, I guess I'll help." She stopped smiling. "After all, most of the village hates me because of-"

"Orochimaru, the Snake Sanin." Naruto filled in, to her shock. "What? I was friends with the Hokage, and he loved to tell war stories. That, and I listen when I am around people- urg..." He groaned. "Sorry, shadow-clone download."

"What does the word 'download' mean?" Anko asked. "I haven't heard it before."

Naruto ignored the question, and rubbed his temples until the pain went away. "Right... I was telling you I am aware of how the villagers call you the 'Snake Whore'- and don't threaten to stab me with the kunai, I know how it feels to be hated by the village."

Anko sheepishly put the knife back in a pocket. "You said four people?"

"Three now." Naruto grimaced- he still had a throbbing headache. "Ayame, you due to the fact you snuck up on me, and Hinata Hyuuga."

"A ramen waitress, the awesomeness that is me, and a princess of the most stuck-up clan in the entire village since the Uchiha are effectively extinct?" Anko frowned. "My roommate was muttering to herself about keeping the 'demon brat' away from a Hyuuga..." She looked slightly sickened. "What did she do?"

"Nothing pleasant." Naruto didn't want to go into that topic at the moment. "Look, can you help me get her alone? She was one of the few people who was nice to me and I don't-"

There was a sudden shout of "YOUTH!" From the general direction of the Hokage Monument, and both psychers turned to see a sunset appear over the Monument.

"Goddamnit Maito Gai." Anko muttered.

"- I really don't want her to have to suffer the worst of this village." Naruto finished, as he tried to ignore the massive illusion.

"YOUTH!"

Anko shuddered. "... I really don't blame you." She smiled lecherously. "I'll help you, gaki, on one condition."

Naruto perked up. "Yes?"

"I'm coming along if the others come along." Anko put her hands on her hips. "We girls need to stick together!"

"..." He gave her a weird look before shrugging. "Sure. We will need to be careful though- and make preparations."

Anko grinned her manic grin. "Oh, we'll be careful- but we need to grab your princess first."

* * *

In the Hyuuga compound, Hinata sneezed.

* * *

 **End Chapter 5**

* * *

Please review- it helps persuade my muse not to raid my fridge.


	6. Chapter 6- The UnMaker

(A/N-start)

Many questions will be answered here.

Yes, really.

Enjoy!

I don't own Naruto or Psyren- or any other source material. If I did, I wouldn't be graduating college in s few months- I would be starting another degree.

(A/N-end)

* * *

"Knowledge is power, power equals energy, and energy equals mass. Small bookshops are just genteel black holes that know how to read."- The Narrator of Terry Pratchett's 'Guards Guards' on the subject of why small bookshop owners are often almost alien.

They often are.

* * *

 **Chapter 6- The UnMaker**

* * *

Melachee's Door is a decidedly devastating technique, which few could use- not because of it being very complex, but because the power requirements were insane. You had to imbue in the released psi several simple commands, then leverage that power to pull ambient power from the world, and repeat the process ad-nausem.

Being able to move a stone with your mind is one thing, but the sheer amount of power needed so that the Burst consumed everything that touched it AND grew outwards to hunt down other sources of power was beyond the reach of most beings.

Ever.

Ageha, the first person in history to use it and not be consumed by his own technique, had achieved this feat because he used his strength to leverage greater strength to both provide power and control rather than focusing on raw power. Doing so initially weakened him, but eventually had his simple power doing devastating deeds, destroying everything around him at a touch of his will, as he leveraged the power of worlds to do his bidding.

The commands for Melachee's door were, in fact, simple:

\- Consume ambient energy

\- Seek source of energy

\- Brainwash/assimilate energy

\- Repeat from start

These four commands cycled through the Burst so fast that controlling it was insanely difficult for most- as in it caused fatal aneurysms in seconds if the user tried to force the technique to do anything. Ageha got around is by two ways- first, by filling the air around him with his power, so that he could leverage his will upon the technique through this aura of power, and second, by implanting simple commands to the technique via said will.

Considering that a grapefruit-sized door took more power than most psychers ever saw or used over the course of their life to form in the first place, the knowledge of how to control the technique was almost useless.

* * *

In training ground number 7, as he waited for his teammates, Naruto focused intently on the air above his palm. A black sphere, the size of a marble, formed above his palm, tendrils or branches scythed out at lightning speed to snag bits of dust and matter out of the air. The sphere made an odd noise- not like a vacuum, but it deadened the world around it as light, sound, and matter was consumed and absorbed.

Naruto grinned in triumph, blood dripping down his face as he leveraged everything to form this tiny fragment of god-destroying power. He was getting there, eventually.

Then he could leave, and take those few he cared about with him. Hopefully.

* * *

Ayame woke up to the sound of a bird singing- which, as her headache was currently throbbing, died near-instantly as she glared at it. She felt her headache recede slightly, and saw a tiny silver shoot grow out of the bird's mouth as it's body shriveled under its feathers.

She turned to the plant she had killed yesterday, and instead of a small fern, there was a tiny silver tree, smaller than the size of the plant that had been within the pot.

"Oh Naruto..." She muttered. "What power did you give me?

* * *

Anko was not an unkind woman.

She had been a lively child, once, before Orochimaru preformed horrible experiments on her. And, to make matters worse, when she escaped from the snake-like clutches of the Sannin, the villagers in Konoha treated her like crap.

Any nice bits of her personality were shrouded under a layer of cynicism, sarcasm, and defensive behavior- mainly because the first person who had cared for her and provided any sort of affection she could recognize had experimented upon her and left her screaming in agony for days, and she really, REALLY didn't want to experience that ever again.

Naruto knew exactly how she felt about the other villagers. How they treated her, both behind her back and to her face- and he had to endure so much worse on a daily basis.

This is all being explained because, as a person, Anko had learned to be very direct and too the point- and despised people who exhibited the sort of behavior her roommate had engaged in. Specifically, torturing the victim and Jinchuuriki of the Nine-Tailed fox.

So it was without much aplomb that, the next day, Anko appeared, right in the middle of Kurenai's training with her Genin team, grabbed Hinata, and vanished in a body-flicker, leaving behind a note nailed on the nearest tree with a kunai.

 _Kurenai,_

 _I found out what you did, and we are going to have words later._

 _Oh, and I am taking the white-eyed Princess._

 _Be back later._

 _Kisses,_

 _Anko_

And there was a tiny chibi image of Anko tapping her foot in the corner of the paper.

Kurenai raised an eyebrow. She had known Anko for nearly a decade, and had never heard her say the phrase 'we are going to have words later'.

"Hey Kurenai-Sensei!" One of her Genin had walked up, his little dog running around his heels. Kiba looked concerned. "Where is Hinata?"

"I am concerned as well." Said her other Genin from right behind her. Kurenai had to force herself not to jump as she took a step to the side so that she could see both Genin.

Shino, her other Genin, was like the diametric opposite of Kiba. Where Kiba was brash, outgoing, and emotional, Shino was subdued, restrained, and absolutely controlled.

Shino also had a hive of insects living inside his body, like every single member of the Aburame clan (every member over three days anyway)... And that creeped her out.

"... My roommate stole her away for something." Kurenai said. "She does odd things sometimes, but Hinata will be fine."

"I am not so sure. Why, do you ask?" Shino said in a deadpan. "Because Anko's chakra signature felt... Unlike anyone I have ever tasted before."

That got Kurenai's attention she knew about the cursed seal. "How so?"

"Like it was under extreme control?" Shino shrugged. "The concept is difficult to explain to anyone who is not of my clan. Why, for you ask? Because my kikaichū provide a unique stimuli of how the-"

"Shut up Shino, we get it already!" Growled Kiba, showing his fangs as a sort of punctuation.

"-various energies in chakra intermix and function after being consumed." Shino continued, ignoring his teammate. "They had trouble digesting it, and that only works for the most stringently of controlled chakra."

Kurenai thought about that answer for a moment, then snapped her fingers. "Alright! Shino, Kiba- report to the Hokage's Tower and tell him that we might have a 'waking snake' event. He'll know what it means."

When they didn't move, she snapped a follow-up order.

"Now!"

They ran off at top speed as Kurenai body-flickered away, the world around her blurring before the Jutsu ended. She had vanished from training ground ten, and was now standing on the boundary of training ground 44: The Forest of Death. Ankh loved this place, and would usually retreat into it if threatened or bored.

"Why did you take Hinata, Anko?" She muttered as she stared into the dark woods, before she vanished in another body-flicker.

* * *

Teamwork drills.

Instead of doing a D-rank mission, which they got paid for, Team 7 was doing teamwork drills. Not being taught anything by their Sensei, not being taught how teamwork is a force-multiplier, but just drills.

They had been throwing a ball from one person to the next for hours. Literally hours of tossing the ball at random and trusting that their teammates would toss it to them rather than somewhere else.

The drill was, in theory, simple. The three of them would stand back-to-back, not touching each other, but fairly close. The person with the ball would turn to the middle of the circle, say who they were going to toss the ball to, and then toss that person the ball. It was a simple exercise that was supposed to build up trust, and so far, it was failing.

Sakura would only ever throw the ball to Sasuke, who would randomly toss it over his shoulder- and Sakura would punch Naruto if nessesary to keep him from catching the ball.

Naruto gave up after Sakura pulled a kunai on him, and just stood there, eye twitching every time the pink-haired fan girl said "Sauke-kun!~" in her sickeningly sweet voice.

Kakashi was leaning against a tree, reading his porn while this happened- as usual.

So when Anko appeared in a swirl of leaves, grabbed Naruto about the shoulders, yelled "I need a minion!", and body-flickered away, Naruto was as happy as could be.

Kakashi blinked, then shrugged. He wasn't going to deprive the psycho kunoichi of a plaything- especially if it was Naruto. Or Sakura. He really didn't like either of them- regardless of whoever the blond's father was.

The rest of Team 7 was confused, but knew enough to not to raise a fuss where Anko was concerned. It was a common D-Rank mission to clean up after someone tried to take revenge on her for something Orochimaru did to their son/father/brother/sister/daughter/mother. They needed mops for those jobs.

* * *

Hinata looked around the clearing that the kunoichi had dropped her in. It wasn't a training ground- she could tell by the lack of poles, and the chakra-engraved sign that would usually radiate enough presence to draw attention was conspicuously missing. She could see several buildings just behind some trees, but they seemed more overgrown than any villager would let their home become, even after a month away.

A couple hand-seals were enough to activate her Byakugan, and her perception of the area changed, going from a slightly-wider-than-usual depth of field to a greyscale view that provided her the ability to see in almost every direction at once while being able to see through objects.

To her eyes, there was a cloud of residual chakra in the general vicinity of where she had been placed- and a thin trail leading away. Hinata nodded- the chakra trail was as good as a fingerprint for most Jutsu, and that cloud / thin trail combo was a hallmark of the Body Flicker.

Now, all she needed to figure out, was 'why was she here?'

Anko reappeared in a surge of Chakra, carrying Naruto along.

That stopped Hinata's thought process. "Naruto?" She squeaked.

He looked at her, and smiled. "Hi Hinata! Did you get my letter?"

'A letter? He sent me a letter!' Hinata fainted, a slight smile on her face.

* * *

Naruto caught her gently with his telekinesis, then with his arms, and used his power to force a chair or sofa-like shape from the earth.

"No endurance at all. Amirite?" Anko was snickering again.

He placed the girl on the grass-covered protrusion, and made her comfortable. "Yeah... She has got to stop doing that." He turned to Anko. "Can you get Ayame now?"

Anko grinned, and gave him a thumbs-up, teeth glinting slightly. "Super-Sexy Special Jounin Anko Away!" She vanished in a body-flicker.

Naruto rubbed his temples. "She really needs to stop hanging around bushy-brow... The eyebrows are rubbing off on her."

Hinata stirred slightly.

"Hinata..." He whispered in her ear. "Wake up..."

"Wha?" She looked slightly out of it, then snapped awake, pale eyes staring at him. "Naruto?*"With a sigh, she fainted again.

With a woosh, and flow of leaves, Anko reappeared in the clearing, carrying Ayame over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Ms. Miratashi... If you don't put me down right now, I will figure out a way to make your next dango experience with ANY restaurant in the entire land of fire a living Hell." Ayame's voice was perfectly calm, and the grass around them began to wilt.

Anko dropped Ayame like the girl was on fire, and turned back to Naruto. She swayed slightly as she put her hands on her hips. "So, gaki- how're we going to do this?"

Ayame picked herself up off the ground, and, while brushing dirt off her clothes, looked at Hinata. "Why is she here, and what's going on?"

"... Ayame, can you wait until she wakes up?" Naruto asked, exasperated.

Ayame tapped her foot for a moment, then nodded. "Fine. Remember- we may be friends, but I didn't ask to be able to grow tiny silver plant-things."

"Um..." Naruto looked very, very concerned by that point. "I think we need an expert, because I have no idea what that power is, and the only thing that sounds like it is very, very dangerous."

The ramen waitress nodded slowly. "I figured-"

"No, I mean 'the last person to have this sort of power was nearly a god' sort of dangerous." He explained, running a hand through his hair nervously. "I am out of my depth here."

Anko snorted, and was about to say something, when Hinata stirred.

"What's going on?" She asked, somewhat blearily, as she sat up, and blinked, and looked at Anko and Ayame. Then she blushed as she saw Naruto. "Um... H-Hi N-Naruto-k-k-kun... W-Where ar-re we?"

Everyone felt the wave of pressure that briefly lit up the clearing. "The Uchiha district, apparently." He glanced at Anko. "Why did you bring us here? I thought we were going to be in the Forest of Death."

Anko grinned widely. "Well, I knew that the Hokage and other Jounins knew that I liked the Forest-with-an-ominous-name, and that the tower is, by law mine. So when I usually want some alone time, I go there- it's relaxing, and they know where I am. But they also know I hated the Uchihas, and avoided this place like the plague. Of course, then they were all killed off by Itachi, but I still didn't go here normally. No reason to do so. Few ever visit the district anyway, and the few who do come here just walk through the center of the district, looking for thieves. Therefore, I thought, if I wanted to find a place to hide and not be found immediately, I would go here- a hidden Uchiha training ground."

Naruto blinked as the girls looked confused. "That's clever."

Anko bowed. "Thanks gaki."

"In any case, I think my grandparents should be able to explain my plan better than I can." The jinchuuriki pulled out a scroll from a hidden inside pocket, and unfurled it in a single, smooth movement.

The design on the inside of the scroll lit up with released chakra, and a pulse of glass-like psi expanded out into a dome around the four, and a pair of clocks appeared in the air above them. As the dome darkened and a clock slowed down, The light from outside took on unreal aspects, as tiny details flashed, and the world dimmed as the sky shifted from the blue of a clear day to the deep red of a blood moon.

Ayame hugged his shoulders as one clock slowed to nearly zero. "I hope you know what you're doing Naruto." She whispered.

"Me too." He muttered.

The crystalline flower bloomed, and the nearly-invisible spikes caught all four in their foreheads.

* * *

The Horizon stretched away above the gawking people, and eventually faded into the distant haze of hundreds of miles of atmosphere.

"W-a Where ar-e we?" Hinata asked, still swaying slightly due to proximity with Naruto. She really had a problem.

"Inside Naruto's mind." Said a voice right behind them.

Everyone whirled around, and Naruto yelled "Tyrant Grandma!"

The tall, floating woman sighed, rolled her eyes, and lifted her arms gingerly. "Alright, but no tackling."

Naruto vanished, and reappeared hugging the woman.

Anko felt she had to point out something. "Your mouth doesn't move when you talk."

The black-haired man beside her nodded. "She can't talk. Every muscle atrophied from years of floating in a buoyant gel, and her Rise is the only thing that lets her move at all. But enough about us..." He grinned. "Who are you three?"

|"His future mates perhaps?"| The rumbling voice sounded like it was coming from everywhere around them, and the three looked around in confusion. |"At two of them I recognized from the Kit's memories... I'm up here."|

The three kunoichi looked up, and blanched as they realized what they were seeing. The head of a massive fox, easily larger than the average house, was grinning at them from above the tree line. It's deep red fur highlighted against the sun like a halo while red, slitted eyes glowed in the dark.

|"Primates."| The Kyuubi scoffed. |"Never look up."| She watched the new arrivals for a few seconds, until she got bored, and walked away, surprisingly quiet for a few hundred tons of fox-demon.

"Ok, yeah. Now, I am not a ninja." Stated Ayame. "But if the Nine-Tailed Fox is in Naruto's mind-"

Suddenly there were two hands covering her mouth. The heterochromatic twins who had been standing near the black-haired man had moved so quickly it was questionable whether they had moved at all. "Think carefully." They almost sang in unison. "Naruto is over there, hugging his great-many times grandmother. Do you really want to make the same mistake as the villagers that would gut him like a fish?"

Ayame nodded, and the twins removed their hands. "How is the fox inside his mind?"

"He's a tailed-beast-container." Said the black-haired man, shrugging. "I think your language has a specific word for people like him-"

"Jinchuuriki." Offered Anko.

"-yes, that." The man frowned- the word quite literally meant 'the power of human sacrifice'. "In any case, Ku-"

 **"THEY HAVE NOT YET EARNED THE RIGHT TO HEAR MY NAME!"** Growled the fox. **"The Kit may tell them if they prove fit to be part of his family."**

The floating woman flicked the air, and the fox-demon yelped. "None of that Fluffy. You should be nice."

"But my name is precious!" Exclaimed the Kyuubi. **"And I will outlive all the other apes, so what's the point in letting them know?"**

"You told us." The black-haired man pointed out. "Back when we still had bodies and you were just a kit yourself."

That got Hinata's attention. "You don't have bodies? Demons! Spirits!" Her hands began to glow. "Stay away from me! I will not let you have my supple, virgin flesh!" She grabbed Ayame, and pulled the girl behind her "Nor Hers!"

"Don't be so foolish, blind-girl." The hovering woman snapped. "We are not spirits."

"Well..." The dark-skinned twin considered it. "Supernatural powers, a lack of a physical body... Sounds like spirits to me."

The light-skinned twin slapped her upside the head. "We are not spirits! We are mental imprints of psi the originals left behind before passing back through the dimensional barrier."

The floating woman sighed, and rolled her eyes. "If you two are going to start bickering AGAIN, I am going to take the Bald Wig out of sight and have kinky sex there."

The twins grabbed onto the man's arms almost instantly. "It's our turn this time!"

The white-armored being floated down from the sky, moving for the first time, as it patted the twins on their heads.

"Fine." The floating woman turned and began moving to Naruto. "He still has trouble with manipulating variable-volume structures. I'll leave you three to talk with the newcomers. Kinky sex can wait- we are still in time dilation, after all."

Said newcomers were somewhat poleaxed at the interaction. It was like watching a family- albeit one with a very odd dynamic.

The black-haired man grinned as the taller woman floated over to Naruto- who was currently engrossed in turning his right arm to steam. "So, ladies... What can I do for you today?"

Anko walked up to him seductively, and pulled out a kunai- only to have the weapon fall apart in her hand, sliced apart at dizzying speeds by a black scythe on a rope that seemed to grow out of the body of the dark twin while the light one was suddenly holding her by the head in a grip of iron.

 _"He is OURS."_ They intoned in concert.

Anko swallowed, and carefully lifted her hands up above her head level. "I don't know who you are, but if you lay hands on a shinobi of Konoha there will be repercussions."

Dear sweet leaping monkeys the twins eyes were glowing. _"Be very careful little mind- you may be able to see the future blearily, but we can see EVERYTHING INSIDE YOUR HEAD."_

"Ladies, let her go." The man gently moved the twins away from the kunoichi. "Sorry about that- the three-way relationship we have is fairly unique, and she really enjoys it."

Hinata, who was now shaking with a mixture of fear, rage, indignation, and confusion, had to add 'looking somewhat disturbed' to the mix when she activated her Byakugan and her vision didn't change. "Where are we? Who are you? Why are we here?"

The man sat down, pulling the twins along with him. They squeaked and glared, but did not resist. "I am Ageha Uzumaki, and these are my wives; Abyss-" the dark twin waved, "- Amamiya,-" the pale twin smiled slightly, "- and Oh-Seven is working with Naruto."

The women all looked over at Naruto, who was doing something to a rope. He wasn't touching it, and it was twisting in midair like some sort of snake.

"I am Naruto's Great-many-times grandfather." He rubbed the twins shoulders while he talked, causing the pale one to blush slightly and the dark one to blush a lot (and make some very interesting noises). "And I am here to explain Naruto's plan, since he is really bad at doing that himself." He chuckled momentarily. "Like I used to be."

Ayame sat on the grass. "So... What's this plan?"

"In order?" Ageha ticked off his fingers. "Master control of his Psi and Chakra- which are technically the same thing, just different ways of using the inherent power. Acquire enough funds and skills that he can retire from being a ninja before he reaches Jounin rank, and finally build a home that is hidden/protected from the predicted shit-storm that should happen within the next ten years or so. Oh, and it should be also hidden from the hidden villages." He shook his head. "The village hidden in the whirling tides was not supposed to be some sort of fort- it was supposed to be an alternative, away from the warring tribes. Evidently, it failed to remain a refuge."

"It became too powerful." Anko said, sadly. "Orochi-teme taught me about their village. Apparently their mastery of sealing was so great, and their chakra construct Jutsu were so powerful that, during the third ninja war, the Lands of Stone, Lightning, and Rain all got together to crush the hidden village. They sent almost all their ninja, over 3,000 in total, and they met up with more than 8,000 Samurai and monks. The Third Hokage refused to send any Shinobi to harass the attacking force, and a month later we had refugees from Uzushiogakure in our city. Unfortunately, they opted to fight with us against the Hidden Stone village, and were specifically targeted by both of their Jinchuuriki. Kushina Uzumaki was the last survivor, I think... But she died when then Kyuubi attacked." Anko took off her headband, and looked at it. "I am not sure why Konoha didn't come to the aid of our allies."

Hinata looked surprised. "I read about that in the clan archives. Since the Uzumaki 'corrupted' everyone who was sent to learn their method of Sealing Jutsu, the Third made a decision to 'prevent possible future threats against the village', and subsequently sent out several black-ops missions." She blushed as everyone sitting looked at her. "My clan is rather large, and we keep our own records... We have to, since the Caged Bird seal is so damned important." Hinata clapped her hands over her mouth after she realized what she just said. "C-Can you all f-forget I said that?"

The light-skinned twin, Amamiya, looked up. "No. What seal is so important that it is the reason a family would keep their own records of black ops in their own village?"

Ageha put his hand on her back. "In many ways it doesn't matter. Naruto should be able to easily deal with whatever it is. He might have trouble with the nudist's tattoo, but that is something we can potentially deal with in here."

Anko stopped moving as her mind digested that. "You can remove my curse seal?"

Abyss, the dark-skinned twin, looked at her curiously, as though she was some sort of interesting specimen. "Why would we do that?"

Her fingernails dug divots in the earth as Anko tried not to overreact. "It is all I have wanted for years! To have this Kami-damned mark removed, and to be free of Orochi-teme."

Ayame leaned over, and patted Anko's back. The kunochi looked like she was about to cry.

"Don't be overcome with emotion- it won't encourage us to do anything about your little tattoo." Amamiya stated. "We are constructs, and we only have so much power as it is. About a third of our combined power was burned trying to heal Naruto, and to remove that seal we would need at least three-quarters of our total might."

"Heal him?" Hinata asked carefully. "Who hurt him?"

Abyss laughed ruefully. "Almost everyone who could get away with it." She raised a hand, and seal after seal appeared in the air around them.

Then Amamiya began to name them. "Growth-inhibitors, regeneration-inhibitors, a very inventive seal that constantly leaks a nasty viral mutagen into the boys system, several different tracking seals, several electrodynamic dampening seals (simple but effective ones that make neurons slower and chemical processes less efficient), a negative-reinforcement seal that we used to use to train sharks to stay away from fishing inlets around Uzu, and this." She poked a seal that seemed more convoluted than the rest. "I am not entirely sure what it is-"

"-and my theory is insane." Abyss interjected- which sounded odd, as they had the same voice (although Abyss sounded slightly more emotional). Then she looked around at the confused women. "Well, it is a crazy idea, but I just broke it down! See this part?" A segment of the seal highlighted itself. "This is a storage matrix, which leads into this part-" another section lit up, "which duplicates the material in the storage matrix (rather than pull it out) and extrapolates it. It's a fractal pattern-set, and can self-reorganize right? But the worst part is this bit." A shield- like protrusion of the seal was highlighted. "This is targeting various proteins in Naruto's body, and swapping them for whatever that fractal is extrapolating. It's insane- and shouldn't work, but it is. And it's tattooed in ink, rather than blood like the others."

Ageha nodded. "And it is insane! If that seal did everything you said, it would mean that someone put this seal on Naruto with the deliberate intention of forcing him to look like someone else. That does not even mention the ludicrous number of side effects!" Then, almost to himself. "And we can't remove it like the others, since it is in ink."

"The Fourth." Breathed Ayame. She looked over at Naruto, his blue eyes and almost too-bright blond hair standing out above all else.

Hinata got it immediately. "He's the jinchuuriki of the nine-tails, and the adults all know it. Too many people hate him. So if someone wanted Naruto to be loved- if only a little bit, and they could make him look like someone else..."

"Then why not use the Fourth Hokage's DNA to do it?" Anko concluded. "After all, the village loved the Fourth, and Naruto looks like a tanned and whiskered child-clone of him."

Abyss began to ask "Who is the-" before Amamiya shushed her.

Oh-Seven's annoyed voice cut off the continued conversation. "Try something else! What did I tell you, child? If something doesn't work, try something different!"

"I am! I can't compress it enough to get a good grip!" Naruto shouted back.

"Keep trying!" Oh-Seven flicked a finger, and her own rope disintegrated. "Remember your forces! Which one provides the rope strength and flexibility?"

They could see the understanding blossom in Naruto's expression. His right hand began to glow slightly blue, and he concentrated on it.

"Nice kid." Ageha said, almost conversationally. "And has a natural grasp on pinpoint positioning of his constructs, but has trouble generating a gradient of more than twenty-five times local gravity in a one hundred cubed meter volume."

Seeing the confused looks, he clarified. "It's a way of measuring the amount of power someone can use for telekinesis. Burst and Trance can be mixed to allow a psi user to..." He trailed off when he saw Hinata's expression of confusion. "Ok, here's the rundown-"

Five minutes later, Ageha returned to his original idea.

"Burst and Trance can allow the psi user to utilize telekinesis, and move things with their mind. Unlike grasping something with your arm, the telekinetic field allows the user to bend space slightly- enough to make things fall along a path the user sets."

More confused looks.

Amamiya groaned. "Remember how long it took Naruto to understand this topic?"

Abyss rubbed her temples. "Months. Just give them the short version of gravity."

Ageha rolled his eyes. "Fine. So, you know when you drop something, it moves downwards faster and faster until it hits something?"

Three nods.

"This is because the universe is like a rubber sheet- yes?"

Hinata timidly lowered her hand. "What's rubber?"

Ageha's facepalm left himself with a fairly large mark on his forehead. "Let me try that again. Imagine the universe of everything is a tablecloth."

Three nods, and a relieved sigh- he wouldn't have to use a different analogy.

"Now, you have four people hold the corners of the tablecloth nice and taut, so that it can hold things. If you place a small rock on it, what happens?"

"The tablecloth flexes." Ayame volunteered.

"Correct! Now, if you place a heavy weight on it, it will bend the tablecloth more, right? And the rock, being lighter than the weight, will slide towards the heavier object if the two are close enough."

Three nods.

"Now, everything is on a... Giant tablecloth, and it bends. All the time. Things fall towards other things because the tablecloth is bending enough for them to move, right?"

Slower nods.

"Now, Naruto can create bends in the tablecloth of the universe using his mind. But some things, like your ninja wire, and the ropes it is woven into, can withstand more force than he can exert to crush them."

The slightly faster nods stopped as there was a, well, it wasn't really a sound. It felt like their ears had just popped.

Then Oh-Seven swore. "Well, fuck." She was fine, but Naruto was missing his right arm below the elbow, and there was a divot in the ground where he had been standing. Said divot continued, in an almost perfectly straight line, and continued through tree after tree for miles, making a slightly bigger hole each time.

"Naruto!" Hinata jumped up, and ran over to her crush, who was looking mildly surprised at his now lack of a hand- and slowly charring arm. "I have a healing salve- here! Use it!" She almost thrust the container into his remaining hand, but stopped when he spoke.

"Hinata, please back away." His skin began to peel, and bleed. "Quickly. I am in no danger, but this still hurts."

The white-armored construct moved between Naruto and Hinata, and melted into a white paste, which covered the kunoichi like a second skin.

"Don't try to remove Nemesis Q." Oh-Seven seemed unconcerned, but insistent. "Naruto attempted to weaken the electro-chemical bonds between atoms in the rope, and did so with a little too much effort."

Ageha's eyes widened in surprise, then he whistled. "Damn Naruto- when you mess up, you do not mess around."

"T-Thanks, Gr-anpa." Naruto slowly lifted into the air, and drifted over to the river, dropping fingers and skin along the way. The three newcomers watched as he dunked himself in the river, and it began to turn red. After less than a minute (but far too long judging from Hinata's expression), he rose back out of the water, skin still flaking off, but at least not bleeding from the eyes anymore. His had had apparently regenerated in the water. "Even in here, that hurts. So, Gramps, what happened?"

Ageha grinned. "Remember our lessons on radiation?"

"Yes." Naruto took off his shirt (to the enjoyment of Ayame and Hinata). "Heavy and light rads, I remember all..." He trailed off for a second as the memories came back. "Did I just soak myself in free protons?"

"And neutrons and electrons." Oh-Seven agreed. "Don't do that in the outside world. You can regenerate in here- it's all a construct- but out there, until you can generate infinite-g fields and form the true Heavenly Carnage technique, you should not do... Whatever you want to call that." She waved a hand at the now-slightly-glowing trench and subsequent holes.

Naruto grinned. "I think I'll call it the UnMaker."

Ageha turned his attention back to Ayame. "Now, young lady, Naruto told me that you have a power that only was heard about in the stories we told him. Show me."

The ramen waitress looked uncertain for a few seconds, before turning to glare at an unobtrusive patch of ground. Something passed from her to the spot, and a silver branch sprouted from the soil, exploding outwards into a massive, spiky tree with a multitude of buds on the outermost branches- but no leaves.

"Fuck!" Ageha swore, as his body turned to black smoke. "Emergency containment! Now!" Black spheres popped into existence around the tree, digging into the ground around it as it grew, and began to slow down as it encountered the spheres.

It was already as big as the largest trees along the edges of the clearing.

Abyss and Amamiya erupted into steam as they move in tandem, Abyss sending black cables to Amamiya who directed them into a bladed net, which bit into the silver tree.

Oh-Seven melted into Nemesis Q, which formed into a bone-white armor around her. That was all anyone was able to see as the air around her began to shimmer, and light warped around her. She hurt to look at, and when branches touched her, they shattered into pinpoints of liquid silver and vanished.

After completing the net, which diced up the tree as it tried to grow through it, Amamiya left Abyss to main the net while she approached the pale and shaking Ayame. "Pull it back in!" The steaming woman commanded. "Feel the connection, and pull it back!"

Ayame swallowed, closed her eyes, and reached out with both hands, her nose beginning to bleed with the effort.

Slowly, the tree stopped growing, and melted into a liquid stream that flowed into Ayame like a river. Once it and all been absorbed, she looked almost radiant. "Wow." She gasped. "That felt really, really good."

Ageha, still wreathed in black, his eyes two pits on a dark night, dropped down to earth, spheres still orbiting around him. "Oh-Seven, why don't you tell the story of Amagi Miroku?"

As the eye-twisting distortion stopped, and the white armor melted away from her elegant form, Oh-Seven looked sad. "My brother and I were both able to use our power from an early age. And..." Her voice trailed off.

Abyss came up behind her, hugged her, and stopped steaming. "Use the poem. It's easier."

On-Seven sighed. "It is never an easy story, Hallucination of Insanity." She grinned slightly as Abyss glanced away in mock anger at her nickname. "But my story is not pleasant." She drifted down, like a leaf upon the wind, and sat down on the grassy turf. "Once upon a time, there was a pair of orphaned children- twins, each with a very special gift. One could move things without touching them if she wanted, while the other could make tiny golden flowers bloom. They enjoyed spending time in the fields around the orphanage, and delighted in making flower crowns for all who they could find. Many days would end with the orphanage full of kings and queens, all with crowns of flowers the two picked.

Then, one day, men came to the orphanage looking for 'special' children. They gave a simple test- four cards face-down on the table before a child, who had to pick the star three times in a row.

Neither of them wanted to leave the orphanage- it was nice, and they would never want to be without the other. So they picked any card except the star.

Hundreds of times they picked every card except the star.

The next time they woke up, both twins were caged. The men knew, and wanted to find out why they could pick every card except the star.

One of the twins, feeling the despair of the others being tested within the fortress, stopped responding. She stopped testing, thinking that if she stopped answering the questions, they would let her be. They tried lies, but had waited a little too long, and she knew the lies for what they were.

The brother was told that if he did the tests, he would be released, along with his sister. He complied, and they learned a lot.

So much that the people in charge decided that they could never let any of the test subjects go. Ever.

More than a decade passed. The brother began to talk to the sky whenever he could- talking and listening to another source of lies, while his sister was placed in a jar and kept alive by sheer stubbornness of her own will.

Eventually, the brother was able to take advantage of a scientist who felt sorry for the test subjects, and broke out- slaughtering all the normal people there, save the one who released him.

He then embarked on a journey of gaining power that would leave billions dead in his wake- until my drifters caught up to him in the future, and derailed his plans in the past."

Oh-Seven wiped away a potential tear. "Amagi Miroku never really stopped though, and a few decades later we had to kill him. His power was the same as yours, child." She looked at Ayame. "It is addictive, the consuming of life, and the day he broke out, he became a shell- maintained by his power. Now, what do you chose to do with this power, waitress?"

The clocks within the barrier synced, and the barrier dissipated, to the relief of those within. Hinata's nose immediately began to leak blood, as did Ayame's- although the waitriss's nosebleed stopped after a few seconds.

"Whoo, that was intense." Anko cracked her neck. "How long were we in there?"

"Subjectively?" Naruto stretched. "Maybe three weeks- two at the least. Out here? Fraction of a second."

Hinata's nose kept bleeding. "Um... N-Naruto? Can-n I-"

He pulled down a sleeve. "Sure Hinata."

Her nosebleed got worse. "T-Thanks..." Gently, she took his arm, and bit into it. Raw power flooded her, and she swooned, her body healing faster than normally possible as massive amounts of chakra filled her. She took her mouth of the Uzumaki's arm, and the bite mark sealed over so quickly she would have doubted it was even there- except for the scar-like bite mark and the blood around her mouth. Carefully, she licked it up, and moaned. "Wow, that feels nice..."

Naruto wiped the excess blood off, and looked around. "Now, we can start training-" He stopped when he felt Anko's hand on his shoulder.

"First, Naruto, you are going to explain to me why you didn't fight back against Kakashi and Kurenai." She wasn't angry, but she was fairly focused on this.

"Anko, if I fought back, what would have happened?" He asked.

"Um..."

"Nothing good." He scowled. "As a Genin, our superiors have near carte-blanche to do what they need to do in terms of training us. Most don't take advantage of it, but some can... And I don't have enough resources to leave the village yet." He tapped the ground, and drew up a line of golden dust that attached to the tip of his finger. "If I fought back, that could be construed as 'assaulting a superior officer'. If I did so using my Psi, well, I am aware that there are factions of villagers and Shinobi that still hate me, and would cry 'the demon is escaping' fast enough." He shrugged. "All I need to do is bear it for now... But as soon as I can, I am gone." He smiled slightly. "And I hope some of you choose to come with me. I don't want you to be casualties of some war... But you do not have to come with me if you don't want to, especially knowing the score."

Anko bit her lip in thought as Hinata and Ayame both hugged him.

"Fine. I'll come- but you need to remove my cursed seal."

Naruto nodded as he held the girls. "Deal!"

Hinata let go, and, blushing heavily, poked her fingers together. "Um... I'll come if..." Her voice trailed off as Naruto hugged her, and whispered a few words in her ear.

Ayame waited for Hinata to sag onto the ground, her brain overheating quite a bit if the heat coming from her face was any judge. "Naruto, my condition is..." She looked at Hinata, then at Naruto, and smirked. "We get that seal on your head removed, and you give me what you agreed to give Hinata."

Naruto looked slightly concerned, but agreed. "I hope this works smoothly."

Anko slapped him on the back. "Oh, it won't- but almost no plans do. So... Training?"

He nodded. "First steps for controlling Rise outside the mind are centered around how you feel your body-"

* * *

In the forest of death, also known as Training Ground 44, several teams of ANBU searched frantically for Anko Mitarashi, and the Hyuuga Genin she may or may not have kidnapped.

The giant centipedes, giant spiders, larger-than-average Tigers, giant leeches, and other various horrors took exception to the unknown people in their home. Many ANBU needed to clean their clothes that night.

* * *

 **End Chapter 6**

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Please review- I will answer all questions and concerns if I can, and it helps encourage my muse.


	7. Chapter 7- Delegation and Economics

(A/N- start)

Huh... Only two reviews... Oh well, guess I won't release this chapter.

Psyche!

Anyway, I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any other source material. Wish I did- I'd be rich, and you would be reading this in a manga instead of on a fanfiction website.

Enjoy!

(A/N- end)

* * *

"I'm hilarious and you will quote everything I say."- Nappa from DBZ Abridged

* * *

 **Chapter 7- Delegation and Economics**

* * *

The Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, had a problem. Well, to be more specific, he had several problems- he was still aging, he did not have a named successor, he was fairly certain he had some form of lung cancer (from smoking his pipe all the time), he could feel his liver slowly giving up, and he was having trouble with his... Y'know, let's just say he had a lot of problems.

Being an old ninja came with problems, after all.

However, his current problem liked the color orange and had whisker-marks. Whatever power the boy had acquired from the Uzumaki heritage scroll, it caused his crystal ball to white out while trying to watch the child- but no ANBU could feel anything that was particularly off if he set a physical surveillance team on the child.

They were, however, plagued with bad luck (branches breaking without warning, slightly mis-aiming their tree-jumping, etc.) and almost always lost the boy.

Even his tracking seal was no longer working- and that had been a devil to tune in the first place.

This fact was not a particularly bad problem though- he could always tell Kakashi to make sure that Naruto was injured at one point (whereupon he would drop by the hospital, and apply the seal while Naruto was knocked out by enough drugs to kill a platoon), or have the ANBU squad collect the child so that a seal may be reapplied during the night.

No, what was a problem was that Anko Mitarashi had walked into his office carrying a tied up and pissed off Kurenai Yuhi- and then said that the Jounin had attempted to torture Naruto so that he would 'never set eyes on any woman again'.

Now, Sarutobi had okayed the 'humility training' for Naruto- he had shown to be too bright, smarter than he should have been, and too powerful during the Genin test. Too independent- and sealing away his mind now might be disastrous. By the Hokage's estimation, Naruto should be able to easily kill any Jounin with that 'burning metal line' attack that Kakashi had told the Jounin about during the weekly debriefing- especially if they didn't see it coming.

The Jinchuuriki needed to either look up to those who were superior in rank, otherwise they began to get ideas. Like what happened to the two Jinchuuriki that used to belong to the Stone Hidden Village- both ran away and became wandering ninja because they were allowed to grow too much. Or the Jinchuuriki of the Sanbi- he became Mizukage (Water-Shadow), and started purging bloodlines from the surrounding Land of Water.

From the Hokage's perspective, no Jinchuuriki could have too much power- for the sake of the village if nothing else.

But since the forbidden scroll had been sealed, well things had changed too much. Naruto didn't want to be Hokage anymore, it seemed, and had found a way to buy more clothes than most of the shops allowed- something Sarutobi was thankful for (after all, the neon orange clothes were not very effective ninja clothing), but still... He was supposed to be dumb! Naive! Childish!

But that did not excuse Kurenai from trying to neuter the boy. He was the last Uzumaki, and only an Uzumaki could hold the Kyuubi for long. A crippled, sterile Jinchuuriki would be of less use than a crippled one after all.

The old man got up from his chair in a creaking of bones, and walked over to the large window that looked over the village. Maybe it was time to get some more potential Jinchuuriki ready... "Mouse!"

An ANBU with a mask that had been styled to look like a mouse's face appeared to his left. "Hokage-sama?"

"Contact Danzo. I have need of his... Services."

"At once, Hokage-sama." The ANBU disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Rat!"

A slightly different ANBU appeared. "By your command, Hokage-sama."

"Get Inoichi. He should be done with Kurenai by now."

This ANBU bowed. "By your leave, Hokage-sama." Rat vanished in another swirl of leaves.

The old man pulled out his pipe, and filled it with tobacco. Then, with a gentle exhalation of fire chakra, he lit it, and took a nice, deep pull.

Then someone knocked on his window. He opened it with a hand, and let in Kakashi. "Good morning Kakashi. How goes the humility training?"

The jounin looked nervous. "Not as well as we hoped. Head trauma seems to heal faster than anything else, and Naruto seems to get smarter ever day."

Sarutobi removed the pipe and blew out the smoke into an ominous cloud. "Any other indication of the powers he displayed during the bell test?"

"No." Kakashi was frustrated. "Nothing out of the ordinary. He seems very fast for a Genin, even when doing mundane chores, but the only Jutsu I have seen him use has been the shadow clone... And they seem different."

The old man sat back in his chair. "Really? Maybe the humility training made him forget the skills he learned from that damned scroll... What do you mean by different?"

"No visible range limitation." That was a major flaw of the normal shadow clone- they could only move within twenty meters of the original without popping. "And they seemed as smart as he was, working coherently together when separated." Another oddity, as the normal shadow clone got dumber the more clones someones chakra was distributed between.

"Did you memorize the head seals?" Sarutobi asked, knowing how Kakashi liked to utilize his Sharingan eye.

"I can't." Kakashi growled. "He looked like a miniature sun every time I tried. And when I don't use it the only handseal I can see is that cross-finger seal that ends the seal cascade."

The Hokage considered this information. "If he appears to defer to his other teammates, then stop the humility training. If he becomes more independent, start it up again. And your other students?"

"The Uchiha shows some talent in ninjutsu. His fire and lightning affinities are coming along nicely- but no sign of the Sharingan yet." Kakashi pulled out his 'Icha Icha' novel. "That's to be expected though- it can only activate if he thinks he is in true mortal danger."

"And Sakura?"

Kakashi shrugged. "She has almost no chakra, but excellent control. I have been instructing her on capacity-building chakra exercises."

"That's it?"

"Should there be more?" Kakashi asked. "She is, after all, the daughter of a civilian, and we have no contract for tutoring."

Sarutobi nodded. He knew how the system worked- it played towards his benefit in his time. Still, to see such a lack of effort... Well, he was Kakashi. "I understand. Now, I have other matters to attend to."

Kakashi, still reading his book, nodded, and walked out the window.

Inoichi, one of his most trusted (and experienced) interrogators, walked in with two ANBU. Each ANBU was carrying a kunoichi- one with Anko over his shoulder, the other carrying Kurenai. "Hokage-sama, I have some... Interesting result of the interrogation."

Anko was giggling.

"Report."

Anko was placed in one of the seats in front of the Hokage.

"Anko Mitarashi, Special Jounin." Inoichi recited. "Kidnapped (?) one of Kurenai's students yesterday. Our search teams were unable to find them for four hours- and only found them when the group, which consisted of Naruto Uzumaki, Anko Mitarashi, and Hinata Hyuuga were all outside the ramen stand 'Ichiraku Ramen', eating take-out." The mind-diver looked uncomfortable. "Upon being found by search team 3, she appeared to be very cheerful, and told them to follow her. She then proceeded to head to the Hokage tower, where she and the search team ran into Kurenai Yuhi, Jounin. Upon seeing the Jounin, Anko moved faster than she had been recorded moving, and tied up Kurenai within half a second, immobilizing her with a mix of shibari (primarily Kinbaku-bi), and standard Shinobi restraint techniques." Inoichi paused, and held up a sheaf of pictures. "We took photographs. It was... Informative."

The Hokage, in a single movement, took the photos, hid them about his person, and motioned for Inochi to continue.

"Seeing this, team 3 signaled for teams 7 and 11 (who were within eyeshot) to assist them, and promptly attempted to take Anko into custody. Despite not moving at the extreme speeds recorded earlier, she managed to evade capture while carrying Kurenai, up until the point where she managed to get to your office and accused the Jounin of several crimes- specifically, trying to prevent the continuation of a valuable bloodline via a traumatic experience... Since the victim in question is a Jinchuuriki, any physical attempt at sterilization would have been useless (as per Naruto's medical file)."

Kurenai glared at Anko from her tied-up position on the floor.

"It was at this point that teams 7 and 3 managed to restrain her- but you are aware of that, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi nodded. He had seen this bit.

"After removing both Anko and Kurenai to the T&I cells, I attempted to preform a surface scan on both Kunochi. Kurenai responded well, and, unfortunately, she is, in fact, guilty of attempting to inflict debilitating psychological trauma on the last Uzumaki."

"Kurenai- what is your reasoning for this?" Sarutobi asked. He didn't shout- he didn't need to for this. "ANBU, remove her gag."

The cat-masked ANBU took the gag out of the Jounin's mouth, and she stared at the Hokage for a few moments before answering. "He gave one of my Genin a note. I had to make sure he didn't spend any more time near them than nessesary!"

"Hokage-sama, she attempted an illusion first- a Hell-Viewing Justu, the Thousand Flowers." Inoichi informed.

The Hokage winced. He had seen that one in action before- one of his students employed it when they were undercover. The target either became completely suicidal, or... Well, if they didn't commit suicide, then they would be terrified of the opposite gender for the rest of their (usually brief) existence.

"Kurenai Yuhi." Sarutobi said coolly. "If you cannot justify this behavior-"

"I couldn't let them die like my parents did!" She pleaded. "They got a little too close to a Bijudama during the Kyuubi attack, and..." She began to cry. "Their skin peeled off their bodies. It took them weeks to die, cooked from the inside out. I will not subject my Genins to that risk!"

Sarutobi rubbed the bridge of his nose as he considered this point of view. Unlike most of the villagers (who, if they saw the Kyuubi at all, were usually killed by it's sheer killing intent if they were too close), she had seen some of the worst of what demonic chakra could do.

"After seeing the illusion fail," Inoichi continued as though he had never stopped talking. "She proceeded to use senbon on his reproductive organs in an attempt to sterilize Naruto at best, or cause internal scarring at worst."

Kurenai sounded desperate. "Don't you see! If we can keep the Uzumaki from reproducing, we can make sure the Kyuubi is gone for good! No more risk of a rabid Jinchuuriki, or a faulty seal!"

"That is enough." He said, making sure to make his voice icy. "Your punishment will be a fine- the value of an S-class mission will be deducted from your accounts, and paid as reparations to Naruto Uzumaki for attempted damages." He held up a hand to stop the Jounin's protests. "I could have had you demoted, or executed for attempting to kill off the boy- but we don't have any other beings that could hold the fox. On top of that, none of my ninja should ever see the sterilization of a child to be the ideal course of action... So, on top of your punishment..." The Hokage smirked. "You will be undergoing an multi-year A-class mission, without pay, starting at the beginning of the Chunin exams. Cat, please take her outside while we finish our debriefing."

Kurenai, in a state of shock, was dragged out of the room, and the door closed behind them.

"Now, Inoichi- what about your scan of Anko?" Sarutobi asked, steeling his fingers.

"She doesn't seem to have a mind." Stated Inoichi bluntly. "My Justu just seems to pass through her, or around her... It's hard to tell."

This was worrying. The mind-transference and telepathic Justu that his clan were renown for were supposed to be impossible to block without a lightning-armor technique.

"However, she did admit to 'borrowing' both Hinata and Naruto." Inoichi handed the Hokage a transcript of the interrogation. "She knew about the boy's tenant, and thought that he would 'understand' her."

"And the Hyuuga?" Asked the Hokage as he read through the transcript. He was reading the answer, but Inoichi compiled more than just the report from interrogations.

"She knew that the girl had a crush on the Kyuubi, and wanted to see what would happen. Apparently, the two Genin were chatting amenably when the ANBU arrived, and by the time I had learned that she had abducted the Genin (and sent an intern to recon them), the two had split up." Inoichi admitted. "The Hyuuga guards didn't notice anything out of the ordinary when Hinata returned to the compound... Well, except for the fact that Kurenai usually escorts her back, and was present this time. No odd behavior, nothing that they would mention in any case- and you know how my authority is limited unless we are under war conditions. The intern was able to ask Hinata enough questions to verify that all they really did was talk."

Sarutobi waited for Inoichi to continue, and when he did not, the Hokage promoted his internal affairs interrogator. "And Naruto?"

"He's a Jinchuuriki." Inoichi dismissed the problem. "He is not entirely stable by default, and the ANBU found him writing a sealing diagram on simultaneously multiple scrolls. Kid has a real talent for shadow clones."

Anko nodded vigorously.

"So, Anko... Did you learn what you want to learn?" Sarutobi asked carefully.

She nodded again, and grinned happily. "Yup."

Inoichi whipped his head around. "I thought you were gagged!"

"Why?" Anko looked puzzled.

"I always gag interrogation subjects before I bring them to the Hokage!" Inoichi insisted.

"Um... Do you need a holiday?" Anko asked, sounding amused and a bit concerned. "Even I sometimes need a break."

The interrogator started rifling through his pockets- and found a spare gag. "But... But..."

"Inoichi, take a day off." The Hokage wrote up a quick notice, and handed it to the Jounin. "And give this to Ibiki, and you can leave use tomorrow as the start of a three day weekend." He smiled. "I know you get involved in your work, but sometimes it's a good idea to de-stress a little."

Inoichi Yakama took the note. "I understand, Hokage-sama."

"And you, Anko..." Sarutobi turned to the kunoichi, who had taken her restraints off and was standing up. "Ask permission next time you want to impinge on the time of a Genin team."

She snapped a salute, sending a piece of rope slapping into Inoichi's face. "Hai, Hokage-sama!"

"That's all Anko." The Hokage and Inoichi both watched as she left the room, sashaying as she walked out. Once the door clicked shut behind her, both ninja turned back towards each other. The older of the two ninja sighed. "Still a handful, even after all these years."

"I wouldn't know, Hokage-sama." Inoichi responded loyally. "However, I know that I tied her up as securely as I could. And I KNOW I put the chakra-restraint gag on her!"

"... Inoichi, I need a favor." Sarutobi sighed, and felt every day of his 68 years. "I need you to ask your daughter to try getting closer to Naruto."

"No!" Inoichi growled. "I will not risk her anywhere near that... That..."

"He is not the fox-" the Hokage began, but Inoichi continued.

"That delinquent! He stole from shops-"

"Food. He stole food when shops wouldn't sell to him for months at a time."

"He stole from citizens!" Inoichi insisted. "If he steals from the people of his own village, how can we trust him with anything?"

"He hasn't stolen food in two years." The Hokage felt a headache coming on. "He was never given more money than any other orphan, and did starve when shops overcharges him. He had a Jounin watching over his behavior now. Just... Ask your daughter. It isn't a command, but I am afraid that, if he loses too many links to the village, he may try to go elsewhere."

Inoichi grumbled, but he knew the value of a Jinchuuriki- especially one that was not known to the other villages. "I will ask... But one inappropriate move towards my daughter, and I will-"

Sarutobi raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"

"I will make him regret it in a non-permanent way?" Inoichi was nervous- an intent Hokage was a dangerous Hokage.

"Good." The Hokage purred. "Now, tell Kurenai that I would like to speak with her about that A-Class mission."

Inoichi bowed. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

Once he left, Kurenai walked in, flanked by the ANBU with a cat mask. She was nervously rubbing her arms. "Hokage-sama-"

"Kurenai, I regret doing this, but it is for the good of the village." His hands blurred, and a pulse of blue light enveloped her for a moment.

"What?" The kunoichi tried to move her body, but it was enveloped in a lattice of pulsing, blue lines, starting in a ring around her neck, and sent down her body, sliding over and through the bandage-like clothes she usually wore. "Why can't I move?"

The door opened behind her, and Danzo walked in. "Hokage-san." He took in the frozen kunoichi, and turned to the Hokage. "What do you need?"

The Hokage gestured for Danzo to wait. "Kurenai, due to your attempt to prevent the only Uzumaki from reproducing, and allowing the Kyuubi to remain in Konoha's power, the mission I have for you is simple:" he cleared his throat. "You will, by a method of your choosing, bear a child of the Jinchuuriki Naruto Uzumaki, without his knowledge."

Kurenai could only control her face- and her mouth. "What? I refuse! It is not an S-rank, therefore I can refuse."

Sarutobi and Danzo both looked bemused, and Danzo spoke up, his single eye glinting in amusement. "This is a punishment, not a mission assignment."

She began to look panicked. "I have a boyfriend! I-"

"Yes..." Sarutobi said slowly. "My son... And it has been a while since he had a steady girlfriend. Fine- a choice." He raised his left hand. "On one hand, you can bear the first Uzumaki child in more than a decade, and have control of the Uzumaki estate."

"It is rather considerable at this point." Danzo smirked. The Uzumaki estate paid for Root- well, the explosive seal rights did. Since they had better designs for the explosive notes than Konoha had, refugees had sold their rights to one of the designs in exchange for a pretty penny. Kushina had bought them again, but with the estate in abeyance, Root had managed to use their own money to purchase said rights.

"Indeed. Naruto would never need to know." Sarutobi smirked. "Of course, to ensure that the information of who the father was never left this room, you would need to have a seal tattooed- and Danzo can do that now."

Kurenai swallowed. Tattooing seals was only done on the mucous membranes, as normal sealing inks (even chakra-effused and directed) would slough off. "What is the other option?"

Sarutobi's other hand raised. "You will assist a Root Operative in completing the task. This will only count as a continuous A-rank, and (needless to say) you will not be able to gain control of Uzumaki fortune."

Danzo chuckled. "I would still have to apply the seal, but it wouldn't force a pregnancy."

The kunoichi bit her lip. On one hand, massive monetary payout and a baby- with the downside being that the baby would be from Uzumaki, and she would be seen as whore by other kunoichi. On the other, a decent continuous payout, no societal punishment, and she can maintain a steady relationship with her boyfriend. It was not that difficult a decision, really- ninja rarely had a stable family unless they were part of a clan. She looked at Danzo. "I will escort your agent."

He grinned, one visible eye filled with a cruel glee as his left hand pulled out a elongated rectangular strip of rice paper. He placed it on the hokage's desk, and, using a fresh bottle of sealing ink, he placed a drop of his blood into it. The Hokage followed, dripping two drops of his own blood, and then Danzo stirred the ink carefully, mixing it completely.

After a few seconds, the one-eyed one-armed man began to carefully draw a very complex series of symbols using the hair-thin brush. It took a few minutes, but Danzo knew his sealing.

"Danzo will apply this seal to your tongue." Sarutobi explained. "It will never disipear, but there are not lethal safeguards in the unmodified Silencer seals."

If looked at from a distance of more than a few feet, it looked like two rectangular bars over a series of four squares, but each made of a multitude of minute, intricately-linking symbols. Sarutobi recognized it as a 'statement' seal, the modified version of which all Root operatives had.

Danzo blew on it gently, drying and setting the ink, before motioning for the Hokage to touch it with his still-bleeding finger. It absorbed the blood, glowing slightly, before becoming just another drawing on rice-paper.

Delicately, making sure not to rip it, Danzo picked up the paper, and looked at Kurenai expectantly.

The kunoichi opened her mouth, and extended her tongue. Feeling the almost-tasteless rice paper adhere to her tongue, Kurenai had to fight the urge to get it off.

Then the pain hit, and she barely heard the Hokage speaking.

"Lock information regarding the following concepts: any children sired by Naruto Uzumaki, the knowledge regarding this meeting between myself and Danzo and Kurenai Yuhi, end initial command. Secondary command: override first command for all signatures present on the seal, end final command. Seal lock, engage."

From the perspectives of Danzo and the Hokage, the seal writhed, sending ink tendrils into the kunoichi's tongue, digging in and bypassing natural defenses within her body as it did so. After Sarutobi finished talking, the seal dropped, dissolving the rice paper and sinking into her tongue fully, turning from a dark ink into a pale imitation of what it initially was.

The Hokage placed the ink and brush in a metal bowl, and, using a low-rank Fire Jutsu, boiled away the ink and burned the brush.

Danzo addressed the twitching kunoichi- at this point, she would have been writhing on the floor if the restraining Justu had failed. "My agent will contact you via your seal. It should tingle pleasantly when she is nearby, and will show you hers when you see it."

Sarutobi canceled his Jutsu, and watched as Kurenai swayed. "Expect her to make contact in a few weeks. Good luck."

The kunoichi bowed unsteadily, and walked out, regaining control of her body with every step.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Kurenai had finally walked to the apartment she was sharing with Anko, and opened the door tiredly. When a hand shot out and grabbed her by her dress-thing (A/N- seriously, what is that?), she was surprised, but began the handseals for one of her better illusions.

Anko was holding her, off the floor with one hand, while the other closed the door quietly. She grinned in a very disconcerting manner, and leaned in close to Kurenai. "Kurenai, Kurenai, Kurenai- I have known you for years."

Kurenai shuddered as the heated breath hit her neck, but finished her illusion- and was dumbfounded when she _felt_ the construct shatter against Anko's chakra network.

"And you know me- I act erratic to most, but you know I have never betrayed the village... Not that they haven't made that hard." Anko hissed the last sentence bitterly. "But then you call the ANBU on me? Oh well, no matter." She shrugged, then glared. "However, attacking a Genin when all he wanted was to talk with one of your Genin- because of what he holds! Really?"

"I had to!" Kurenai pulled out one of her drugged senbon discreetly, and tried to stab it into Anko's hand. But when her hand came within an inch, it slid away, as if the kunoichi was covered in a layer of glass. "He is dangerous!"

Anko leaned closer, and Kurenai blushed from the proximity. "Really? Well, I said we would talk, and I know when you are lying. Probably better than your boyfriend Kurenai- _chan_ , and I know when you are uncertain. What's-"

A small bird fluttered into the room, landed on the back of a chair, trilled an odd harmonic set of notes, became as still as a statue, and began to tick.

Anko noticed the bird, and when she saw a sparkle of bronze on its back, she perked up, and dropped Kurenai, who began to twitch slightly. Using her Rise, she shot towards the bird, and grabbed it gently with one hand. With the other, she grabbed a nearby pot, stuffed the bird in it, and used the increased strength and durability that her Rise provided to bend the edge over.

In a few seconds, the pot was sealed- not airtight, but no bird should be able to-

There was a muffled thump, and acrid smoke poured out of the pot. "Shit!" Swore Anko. "What the fuck was that?"

Kurenai stopped twitching, and began to cry. "What have I done?" She bawled. "Oh god! No!"

Anko had no idea how to deal with this... Other than...

A minute later, Anko walked back into the Hokage's office, this time carrying a crying Kurenai and a still-smoking pot.

The Hokage quickly hid the orange book he had been reading.

Anko did not waste time. "Hokage-sama, you might want to get Inoichi again- something happened to Kurenai, and it has to do with this." She hefted the pot.

"Did you try to cook again?" Sarutobi asked. Everyone in the town knew of Anko's talent with cooking- hell, her cooking was listed as a 'cruel and unusual punishment' for criminals.

"No sir." Anko placed Kurenai, still sobbing, on the chair. "But I don't think I can help with this much."

"Cat!" The ANBU appeared. "Recall Inoichi. We require his services immediately.. Again."

The cat-masked kunoichi nodded, and vanished professionally.

* * *

Across town, Naruto walked up to the weapons shop, a large bag over one shoulder. It was about the same size as he was, and was filled with various hard metals, all compressed into spheres. On his belt was another bag, this one a bit smaller, that jingled in the decidedly unique way nearly-pure gold does when it came into contact with other pieces of gold, silver, and platinum.

Carefully, he stepped into Higurashi's Weapon Shop, and was amazed at the sheer number of different weapons on the racks. Swords of several different descriptions, staves of all sorts on descriptive stands filled the floor as a swarm of kunai and shruken were visible on the walls. And, of course, there the casher, who seemed somewhat familiar...

"Tenten?" Naruto queried, he knew her from his second-to-last year in the Shinobi academy. "You work here?"

The girl looked up. With her hair done up like it was, she had a vaguely panda-esque outline- but that was not the most noticeable trait about her. Her most noticeable trait was the spark in those eyes. The bit that said 'oh look- a target for lots of short and pointy things!' was clearly visible in those eyes, and she loved her weapons.

"Oh, hey Naruto." Tenten perked up a little, but not much. "Welcome to Higurashi's Weapon Shop! I haven't seen you for nearly a year."

"Hey Tenten." Naruto walked up to the counter, still carrying the sack. "Um... Can I trade material for weapons here?" He asked. "My Genin pay has been delayed."

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "What sort of material would you be exchanging?"

Naruto dropped the sack, which clanked onto the ground. "2x the raw materials needed for the item, by weight, and a gram of gold per item."

Tenten smirked, and retaliated with a counteroffer. Barter still happened in Konoha, as some ninja proffered to trade in rare weapons (or purchase the ), and value was negotiable for some things. "10x the raw materials, and 10 grams of..." She stopped. "Wait, gold? Why not pay for it with gold?"

Naruto shrugged. "Would you be willing to take straight gold?"

Naoto Higurashi, the owner of the store, walked out of the back room, carrying several strings of kunai (they were sold in batches of thirteen, strung together with a red silk thread). He was a large man, as blacksmiths often were, and hung up the kunai on their rack, warily watching Naruto as he did so. "Did you say gold, lad?"

Naruto nodded, and pulled out a small, hexagonal prism of gold. It was small, shorter than one of his metacarpals, but on it there was a declaration of value: 20 g. "Yup! Figured out a way to collect and refine it-"

"Great, great." The smith looked at the tiny prism of gold. "May I test it? You are not the first Shinobi to be hawking gold in lew of coin."

Naruto handed the prism over carefully. "I will be wanting that back if you won't take it."

"Of course." The smith pulled out an odd-looking scale, and a measuring cup. Then, he proceeded to measure the volume of the prism (by dropping it into a partially-full measuring cup of water), and the weight (using the cup of water, and the scale). A minute to do the maths... The smith whistled. "Damn kid- this /is/ gold! I'll allow Tenten to exchange every gram of gold for 10 ryo credit."

Naruto looked around the shop, noticing the price tags. "20."

The smith laughed, a big, hearty, belly laugh. "11"

"19"

"12"

"18"

"13"

"17"

"14"

"17"

"15"

"16"

"Deal!" The smith stuck out his hand, and Naruto shook it, his rise easily keeping his bones from being crushed. The man handed back the test piece. "Now, how many-"

Naruto began removing ingot after ingot from his pouch, laying an even hundred on the table. "That is 2 kilograms."

The man whistled. "I will need to check these, but I don't see why I can't give you 3,200 ryo credit."

"What about platinum?" Naruto asked, pulling out a 1 kg bar of the chakra-conductive metal.

"Um..." The man blinked, and ran a finger over it.

Naruto saw the bar heat up slightly as his chakra ran through it- the man was a fire-type.

"That will do." Tenten said, after Higurashi didn't say anything for a minute. "I'll ring you up for an even 10,000 ryo then?"

"I have a few more bars-" Naruto stopped talking, and backed away from Higurashi, who was looking at him and drooling.

The smith noticed his state, and wiped his mouth. "Kid, if you can ring me more of these platinum bars, I will make anything with it that you want in exchange for an equal payout in the platinum."

Naruto grinned widely, then frowned. "What do you mean, equal payout?"

"This-" the smith tapped the bar, "is platinum. It is the MOST chakra-conductive metallic material known to man. I have never seen it in larger quantities than a thimble, and that much at a time is used to make the conduction channels for all chakra-conductive weapons. I only ever got to work with it once!" He picked up the surprisingly small bar, and, using the scale and measuring cup, worked out the density. "And it appears to be more pure than anything I have worked with before. Right, Naruto- if you can provide me a bar like this every month, I will guarantee that everything from this shop is set on a Tab, which will then be paid off from the continuing quantities of platinum."

Naruto scratched the back of his head a bit- it was a nervous tick. Well, a tick for a whole bunch of emotions, but now he was nervous. "Um... Why don't you just pay me for the bar?"

"I can't." Admitted the smith, to Tenten's fascination. "That bar is worth more than the weapons in this building and the building itself."

Tenten began to protest, but stopped when the smith held up his hand.

"Yes, even your sealing scrolls in the back, Apprentice." He turned to Naruto. "How many of these do you have?"

The Genin pulled out another three bars, and Higurashi whistled.

"Damn kid- take everything you want. I'll put these to good use- and I know the other blacksmiths will pay through their nose for small chunks of these bars, and the ninja always go nuts for anything chakra-conductive."

"Can I have a percentage?" Naruto asked, a bit timidly.

The smith grinned. "Sure. Hell, I'll even help you with your cash problem. Tenten, you want to get in on this?"

She stood up so fast that her chair toppled over. "Yes Naota-sama!"

"Good. Weigh and record the exact value of each of these bars of gold. Write a receipt for Naruto, and bring them to Usagi's."

"The jeweler? Who hates you for being able to work iron finer than he can silver?"

"The very same. Show him the gold, and get the best price you can for them. More that 30 ryo per bar, at least." The smith turned to Naruto. "That alright with you, kid?"

Naruto'a head was spinning a bit. "Um.. Sure. Are we going to divide that between us?"

"Of course!" The smith laughed. "But don't worry about it. I'll take twenty percent, and Tenten will take five- she's an apprentice after all." He rubbed his chin, making a noise like coarse sandpaper on old leather. "And for the chakra-conductive weapons- for every 1kg bar extra, I'll make you up to ten kilograms of chakra-conductive kunai/sword/armor/whatever." He looked pensive for a moment. "Is fifty percent of the price of any pure platinum I sell to the other blacksmiths good enough?"

"Sure!" Naruto was not exceptionally poor, but he was malnourished (even after eating anything he could find in the Forest of Death), and lots of money would be a step to solving that problem.

"Great- Tenten, get to work." The smith clapped his hands together as Tenten began measuring and weighing the bars of gold. "So, partner- what would you like?"

Naruto considered his options. "A few strings of kunai, and if you have any scrolls on sealing, I would appreciate it." He knew how to seal, but the designs were different than any current forms... And he needed to look like he was blending in.

"Three strings of the best, then?" He watched Naruto nod before Higurashi grabbed three of the multitude of kunai strings on his wall- the ones with the white silk, not the red ones- and handed them over. Then he headed into the back, and came out with several thick books, each almost as big as Naruto's torso, all bound in leather. "And some old Uzumaki-written books on the subject. They didn't like scrolls all that much, I can't really read them, and Tenten has already copied them into her own scrolls."

The girl had the decency to blush at this. "I needed to use them for the twin rising dragons!"

"I know. Still, at least we have copies. Anyway. Here you go kid." He dropped them on the counter, along with the strings of kunai. "So..." The smith drew out the word for a minute, before pointing at the sack. "What's in there?"

Naruto blinked, and pulled out a sphere of iron. "Yeah... I thought I would trade these for weapons, but-"

The smith picked up the deceptively heavy ball, and tossed it into the air. "Yeah... Nice quality iron. Any other metals?"

"Iron, copper, and this stuff." Naruto pulled out a sphere of a grey, somewhat dull material. "I don't know what it is, but it acts... Well, my Jutsu picked it up, as it was a metal, and I thought it would be a good idea to ask what it was."

Higurashi picked up the sphere, which he could barely do with one hand, and rubbed it a little before he smelled it. "Let's see... It is a metal, but not one I can recognize by smell." He then pulled out a small hammer with a tuning fork jutting out of the back end, and tapped the sphere, listening to the him generated. "Not by sound." Then he pulled out an oddly-shaped wooden ring, with spikes along the outside, each spike a different metal or crystal. The smith began to test the material, scratching at it with different spikes on the ring, until he had gone through all the spikes. He looked puzzled. "It's not as hard as Quartz but harder than steel and cobalt. Huh... Do you mind if I experiment with this? I might be able to make something with it."

Naruto shrugged. "Sure. I brought it in to trade anyway."

Tenten finished her measuring and handed Naruto the receipt. "Here Naruto. I'll have your money in an hour or so." She gathered the gold ingots into a small bag, and walked out of the shop, leaving the smith and Naruto alone.

Naruto tried to keep his eyes from being riveted to her backside, without success.

A large hand clasped his shoulder. "Why don't you head out to the range- I'll go get a sealing scroll for you to carry your purchases, and you can try out the kunai." His grip tightened on Naruto's shoulder. "And don't even think about what just went through her head. She's my apprentice, and that means hands off. Capisce?"

Naruto nodded, and fled out the door marked 'Range'.

* * *

End Chapter 7

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter.

Please review- it lets me know what I am doing wrong (or right), and helps my muse create. She tied up the other ones, and I CAN'T GET THIS STORY OUT OF MY SKULL!


	8. Chapter 8- Surf's Up!

(A/N-start)

Now we get into the meaty missions! Well, at least one starts.

Oh, and you guys know this is somewhat AU right?

I am bringing this up because since the last review I have received several angry messages (and several guest reviews) that have used language that frankly I am unwilling to duplicate criticizing the fact that I am not exactly sticking to canon.

To them, I say: No shit- what was your first clue? The fact I gave Naruto telekinetic powers?

The Narutoverse is slightly different here- ninja are usually more ruthless, there is a three-tiered power balance between the ninja, Samurai, and monks (using a concept from Chunin Exam Day- one of the best fanfictions ever), the Kyuubi was not split into yin and yang (because seriously, what the actual fuck? No!), and several other differences that I found never made much sense in context have been altered for consistency.

So yeah... That's a thing.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter- I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any source material.

Yet.

(A/N- end)

The best corporate Mission Statement ever:

 _To crush our enemies,_

 _See them driven before us,_

 _And to hear the lamentations of their women._

* * *

 **Chapter 8- Surf's Up!**

* * *

-Later in the evening, just after the last chapter-

Naoto Higurashi was a patient man. A blacksmith had to be- the job took time, and he could not rush things. He had to be calm, as sometimes metal ingots could explode if lowered slightly too fast into the crucible.

So when the lump of very tough mystery metal burst into flame, and began to flake into dust when he was about to place it in the iron furnace, he calmly and deliberately dropped it in the nearby water trough.

He would have dropped it in the quenching oil, but that would have been stupid.

It was harder than steel, and burst into flame if he tried to put it in the iron forge... Maybe the steel furnace? No... That would be too hot, and it would burn more.

"Hey Tenten!" Higurashi yelled, calling his apprentice. Some new eyes might see a solution to this problem.

"Yes master?" Tenten walked up to the forge, and saw her master pulling the, now flaking, orb out of the water trough.

The smith dropped the orb on the anvil, and it clanged, shedding bits of dust. "I have a question for you." He tapped the orb a few times with his hammer, but more flakes just came off. "Why would this burn?"

The Genin blinked. "Um... Too hot a fire? Too much reactant in the air? Lots of things burn under different circumstances."

"That's what I thought. But watch." The smith held the orb, using a pair of tongs, over a candle flame- it didn't burn, but the dust sparked. "But it burns if I put it in near the iron furnace, and it might burn if I put it in the steel crucible."

"Well..." Tenten thought. "Maybe... Try the steel furnace- but place it inside the furnace like you would an iron ingot."

"That would burn it more." Stated the smith, "you know this, Tenten."

"Yes, but it also might remove whatever reactant in the air is causing the metal to burn."

The smith tapped the edge of his anvil for a moment, before nodding. "Get the limestone."

* * *

Over the next two weeks, Naruto played the 'obedient' teammate, and when they finished the day's mission/teamwork building exercise, was not engaged in 'humbleness training' by Kakashi, which gave him the opportunity to practice utilizing his psi.

And his Sealing techniques. Using a shadow clone- seriously, the most useful Justu ever- he had been able to apply the restraint seal to himself. Once activated, it would turn a set level of chakra into resistive forces, in effect making it harder to move in any way. Level one doubled the effort it took to lift his arm, and every level doubled the required output again. With his regenerative abilities, he would be at level eight within a month- in effect, 256 times stronger than he had been before the seal was applied.

Electrokinesis was developing well- it was more trance than burst, but that was good practice for all the other elemental telekinetic powers; according to Oh-Seven anyway. Next, she recommended Fire- it was a process of energy release, unlike electricity, and had three aspects.

Fuel, a reaction agent, and temperature. Temperature was easy- even people who couldn't muster a full g of acceleration in a square meter could increase the temperature of an area.

Breathing deeply, Naruto felt the candle he had brought with his trance. It gave him feelings of oiliness, an organic flavoring- and other sensations that were difficult to quantify. With a click of his tongue, a spark of lightning shot from his fingertip, hovered around the candle like a puppy inspecting a new treat, and then snapped into the wick.

The flame burst to life, an orange- white glow in the evening air. It was an oxygen fire- most fires were, he had been taught, but it was important to keep his mind open anyway.

Naruto extended his trance again, feeling how the fire pulled in oxygen from the air, and in the high temperature of the flame, bound it to the wicked up fat particles. That changed the candle from a burning string to a candle- the wick sucked up liquid wax, and pushed it into the flame, feeding it, and keeping the flame just cool enough for oxygen not to bind to the wick itself- mostly.

He breathed in, and out, feeling the rhythm of the flame. The minute cycle as it broke molecules apart, renewed the CO2 with fresh O, and repeated the cycle was exactly a breath pattern.

The candle began to flicker, increasing in size as he breathed in, and flaring to a bright white heat as he breathed out.

Naruto then released his burst, willing it to ignite when it was far enough from his body- and a sphere around him burst into white-hot flame, an inch thick. Carefully, he refined the release, gathering the flames around his hands- and screamed as the flames licked his hands.

He stopped the stream immediately, but the damage was done- his hands were covered in burns, the bones visible in some places as his skin sloughed off.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck!" Naruto groaned. He hastily redirected his Psi from Trance to Rise, and his hands began to regenerate. "Lets try that again."

Anyone spying on him would have heard a symphony of screams- mostly from burning off his own hands, but they were not the only thing he ended up burning off.

Plasma was easy. Lightning was easy. Fire? Fire was hard.

Maybe he could use seals...

* * *

The next morning, Sakura and Sasuke arrived to see Naruto, still slightly smoldering in the tattered rags of his clothing, waiting for them at the usual training field. It was about two hours before Kakashi was supposed to show up.

"'Sup." Naruto said, sitting with his back to the tree.

Sasuke just grunted at him, while Sakura glared.

"I don't know if you noticed," Naruto continued as though he was having a friendly conversation, "the tree I am leaning against."

The Uchiha smirked slightly. "Of course, Dobe."

"Good, now, have you seen what's wrong with it?" Naruto leaned back, his eyes closed."

That got the Genin's attention. Sakura studied the tree for a moment, before shrugging. "Baka, it's just a tree."

"Ah- but there are two things wrong with it." Naruto held up two fingers. "First, there is a Jounin in it."

Kakashi poked his head out of the branches. "How did you-"

"And second, it has come down with a bad case of explosions." Naruto shook his head sadly as a leaf burst into flame. "I hope it's not catching."

Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi all shared a glance, and moved as fast as they could. The two Genin couldn't get very far before the tree burst into flame, so hot it was almost white for a moment, before popping like a ballon, covering the clearing with dust.

Kakashi body-flickered back, glaring. "Naruto-"

The boy was also covered in ash, and his hair was smoking. He was grinning widely. "Yeah... I was trying to make a Justu, and it seems to have gotten away from me."

Kakashi blinked. "What did you do?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I figured that fire-natured chakra naturally likes to take certain shapes in seals, and thought 'what if I run the fire-chakra through a seal that burns copies of itself on a similar medium when it touches?'..."

Several other trees around the clearing burst into flame.

"Yeah..." Naruto continued. "Luckily I think it will burn out after a few generations. Seals deteriorate slightly after every use, especially if they are carved without a setting compound-"

More trees exploded.

"We may not want to be near here though." Naruto began to run, and the rest of Team 7 followed him away from the expanding ring of exploding trees.

* * *

Kakashi gave them the day off after he made Naruto promise not to make a self-reproducing Justu ever, ever again.

He promised that quite emphatically, to the sound of still-exploding trees.

It took a while for them to stop exploding.

* * *

Anko ran into Kakashi as she was leaving the Hokage's tower. She had just picked up an A-rank mission, and was enjoying some of the sun outside the tower before she saw the cycloptic Jounin.

He was walking, rather quickly, and was not reading his trademark orange book- he was deep in thought..

She wrapped herself in a trance field that whispered to everyone 'ignore m- I am not your problem' before dancing up behind the Jounin, and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Ah, Kakashi-ero! Where's the fire?"

"Training ground 7." He said absently. Wow, he was not paying attention right now. "Naruto made a self-replicating Fire Jutsu, and it was blowing up trees last I checked."

Anko blinked. "He made a what?"

"Well, a mix of a Justu and seal technique." Kakashi brushed her off. "And I need to report to the Hokage. Can you do me a favor and go check on Naruto? I... Can't,"

"Um... Sure?" She let the Jounin go. "He really is out of it. Wonder why?"

Images of the trees, then grass, then animals and people and the very earth itself burning as they systematically exploded ran through Kakashi's mind as Anko considered this, but she was blissfully ignorant of this fact. It was not a pretty sight.

Anko thought about what to do. On one hand, she had a nice, juicy, and probably profitable A-rank that started tomorrow, and she wanted some sake and dango. On the other hand, the kid was also amusing, and was always up for something interesting...

"KAKASHI! MY RIVIAL! WE MUST STROKE THE FIRES OF YOUR YOOUUUUTTTTHHHHH!" And that was the flamboyant voice of Maito Gai.

"YOOOUUUUTTTTHHHHH!" And there was his clone.

"Yeah, fuck that." Anko vanished in a body-flicker, and reappeared several blocks away. Nonchalantly, she tucked the mission scroll away in a hidden storage seal, and began ninja-leaping towards Training Ground 7.

* * *

Kakashi burst in to the meeting between Inoichi and the Hokage, gasping with the effort of having eluded all the ANBU stationed just outside the door, and stumbled to a window.

In the distance, a thin plume of thinning smoke drifted on the wind, a slowly-dispersing sign of the incredibly dangerous Justu Naruto had utilized.

"Ho-ka-ge..." He panted, single eye showing incredible amounts of relief. "Na-ru-to-" he took a deep breath, and steadied his body. "Naruto attempted to create a self-replicating seal network that infused itself with fire chakra."

The Hokage removed his pipe. "And?"

"It was one one tree, but it spread. I thought that of it kept spreading, it might destroy the village." Kakashi realized how odd that sounded. "I thought that if I came to you, Hokage-sama, then you could proceed with evacuations if the threat was significant."

Sarutobi waved a hand in the general direction of Training Ground 7. "And is there?"

"... No Hokage-sama." Kakashi looked embarrassed. "It seems to have stopped."

The third Hokage stroked his chin in thought. "I will talk with Naruto tonight- and Bear?"

An ANBU materialized, his bear mask was cracked slightly. "Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Send word to Jiraya. He should stop by and make sure that Naruto doesn't exparament with something that threatens the village excessively."

The masked ninja bowed. "I hear and obey, Hokage-sama."

"And Hokage-sama, I have a request, since I am here..." Kakashi continued when the Hokage nodded. "I would like to request a C-rank mission for my Genin team. Potential combat may allow me to see more of Naruto's abilities, and potentially blood Sasuke at least."

Sarutobi inclined his head slightly. "Very well. Come in tomorrow with your team- I will have selected a C-rank mission with a modicum of expected combat."

"Thank you Hokage-sama." Kakashi bowed, opened the window, and leapt through it.

The Hokage turned back to his mind-diver. "She is cleared for duty then?"

"Yessir. Kurenai appears to have fully regained access to the memories of what she did, and seems to be re-assimilating them properly. The Memory-Concealing-Sand-Needle Justu is a difficult one to see with the Byakugan, and as far as I know, no Hyuuga have been able to detect it. We only know that it was active because of the unlocked memories and the bird Anko collected- it's a classical Life-Mimicry Puppet."

"The Village Hiddedn in the Sand..." The Hokage mused. "Well then... Clear Kurenai, and make sure that she is fit for duty. Her Genin team is not suspicious yet, but they will be if too many days are taken. Evening sessions only- remove all harmonic programming that may have been formed around that needle Jutsu."

"Yes Hokage-sama." Inoichi saluted, and left the room.

Sarutobi took another drag from his pipe. "Naruto... Now, why would sand be interested in you?"

* * *

She arrived at the training ground, and she found a unique sight. Naruto was surrounded by a near-whirlwind of ash, all of it spiraling through a tiny point between his palms.

"A 'self-replicating seal array'?" Anko asked, as she watched some form of telekinesis snatch ash from the air and force it into the tiny point in Naruto's hands. "He bought that?"

"Like a discount Icha-Icha. I bet he's telling the Hokage right now. Heh... Fire is fun." Naruto didn't open his eyes. "You didn't check the area before talking about it." He admonished. "Getting sloppy Anko~."

She groaned. Every time he saw her, Naruto reminded her that she needed to use her Psi more and more in order for it to get easier- and he was right. She was hear-feeling the loudest thoughts of people around her unless the blocked them out actively, and got precognitive flashes every time someone did something within fifty feet or so that was relatively threatening.

Without arguing, she expanded her perception out as far as it could go, feeling the spark-like presence of minds in the forest. Every insect, vermin, animal and human had a mind that registered, and she felt them all- a hemispherical dome of awareness. "All clear out past five hundred feet."

Naruto nodded. "That should be enough, but look down too."

There were tunnels running through the earth in multiple directions, just at the edge of her sphere of awareness, human-sized mind-sparks racing along them. "The Root Tunnels." Anko breathed. "I never thought they really exsisted."

"Root?" Naruto opened his eyes finally, the ash whirlwind now more like a swirling vortex just around his hands. "Who are they?"

Anko's fingers drummed a tattoo her thigh for a minute as she thought about how to answer that. "Gaki, you know how the ANBU handle some black-ops missions?"

Naruto nodded. "Of course- but the fact most people know about that means that ANBU have lost a bit of operational security."

"Root is to the ANBU what the ANBU are to normal ninja." She said flatly. "They are rarely seen, rarely ever noticed, and never stand out unless confronted. I have heard rumors, but never met anyone who was part of that organization."

The whirlwind was much smaller now, contained in the small space between Naruto's hands, and was visibly glowing. "That is... Disquieting. And, from context, I can assume that you heard that they had tunnels under the village?"

She nodded.

"Well then, I will need to keep things quiet." Naruto clenched his fists, and the small, whirling, glowing cloud imploded, changing into what, at first glance, appeared to be shards of smoky glass. "Or, you know, move things along faster."

He flicked a finger, and one of the spikes accelerated across the clearing, going from a glittering bullet to a blazing star, passing through boulder and tree before shattering against a nearby rocky outcropping.

"Damn." Naruto shook the feeling back into his hand. "Diamond can take a lot of punishment."

Anko's heart nearly stopped. "What?"

Naruto looked up at her, puzzled. "That was diamond. Fairly strong, but hard to make- it's a good practice for increasing the forces I can make with my telekinesis. Is something wrong?" He asked, seeing her jaw drop.

"You can just... Make diamond from ash?" She asked.

Naruto's eyebrow raised. "Well, yeah. Carbon is carbon, after all- it just needs a lot of pressure to become a diamond. Anko, you saw me pull metal out of the earth- why is this so surprising?"

"It's diamond!" She persisted. "It's incredibly expensive, and the best jewelry has them."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't know- never been allowed in any jewelry shop. Ever."

Anko winced- the villagers hatred was still rather pronounced. Still, there were glittery rocks to be looked at. "Hand me one of the-" she caught the tossed diamond fragment. "Thanks." It was several inches long, and looked more like the blade of a kunai than anything else- two elongated pyramids attached to each other at the base. Holding the fragment up to the light, it like smoky glass- somewhat clear, but fairly dark and with irregular lines of wavy shadows within the crystal. She could imagine gems with these subtle shadows on a ring, or maybe a pendant. "Can you make more of these?" She asked.

"Yep!" Naruto stood up, brushing some extra ash off his clothes. "I just need carbon."

Anko grinned. "I think you may have accidentally solved the money part-"

"No." Naruto's voice cut through Anko's happy revelation. "Even if I don't know how valuable diamond is, I know that those are not stable."

Anko dropped the shard like it was made of dog crap. It fell to the earth with a heavy 'thunk'. "What do you mean 'not stable'?"

Naruto telekinetically flicked the shard into the nearest still-intact tree trunk, where it quivered- and began to crack. "My control is not good enough to prevent contaminates. In a crystal that big, contaminates mean that absorbed energy does not pass through the lattice, making the crystal unstable-"

It shattered into a sparkling dust.

"-and will shatter if the energy is not transferred out quickly enough." He finished. "I'll stick with the gold- the Higurashi weapons shop is helping me fence it. Making diamonds is great for practice though."

Anko flopped onto the now-clean grass around them. "Really?" She gave Naruto a knowing smirk. "And the woman behind the counter doesn't peak your interest?"

He shrugged. "She was in my graduating class at one point- one I failed out of. If I remember right she had a crush on some Hyuuga,- a male one who was always just a little bit angry. He was the 'head of the class', like that Uchiha was for my last one- the best." He said bitterly.

The kunoichi shrugged. "Don't really know, or care. But she would be a valuable asset if we left Konoha- blacksmiths are wanted everywhere."

Naruto glare at her from the ground, before groaning. "Do we need anyone else? Getting me out is going to be hard enough... Hinata will also be difficult, but doable. You shouldn't have much problem because of the villagers, and Ayame-"

"Can cut a swath through the village if she wanted too, and no-one will miss the ramen stand." Anko said. When Naruto glared, she had to respond. "It's true! The stall gets most its business from civilians, and I talked with Teuchi- other businesses want his stall's location, and are slowly driving up the prices. Besides, she's almost at journeyman status for the ramen trade, and is expected to move out in a few years. She's old enough!"

"When can we leave then?" Naruto mused. "Not now- it would look odd for the Genin teams to suddenly lose two members as well as a Jounin?"

Anko coughed in a way that sounded like "Special Jounin", and cleared her throat. "Doesn't matter yet- we still need to talk about this Tenten girl."

"Must we?" He pleaded. "She is an apprentice blacksmith/ninja- not a journeyman, like Ayame, and a real asset to the village. Even if I could convince her to leave with us- which I don't know if I can, would she stay with us?"

"Show her the truth." Anko offered. "And, kid, you managed to get me on board, remember? She shouldn't be a problem."

Naruto looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Gaki, I am a specialist, with training in seduction, interrogation, and, well, turning people." She said bluntly. "You turned me, and one of the Hyuuga princesses." She chuckled. "Admittedly, you did so without any intended malice, which is one of the markers we usually look for in a person if they are trying to turn us, and had several advantages you usually wouldn't have, but still- you have some talent in turning kunoichi..." She took a deep breath. "Which is why I want to train you."

Naruto was shocked- the only people who had wanted to train him (not talk at him until he remembered out of sheer boredom) were his great-something-grandparents. And they were constructs. "What's in-"

Anko's hand shot over his mouth. "Don't you dare ask what's in it for me! You know exactly what's in it for me!" She grinned, and rolled over, leaning against the sitting Genin, who blushed. "You are going to learn the things that Kakashi should have been teaching you, as well as seduction."

The boy smiled slightly. "Alright. I trust you, Anko."

She twitched slightly, but other than that didn't move. "First though- a nap. You're warm, gaki."

He blushed. This was going to take a while, and be rather frustrating.

* * *

He wasn't wrong. Ayame had dropped by, along with Hinata- who had promptly blushed, sported a massive nosebleed, and fainted.

The first lesson was 'what not to wear'. Apparently, everything he was wearing at that moment had counted as what not to use.

The shopping trip that resulted from her teaching style killed what was left of Naruto's sense of shame- and made Hinata lose almost a gallon of blood.

The Hokage had sent ANBU to collect Naruto later that evening, and the resulting discussion was short- 'Don't do anything that might blow up the land of Fire, or Konoha'.

He also have the blond a book. It was titled _How Not to Seal Things_.

Naruto got the message- and took the book.

* * *

The next day, the three Genin were waiting for their Sensei in the remains of Training Ground 7. Sakura was pestering Sasuke, and Naruto was doing one-handed chin-ups.

After the first hour, Naruto switched hands, and one of the Genin finally decided to ask him a question.

Oddly enough, it was Sasuke. "Why are you doing that?"

Naruto looked down at Sasuke, then closed his eyes again, never breaking rhythm. "Are you talking to me?"

"Yes Dobe!" Sasuke snapped. "Now answer me."

"I'm bored." Naruto stated calmly. "And I don't want to spend two hours just sitting around for a Sensei which is almost always late-"

"And why are you wearing that?" Sakura interjected.

He paused in mid chin-up. "... Anko stole my other clothes."

"What?" Sakura let a chuckle out before she could stop it. Even Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"She stole my clothes, and forced me to go shopping." Naruto gripped the branch with both hands, and swung around so his feet were pushing against the underside of the branch, letting his overcoat flop down behind his head. Anko had been thorough, and turned Naruto into a sort of mini-clone. A mesh bodysuit, red shorts, an open tiger-striped overcoat, black combat boots, goggles on his forehead, and his forehead protector around his neck like a necklace... And that was it.

Naruto was still a bit pissed she had stolen and burned his frog-print underwear. Still, Hinata's expression had been priceless- as had Ayame's.

He chucked for a moment before twisting around and lowering himself onto the ground. "So... Yeah. Forced shopping trip."

Kakashi appeared in a flurry of leaves. "It looks better than your old orange jumpsuit."

All the males in the immediate vicinity covered their ears.

"You're late!" Screamed Sakura.

Naruto rubbed his ears to alleviate the ringing. "He wasn't yesterday."

Kakashi looked embarrassed. "Well, a mouse tried to chew through my alarm clock, and the smell of burning rodent woke me up an hour early."

"LIAR!" The others barely covered their ears in time.

Kakashi gave Sakura a look of annoyance. "Anyway... We need to head into the Hokage's tower for our mission scroll today."

The Genin gave each other a knowing look- something was up.

* * *

Something was up.

Naruto could feel it in the air- literally. His trance field was extending a few meters around him in every direction, and it was telling him that Kakashi was amused, Sasuke was indifferent, Sakura was anxious, and the Hokage -who was sitting at his desk in front of them- was a single butt-joke from laughing uncontrollably. His burst ratcheted up to plasma-causing levels, and settled like a second skin over his body.

Anyone looking closely would have seen Naruto appear just a bit more red than he was usually, as the physical distortion field began to redshift the light around him. "Hokage-jiji... What's the joke?"

Sarutobi turned to face him, pipe slowly puffing rings. "What joke? Iruka usually handles the mission assignments, but since he is sick today, I took the opportunity to get out of doing the usual slog of paperwork." He grinned. "It's fun telling Genin squads they have to catch Tora again."

Sasuke grunted in annoyance. "Damn cat."

"No! Anything but the cat! Please, hokage-sama!" Sakura begged.

The old man began pulling scrolls from behind his desk. "Lets see... Escorting a caravan- too high chance of bandits for fresh Genin. Infiltrating a brothel..." He looked over Sakura, who blushed. "Just no. Taking down bandit activity in the Land of Birds... Again, too green. Painting fences-"

"Please no!" Sasuke looked rather crazed. "No more fences!"

Sarutobi gave Sasuke an odd look, before gently putting the scroll back. He glanced at Naruto, but the Genin was watching everyone quietly. The Hokage pulled out another scroll. "Ah- a man needs to be escorted back to Wave. C-rank, low expected bandit activity, and no chance of ninja combatants!"

"Please!" Sakura begged. "Let us go on that mission!"

"Well, it is time sensitive..." The Hokage tapped a hidden seal and the door opened. "Come in Tazuna.".

A somewhat old man entered the room. He had a rope wrapped around his head in a way that would have been jaunty if not for the smell. Sake. Sake smell everywhere. He was quite drunk, and, if the bottle in his hand and those on his belt were any indication, getting more drunk while they watched.

"So this is the team that's supposed to protect me?" Tazuna slurred. "A cyclops, and three brats?"

"My team is more than capable of handling any threat that might arise in this mission." Kakashi managed to say that in a co,poetry serious matter. "And if anything worse comes up, I can handle it."

"Team Seven!" The hokage's voice cracked like a whip through the air. "Your mission is to escort Tazuna, the bridge builder, back to his home in Wave Country, and protect him until the bridge he is building is complete." Sarutobi put his pipe back in his mouth. "Do you understand the terms?"

Kakashi and his Genin saluted. "Yes Hokage-sama!"

The Jounin turned to his team. "Meet me at the south gate in 2 hours. Bring enough supplies to last several weeks."

"Yes Kakashi-Sensei!" The Genin saluted, and shot off.

* * *

Naruto bounced on his toes as he walked. When they left the village, he had released his restraint seal, and now felt sixteen times less resistance doing everything- he almost felt that he would fly if he stepped in the ground too hard. And this was without his Rise active!

 _Still,_ he thought as the group walked along, _the scrolls were damned convenient._ His jacket coat has seals engraved within, and was much tougher than it looked- but that wasn't the cool thing.

Every seal did something- the edge pattern had a reinforcement matrix, just to prevent the coat from being cut, punctured, burned, or stained, but the real jewel were the inside pockets. Every one had a seal, made specifically to eject a single item at a time from the storage space it contained. He had several small pockets (usually for senbon, but mainly for metal dust that he had collected), four -two on each side- for the kunai that he had, and one larger one on his back that contained all his other gear.

I.e., everything else he owned. Well, except the two months worth of platinum he had dropped off at the Higurashi weapons shop, but he didn't consider that stuff his at the moment.

"What's got the Dobe so cheery?" Sasuke directed to Kakashi.

The Jounin shrugged, still reading his orange book. "I don't know. Maybe it's because he's never left the village before, or the fact that he is just enjoying the day."

"...What?" Sakura panted, dripping with sweat. "It has been four hours since we left the village- can we rest for a minute?"

"Why not?" Naruto laughed. "We can rest right next to that innocuous puddle."

Kakashi closed his book, and blinked at the Genin. "You noticed that?"

"Yeah." Naruto hummed. "Bit obvious- it hasn't rained around here for ages, and the surface refraction is wrong."

Sakura didn't are about anything the Dobe had just said, and Sasuke was not really paying attention anyway- so the group kept walking.

When they were right on top of the puddle, two Shinobi with scratched-out Hidden Mist forehead protectors emerged from the puddle. Each one was wearing a gauntlet, and that connected to the other with a chain- which they proceeded to wrap around Kakashi.

Naruto appeared to stumble just as the ninja emerged, kicking a rock with significant force straight into the face of one of the attacking ninja.

Said ninja swore, and grabbed his face with both hands. "You little di-"

He was interrupted as other ninja, who had been rushing around Kakashi, was yanked off his feet by the instinctive flinch of his college. The chain rippled once, a single sinusoidal wave that, in the manner of a whip, flipped the still-moving ninja into a low branch, crotch first. He made a squeaking noise as something crunched.

Sakura froze, is being her first time in a real combat situation.

Sasuke jumped into action when he heard the first ninja speak, and rushed forward, kunai at the ready, and stabbed him in the shoulder.

"You know..." Kakashi said as he pulled Sasuke out of the way of a gauntleted slash. "I was going to let you trap me with your chains, then body-replacement out before you cut the duplicate in pieces." He grabbed the surprised ninja by his throat, and lifted him into the air. With his other hand, Kakashi pulled the armored gauntlet off, and then rammed it into the man's thigh, drawing a scream of pain from his captive. "I was going to test my cute little genin- see how they did, and make sure they were ready for this."

He negligently tossed the captured ninja into a tree, head-first. The crunch was audible.

"But now I need to test them some other way." Kakashi said, rather deadpan, as he advanced on the remaining, living enemy. "And you... You had better tell me what I want to know, otherwise..."

"What?" The enemy-nin squeaked. "You killed my brother already!"

Kakashi eye-smiled. "Otherwise, I may choose to take you back to Konoha _alive_."

There was a sudden, and overpowering smell of urine.

"I'll tell you all I know!" The terror had overtaken the ninja. "Just... Kill me quickly? Please?"

The Jounin-Sensei began to twirl a kunai. "Glad to see we understand each other."

Five minutes of interrogation later, Kakashi held up a hand. "In summary- Zabuza, the Demon of Mist, hired you two, the infamous Demon Brothers (B-rank missing-nin from the Hidden Mist village) to kill the old man," he gestured with the kunai at Tazuna, "and receive a portion of a payout from the shipping magnate, Gato. Anything else?"

"Um..." The bound ninja shifted uneasily.

"Fine. We'll talk later." Kakashi pulled out a small scroll, and unrolled it, revealing several seals. Cutting a finger, he smeared the blood over two main designs, and two larger scrolls popped out. One he unrolled on the ground, revealing another containment seal diagram.

With one hand, he picked up the struggling ninja, and placed him on the scroll.

"Wait! I could tell you more!" The ninja begged. "Please!"

"You haven't told me everything yet." Kakashi said. "And I am sure the people in T&I will make sure you don't forget anything."

"No! You promi-" the Shinobi's voice was cut off as a cloud of smoke briefly replaced him, before drifting away. On the scroll, in the middle of the intricate design, was now the kanji for 'living prisoner'.

Kakashi proceeds to seal the body of the other Shinobi, before advancing menacingly on Tazuna. "You knew?"

The bridge builder looked around at the drying bloodstains. "I... I..."

With every word Kakashi took another step closer. "Yes, you knew. You knew there were ninja that were targeting you."

"Please- I couldn't pay for more than a C-rank!" The man pleaded. "It was all the money I could spare!"

The Jounin eye-smiled as he bent down so that he was face to face with the civilian. "In that case, have you heard of our payment plan?"

"W-what?"

As Kakashi went over the various ways that the villager could pay for the value of a higher-ranked mission, the Genin kept an eye on their surroundings.

"Did you know?" Sasuke asked. When no reply was forthcoming, he glared at the blond. "Dobe, I was talking to you!"

"Did I know about what?" Naruto asked, one hand holding a kunai.

"You knew!" The Uchiha snapped. "About the ninja hidden in the puddle!"

"I was suspicious, yes. Kakashi noticed that I noticed, and I guessed that he would have told you if they were truly a threat." Naruto sounded completely unconcerned.

"Why didn't you help Sasuke-kun?" Sakura demanded.

"I did." The blond looked confused. "Have you seen me stumble once in the month we have been teammates?" He shook his head. "It doesn't matter at this point though. Anyway..." Naruto turned to Kakashi, who had managed to procure a scroll from somewhere and had gotten Tazuna to sign it. "I think we will have a decision to make soon."

Kakashi was suddenly behind his Genin. "Good job! Sakura, good work staying in front of the client. Sasuke, you did well targeting one of them. Naruto..." Kakashi stopped smiling momentarily. "I have no idea what you didm but you saw the discrepancy in the puddle... Good job!" He eye-smiled again. "So- what do you think? A very rich man has hired people to kill our client. How do we proceed?"

"We finish the mission." Naruto said simply. "We agreed to protect him from bandits, and as far as I understand this Gato, he sounds like a bandit."

Tazuna's mouth dropped open.

"As much as I hate to admit it, the Dobe has a point." Sasuke ground out. "If we give up now, how can we get stronger?"

Sakura, seeing that her crush wanted to continue, nodded.

Kakashi tried to withhold another sigh- those two were Chunin, and the next opponent may well be a Jounin. "Very well- however, I am going to send a progress report to the Hokage first." He pulled out a small scroll, one smaller than the tip of a finger, and began to write in it. "I will send for assistance if I feel we need it."

One summoning Jutsu later, and Kakashi's personal dog summon was racing for Konoha with the message.

"Right!" The Jounin clapped his hands. "Let's keep going!"

* * *

"Alright Tazuna- this is as far as I go." The boatman hadn't gotten them super-close to the bridge, but at least they did not have to swim across the ocean.

"Thanks Kaji." Tazuna replied.

They were now in wave country, and there were no futher attacks. This, more than the slowly-creeping fog, made Kakashi suspect that an assault would happen soon. It was usually best to attack people when they were moving from familiar to unfamiliar territory, and he knew that any ambushing squads would know this.

Naruto was observing an area that was a mile in radius, and had noticed two minds that were waiting for them. One thing people didn't usually recognize was that minds had shapes- animal minds were smaller than human minds, and more defined in shape.

Predators were like spearheads, while prey were more like spiking disks- but they were very focused, and almost always consistent in shape. Obvious exceptions were Dogs- they were more nebulous than other predators, mainly because they were taught to think in a way like humans.

Humans were like nebulous clouds, with patterns that flashed into place as they formed thoughts. Ninja tended to be more coherent, and more focused as combat approached, but nebulous while waiting for the fight to start- it was a method of thought.

And within his sphere of detection, there were two civilians- Tazuna and the boatman Kaji, their nebulous minds like clouds of silver light on his mental eye. But there were FIVE ninja minds- and he could only account for three.

Naruto slowly rotated around Tazuna, and set himself right behind Kakashi. "Sensei, there are two ninja waiting in ambush."

Kakashi didn't twitch. "How can you tell?"

"I can sense them." Naruto made a guess on distance. "11 o-clock, five hundred feet out in three. Two. One. Now."

Kakashi nodded slightly. "I will feel them if they get within fifty feet. Team 7, we may be ambushed at any moment. Ready weapons."

All three Genin pulled out kunai, and Kakashi pulled out a shuriken.

As they approached the potential ambush site, the team was ready. And, in an anticlimactic moment, as they passed the ambush site, nothing happened.

"Sensei, they are moving." Naruto stated calmly. His Burst, Rise, and Trance were all ratcheted to 80+ percent, and it was only his healing factor that was preventing a nosebleed. "We are being flanked."

"Their last known position?" Kakashi muttered.

The Genin flicked a throwing star at the bush, and there was a loud squeak. A snow-white rabbit dashed out of the bush, a slightly-bleeding knick in one ear.

Kakashi's eye widened- this was late summer, and the rabbit should not have a white coat at this time of year. By the time he shouted "Down!", Naruto had already tackled the client.

Sasuke dropped immediately, and Kakashi dragged Sakura down just in time to miss being bisected by a giant sword. It imbedded itself in a tree behind them, and the mist began to creep in faster than before.

A tall, shirtless man with a leather strap across his chest appeared, standing on the hilt of the sword. He was wearing camouflage pattern arm and leg warmers, and his scratched-out Hidden Mist forehead protector identified him as a missing-nin.

The thing Naruto noticed most about him though- besides the distinct lack of eyebrows and the bandages hiding the lower half of his face (creating an effect similar to that of Kakashi's mask)- was the man's mind. It was sharpening into multiple spear-points, each probably targeting and evaluating one of the ninja- no, there were six distinct points. One sharper than the rest- probably focused on Kakashi, and three more diffuse- probably locked on the Genin. A fifth point was more nebulous (Tazuna?), and the sixth was nearly nonexsistant, but present- probably just aware of his teammate.

"Momochi Zabuza, the Demon of the Hidden Mist." Kakashi stated, identifying the newcomer as he slid up and into a combat stance.

"Sharingan Kakashi, the Copy Ninja." Zabuza replied with a slight nead-nod.

"Stay back and protect Tazuna." Kakashi stated as he pulled up his headband, revealing the Sharingan eye for which he had just been named. "This enemy is out of your league."

"Oh? I get to see the Sharingan already? I'm honored!" Zabuza stepped off his weapon, then, almost negligently pulled it out of the tree. "You know- you could hand over the bridge builder, and we wouldn't have a problem." He commented idly as he rested his weapon on a shoulder.

"Sorry, but we have to protect him." Kakashi said. "He's the client, you know how it is..."

"I know." And with that, Zabuza jumped to the nearby lake (well, more of a large pond really), and made a handsign. "Hiding in the Mist Jusu!"

The growing fog rolled up and over the ninja, covering everyone and everything in a thick white shroud.

"Don't lower your guard- Zabuza is a master of the Silent Killing technique." The Jounin warned.

"Silent Killing?" Sakura asked nervously as she watched the fog for any sort of movement.

"As the name suggests, users of the technique are able to kill their targets without a sound." Kakashi pulled out another kunai. "Most of the time, the target never even knew what killed them."

Naruto didn't have a problem with the mist- he could feel/see the man's mind. There appeared to be reflections, or mirages of his min in the mist, but his mind stood out.

"Khukhukhukhu..." Zabuza's voice echoed out from multiple directions in the fog, granting him a haunting echo effect. "8 choices... Liver, lungs, spine, clevical vein, kidneys, heart, neck vein, brain... Which one should I cut first?"

Naruto facepalmed. "Really? What about the gallbladder? The intestines? There are a dozen other places that you could use a knife to kill a person in less than a minute! Be more creative man."

"Fine! I'll-" Zabuza never had a chance to finish what he was about to say, as Kakashi used a chakra pulse to disperse the mist.

Why didn't he do that earlier? The rising pressure of killing intent being released by the two Jounin was considerable, and Naruto could feel/see that Sasuke was about to kill himself to make it stop. Sakura could barely feel it, and she was a hairs breadth from pissing herself!

"Sasuke, calm down!" Kakashi commanded, breaking Sasuke out of his panic attack. "I won't let my comrades die- I'll protect all of you."

Naruto felt one of the minds move in closer, at a very high speed, and let himself fall into the Rise. Everything slowed down as he sped up, his eyes burning as the psi cycled every part of his body faster and faster, going from 'fast' to 'ludicrous' in fractions of a second. The air felt like it was thickening- and from a certain point of view, it was. It couldn't get out of his way fast enough.

As the enemy ninja came down, slowly, into the center of the circle, Naruto placed his fist where the man's crotch would be. With his rise up, he got to watch as 150 lbs of ninja carrying over 200 lbs of sword slam at nearly 90 miles an hour into the equivalent of a steel bar, crotch first.

He was almost cut in half before Naruto decided to pull his arm out, returning to normal speed as he did so. It was obviously a clone- a water clone, judging by his wet coat, and lack of blood or viscera.

Time returned to normal speeds, and the clone splashed between the Genin and bridge builder, startling them.

"Damn water clones." Zabuza commented, having been unable to see what killed his clone. "Still- more fun for me!"

Kakashi pinpointed the nearest voice when Zabuza had spoken this time, and rushed towards it, planting a kunai in the rather surprised-looking man's stomach- only for that Zabuza to turn into water.

Another Zabuza appeared directly behind him, already swinging the man-sizes sword to cut him in half. With no time to dodge, Kakashi was cut in half and immediately turned into water.

Zabuza felt the point of a kunai on his neck from another Kakashi immediately after.

"It's over, Zabuza." Kakashi stated confidently.

"Yes, it is."

Kakashi, possibly realizing that the response was not what people facing death usually said, or utilizing the finely-honed instinct that a ninja gets from not dying for more than two decades, stabbed and ducked.

It was a wise move, as his stab revealed the water clone and the large blade just missed bisecting Kakashi again.

Natuto made a few clones.

As the blade buried itself in the dirt, Zabuza proved his mastery of the weapon, using the extra leverage afforded to slam a kick into Kakashi, knocking the silver-haired Jounin into the lake. Taking advantage of his opponent's inability to move, the shirtless ninja flashed through a few handseals. "Water release: Water Prison Jutsu!"

Kakashi had wondered why the water felt so heavy. He had just processed the fact that fighting a water-centric ninja this close to a decently-large body of water when the water wrapped around him like a living thing, encasing the Jounin in a sphere.

"It might only be a prison of water, but it's stronger than steel!" Zabuza gloated as he held one hand in the sphere. "You won't be escaping anytime soon, and now, all I have to do is get rid of the brats."

"Take the bridge builder and run!" Kakashi urged them. "He can't move as long as he's holding this prison- so just run!"

"Neat." Naruto deadpanned. "So, I have heard of compensation, but DAMN!"

"I don't need to move to kill your- what?" Zabuza stopped moving as his mind processed that statement. "What did you say?"

"I was making an observation about the serious compensation issues you must have if you carry around a sword bigger than you are." Naruto grinned, in the just the right way that made ANBU in Konoha begin to twitch. "That, and you are now a stationary target." Every single clone of him also grinned as the original said one word. "Ears!"

Sasuke, and Sakura both covered their ears.

Zabuza began to feel that he had missed something.

Naruto considered his next move- he hated the idea of announcing an attack, but it would add an amusing symmetry to everything. He signaled his clones.

"Uzimaki Secret Art: Clone Impact!" The clone Naruto's chorused, right before a series of thunderclaps shattered the relatively quiet battlefield as they vanished.

"Uzimaki? Oh fu-" Zabuza knew what he forgotten when the first clone hit him with the force of a falling anvil- then then other ten hit him, all at different angles. Bruises didn't form- they hadn't had the time to do so. Bones, despite the chakra-reinforcement, cracked in multiple places as they experienced impacts that they were just not built for.

Then the shockwaves hit along with a final clone. The ninja was picked up and tossed like a leaf in a gale, skipping over the pond and landing in some trees on the bank fairly close to the Genin. Well, 'landing' was not the right word for it- more like tumble arse over teakettle until he hit a tree. His body twitched slightly as the thunderclaps died away.

Naruto lost all his clones in an instant, but it was worth it- Zabuza was probably out cold, if not effectively dead. Still, he had better go check. "Stay here." He addressed his teammates. "I'll check to make sure Zabuza is down."

Kakashi appeared on the bank, still soaking. "No, Naruto- I'll finish him off if necessary." He pulled out a kunai, and walked over to Zabuza, intent on killing the ninja if he was not already dead. "Find peace in Death, Zabuza-" he stopped.

A couple senbon flicked out of the trees, and imbedded themselves in Zabuza's neck. His body twitched once, then went perfectly still. A small figure wearing an ANBU-style mask jumped out of a tree and picked up the corpse. It bowed to Kakashi. "I thank you, Konoha-nin, for your assistance in the death of Zabuza Momochi- and I apologize for not getting here sooner. He seems to have caused quite a bit of trouble."

Kakashi eye-smiled at the hunter-ninja. "Hehe... Don't worry about it hunter-San-" he stopped talking briefly as he saw Naruto point with a kunai and raise two fingers.

The hunter-nin, with two one-handed handseals, body-flickered towards the massive sword- but there was already a Naruto there.

And now there were many Naruto there. The original picked up the sword. "Now, Hunter-Chan... Where are you off to?"

Said hunter-nun looked around, the all-concealing black ANBU-like garb and mask containing any body language or facial expression, before body-flickering away again.

There was silence for a moment, then "Dibs."

Kakashi looked at the blond Genin with an expression of confusion. "What?"

"Dibs. I called dibs." Naruto picked up the massive, and now slightly cracked, slab of iron that was called a 'sword' with one hand. "Dibs. See? Did it again."

Everyone's faces were easy enough to read, even without his Trance field.

Tazuna looked like he was trying not to laugh.

The Uchiha was looking around with his nose in the air, pointedly ignoring everyone and everything in his superiority, despite how superfluous he had been in the fight.

Sakura was looking poleaxed, the only thought going through her head was _How did the dead-last do that? Wait, why am I thinking about Naruto at all?_ She quickly went back to chattering away at the Uchiha, apparently unconcerned that she had almost died a couple minutes ago.

Kakashi fell to one knee as the fight finally took its toll in the man. "Damn... Looks like I used too much chakra. You guys are going to have to carry me." He didn't sound particularly sorry as he folded up like a badly-made portable wine rack, but that might have been because he fell onto his face. "Sorry."

"Not it."

Sakura and Sasuke glared at Naruto, but he didn't care at this point.

"I think I know a girl in Konoha who would appreciate this sword- after all, she doesnt have anything she needs to compensate for.'

Tazuna burst out laughing at that point, unable to hold it in.

* * *

 **End Chapter 8**

* * *

Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. It was fun to write!

Please review- it really encourages me to write more, and give us writers ideas if we ever get stuck.

Thanks!


	9. Chapter 9- Babe in the Woods

(A/N- start)

So, I noticed not too many reviews in the last chapter. I really thank you guys who did review, and the more the merrier.

Still guys- us FF writers really take a lot of satisfaction from getting the reviews. And inspiration! You would not believe how short or simple my stories would have been if I hadn't read a review that gave me a way to get around the annoyances that is writers block!

Please remember- if you can, review. Even if you only have criticism, if it's said politely, then it helps.

As always, flames will be sacrificed to the flame God, and if I ever figure out a way to punch someone through the Internet, the flamers will suffer my wrath.

To wit: I will begin harvesting their testicles or ovaries through said Internet. I'm not discriminating on this.

If y'all don't like it, don't read it!

Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

I don't own Naruto, One Piece, Team FourStar, Psyren, or any other major thing yet. I am sketching out the design for a videogame, but I doubt that idea will go anywhere.

(A/N-end)

* * *

"If you're leaving scorch marks, you need a bigger gun."- Maxim 34

* * *

 **Chapter 9- Babe in the Woods**

* * *

Hinata was enjoying her time away from the rest of Team 8. To be fair, she spent at least 12 hours a day away from them- but she was not being watched by the Hyuuga guards, nor was Kurenai trying to escort her.

A nearby plant vase shattered as she passed, and Hinata drew herself inward, packaging the emotions for later. Getting angry wouldn't solve anything- even if it was anger at the Hyuuga clan in general.

"What's wrong Hinata-chan?"

Hinata looked up at the ramen bar, and smiled slightly. She was here. "J-just thinking Ayame-chan..." She placed some ryo on the counter. "Could I get a miso?"

"Sure!" Ayame assembled the ramen quickly, and placed it in front of Hinata. "So..." She said conspiratorially. "How far have you gotten?"

The kunoichi's mind went to several different places. She turned red. "U-Um... W-What d-do you mean?" She was trying to suppress her stutter, but it was difficult- especially because of the R-rates images going through her head.

Ayame grinned knowingly. Among the group, everyone knew about Hinata's naturally dirty mind- but that was not what she was talking about. "I got to step three on burst." She whispered, and held her hand just within Hinata's viewpoint. Within it, a small silver seed emerged from the palm, glowing and writhing slightly. "How far have you gotten?"

"Byakugan!" Hinata's whispered Justu activated her Doujustu, and she spent a second looking around. When her mental gaze fell. On the construct in Ayame's hand, she stopped breathing.

It had a chakra network, pulsating like a heartbeat, and there was a draw around it- not a whirlpool, but something was dragging on the world of chakra, dragging on the all-pervasive glow of her vision, and she could see streams of... Something, being pulled delicately out of the air and absorbed by the construct.

It sprouted a tiny bud, growing like a plant, and, as she watched, began to unfurl into a leaf. Chakra was being pulled into the tiny thing, and the intricate structure reminded her of some sort of clockwork- but on a scale far smaller than even the finest smith could construct. Bits were sliding against other bits, areas were rotating that looked static if you didn't focus on them- it was an eye-bending structure, and it was to the eye like a fine meal was to the tongue.

"Wow." That was the only thing she could say. "Wow."

Ayame, who was unable to see what Hinata saw, closed her hand, snuffing the burst construct and absorbing the tiny amount of energy it had accumulated. "I know! I can feel how hungry it is, and how it wants to grow." She kept her voice soft, but was excited.

Hinata shook her head, and turned off the Byakugan. "Five."

Ayame blinked, surprised. "Show me."

Hinata poked her fingers together nervously. "Not here- it's more flashy than yours."

Ayame drummed her fingers on the bar countertop for a moment, before untying her apron and putting a small sign on the counter. She walked into the back room. "Dad, can I go talk with Hinata?"

The sign said, in a very clear script, _Back in a few minutes_.

"Sure." Teuchi replied as he walked into the bar, tying on his own apron as he removed the sign. "Be back by the start of the lunch rush."

"Thanks Dad!" Ayame hugged her father, picked up a scroll that was hidden between two pans, and walked out from behind the bar. "Come on time's wasting!"

The two psychers talked about inconsequential things on their way to a deserted training field, but they still picked up a tail.

Ino Yamanaka, Konoha Genin, watched the two kunoichi from behind a bush. As the self-professed Gossip Queen of Konoha, the fact that Kiba of all people had to bring this to her attention was rage-inducing. However, that didn't stop her from tailing the two girls. She had to know why the Hyuuga Princess would spend any time at all with a commoner like the waitress.

 _Hinata and a ramen stand waitress? What do they have in common, and why are they spending so much time together?_ Ino cycled various theories of how the two might have meat, and why they had spent so much time together. She knew that one of the more crazy Jounin-

A slightly-dopplered shout of "YOUTH!" interrupted her thoughts. She froze, not wanting to get the attention of the spandex-jumpsuited Jounin.

Once the flamboyant yell had died away, Ino returned her attention to the two girls- only to find that they had vanished.

"Damn!" Ino stamped her foot in frustration. "Where did they go?" _There was no nearly-naked lady Jounin this time to spirit them away, so where did they go?_

Above her head, one standing upside down on the street lamp and the other grasping it with one hand, Ayame and Hinata waited for Ino to lose interest.

It took a while.

"Thank Kami I spent the time to learn Rise." Ayame muttered under her breath. Although, she did not want to stick around- civilians were not supposed to be able to imprint their fingerprints into iron.

* * *

Ten minutes later, in the deserted training ground 7, Ayame and Hinata pulled open the scroll. Unlike most sealing scrolls, instead of visible designs in black ink, the entire surface of the scroll appeared black, with simplistic symbols in the pure white of the background paper color.

Hinata activated her Byakugan, held it for a minute, then nodded- no-one within her rather considerable range.

Carefully, both girls sat down, one on each side of the partially-opened scroll, and touched a symbol that looked like a circle with a dot in the middle of it. There was the impression of movement, and then the ink began to crawl up upon itself, forming a slight hump in the page. After a moment of reorganization, a tiny light formed- less than the flame of a candle-end, and flickered once.

Then twice.

And a third time.

Then more.

It changed through all the colors of spectrum, and suddenly blossomed into a white flame, illuminating the two was needed though, as now there was a black dome surrounding them about eighty feet out from the candle flame.

"That is incredibly weird." Ayame stated as she stretched, her body making all sorts of satisfying popping noises.

Hinata took a deep breath, pulling her stuttering under control in the darkness. "N-Naruto-kun makes the oddest seals." It was a good one though- it prevented all sound and light from leaving the area, while keeping the 'image' of what was happening in the contained area constant and cycling the air.

"So... I wanted to see your Burst!" Ayame couldn't help break into a smile- this stuff was awesome! Even her tiny trees, which she couldn't yet fully control, were gorgeous- and satisfying. She barely needed food anymore, as the silver seeds would just send any energy they collected straight to her. "You were on level Five?"

There were Ten levels of learning how to use Burst- Feel, Concentrate, Project, Release, Define, Control, Range, Burst Stream, Modify, and Nova. Ayame had only gotten to the level of Project (physically making the burst real), but hadn't gotten it fast enough yet.

Hinata poked her fingers together for a moment, then reached out with a hand towards a rock that was within the dome. She imagined her psi as a grasping hand, compressing air within it tighter and tighter until it shimmered slightly, then propelling it down at speed. The Define level reflected the conceptual understanding of what was happening, and allowed her to manipulate the construct at a slight distance.

The stone crunched under an invisible impact, and shattered. Bits flying in all directions as the hyper-compressed air met rock and won.

Placing her index fingers to her thumbs, Hinata focused on the next part of her burst- instead of a sphere, now it was a cube she was compressing. Technically, that was part of the Control step, but she had not mastered it yet.

Once it was formed, she gingerly hopped up on it, seemingly floating on nothing in the dim light.

Ayame whistled. "Damn Hinata, that's one awesome ability."

The heiress bowed slightly. "I try-" she slipped off, the construct destabilizing from a cube into a sphere, and landed like a cat. "Aw... I thought I had it that time."

Ayame flicked a finger, and an almost-invisible construct the size of a sesame seed shot into ground. "We have some time to practice." Ayame stated as the first shoots of the silver plant began to suck the life from the grass that was around it. Her nose began to bleed slightly from the concentration she was exerting, but the efforts would be worth it.

Hinata nodded. "Shouldn't we contact Naruto-Kun?"

Ayame lost concentration on her construct, causing the glowing silver stems and leaves to evaporate like a mirage. "Yes! Yes we should!" Walking over to the scroll, she unrolled it a bit more until she saw the symbol of a white plus sign.

Dozens of them.

Touching one of the symbols with a finger, Ayame channeled chakra into it like Anko had taught them. There was a puff of smoke, and a Shadow Clone of Naruto was suddenly in the dome with them.

He scratched the back of his head in confusion. "What's up ladies? Is everything alright?"

Two Rise-powered tackle-hugs nearly popped him, but Naruto had figured out long ago how to allow his clones to use psi. He was always up for hugs.

* * *

Naruto smiled as he sat at the table, having just received the memories of one of the scroll-clones. Hinata and Ayame were very nice people- and did not deserve being locked in a culture where they had to kill to survive. Hopefully, if his plan came to fruition, they would all be able to vanish from the world of Shinobi entirely. Carefully, he pulled out a scroll and began drawing a new seal- a portable paralyzation tag. Explosive tags were common, but other types were not- and he had to jerk the seal out of the way as a hand tried to grab it.

Sasuke held out his hand. "Give it to me, Dobe."

Naruto's eye twitched. One of these days... "What?"

"Give me the sword." The Uchiha demanded. "I know you sealed it into something. Give it to me."

"Yeah! Give it to him Naruto-Baka!" Sakura had to back up her crush. "A dead-last like you doesn't deserve to keep it when it could help Sasuke get stronger."

The blond twitched slightly, and a divot was scored in the wood under his hand. He had sealed away the sword, and then had been forced to carry Kakashi since the other two refused to do so. Maybe if he was larger, or more obviously dangerous they would have complied, but neither the pinky or emo seemed to want to help anyone. "It is mine, Sasuke-teme, and unless you are willing to pay through the nose for it I am not going to surrender it to anyone."

Kakashi woke up with a groan and tried to move. He failed miserably. "I guess I really overdid it with my Sharingan... I can't move."

Tazuna's daughter, Tsunami, came over to the reclining ninja. "Shinobi-San, are you alright?" If there had been any more concern in her voice, she would have been sobbing. "You were brought in by two Naruto, and I could not wake you up!"

"Just chakra exhaustion." Kakashi said mildly. "I'll be able to move after a night's sleep and a good meal- though not in that order. Team Seven!"

Naruto had to repress a smirk as Sasuke and Sakura snapped their heads towards their Sensei.

"I won't be able to move for a week. However, you need to train." Kakashi looked at Sakura with his single natural eye. "Sakura, you did not actively participate in either fight- that must not happen in the future." His eye swiveled like some sort of weapon, and locked onto Sasuke. "Sasuke, while you did well against the Demon brothers, you froze during the confrontation with Zabuza. That must not happen if we met him again!" Kakashi ignored Sakura, who was protesting that Sasuke would have been more help if the Dobe hadn't beaten him to Zabuza, and let his eye rest on Naruto. "Naruto... We need to talk."

The jounin's stomach gurgled.

"After lunch."

It was an awkward meal. Inari, Tsunami's son, was a quiet, moody boy who managed to match the Uchiha glare for glare and brood for brood. Halfway through the meal, the small boy glared at the ninja, stood up, and disappeared upstairs.

Naruto had kept his Trance active, not dropping it for a moment since he had left Konoha. It was because of this that he felt Inari's mind spiral inwards, becoming more and more depressed/angry throughout the meal, until he left in order to keep from snapping at his mother's guests. "Is Inari all right?" He asked quietly- he knew the kid wasn't, but the very act of asking the question often helped those who answered, and both Tsunami and Tazuna were on the verge of breaking down as it was.

Tsunami held back a sob as Tazuna looked sadder and older than he ever had during the trip here.

The old man pulled out his last bottle of sake. "A few years ago Wave was prosperous. We were a transit port- ships would dock here and at the other villages to take on fresh water, food, and other supplies. But then Gato came." He poured some for Tsunami and himself- but he didn't drink it. He just stared at it. "He began purchasing the dock facilities, and ran the other wharf areas out of business by letting ships dock for less. When his competitors couldn't feed themselves, Gato purchased their businesses at a fraction of what they were worth. When he had the docks, he purchased the major farms, then stopped selling food from them. Now only his ships visit our docks, and our village is the last one that hasn't been completely bought out. Inari's father-figure tried to resist, to drum up support so that people would fight him, but Gato had him disemboweled then beheaded in the town square. As a 'warning'."

Tsunami broke down.

Naruto had been taught the utility of Logical Thought- Oh-Seven would never have let any child of hers remain stupid- and unless Gato wanted to have his own private island, forcing the denizens to die or leave was not a good economic practice. People make wealth, and even if they don't make money, they make goods- so why kill off the people who make everyone more well off? Gato didn't make sense. Then there was the bridge... How was it supposed to help? "How is building a bridge supposed to help?"

Tazuna blinked. "Um... Because we would be able to control it? The design of the bridge and its placement would allow ships to offload cargo easier, and onto a main trade road for easier access to and from the land of Fire. It costs less to upkeep than the wards because of the tide cycles, and ships could move through both faster and safer." He looked a little happier. "We could set our prices, and it's built to be fortified in the event someone tries to take over us again."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted. "You should just realize when you have your betters around you and do as they demand-CRACK! GRAAA!" Sasuke held his broken jaw, face bone white as he tried to keep his jaw from moving while he vocalized his discomfort.

"Damn Sasuke." Naruto could barely keep from laughing. "You said something so stupid that your jaw broke." Not a complete lie- a pinpoint thrust of Psi had broken the teme's jaw in three places, but Naruto would never had done it if the teme hadn't said something that stupid.

Sasuke was trying his best to glare at Naruto, but the bruising on his jaw and tears in his eyes from the pain rather ruined the effect.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled, and tried to help the Uchiha. Due to the genin's lack of willingness to accept any of her help, she just managed to knock them both to the ground- a groaning heap of Genin.

Naruto silently laughed as he took it all in- until Sakura raised her head to glare at him.

"Help Sasuke-kun, you Baka! As the last Uchiha, it's your job to help him in any way he sees fit!" She declared.

"... What am I supposed to do?" Naruto asked, honestly curious. He couldn't write healing tags yet, and he didn't know any Justu that could help. Psi was also out of the question- he could share his healing Rise, but only if someone was willing to let him in... That, and he also hated Sasuke.

Really, really hated the teme.

"Help him!" She shrieked.

Naruto shrugged, and hit Sasuke in the jaw gently. He passed out. "What?" Naruto asked- everyone was staring at him in incredulity. "He's not hurting at the moment."

Surprisingly, Kakashi began to laugh. He had to stop quickly though. "Ha... Ha... It hurts to laugh." He gingerly pulled himself out of the chair, and settled on a few blankets on a small bench-like protrusion on the wall. "Naruto, will you wait here with me until everyone leaves? I need to talk with you."

The blond shrugged. "Sure. You are my commanding officer after all."

That statement somehow made Kakashi very, very depressed. "Yes..."

It took a while before everyone else left the room. Tazuna eventually took his bottle to the porch, Tsunami (with the help of several Naruto-clones) began to clean up and put away the dishes, and the two other Genin (both glaring bloody murder at Naruto) went to separate rooms upstairs.

Well, Sakura tried to get into Sasuke's room, but he managed to keep her out.

"I'm not going to sleep in the same room as either of those two." Naruto said flatly after the last echoes of Sakura's pleading vanished. "I'll sleep on the roof or something."

"Naruto... How did you do that?" Kakashi's voice was not unfeeling, just... There were odd harmonics in it. Frustration.

"Do what? Decide that those two might harm me?" He gave Kakashi an expression that clearly said 'What the fuck do you think they would do if given half a chance?' "I like not being perforated, and would go out of my way to make sure it didn't happen."

"How did you make the clones move that fast?" Kakashi demanded, his fists clenching impotently. "Tell me! Now!"

"Clan Justu." Naruto replied simply.

The Jounin snorted. "Yeah, right. Try again."

Naruto silently picked up the Jounin's discarded flack jacket, and pointed at the spiral symbol.

"Tell me how you did it."

The Genin rolled his eyes, but answered. "I created a four-D gradient around my clones in the direction of indicated movement."

"That doesn't mean anything to me!" Kakashi growled. "Handseals, chakra pulse patterns, who taught you- those are the things I need to know!"

"There are no handseals- and it is too a clan Justu!" Naruto snapped. "I created it, it is my technique, and I do not have to share it with anyone."

"If you don't share your techniques with your teammates, you weaken them." Growled the Jounin. "Ninja who do not care for their teammates are worse than trash."

The blond rolled his eyes. "Why should I care about them? They had no interest in being nice to me, and as far as I can tell they would kill me if either of them thought they could get away with it." He looked pensive for a moment. "Actually, you know, I even think you would try if you could get away with it." He informed the Jounin. "But you won't remember this."

Kakashi's eyes widened, then rolled into his head as a clear snake-like shape shot out of Naruto's forehead, and impaled his own.

Naruto grinned as his trance spike pierced his sensei's mind, extracting everything useful into the sphere-like protrusion just behind the fork sticking out of the Jounin's head. Chakra exercises, the feeling of channeling all five primary chakra natures, and several forms of locomotion all were absorbed gleefully- then he came across the memories of Kakashi and Sarutobi meeting after the sessions where he had been knocked out.

It was all he could do to not just pulp Kakashi's head then and there.

Fighting the urge to kill him, Naruto left two programs in Kakashi's mind in addition to wiping the last few minutes of conversation and letting Kakashi fill in the rest.

Program 1 would force Kakashi to teach them- he had not planned to until after they failed the upcoming Chunin exams, and that was something Naruto would not stand. In addition to Program 1, Program 2 would force the adult ninja to believe that Naruto's clan meant something- making him stop prying into the increasingly more powerful psi forms Naruto wanted to practice.

Grinning in a not-so-slightly manic way, Naruto removed the trance spike from Kakashi and quickly absorbed it. No-one had seen anything, and after his asshole of a Sensei returned to consciousness, he made his excuses and left.

He had a chunk of forest to destroy.

* * *

Fire was good at destroying things- especially when overpowered. And if Naruto was good at one thing, it was overpowering things.

* * *

As night fell, it found Naruto napping, his body coated in an inch of compressed carbon and a trance-based suggestion disguising it. It was a safeguard he had been working on the past few weeks- well, one of many. He had already learned the healing meditation that could take the place of sleep (but was much more efficient) and had stationed transformed shadow clones around the perimeter of the new clearing.

It was nice, quiet, and safe.

* * *

Haku was cursing herself for not bringing any weapons with her. She had been picking herbs, and had had stumbled across this clearing- with a sleeping boy resting against one of the slightly-burned stumps.

She was not incompetent, and had easily recognized him as the one who had managed to incapacitate her master. Reaching out slowly, preparing to strangle him, she stopped. This was too perfect- was it a setup?

And now she couldn't move.

"You know, in your place, I personally wouldn't strangle someone." Flakes of ash twisted away from the boy, and he stood up, completely unconcerned. "Stomping on their neck is a better course of action- even if they are not completely incapacitated by the pain, or killed outright, the distraction would make any follow-up action easier."

Haku tried to move, speak, something- but whatever he had done was preventing her from moving an inch.

"So..." He flexed his fingers, and his skin darkened to the color of charcoal, which rippled into a series of scales. "What are you doing here?"

She found that she could move her mouth now. "I... I was picking herbs... For a friend... He's very ill, you see."

"And you were going to try to kill the poor little boy who was sleeping all alone in the forest." The blue eyes opened finally, boring into Haku's own. Then he shrugged. "Okay, sure."

The pressure that was restraining her released abruptly, and she stumbled. When she had looked up, the boy was sitting cross-legged on a charred stump."Are you a ninja?"

"By trade? Yes." The boy scratched his chin in thought for a moment. "Although I am planning on a change of career."

Haku pulled herself up, and looked around. There were many useful herbs in this field. "Aren't you afraid you'll get killed?"

"Not particularly." The boy grinned widely. "I am rather good at not dying- it's a matter of practice, you see. And I have had a lot of that."

"I see... So why are you here, ninja-san?" Haku put a little quaver into her voice, playing the terrified but determined peasant. It wasn't hard- she had never been immobilized to that degree.

"To protect the bridge builder... Well, that sounds rather stupid. Maybe kill that Gato character and take all his shit." He nodded sagely. "Yeah, I'll do that. It'll move up my plans by alot. And you, nurse-san?"

"To protect my precious person." She looked at him under the curtain of hair. "Do you have a precious person ninja-san?"

"A few. Not the other ninja I was with, but some elsewhere." His eyes narrowed very slightly. "Of course, you know them already, hunter-chan."

Haku stiffened- out of fear this time. He knew. He knew and she had no weapons! She turned to run, but felt herself be restrained again- and then lifted, somehow, slightly off the ground!

"Leaving so soon, hunter-chan?" He walked around her, and stood where she could see him. "It would be rude to leave without introductions! I am Naruto Uzumaki, and you are...?"

"Haku... Haku Momochi!" What was he thinking? Was he going to rape her? She couldn't stop him if that was his intention- he was the apparent cause of her immobilization, and she couldn't fight it.

"Haku? That's a nice name. Now, Haku, are you aware there is a seal on the back of your neck?" He closed his eyes again, still completely relaxed.

 _What is he talking about? Zabuza-sama never said anything about a seal anywhere on me, and I didn't apply one to myself!_ She lost herself in thought as Naruto kept walking around her, planning ways to get out of this- Zabuza needed her! After a few cycles, she felt like she was tipping, and was now facing the sky.

Then she felt something touch the back of her neck, and she panicked. "L-Let me go! I need to go back to Zabuza-sama!" She tried to wriggle, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fight whatever was restraining her.

"You need to help his broken bones mend?" Naruto clarified. "Oh, don't look so shocked- I know exactly what that Jutsu was supposed to do. Well, give him my regards... Oh, and tell him I have his sword." He grinned, eyes still closed. "See you soon, Haku-chan."

Haku felt herself be released, and moved as fast as she could to the edge of the clearing. She ran, ran away from the confusing, scary boy and back to her home. To the man who had picked her up from the brink of death and gave her purpose.

 _See you soon Haku-chan._ The words followed her back, preying on her mind. When she got to the edge of a small pond, she called up her Demonic Ice Mirror Justu, and vanished, reappearing in the hide-out where Zabuza was recovering from his fight.

"Zabuza-sama, we have a problem."

"..." The bandaged ninja groaned very, very slightly. When he spoke, he spoke in a whisper. "What is it this time?"

* * *

Once he felt Haku use her Jutsu, Naruto stretched out his Trance like a searchlight, focusing it from a cloud around himself into a beam, and swept the island. Haku's mind was easy to find- the seal forced a very distinct shape in the cloudy thoughts- and he nodded to himself when he found her fussing over another mind. That would be Zabuza.

He sent the cone of awareness around the island, getting a feel for the layout.

There was Team Seven, along with Tsunami, her offspring, and Tazuna- just waking up now. A few miles away, he felt-saw the minds of the townspeople, all scared out of their wits to some degree. Some smaller, distinctly thug-like minds were in town, causing pain and anguish wherever they went- but there was a steady trickle too and from somewhere else...

He followed the trickle of thugs and smiled. There was Gato's base of operations.

It was time to be a ninja.

* * *

Gato's henchmen were, well, thugs. They were not needed for infiltrating a city, but keeping it- enough muscle to be dangerous for civilians, and enough guile and brains to just maintain the threatening stance, but not enough actual strength or intelligence to try becoming independent.

In other words, thugs.

They never noticed when two were intercepted on route from the town to the base.

* * *

Naruto and one of his clones walked in, under a transformation to appear to be Jon and Jin- the two brothers he had immobilized in the forest.

Well, they were paralyzed and held under a trance coma by a clone, for later disposal. He would have to remember them, or else they might starve to death. That would be a waste of human life.

Both Naruto and his clone snorted, being connected via a trance wave like they were. Yeah, the J brothers were horrible, horrible people- rapist/murderers who really enjoyed both activities. They would probably be handed over to the townspeople.

Without the trance spikes sticking in their foreheads.

He and his clone sauntered in, past the first array of guards, then the second, and into the inner sanctum. It was a fairly impressive manor, and had probably been the Dyamos before Gato took it over.

Suddenly, both Naruto and his clone stopped. Having a trance-network setup between his clones meant that they were all of one mind, and their trance awareness spheres meant that he had multiple layers of himself looking for things. It also meant that where they overlapped, he had greatly-increased 'resolution'.

And there were several dozen minds in the compound that, due to their proximity to the thugs, had been unseen by their first pass. They were terrified, disgusted, and some of them were almost suicidally depressed.

He could feel where several minds had curled in on themselves, and the thugs were engaged in something that apparently took up a great deal of concentration near their bodies.

Wordlessly, he split up with the clone- who would investigate the odd mental signatures. The original Naruto continued on, following the feelings of expectation, annoyance, and confusion that the thuggish minds had as they clustered around the smartest mind in the building.

"Jin? Whatchu doin here?" One of the thugs asked, large eyebrow creeping up the man's relatively small head. "I thot dat yous got paid yesterdy?"

Naruto was glad he could mimic Jin's speech patterns without being actively aware of them- the trance network allowed him to do so much. "Yah, but der vas sum truble in town, and I'z reporten it to da boss."

The large man nodded slowly. "Yeah... Datz a shame, it iz." He perked up a bit. "Hey- yous brining dat hal-beardz on tursday? Some ov da odders want to see dem."

Naruto had to run that through the brains of the J brothers. Ah- they liked halberds. "Yah! We'z gonna bring em." He confirmed. "Yous bringn da crusher?"

The man grinned, and grabbed his hammer. It looked like a chunk of rock on the end of an iron bar. "Yous known it!"

Naruto grinned, and walked away down the corridor. Then his clone discovered what the minds were, and who they were. He had to grab control of himself lest he just begin killing people. "Hey Shi?"

"Yah Jin?"

"Da 'entertainment'- have yous gone to dem?" Naruto asked, like he was just inquiring.

"Nah- not yet. But when dis job's over, I'z got a few set aside!" The man sounded proud of this fact.

Naruto returned to walking, but flicked a pin-sized delayed burst at the man. Within four hours, he would explode (but leave his head intact)- and the people who saw his face would explode (same thing- no head)- and so on. For several days. He would have to warn the villagers about staying away from this place for a while.

Naruto really, really didn't like rapists. Or the people that facilitated them.

* * *

Gato was finishing up some paperwork, while several of his thugs stood at variations of attention, sweat beading on their foreheads. He relished these moments- moments when he could go out of his way to make these idiots sweat for their stupidity.

"Sir-" one of the thugs attempted to speak, but Waraji had a blade under his chin in a fraction of a second.

"Did Gato-Sama tell you to speak?"

Ah, good old Waraji. He and Zōri were smarter than the average person, and good enough fighters that they had been ideal as bodyguards. They had three major traits that made them good at their job.

They were loyal if paid.

They were vicious in a fight.

And they liked money. Gato had lots of this, so he could afford their, rather steep, rates.

He settled the stack of papers he had finished, and put them in a folder. Only then did he turn his attention to the thugs standing there.

Wait, was there one more thug than before? He shrugged, then slowly stood up. If they wanted to be in here when he was reprimanding, he wouldn't stop them.

"You moronic imbeciles!" He shouted. "What is my one rule?"

"Anyting odd we tell you 'bout!" They chorused. "Immediately."

"And you all broke it!" Gato snapped. He turned on his heel, and walked up to thee sweating man on the end. "Tell me why I shouldn't have you all killed now?"

"Sir?" A man on the other end of the line raised his hand. "I'z had a reason."

Gato marched over to the man, and pointed to his ear. "What is it then? Tell me, you piece of shit!"

The man swallowed, then whispered in a voice filled with terror. "Because, Gato, there is a ninja in the room."

Of all the things that the shipping magnate had been expecting, this was not it. He jumped back, and slammed into his desk. "What! How? Where?"

The man looked around, then straight at Gato. "Here."

Everyone in the room, except Gato and the strange thug, sagged on their feet, supported by something unseen, but otherwise out cold.

The man poofed into smoke, and a grinning blond child was standing in his place, wearing the most terrifying grin that Gato had ever seen.

"Now, Gato- we are going to have a nice, long chat about your corporate policies and the future of the companies under your control..." The boy's voice slithered inside his head and grabbed him by the part of his brain labeled 'primal terror', then spread out to the 'alpha detected- submit' reflexes and the bit of his brain that controlled his colon. "And you will be lucky to live out the next fifteen minutes."

The boy bowed.

"I am Naruto Uzumaki- your judge, jury, but probably not your executioner. Yet." He looked around, and, then finished in a conspiratorial whisper. "As a ninja, I try to make sure that my client is satisfied... And they have some grievances to exact upon you."

"Don't you mean 'discuss with me'?" Gato quavered.

"No. No I do not."

* * *

 **End chapter 9**

* * *

Wow that was fun to write! I was going to add in another fight scene, but instead, well, I'll let Naruto actually be subtle.

I hope you all enjoyed, and I hope you all review. It really helps the creative process- your ideas, questions, and views make this very rewarding and easier.

Take it easy!


	10. Chapter 10- The Balance Of Power

(A/N- start)

Did you know that one 'Hitler' is a unit of measurement that is measured as being responsible for 6*(10^6) human deaths?

I wonder how the characters in Naruto measure up..

Oh- before I forget- Naruto isn't actually that good at Trance. I can't explain why in this chapter, but I will in the next. Hint: it has to do with the mechanics of how Trance works.

I don't own Naruto, or Psyren. Wish I did.

Enjoy the story!

(A/N- end)

* * *

"Don't just pay it back- pay it forward. With interest."

* * *

 **Chapter 10- The Balance of Power**

* * *

Anko was one hell of a ninja. Everyone who knew her knew that she would readily admit this- and be completely justified. She was twenty pounds of awesome on a ten pound bag sort of awesome and sexy lady.

Today, her A-rank mission was simple- intercept a party of Samurai Trainees as they entered the Land of Rivers, then kill them all. Not too hard, but the requirement of 'no headband visible' was an interesting one.

Still, as she leapt through the trees, she contemplated various ways of killing her targets. She could always just poison their food- but where was the fun in that? Maybe she could summon a large snake and drop it on them when they are near a cliff? Push them off with her summons.

Her precognition tingled, and she felt a burning sensation over her entire body. The momentary discomfort was not enough to take her down, but it was enough for her to slip slightly, and rather than jump to the next branch, touch down upon her current one.

Anko was confused. She knew, from spars with Naruto and the other girls, that her precognition could be set to warn her of impending actions, strikes, or deathblows- depending on how much effort she put into into it. At the moment, she should have only been aware of things that might have killed her, or seriously wounded her... _This calls for a different approach._ She thought grimly.

Anko reduced her chakra presence, and, crawling from tree to tree, stealthily maneuvering as close to the convoy as she could without breaking her cover.

What she saw terrified her.

There were samurai trainees- wearing their training clothes and with their colored belts indicating their status among the other trainees, all meditating in a cart. But in the carts flanking them were two fire monks, wearing the red robes of their monastery, and carrying the intricately-carved platinum-inlaid staves that they habitually carried.

And then there were the two fully armored samurai, riding in armored chariots being pulled by massive armored horses.

She opened her precognition wider, allowing the next second or so of non-dangerous movement to filter down from the possible futures, and grinned. There was a hole in their security.

It was an odd one, but only one that she could only exploit because she could see slightly into the future.

Otherwise, she would have just summoned one of the larger snakes to crush their cart, then hid until the guard had stopped searching.

Explaining exactly what she saw would be nigh-on impossible, as the mix of potential choices spread out like a massive root system before her, but it highlighted one of the largest weaknesses of the Monks and Samurai. The Samurai with their chakra-absorbing armor, and the Monks with their, frankly insane elemental Jutsu, both couldn't see into the ground, and neither were chakra-sensors.

Anko preformed the appropriate seals, and whispered the name of her technique out of habit. "Attack Prevention: Hiding Like a Mole Jutsu."

She sank into the ground like it was water, and, after a moment's movement through the warm darkness of the earth, rose up directly beneath the cart. She easily kept pace with the cart, the horses moving at a slow canter, and quietly adhered an explosive note to the wooden surface. With a single handseal and a tiny exhaled flame, Anko lit the tag, and retreated into the earth again.

She surfaced in time to hear the explosion. Now all she had to do was wait- patience was key to being a ninja.

Anko vanished into the ground as one of the monks made a sweeping motion with his staff, and a wave of flame blossomed, igniting the forest with a single pass.

She reappeared after the initial wave had gone, only for her precognition to warn her of something sharp and painful bisecting her via her stomach. As Anko pushed her Rise up, she only just managed to dodge the buzzing blade of one of the Samurai- and then a wave on incompressible air hit her.

 _Wait, were they using Rise?_

She dove into the earth again, this time intending to get out of harm's way before- the earth around her fractured as two of the supercharged warriors attacked, slicing through the ground with their buzzing swords.

Anko dove as deep as she could go, and then set off for somewhere outside the zone of destruction. _A-rank? This should be S-rank at least!_ She thought as her Jutsu dragged her through the earth like a ghost. _And unless I get a proof of death, I'm not going to get paid._

With that thought in mind, Anko turned around, surfaced for a gulp of air, then dove again, angling towards the wreckage of the cart.

When she surfaced again, the monks were both facing away from her, and the Samurai were still searching the burned forested area where she had been. Quietly, she approached one of the burned corpses, and reached out to snag the training necklace with a kunai.

The corpse opened his eyes, and gasped for air- which quickly turned into a gurgle as she cut his throat. But it was enough- the monks burst into flame, completely enshrouded by their power, and turned to see her, holding the necklace of one of their charges.

Two staves pointed at her, and two finger-wide whips of flame, burning with a white heat, scythed towards her.

But Anko was already running, jumping, and cutting the throats of every downed trainee, her precognition allowing her to stay just ahead of the constructs. These were Fire Monks, who they, as ninja of Konoha, were supposed to be allied with. And the FireBird Samurai were also supposed to be their allies- why was she sent on an assassination mission against them?

One of the monks slammed his staff against the ground, sending a wave of flame over it as the other monk disconnected the firewhip from the end of his staff, turning the fiery construct into an octopus-like figure with nine burning tendrils.

Anko dove into the ground, resurfacing only after both monks were not looking at her, and grabbed another training necklace.

Then, exactly as any half-decent ninja would do, she shot back into the earth, and got as far away from the rampaging monks and as possible.

* * *

Naruto had to get away from Gato's compound. As it was, he was an inch from slaughtering every single man there- and, as he walked out of Gato's office, he passed Shin- the rather large man who he had booby-trapped with a pin-sized burst construct. A subtle manipulation of his power was enough to alter the construct- when it was in the 'infection' phase, it would target and detonate only men in the immediate area who saw the head of one of the last victims.

He left several clones behind, and they barricaded themselves in with the 'entertainment' before he left the area. Naruto had no intention of being caught up in the bloody events that would soon occur, and so teleported back to the woods just outside Tsunami's house.

After all, cleaning this trench coat was a job and a half.

* * *

In Konoha, the clocks were just striking 5 am. In the Hyuuga compound, Hinata Hyuuga stretched as her alarm went off. She was not a light sleeper, and often spent the morning in a semi-malaise as she went about her daily tasks.

This morning was no different. She quietly wound the clock, got out of bed, washed herself, declined the branch house maid who offered to dress her, dressed, then ate breakfast in the communal kitchen. It was at this point, that she noticed her cousin, Neji, waiting for her to finish.

After finishing the last heavenly cinnamon bun, she delicately, as befitting a member of the Hyuuga main house, stood up and addressed her cousin. "Good morning Neji-neesan. Is there a problem?"

Neji shook his head very slightly, the light glinting off his shinobi headband. "No Hinata-sama. However, your father wishes to test you against your sister today, in the main courtyard. Now."

"Thank you Neji-neesan." Hinata walked out of the kitchen, followed by Neji, and stopped when she came to the edge of the courtyard.

The Hyuuga compound was designed as a form of mini-town, with their own walled fortress-like structure surrounding the fairly large internal areas. Within, the main house had a single, large building to use, which stretched three floors up, and swept around two large arm-like structures to semi-engulf a main courtyard. In the area between the wall and the Main House's building, there were several dozen smaller houses, each one two floors high and relatively square.

Hinata's eyes swept across the courtyard, and she noted the four Main House elders, her father Hiashi the clan leader, her sister Hanabi, and a few of the older Branch House members, all sitting and waiting.

Neji walked over to a place just behind the Branch House members, and sat down.

Hiashi frowned at his eldest daughter. She was becoming too laid-back for a Hyuuga, and soon would be unsuitable as the next potential clan head. He needed to nip this in the bud, otherwise the elders might use this opportunity to seal one of them. He had promised his dying wife that he would try to prevent that sort of thing, and would not let the elders make a liar out of him. "Hinata, you have been charged with neglecting your training these past two weeks."

Her eyebrows raised. "Father, I have attended every required session of training every day- to the extent where I have had to spend less time training with my team or one of the village Jounins."

"That is part of the problem!" One of the elders snapped- she thought his name was Kyro. "The Hyuuga style is the pinnacle of ninja combat, and above reproach! There is no need to learn anything else!"

She took a deep breath, and calmed her nerves. These last two weeks had been a significant help to her confidence. "With respect, honored elder, that is incorrect." Hinata stated, to the shock of those watching. "The Hyuuga style is strong, but we are short-range fighters at best. A long-range fighter who can maintain their range can exhaust even the best of us, and a lack of ranged ninjutsu means that unless we know the Kaiten, we could be easily killed off by the right combination of destructive ranged ninjutsu. I have been learning skills that focus on compensating for those flaws."

Her father was silent as he considered this- she didn't know about the other, secret, main house techniques. However, the other elders were more fanatical about their style, and, being aware of their secret Jutsu, began to ramble about how she of course wouldn't know the true strengths of the Hyuuga, being so lax in her training, etc.

A vase in the corner shattered- but, with the cacophony the elders were causing, only a few branch members noticed. Everyone noticed the rain of blood, as birds in the sky above them imploded in gory splatters.

Hiashi activated his Byakugan, and, with blood vessels around his face standing out, he directed his attention upwards and saw... Spheres? Yes, spheres- they started out large but shrank rapidly, and anything within was crushed and liquefied.

"Father, honored elders..." Hinata was positively glowing with... It didn't look like chakra, as it sank into the slight-luminescence of the background instead of flowing through the chakra network. "I would like to head out to meet my team again. May I leave?"

Her father was about to let her go, but one of the elders, Byakugan engaged, preempted him. They had seen the effect as well, and we're not able to understand it.

"No! You will stop this... This... Jutsu, and tell us how you learned it!"

With a slight smirk, Hinata stopped compressing the air, and the liquefied birds dripped on ground around them like a fine rain. "I didn't learn it honored ones- I created it, while studying with Miratashi-san."

"The snake whore?" One of the elders asked- only to flinch back as a semi-spherical depression, maybe half an inch around Hinata's feet formed in the tiled surface with a loud crack.

"Elder-san, please do not insult one of my sensei's." Hinata calmly replied. "She has taught us much about how to use our chakra, and-"

"Who is this 'us'?" Hiashi demanded. "Who else may be learning from that traitorous kunoichi?"

"Is this important, Father?" Hinata asked, sounding generally curious.

Hiashi turned away from her briefly. "Because I don't want you around her, or that blond brat she has been seen with. It's bad enough that her roommate is your teacher, but no Hyuuga has turned traitor before, and none will now!" He turned back around to face his daughter, and froze at her glare.

Her voice was so cold that- yes, ice was actually forming on the tile beneath her feet. "Father, you are the head of my clan- but if you speak of my friends like that again..." The ground cracked underfoot again, and this time the circle of compressed tiles and earth doubled in radius, the promise of retribution in every shattered inch of earth.

Hanabi, Hinata's sister, was sitting on the ground with the rest of the observers- and she was shaking where she sat. Hinata, to the best of her knowledge, had never been able to do... This! Any of it! Where did she get enough chakra to crack the earth like that? How did she cause the bloody rain? And where did she get the sheer balls to stand up to their father? She never had before!

(But we, as the readers, all know. In order- Psi training, Psi training -mostly with Burst-, and Psi Training alongside Anko.)

(Psi power progression is very, very steep if trained.)

Hiashi's face twisted very, very briefly into what would have been seen as a mask of rage if anyone had been watching him. However, his training as the Hyuuga clan head made sure that his lapse wasn't more than a fraction of a second long. "Hanabi." He said calmly, his voice not wavering or showing any emotion at all. "You will demonstrate your progress of training on Hinata. Hinata, you will do the same."

Hanabi stood up, and bowed to her father. "Yes Father." Then, when she had walked a short distance away, she turned and, professionally dropped into the initial Juuken stance of their clan's premier martial art.

Hinata turned to Hanabi, her glare quickly replaced by a look of slight sadness. "I am sorry we have to do this sister." She stated, and slid gracefully into the same stance as her sister. Both activated their Byakugan, and waited for the other to make their move.

Hanabi was the first to move, blurring slightly with the acceleration, but Hinata slipped into her heightened Rise state before her sister had even cleared half the distance.

From Hinata's perspective, everything had become slightly red-tinted as her Psi sped up every single process to superhuman levels. Every breath had to be measured, every step delicate, as she gently shifted her sister's hands out of position by brushing past her wrists. She felt like she was moving through molasses, but that was just the effect of moving at this speed. Her gentle taps at just under the speed of sound left pressure-clusters at every movements' apex, pushing Hanabi out of position as she stepped in.

Gently, trying very hard not to hurt her sister, Hinata tapped several of the glowing dot-like end points on her sisters' chakra system, immobilizing her limbs without causing permanent damage.

Then, Hinata dropped out of the Rise, and held her little sister in a hug as she sagged. Hinata smiled slightly, her nose bleeding as the quick ramp-up took it's toll on her.

As Hanabi sagged, her limbs not responding, Hinata whispered in her ear. "It's alright Hanabi-chan. I didn't want to fight, and, well, that didn't count as a fight."

The elders and Hiashi (who, along with most of the observers, we're watching with activated Byakugan), looked poleaxed. Hinata had for a tiny fraction of a second, glowed with chakra that cascaded out of the first four celestial gates, which filled her body to the brim before she blurred into invisibility- and then the fight was over.

It was as if the gates of Opening, Healing, Life, and Pain had flickered, just for a moment being completely open, before mostly shutting. However, the gate of Healing was still partially open, and the internal damage they could see was vanishing as her body shunted the strange not-chakra to the major muscle groups and neuron clusters.

What really confused them was how the not-chakra didn't spread out from her tenketsu (places where chakra usually left the body), but rather flowed from her head out to her limbs, and straight out through her skin. About an inch or so out, the not-chakra gave the impression of fading into the background 'noise' that every Hyuuga saw and had to deal with... But none of the watchers knew what it was.

Hinata wiped the dripping blood away from her nose, and, after placing her sister on the ground in a comfortable position, said, quietly and calmly, "I am going to go check in with my team now." She bowed. "Good morning Father, Elders." And left the compound.

After a few minutes of silence in which there was only thought and the sound of Hanabi breathing gently, one of the elders spoke.

"She is adapting heretical ways- that... That was not Juuken. It must not spread."

The other elders nodded in agreement, and a different one spoke directly to Hiashi.

"Hiashi-sama, it is the decision of the Council of Elders that, tonight, Hinata have her chakra and that, that not-chakra sealed! Once this is done she will be re-educated, sterilized, and re-assigned to the Hranch House."

Hiashi was unable to conceal the rage this time, and the tips of his fingers began to glow a slightly dark blue, almost purple- chakra reflected emotions after all. "You will not tell me how to act in my own clan, elder Scho! I am the clan leader-" he flared his Byakugan at the old man, "-unless, of course, you want to challenge me for the position? No? Then My Word is the Last Word for any such decisions of succession!"

Elder Scho took an involuntary step back, but didn't waver. "Nevertheless, she has learned skills that are heretical to the way of the Hyuuga, and corrupted the Juuken. The punishment for doing so is clear- no-one who corrupts the Juuken may ever pass on how they did it."

The deep blue glow subsided, and Hiashi nodded stiffly. "This is true..." He turned to his youngest daughter, who was still struggling to move on the floor. "Very well... Hanabi, you will succeed me as the head of the Hyuuga clan."

The elders bowed to the surprised nine-year-old. "As it has been said, it is now a said thing, Heiress Hanabi."

The rest of the watching clan members bowed with them.

* * *

Sarutobi and Danzo watched each other from across the desk, a game board in front of them. It was a very old game board, and had been handed down from Hokage to Hokage since the founding of the village.

And it was singularly unique, as it had two games on it, but only one surface. Every few turns, randomly, it would switch between Shōgi or Go, and the pieces would be moved into equivalent patterns.

To win the game, you had to not only be able to play both games, but beat your opponent as quickly as possible, in the fewest number of moves... Because the moment you put down a piece, it could change which game you were playing- and often did at the worst possible times for either player.

It was a great game for ninja, and relied on luck, skill, and misdirection. Too bad the secret of making the GoShōgi boards was lost when Kushina Uzumaki died.

Danzo put down a white piece, and the black line flipped over automatically. Then, with a flicker of discontinuity, the board changed, and now... "Well, shit." The old Warhawk swore quietly.

Sarutobi smiled, picked up his silver general, who was now behind Danzo's King, and placed it in a spot one square up and left. "Check."

Danzo moved one of his promoted rooks, and placed it between his King and Sarutobis' silver general. "Canceled."

Sarutobi smiled, and moved his general back and to the side.

The board shifted back to Go, and Danzo placed one of his pieces- and realized that he had no other moves he could play.

Sarutobi grinned as he placed a single Go piece- and captured one of Danzo's larger groups in a non-ko-violation move.

"How is progress with the boy?" Danzo asked suddenly, shattering the silence. He was out of check now, and was taking advantage of it.

"Progressing." Sarutobi absentmindedly answered as he placed a piece, and the board shifted back to Shōgi. "My crystal ball can't lock onto the boy anymore- I have to monitor it in real-time if I want to watch him. The eavesdropping seals placed in his clothes short half an hour after he puts them on, and none of the ANBU who have been assigned to watch him have been able to catch him doing anything untoward."

Danzo placed a piece. "Yamanaka's still unable to touch his mind?"

Sarutobi nodded as he considered his next move. "Yes. How's your infiltrator doing?" He placed a piece.

Danzo smirked slightly. "Quite well. There is a girl in that ramen stall he likes to frequent, and she recently moved into an apartment. Kihiro is getting closer to this 'Amaya' under the pretense of becoming her roommate." He moved a piece.

Sarutobi rubbed the bridge of his nose as the board changed again. "Thank kami. Kakashi has been less than helpful at this point- his idea of 'humbling' the boy was to knock him out every day with the application of vastly superior force." He placed a piece, and a few of the captured enemy pieces vanished. "At least he stopped a few weeks ago."

"Well, it might work for, say, that pink-haired girl." Danzo commented. "But his mindset is obviously used to confrontation, and is unlikely to be cowed in such a way." He placed a piece, and captured a small contingent of Sarutobi's pieces.

"The problem is that Naruto doesn't seem to trust me." Saratobi continued, placing a piece and watching as the board flipped again. "Years of careful information release and manipulation all wasted."

Danzo shrugged, and moved a piece. "See, this is why your plans don't always work Hiruzen. Too complex."

Hiruzen Sarutobi moved a pawn. "Well, it's not like your plan was any better, Mr. 'Torture The Kid With A Restraint Seal'. Your Root has gotten the attention of some Chunin, and you know how they gossip."

Danzo absentmindedly scratched at the bandages covering half his face as he moved a lance. "At least they do their job- a loyal force that cannot betray the village."

Both ninja paused for a moment, then started laughing.

"Alright, enough jokes." Sarutobi said after they both managed to stop laughing. He moved one of his rooks. "Naoto Higurashi has been sending in routine reports of Naruto's expenditures. Did you know he can somehow acquire large amounts of platinum?"

Danzo almost choked. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah." Sarutobi say back, and pulled his pipe out of a drawer. "He has been providing quite a bit of the stuff to Naoto, and has forced the price of chakra-enhanced weapons down significantly. The village has made more money in the last week than the last three months by just selling the raw stuff through different dealers."

Danzo slid forward his gold general silently. He just looked at Sarutobi.

"I thought so too. If this gets out and becomes common knowledge, the fact that he has a bloodline will also get out." Sarutobi moved another pawn, and the board shifted again. "Then those damned 'clan preservation acts will apply to him- and we cannot afford that."

Danzo raised his visible eyebrow. "You still haven't repealed those?" He placed a piece on the board.

Sarutobi groaned. "You have no idea how much paperwork goes in to my job. I swear the Fourth made things so much more time consuming than they needed to be..."

Danzo chuckled. "I thought it was the First's problem- he wanted civilians to have some control over events since they were living here."

Sarutobi laughed mirthlessly. "I doubt any other Kage has this problem."

* * *

In the village of Kumo, the Village Hidden in the Clouds, the Raikage, a man who never skipped any exercise (ever!) was doing paperwork with one arm and lifting weights with the other.

He twitched, threw the weight through the door, then flipped his desk.

His assistant, a rather attractive kunoichi with a Kumo headband, looked in through the hole in the door. "Is it that time again, Ai-sama?"

"Yes, it is that time again." The large man growled. "Time to cull the civilian councilors who tried to hoodwink me with paperwork. Why do we even have a civilian council anyway?" He raged, sparks of lightning flicking off him and scorching the walls, floor, and ceiling. "We live at the top of a mountain!"

She opened the door, and gathered up the smoldering paperwork. "Well, not everyone can be a ninja."

Ai, the Raikage of Kumo, slapped himself in the face. "Of course not..." He sat back down on his steel chair- wood would have been ash at this point. "I doubt any other Kage has this problem."

It was at this point, Ai's brother, the Jinchuuriki Killer B, sauntered in. "Yo bro, I got a sick rhyme that might help you pass the time-" he mercifully stopped when his brother embedded B's head in a wall at speed.

"Not now B."

* * *

Haku was agitated. Very, very agitated. From what she could tell, Zabuza had four broken ribs, a cracked sternum, some internal bleeding, a dislocated knee and shoulder, a broken arm, broken femur, broken fingers, a fractured skull, and, judging from the significant bruising along his spine, possible fractured spinal bones.

She couldn't treat most of this! Even with her best herb mixtures, it would take weeks, if not months, for the bones to heal properly- not even counting the fact that the internal bleeding, though small, might kill him first. That's not even mentioning all the shredded muscles, or burns, or concussions.

"Haku..." Zabuza tried to sit up, and swayed. "I need you to promise something for me."

She was immediately sitting in a subservient position. "Yes Zabuza-sama?"

"I will probably die soon." He flopped back down, and felt another fractured bone snap. "I taught you as best I can. Whatever happens, make sure that you stay alive. That is an order Haku!" He demanded when he saw that she was about to protest, and coughed a bit. "Our contract expires in eight days, and then we don't get paid. I know I won't be able to take out the bridge builder like this, and the resistance needs the money."

He held up a shaking hand as Haku was about to interrupt again.

"They need the money. Get it to them- and get my sword back, if you can. The Kirigakure rebellion will need you."

"But I am Zabuza-sama's tool!" She exclaimed.

"Very well." He placed a shaking hand on Haku's head. "Then find a better master to wield you." He chuckled. "You know, that sounded much better in my head."

Haku really didn't know how to respond to that.

* * *

cNaruto sighed contentedly as he watched the fountains of blood from a safe distance away. He knew he was a clone, but he didn't mind- none of him did. With their trance network, every clone linked to every other clone and the original- and they all shared the same mind.

It was comforting, in a way. Created for a task, but knowing throughout the entirety of your creation that you are not alone, and will never be alone... It allowed a form of peace.

He giggled psychotically as another fountain of blood appeared. NarutoPrime had been rather vindictive with his little time-delayed construct. It wasn't very powerful for a Burst attack, but it did the job.

More specifically, its' job was to heat the persons' liver to a few hundred degrees in a fraction of a second, causing it to turn to gas very, very quickly.

To be honest, he had no idea how much heat was being used to turn the liver to gas, but it was a lot.

Anyway, the gaseous liver then attempts to expand- very, very quickly, and inevitably exits the body in at least one place. Usually more than one place, as other bits also become either vapor or cooked when in contact with the liver as it attempted to leave the body by any means nessesary.

As one can imagine, the results were messy. Also amusing- they sounded like water balloons popping! (If water balloons were filled with lots of internal organs and bones.)

Then there was the screaming. The head of each person who exploded had their brain fried of course- but not for a few minutes. During that time, anyone who saw the head (and the resulting horrifying expressions of a still-working brain on the face of a decapitated head) would probably scream, and would definitely explode within three seconds or so.

Gato had hired several thousand men for this job. After five minutes, he had maybe fifty left.

cNaruto smiled as he watched the detonations slow down. The cleaning bill for that fortress would be horrendous- that is, if Gato could pay for anything.

NarutoPrime (the original recipe), smiled as he walked into Tsumani's house, and fingered one of the storage seals in his jacket. He had all the deeds to Gatos' assets (the man was a shrewd businessman, and paranoid as all f*ck, carrying around his documents in a modified storage scroll), and would soon have more money than he had ever thought was possible...

"Hey Dobe!" Sasuke shouted from a window in the house. "Where were you?"

"Oh, you know..." Naruto smiled the smile of a person who made the world, in a not-so-insignificant fashion, just a little better. "Taking a nap- and an enthusiastic walk through the woods."

Kakashi limped out, supported by two crude crutches. "Naruto! Good, you're here. I don't have to say this twice. Team Seven, we are going to do some training today."

Naruto raised his hand. "Sensei, what about Zabuza?"

The Jounin waved a hand dismissively, then wavered and almost fell over. "He is probably still recovering, like I am. Your Jutsu hurt him badly- and it'll be more than a week before he's up for full strength. Broken bones don't just heal overnight, after all." He eye-smiled, causing Naruto to wince- that still looked really weird. "So who wants to learn how to climb trees?" Kakashi asked in a sing-song voice that was entirely too cheerful for comfort.

* * *

 **End Chapter 10**

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.

As last time, the more reviews, the faster we are encouraged to write. (It makes our muses stop moping)

Feel free to ask any questions, or ideas that might make this story more entertaining. Flames will be fed to the flame god.

Enjoy your weekend!


	11. Chapter 11- Mechanics

(A/N- start)

Hey guys,

So- ya'll know that Kung Fu Panda movie? The most recent one? I just realized something fairly weird.

The Panda Village is a Hidden Village- full of Ninja.

Panda Ninja.

I wrote that and spent five minutes laughing.

Hehehe... Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any other source material. Wish I did- I wouldn't be applying to so many jobs.

...

I really want to find a job.

Enjoy!

(A/N- end)

* * *

 **Chapter 11- Mechanics**

* * *

Ayame put down the vegetable, and poured them into the pot. She was working in the back of the ramen shop for one simple, and overwhelming reason.

She HATED PEOPLE, and felt an overwhelming desire to kill them in order to get them to stop broadcasting their thoughts around her.

See, in the last two weeks, Naruto had been showing Ayame, Anko, and Hinata how to use their Psi-based abilities, while Anko showed them basic ninja stuff (walking on trees, walking on water, how to jump and run like a ninja, etc.). And it turned out that while Anko and Hinata were good at using Rise, she was good at using Burst and Trance.

Specifically, Ayame had found that her instinctive Burst technique was insanely flexible, and she could 'hear' the moods of people's thoughts if she looked at them. Well, 'hear' isn't the right word, more hear/feel really.

As a fairly attractive 16 year old girl, the thoughts that flashed through most people's heads when she looked at them, quite frankly, made her feel like she needed to take a shower.

Lots of them.

Some of the ninja were okay- they were more paranoid than anything else, and it showed in how their minds worked. But others, like Kakashi, and most civilians, were always to some degree thinking about smut. It was disconcerting, especially since she was more adept at Trance than even Naruto, and often felt/experienced the images and concepts they had in their minds rather than see them.

She didn't have a lot of Psi capacity- she was a civilian chef by trade, and even Hinata could muster more force than she could. But with practice, came sensitivity- and with sensitivity in Trance, came dexterity. Naruto had all the mental dexterity of someone wearing thick gloves and semi-paralyzed with his trance work, while she had the mental fingers of some sort of masseuse.

Ayame groaned as she felt the presence of one of the dog-ninja. One of the Inuzuka. Their minds were always a little more... Focused than most, and she could almost see the structure of the mind separated by that wall.

And now she heard him. "Hey old man, is Ayame here?"

"No Inuzuka-san." _Ah, good old dad._

"I know she's here. Why can't I ask her out? Just one date?" The pitiful whining got to Ayame fairly quickly.

"She isn't interested Inuzuka." Her father was really good at being polite when he wanted to crush someone's skull. "Now, either buy something or leave- I only have so many seats here."

"Kagemaru-" that was the name of his ninja hound, the Inuzuka's trademark, "- can smell her here." There were a few short barks. "In the back."

She could feel his mind, and what he wanted to do to her- NOPE. She quickly formed a small spark of light in her palm, and worked herself through the process of creating a ThoughtSpike.

It was the simplest form of Trance technique- and looked like a completely clear tuning-fork of a spike with a sinuous cable that melted into the nearest surface. Only those who tuned their own trance could really see it, and even then, the cable melted into the background after ten feet or so.

It wasn't able to really interact with the world- but it didn't need to. The spike only had one purpose- to act as an interface.

Two Psychers joined by a ThoughtSpike would end up engaging in a battles of wills, with the Spiker having a not-so-insignificant advantage in the conflict, as they could end the invasion if they so wished, and had, for lack of a better term, an 'in' on their opponent. However, a ThoughtSpike that joined the minds of a Psycher and a normal person had no such difficulty.

Rather, the strength of mind that the person had (on top of their level of self-awareness) regulated how significant changes that a Psycher could feasibly implement.

So Ayame, who had a talent for these sorts of things, could insert rather complex instructions into the mind of her target while Naruto, despite his power, could only insert simple instructions. Deleting things was easy, as was extracting information. But modifying them? That was hard, as the person's mind actively

The difference? Well, in the earlier chapters, Naruto managed to Spike Kakashi, and was only able to add on the idea that he (Naruto) might have a bloodline to the general concept that bloodlines were good things. Anything more significant, and the jounin's subconscious might rebel from an idea that was too different from how the man usually thought.

Side effects of an improperly-done Spike included but not limited too: burning, itching, oozing, weeping, berserker-like rage, a lack of all sorts of restraint, the loss of higher thought processes, and a willingness to (let us be frank here), skull-fuck everything in sight after killing it.

Not a good thing. At all.

Naruto, not being that good at this sort of thing, was only able to implant simple concepts and commands- the importance add-on was one of them, as it wasn't even a complete concept or command. The idea of Fear was another- and one that he utilized to great effect in weakening Gato's mind in order to implant his suggestions. The concept of 'Sleep' was another good one, with the added idea of immediacy being enough to shut off most people like a light.

Unfortunately, even asleep, Kakashi's mind was just strong enough to hold off too much alteration- at least, from Naruto.

Ayame was better at it, and, as she sent the spike through the wall and into the head of the annoying dog-ninja, she sculpted the complex instructions to her new thrall.

 _Begin commands._

 _Concept: Ayame Ichiraku is not interested in men who smell like dogs._

 _Continuation: Ayame Ichiraku is not interested in Masaru Inuzuka._

 _Command (Hidden): If you hear the phrase 'I am a pretty little princess', you will stop what you are doing, and sing the I'm a little teapot song until someone knocks you out._

 _Need Modifier: You are now addicted to dog treats, cat food, and ramen._

 _End commands._

Ayame grinned evilly as her ThoughtSpike rooted itself in the mind of the ninja, who blinked as his mind rebooted, and walked off with his ninja hound walking sedately beside him. That last command might have been tricky, but the change was over so fast that his subconscious didn't have time to register anything was different before the programming came online and began to change how the man acted.

That thought caused her to stop giggling, and sit in thought. If Naruto or one of the others went into a high-speed rise first, then triggered the ThoughtSpike's download, would it be able to bypass the mental immune system like her normal spikes did?

It was an interesting thought.

In fact, that was what the 'Nova' class of Psi Techniques were supposed to be able to do- by bringing all three levels of psi up to their maximum, then containing the energy, the body would transfer into a somewhat-mist-like state, as physical matter became the same sort of energy as the background noise. Strength in Rise or Burst would be usable through Trance, the body would slip through physical objects as Trance bled into Rise, and Burst would respond with the same speed and ease as both Rise and Trance.

As Ayame stirred the Ramen Broth, she wondered about how she could modify the Nova state... She shook her head, and, after walking out to the front of the stall, placed a small, glowing seed on the counter. In seconds it had taken root and sprouted, turning from a poppy-seed to a small flower, which blossomed in fractions of a second. Then, focusing carefully, she channeled her Trance into the flower, and directed a single, simple, compulsion that would be transmitted to everyone who passed the shop.

 _Ramen is delicious_

Hey- all's fair in love, war, and the fast-food industry.

* * *

"Kakashi, we all know how to climb trees." The Uchiha stated bluntly. "Teach us something useful."

The Jounin waved a crutch in the Genins direction, and barely caught himself when he swayed. "Ah, but can you do it without any arms?"

Everyone except Naruto watched in amazement as Kakashi walked up to a tree, and, without breaking stride, walked smoothly up the trunk- crutches and all.

Now, hanging by his feet from the underside of a branch, he looked exceptionally comical. Oddly enough, the spiky mess of his hair looked completely normal for a guy who was standing upside down. "The trick, my cute Genin, is to extrude just enough chakra from the bottoms of your feet to stick to the tree. You also may need to send chakra to the muscles in your back, stomach, and neck in order to maintain your position." Gracefully, he dropped, flipping around and landing on his crutches with almost no noise. He eye-smiled. "Now, you try!"

"Um... How do you recommend we start?" Sakura after after no one moved.

Kakashi rolled his eye, and threw three kunai at their feet. "Start running as you channel chakra. When you reach the tree, run up it. Use the kunai to mark your maximum height."

Sasuke immediately grabbed the kunai, and ran towards the tree, getting four steps up before being tossed off, a small divot in the bark. He turned in midair, and landed with a quiet 'thwump' noise. The Uchiha frowned, made a "Hm..." Noise, and began again.

Sakura was about to begin cheering for the last Uchiha, but a warning glance from Kakashi (and a small pulse of Killing Intent) dissuaded her of that notion. Instead, she grabbed, the kunai, jogged straight up the tree, and had to perch on a branch to get her breath back.

Naruto looked at Kakashi, looked at the tree, then back at Kakashi again, and finally turned back to the tree. Calmly and deliberately, he looked at Kakashi, and walked up the tree. Backwards. Then let himself flop down, and adhered to the trunk.

Sakura glared at him. "Baka! If you already knew how to do this, you could have helped Sasuke!"

Glaring at Naruto, Sasuke threw the kunai away with a grunt. "Useless."

Kakashi looked rather surprised (well, the bits of his face that were visible looked surprised at any rate). "Naruto, how did you know how to do that?"

"Anko taught me." Naruto replied with his eyes closed.. "She showed me how to do this, water walking, and land skating."

"Get over here then." Kakashi ordered, and watched in amazement as the tree that Naruto had been laying against exploded backwards, throwing Naruto forward like an arrow, which landed, almost soundlessly, in front of him. "You know, you should have offered to teach your teammates this stuff if you knew it already, Naruto."

"Why?" The blond asked, honestly curious.

"Because, as a team, you need to trust in each other's abilities." Kakashi stated patiently. "The team is stronger than the sum of its parts, and if member of the group trust each other, they teach each other their strengths and weaknesses so that they may cover said weakness more efficiently."

Naruto turned to the pink-haired Genin. "Sakura, do you trust me?"

She didn't even dignify him with a reply.

"Okay... Sasuke, do you trust me?"

"Fuck off Dobe!"

"That would be a no then." The blond looked at Kakashi with an almost pitying look in his eyes. "Sensei, I don't think they would listen to anything I have to say. Sakura's too busy fangirling to listen to anything I say, and I don't think Sasuke is willing to learn from anyone who isn't an Uchiha."

Sasuke stood up, grabbed a kunai, and walked over to Naruto. "That is the last time you will besmirch the name of the Uchiha, dead last." He brandished the knife within half an inch of Naruto's throat. "Apologize."

"Sorry, but I have to say this." Naruto grinned. "Faceplantingbitchsayswhat?"

The Uchiha barely had time to say "What?" before he was inhaling soil.

"And I think they will try to kill me in my sleep." Naruto continued, as if he hadn't just shoved his teammate into the somewhat sandy soil beneath their feet. He jerked a thumb at Sakura. "I know she will."

Sakura looked enraged beyond any point of sanity. "Naruto-Baka! How dare you harm Sasuke?" She pulled out several kunai, and, with all her strength, threw them at him.

His feet didn't even move. Naruto just bent around and caught all three of them in one hand- without looking. "See? Sensei, I think our team is not particularly balanced... If not in skills, then in temperament."

His arm blurred, and the branch Sakura was standing on was now several feet shorter. With an "EEP!" She was clutching at the bark, now deathly scared of her teammate, but unwilling to be seen as having weakened in front of Sauke. "Naruto, you teach Sasuke everything you know!" She shrieked. "Or I'll tell the Council that you have been deliberately causing harm to one of the clan heirs!"

Naruto could almost see the concept he had forced into Kakashi's mind take effect. Clans in Konoha were important- they had rights, and specialized assets that were protected. The clans had specialized Jutsu, and usually some form of good that they produced of an exceptional degree- the laws around clan structure allowed them to differentiate and remain powerful in Konoha. Some examples? Well, the Nara and Akimichi clans were perfect for this.

The Nara were shadow-users that managed herds of deer- which served as both a delicacy and as the base of a titanic number of different medicines. This was on top of, historically, being strategical geniuses.

The Akimichi clan were premier chefs, and because their Jutsu were designed to utilize fat in the body as a direct power source, they had developed several types of commercial food pills, for both civilian and military use. Everyone used their pills- and bulk orders of them led to lots of trading out of Konoha.

Naruto, having stated that he had both an 'Uzumaki Secret Art', and since he had a way to support himself (ninja did get paid), he could apply for Clan Head Status. Kakashi knew this, and, well, despite the fact that he fully expected the council to deny the boy's status, he knew that it was not a law that one risked lightly.

After all, if Naruto did acquire clan status by some miracle, then he could sue Sasuke and Sakura- potentially getting their holdings, Jutsu, even future children or bloodlines in a sufficient settlement. Of course, Konoha didn't have lawyers (they died off during the reign of the second Hokage in mysterious drowning events), but if he hires a Nara to aid him...

"Sakura, if Naruto acquires clan status, and he brings up the fact that you tried to get him to give up his personally constructed and family-owned Jutsu, how badly do you think the council will come down on you?" /Despite the fact that the boy is a little tit./ Kakashi added in the privacy of his own head.

Her face paled even more than it was already. "U-Um... n-N-Naruto wouldn't do that!" But there was the uncertainty in her voice.

"The Dobe has no clan, and cannot get one." Sasuke pulled himself out of the ground. "Compared to the Sharingan, all bloodlines are worthless, but even compared to the other ninja clans, the Dobe is completely usele-" his face imbedded in the ground again, this time cracking his only slightly-healed jaw.

"Sasuke, do you like the taste of earth?" Naruto asked mildly. He was amused by this- the boy just did not seem to learn. There was also the ability to speak- he had expected that to be impaired by the broken jaw.

As Sasuke rolled around on the ground clutching his jaw, which, by the sound of it, had healed somehow. Well, it was broken now, but in the short time Naruto had left it had healed. Or been healed.

Kakashi knelt down, grabbed the protesting Genin, and, with a green-glowing hand, wrenched his jaw into place. Then he held it there, causing the sound of cracking bone to be heard, and when he released the boy, he flexed his jaw a bit.

"Dobe..." Sasuke growled, but was held back by Kakashi's crutch.

"Sasuke, stop attacking your teammate." Kakashi scolded. "We are not sparring right now. Save it for your enemies, either in a spar or in combat."

Sasuke glared at both teacher and fellow Genin, but nodded in acquiescence. "I understand Kakashi-Sensei."

Kakashi relaxed, and sat down. "Good. Now... Naruto." He glared at the boy. "Why did you have to harm your fellow ninja? You must never attempt to harm them unless outside a spar!"

"He had a kunai at my throat." Naruto didn't even really sound angry at the admonishment. Just... Resigned. "And I wasn't going to let him tarnish the good names of the other clans in Konoha." _One part truth, one part bullshit._ Naruto mentally chuckled. _Wow... He really thinks I am just going to sit here and take it?_

"In penance, you are to spar Sasuke for ten minutes." Kakashi eye-smiled at him. "Your hands will be tied, and he will be allowed weapons. No jutsu- that means body enhancement, or elemental manipulation, may be utilized. If this rule is broken, half of your pay from this mission will be suspended. No deadly blows may be allowed- it is a spar, after all."

Naruto's eye twitched. /One day, I am going to hurt that-/

* * *

"-SONOFA BITCH!" Hinata screamed into the wilderness as her teammates clustered behind their Sensei. "And then, I will take a polearm, turn it sideways, and insert it into all of their orfices!"

Shino, being the calmer of the Genin on her team, just had to say something. "That does not seem possible. Why, you ask? Because most humans have fairly small orifices- and at this point, will only have one polearm."

Hinata's face was a mixture of manic rage and what could only be called gleefully psychotic. She wasn't looking at them, but they could hear her emotions easily. " _Oh, believe me Shino..._ " Ok, now her voice was traveling into the 'unholy entity' range. Not of its own accord, but because tree branches were breaking with every word. " _When I am done with them, they will have orifices placed specially for hanging on the polearm... And I will have a very long one._ " She looked pensive for a moment. " _Maybe I'll just place them on iron spikes- face up._ "

Kurenai, her Sensei, shook off the shock that came from hearing the student that was always quiet, meek, and fairly calm, just go in a twenty-minute tirade about how much she hated her father and the council of elders in the Hyuuga clan. "Hinata!" She scolded. "Do you really need to use such language?"

Hinata didn't even look at her Sensei, as she was still glaring at the woods. "Yes, Kurenai-Sensei. I do. And I apologize... However, I have very little time today and therefore would like to complete whatever task we will be assigned with great _expediency._ "

Dozens of trees in front of her collapsed, crushed as though under a barrage of head-sized stone spheres.

She turned around and smiled at her teacher. "Is that alright, Kurenai-Sensei?"

Kurenai's scalding retort was on the ip of her tongue when it just died. She saw, in Hinata's eyes, the sort of insanity that is really, really unwise to cross. "... I suppose we can take the day off?"

Hearing the magic words, Kiba immediately walked up to Hinata, straightened his collar a little, and attempted to ask her on a date, sidling up in a specific manner that made him seem slightly taller than her. "Hey Hinata, why don't you come with me to go get some lunch? Then have desert at my place- hey!"

Hinata took a few steps back, then bowed. She may still be twitching with rage, but she was still relatively polite. "Sorry Kiba-san... But I have prior plans."

"With who?" Kiba didn't see Shino's warning glance- or gestures. "The Dobe isn't here, and that crazy snake lady is gone!"

Suddenly Hinata was in his personal space, and he really didn't have the ability to appreciate it- mainly because she was holding a kunai at his crotch.

"Kiba- _kun_..." She purred, veins around her white eyes pulsating erratically. "Don't you know- when a woman says she has prior plans, you take her at her word?" She pushed the kunai forward slightly, and chuckled as he began to sweat. "Now, please, be respectful of my friends..." The 'or else' went unsaid.

Kiba was glad that he was wearing mesh body armor under his normal clothes- the kunai couldn't penetrate too deep, but there was an unpleasant pricking where the tip dug in slightly. "I got it! I got it!" He squeaked. "No more asking you out on dates!"

The kunai vanished, and Hinata stepped back, beginning to walk away. After a few steps, she stopped walking, and looked sidelong at her Genin team. "Today is /really/ not a good day."

Kiba and Shino went their separate ways, but Kurenai followed Hinata.

"Hinata-chan, you know you can trust me-" She was brought up short by Hinata's look of disbelief.

Silently, Hinata beckoned to her teacher, and they were soon at a ramen stand. "Ayame-chan?" Hinata called.

The waitress came out of the back room, holding a steaming pot of broth. "Good morning Hinata-chan!..." Her cheerful greeting petered out as she saw Kurenai. "This is her?"

"Yes." That one word had, well, not anger, but glacial distain. Entire ice caps of the stuff.

Ayame put the pot down, took off her apron, and tapped her father on the shoulder. After a whispered word, he nodded, and she took off her bandana.

Both Hinata and Ayame spent a minute looking at each other, then simultaneous nodded. As one, they turned to face Kurenai, and spoke with an eerie, echoing cadence. "Come with us."

They led her to an empty field, then her world collapsed.

* * *

The day's training was over.

Well, calling it 'training' was not exactly accurate. Kakashi made it clear that Naruto was not to fight back- dodging was acceptable though. After two minutes in, Sasuke had gotten tired of hand-to-hand combat, and pulled kunai on him.

Five minutes later, his 'teammate' began using fire Jutsu to try and roast him. Naruto kept dodging, and after the requisite ten minutes were up, he noticed that Kakashi didn't stop the fight.

That was six hours ago.

Sasuke and Sakura had taken turns, with Kakashi's apparent consent, or, if not consent, he certainly didn't stop the two Genin from trying to harm him.

He was good at dodging now. (And very happy that he had set several clones to subscribing multiple types of seals into his clothes the day before he had been assigned to this crazy mission.)

As Naruto formed a small flame between his thumb and forefinger, he began to burn through the rope binding his arms behind his back. Currently, his teammates were eating dinner in Tsunami's house- and, according to the sounds of it, her son was questioning why they were fighting Gato.

He wasn't paying attention at the moment- he wanted to get down out of this tree.

With a slither, the rope came off- he had burned through enough of it with his pyrokinesis to slip out of the chakra-wire-enforced rope, but he didn't want to waste it.

Still sitting on the branch, Naruto extinguished the tiny flame, and his fingers began to spark with electricity- which cycled out, then back in, timed to his breath. He felt the field blossom, his psi forming paths from electrons, which sang as they passed through the hair-thin chakra wires. Carefully, he ran the rope through his hands, feeling the minute flaws that always occurred in anything man-made, and gripped them where he could. The field compressed, increasing in temperature as he breathed heat into it, containing the massive increase in temperature with the field itself.

The air shimmered around his hands as he did this, this field dragging on even light in its density. Between his hands, as the rope passed through, it dissolved into dust, becoming tiny flakes of ash in the extreme heat and pressure of the field... And, of course, the liquid platinum and other metals that were used to make the fine chakra-wire that used to infuse the rope.

Iron, silver, platinum, copper, and several other metals were in evidence, their tiny spheres floating around his hands as the rope continued to be refined- and quickly cooled, as Naruto roughly yanked the spare heat out of his little creations. His trance had picked up an approaching mind, and he recognized her.

A minute later, Tsunami walked around the bend in the forest, and stopped when she saw him.

"Naruto-san?" She asked in concern. "Why are you covered in ash? And in a tree?"

Naruto blinked, and then had to suppress a laugh when he saw her face. "It's nothing Tsunami-neechan." He stepped off the branch, and walked down then trunk of the tree. "It's just leftovers from their-our 'training'."

A subtle twitch of her eyes told him that she heard the inverted commas around the word 'training'. "Well, I brought some food for you." She held out a small package, and Naruto took it gratefully.

"Thanks Tsunami-neechan!" He grasped the small bamboo box with one hand, and with the other, he clenched a hand in the middle of the air. The majority of the ash streamed off him, and concentrated in the center of his palm, forming a tiny, almost pitch-black, hexagonal crystal. He held it out to her. "And this is for you."

Tsunami silently took the crystal- it was surprisingly heavy. As she looked at it, her eye began to see intricate patterns, repeating even as they shrank in size. Then she moved the crystal slightly, and an entirely different set of patterns emerged, twinkling in the setting sun. "Thanks... What is it?" She asked, voice filled with awe as she saw greater and greater intricacy in the stone.

"Carbonium." Naruto grinned as he saw her bewildered expression. "Ah- right. That word doesn't make any sense to you. It's a black diamond."

Tsunami rolled the stone around the palm of her hand for a second, before the words sank in. "A-a-a-a..." She fainted.

Naruto blinked, and caught her as she fell. "Alrighty then... Um..." He sighed. "I'm going to have to carry you back to the house, aren't I?" Another thought occurred to him. "Team 7 is not going to take this well if I go back with an unconscious Tsunami."

Gently, he placed her on the ground, and pulsed his Trance- just enough to apply pressure to her mind, without breaking the fragile structure that humans thought of as 'sanity'.

Hopefully.

After a few seconds, Tsunami's gentle brown eyes fluttered open... And she threw the diamond structure at Naruto's chest. "Why are you giving me this?" She restrained herself from screaming- if only just. "That has to be worth more than my entire house!"

Naruto shrugged. "I can make them with a flick of my fingers. It's not worth much to me- just a glittery bauble. I made it from ash, remember?"

And it was glittery. In the setting sun, tints of red, gold, blue, and white flickered across its surface, and it gave the impression that there was a fire trapped within the black stone.

Tsunami tore her eyes away from the stone. "Just... Arg!" She threw up her hands. "Look, Naruto-kun, please don't give gifts like this to people all over the place."

"I don't." The ninja stated, then the tiny gem flew into his hand, and he held it out again. When he spoke next, his voice was deadly serious- and his Trance enveloped her. "Tsunami-neechan, can I trust you?"

She unconsciously placed her hand over the black gem. "Y-Yes?" From her perspective, the universe around them stretched, and sucked her into his blue eyes.

"Then you will keep my secrets." The voice was not that of a boy ninja anymore- it had harmonics that chipped tiny parts off of Tsunami's mind, and what reconnected was slightly different. It was the voice of a god- one of the less respectable ones, with the tentacles and teeth all over the place. A voice of legion- and she could see everything.

Tsunami collapsed, her mind shattered by this slight view of his power.

From his perspective, Tsunami's mind, which usually felt/looked like a cloudy shape (like most human minds), concentrated into a spike, then a sphere, then shattered into hundreds of pieces.

"Fuck!" Naruto swore. With a wave of his hand, he shot a Tethered ThoughtSpike into her head, and began, with the help of all his still-active and linked clones, to contain the last five minutes of her memory- not erasing it (because he liked her), but keeping it from influencing her too much. Erasing memory was the equivalent of killing off a person, and replacing them with who they would be without those memories.

Erasure left nothing left- the mind had to recompile from memories.

Containing memories was harder- he had to build a block in her mind that shunted things away from accessing it, usually made of simple concepts such as 'Ignore' and 'Not My Problem'. It took several minutes of real time, but he eventually built the bulwarks around her mind to the point where, although the memories were not there, the patterns they left remained.

He stopped holding her conscious mind, and let it move.

This however, was enough- the fragments shot back together, the reason for why they were separate not conscious or accessible at this moment.

Then, with even more care, he gently applied pressure around her mind as he removed the ThoughtSpike.

"Tsunami-neechan?" He shook her shoulder, and saw her mind flicker around in normal patterns. She was awake. "You fell asleep Neechan."

Tsunami opened her eyes, and looked around- but Naruto had placed the crystal in a pocket.

No links to the sealed off segment of her mind should be left to flap free, else the mind would unravel again.

Tsunami gently stood up, helped by Naruto. "Oh... Hi Naruto... Did you eat the food?"

Naruto picked up the box of dinner with a free hand. "Not yet. But it smells taisty."

Tsunami nodded unsteadily, blinked a few times, and walked back to the house that had her son in it.

The blond sighed. _Too bad rea-_ his thoughts were interrupted as he downloaded the memories from one of his stored shadow clones. "Wait- Samurai?"

* * *

Twenty minutes ago...

Anko had been able to get away from the rampaging Samurai and Monks with relative ease. She couldn't even make people ignore her- to utilize trance you needed a certain state of mind, a will to impose your own will not upon the world itself, but upon those who would resist being changed.

The same sort of mentality that the cursed seal on her shoulder fed on, and she would not risk it. Not yet.

Regardless of that, she was fast. Rise let her push her already toned and refined body far beyond its limits, and combined with her underground move Justu, she was now in the Land Of Rain, more than a hundred miles away in less than an hour.

Of course, that brought other problems. For one, she only had a general idea of where she was. For another, she was being rained on.

Heavily.

Even in the shadow of a tree, she was still soaked to the bone. Thankfully, sealing scrolls didn't become useless if they just got wet. She poked one of the seals within her overcoat with a chakra-enhanced finger, and a scroll popped into existence in her pocket.

Anko unrolled it, and tapped one of the storage symbols with that same finger, and watched her umbrella appear out of the smoke.

The Naruto clone blinked once, and waved a hand. Rain ceased to fall within a fairly large space around them as his Telekinesis formed a hydrophobic barrier. Then he smiled. "'Sup Anko."

" 'Sup'?" She growled. "I almost got killed by two samurai who could use Rise and two monks that could throw around fire like it was part of them! What do you think is 'sup'?!" She threw down the mission scroll. "A-ranked my ass! Who the fuck would forget to mention the-"

Naruto, seeing that she was rather upset, walked up and hugged her. One of the things he had learned during the meeting with his great-something-grandparents was people could sometimes begin a cascading, severe breakdown, to recognize the signs, and how to defuse the breakdown before it got into the 'murderous rage' or 'suicidal depression stages.

She froze, then sighed. "Right. No mushy stuff. I got it." Gingerly, as though it was an alien act, she hugged him back, before sitting on the wet ground and pulling the blond ninja onto her lap. The kunoichi smirked, and asked, in an incredibly sexy voice, "Can you help dry me off?"

The clone blushed, flicked a hand, and was now holding a gentle orange flame. "Now dry off, and tell me about the Monks and Samurai."

It took a while.

* * *

 **End chapter 11**

* * *

Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter. Please review if you can- it really helps.


	12. Chapter 12- Introspection and Patricide

(A/N-start)

There is a fairly short Naruto/Mass Effect crossover called 'The Final Frontier', which is entirely unique. If you can do so, read it. I have no idea if the author is still around, but the concept and application is rather entertaining, and is on my list of story ideas to try in the next few years.

This chapter took so long because I had to complete several major projects in the last week, so I apologize for the delay.

Addendum: I also graduated in the last few weeks, so that meant all the major projects finished in that time. I had no time at all to write, so I apologize got this story being later than usual.

Now, onto the story!

I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any story. Yet.

Anyway... Enjoy!  
(A/N-end)

* * *

"History is equal parts tragedy, heroism, and misunderstanding."- Extra History Guy

* * *

 **Chapter 12- Introspection and Patricide**

* * *

Naruto lay on the roof of Tsunami's house, and pondered the day he had just experienced. First, there was that little meeting with the Hunter-nin Haku. Then there was the little fuck up where he showed that yes, he could treewalk- then had to spend hours dodging attacks for doing so. And accidentally shattering Tsunami's mind- but he fixed that.

Of course, then he received the memories of one of the stored shadow clones- and there was now a massive obstruction to his plans.

Mainly, the two other forces that balanced out the Shinobi in the major countries. Oddly, the ninja academy didn't go over the three major forces- at least, the bits where they didn't send him out of the class didn't cover this.

The Shinobi were, first and foremost, jacks-of-all-trades. Anyone could become a ninja, and be taught how to use chakra in their method. Of course, you didn't necessarily get good quality ninja, but they could use chakra more than the average bandit- and that was a significant force multiplier.

First, there were the Samurai. They were faster than any ninja that was not opening at least five of the celestial gates, and horrendously strong. With their chakra-armor and chakra-swords, they could stride right through Jutsu.

Conjured fire and water would evaporate before it touched them, manipulated earth would crumble, wind would dissipate, and lightning would strike everything but the samurai's armor. What's worse is that the armor absorbed the chakra, and converted it, half into store medical chakra while the other half was siphoned to form a chakra shield around the samurai to blunt physical strikes. Any expressed chakra was absorbed, fueling the armor's healing system, battery, and shield.

Then there was that damned sword. Every samurai's sword was slightly different- they made their own individually, but there were some constants. Such as the constant hum and blue glow of the edge as it cut the air while at rest, and the ability to slice through trees, earth, men, and metal with the ease of cutting through the air.

Combining those two aspects with the sheer speed that came standard for samurai, the only way to really fight them was through utilizing the body replacement technique (it being a space-time technique) and specialized traps, or exhausting the samurai. Wearing three hundred pounds of armor and constantly feeding both it and the sword chakra was exhausting, but that is what they trained to do. Even so, they could only maintain that extreme speed for short bursts.

Second were the Monks. They were usually retired samurai, and as such could move insanely quickly with great strength in their physical strikes... But while the samurai were limited by their armor, the monks could manipulate the elements.

Even the lowliest monk could encapsulate themselves in their element for a time, according to Anko, and the strong ones could send out creatures of their element to strike down their foes. Best course of action would be to catch the monk off guard- that way, they couldn't defend themselves with their element.

It was suspicious... Almost like the Monks used Burst while the Samurai used Rise... But how would they be able to self-perpetuate their abilities? Psi usually needed to be 'awakened', and rarely did it force the user into one area- that least, that's what the grandparents said. And unless you could use Trace with just a little bit of skill, unlocking someone's psi was incredibly difficult.

To summarize: there are two forces that appear to have Psi capability, although on a restricted scale.

Naruto thought about this- the Samurai seemed more dangerous to him, with their chakra-absorbing armor, weapons, and potential Rise use. But, for all their speed, they were short-medium ranged, and needed to get close... On the other hand, the Monks were more of a long-range fighting style then, with their elemental manipulation. An interesting contrast- and both weak against extreme long-range strikes.

He smirked slightly, as he mused over the problem and fingered the black crystal he had created.

Diamond structures were not that difficult to create or destroy for a telekinetic- they had specific types of fracture lines, and were easy enough to create. Just take some carbon, isolate it in a bubble with no other elements, then compress it from all side equally until the structure stopped shrinking.

But it wasn't perfect- diamond made poor armor, as specific angles of attack could fracture the stuff, and it was exceptionally heavy. It made poor weapons too- the same fracture angles existed in every piece of diamond, and knives would shatter if they were used in the normal shinobi manner.

But, for a cutting edge, the diamond could hold a thinner edge than almost anything else... Although it may fracture at some point, it would be able to hold a better edge than most other elements, being incredibly hard from certain angles.

Naruto clenched his hand, and the black crystal collapsed into powder, which quickly flew to one of the more concealed storage seals in his overcoat. He could easily deal with most enemies with his shearing gradient fields, but that was not a ninja-like way of dealing with problems- and would not necessarily be able to deal with the he samurai. Rise could reinforce a body to be nigh-on indestructible, hardening muscle and bone to levels beyond what most ninja could really do.

What he really needed was a long-bladed spear... One that would be able to corkscrew into targets at extremely high speed as well as be used like a long-handled blade. He grinned, and touched the seal that regulates the different types of metal dust he had collected over the last few weeks- then stopped.

Metal wouldn't be able to do what he needed it to. He needed a weapon that could withstand the frankly insane speeds he utilized on a near-daily basis. Without the instinctive telekinetic effect that those who used Rise would utilize, their clothes would begin to be ablated off if they exceeded Mach 2- and they would also be on fire at Mach 3+.

He had no idea how to make super-high-temperature plating, and didn't have the time right now to experiment. So, he sighed, and, with the trace of a finger, cut a line down his arm, allowing the blood to flow freely as he pumped his Rise up to compensate for the blood loss.

After a few minutes of bloodletting, there was a crimson orb floating in front of his face- not congealing, as he was preventing it from doing so, just... Sitting there.

When his cut sealed and Naruto felt that he had recovered the lost blood, he reached out with both hands, and, without touching the sphere directly, separated it into two.

With the compressing effects of his will, and the knowledge of how burst constructs were programmed (both will and through the use of seals), he formed the two spheres into long blades- each more than eight feet long, and compressed so that they solidified into unique structures. Seals ascribed upon every surface, etching specific instructions on shape, form, color, and the flow of power through the newly formed blades.

Then, gently, he brought the blades together- and they repelled each other to some degree, coiling into a double helix of deep red weapon. In seconds the blades had looped around each other countless times, effectively touching at one end but separated out into a semi-spiral based and bladed bident at the other.

Carefully, he grabbed the weapon, and felt how it merged seamlessly with his will, forming telepathic linkages with his mind to all of for better control. As he held it, the edges rippled, curling in and preventing damage to his hand, but some flaring as the weapon almost purred in his grasp.

Then his head flashed around, and he was looking at the edge of the roof. "Hello Sasuke-teme. What do you want?"

A figure stepped over the edge of the roof, glaring at him with red, spiraling eyes. "Tell me how you did that Dobe." He demanded.

Naruto sighed. "Teme, that falls under the rules regarding secret techniques. I couldn't give you an explanation that would satisfy in any case- the words wouldn't make any sense."

Sasuke glared as Naruto began testing parts of the spear, trying to bend it over a knee and testing the slightly blackened edge. "How did you get so strong?"

"I learned how to think." Naruto answered absently, as the blades edge of the bident sliced through the kunai, seemingly without resistance. "And I practice my skills whenever I get a free moment. Why?"

The Sharingan glared at him.

A mental command to the spear saw it rapidly alter shape, spiraling into his jacket and across his shoulders like some sort of animal, until it shaped itself into a plate along the inside of his mesh armor. Mostly along his back.

Naruto lay back against the roof, ignoring the red-eyed Uchiha watching him. His construct would have to wait a bit before being tested- and he flinched, downloading some more shadow clone memories.

Then he chuckled. The girls certainly had been busy- although he should really check on them when he got back.

Naruto face-palmed. Of course he would check in on them when he got back! Who did he think he was- the Uchiha?

* * *

 _Earlier that day..._

Jounin are quite capable ninja. Kurenai Yuhi had specialized to some degree on illusions and poisons, but had significant skills in Taijustu and several other forms of ninja combat.

She was not, however, prepared for her favorite student and some waitress to do... Whatever it was they did.

Now she was standing in a dojo feeling the tatami mat under her feet as the two girls looked at her.

Hinata blinked a few times before shaking her head. "Ayame-chan, that's really disorienting. Did you have to transition between the real world and the simulation so quickly?"

Kurenai picked up the word 'simulation' and began running through all her illusion-dispelling techniques. She had no sharp implements to cause pain, and she couldn't feel her chakra at the moment, and that took several major options out. Biting her lip, the Jounin made one hand into a fist, extended the pinky, and slammed it down into the mat.

Her fist sank into the ground to the accompaniment of a groan and the crunching of multiple bones in her finger.

Nothing was different- except now she had a broken finger. Well... Crap. Now she had no choice but to persuade her captors to release the illusion.

Ayame winced at the sound, and rubbed her eyes. "Sorry Hinata-chan, but I wanted to make sure she didn't attempt to damage her real body."

Kurenai looked up at that, and said, not unkindly. "Hinata-chan, you need to get your... Friend... To release me from this Jutsu."

Hinatas' face could only have been more stormy if she was glaring lightning bolts. She crossed her arms over the training Gi that replaced her normal shinobi attire. "Not yet Sensei. I have a few questions for you about Naruto-kun."

Kurenai rolled her eyes, and sat down on the mat. "Yes, I attacked him-" she flinched as Ayame held Hinata back, but not much. "- but there are potentially mitigating circumstances."

Ayame had to resort to calling a sliver of her burst to restrain Hinata- an easy task since she was in a simulated mindscape. She gently rubbed the white-eyed girls back as her silver growth restrained her. "Calm down Hinata-chan! We should hear her out at least."

"She tried to... To... Sterilize him!" Hinata growled- and it really was a growl, full of anger and absolute rage.

The Jounin was not particularly dumbstruck by the silver trees that grew out of the floor and ceiling to ensnare Hinata- but she was confused at the feel of this illusion. Most illusions had triggers- places in the illusion that would cause it to change in some pre-defined way, allowing targets to simultaneous move around in the illusion and real world- but seem to be effected by the constraints of the illusion. This place had no triggers she could see.

That, and there was the disconcerting fact that this illusion spoofed all her senses- on a level that was entirely unseen save for several suggested Sharingan or Kurama-clan abilities.

"I know Hinata, I know..." Ayame began to rub Hinata's back, soothing the enraged Hyuuga. "Let us hear what she has to say."

Kurenai cleared her throat as she brought her concentration back to the white-eyed Genin. It was rather odd, wasn't it, that she would also be caught in the illusion?

Ayame sighed. "Yuhi-san, please explain to us why you attempted to harm one of our friends."

The Jounin refused to answer her. "Hinata? What is wrong?"

The kunoichi glared at her with such vehemence that she expected to feel some sort of killing intent- but there was nothing. "We both are angry. Explain your actions, and we will release the illusion."

"But it's not-" Ayame was silenced when Hinata waved a hand, and gestured. The silver trees bent, like grass in a wind, and released the Genin.

"Tell us why." Hinata said, her voice sounding slightly unearthly.

Kurenai blinked, and felt an odd urge to obey the younger kunoichi, but resisted. "I will not."

Ayame grinned. "Tell us why."

More unearthly resonances, this time grinding through her bones and increasing in pitch until it began to drown out her own thoughts- but not enough to make her talk. Kurenai grasped at her head, trying to keep their words and her thoughts separate, but it was getting harder.

Then both spoke in tandem. **_"Tell us why NOW!"_**

The words echoed through her mind, drowning out everything. As if in a dream, Kurenai was forced to speak, the words surplus ting her will and any form of resistance she had. "I... I never liked the brat much. He pulled pranks on many villagers, and I never heard any good things about him. So I decided that, if the opportunity arose, I would make sure he never harmed those I cared about." She was almost crying. "I was captured for two days, on a mission along the borders of Wind Country, and was implanted with mental commands by someone who used the Memory-Concealing Manipulative Sand Needle Jutsu to harm the Leaf." She was crying now, even as she spoke. "I was instructed to, if it would appear natural, cause grievous psychological harm to the Leaf's jinchuuriki in the most traumatizing way I could- and potential permanent physical harm.

Hinata's eyebrows could only have gone higher if she had surgery- but Ayame looked skeptical. "Memory-Concealing Manipulative Sand Needle Jutsu? Really?"

"I've heard of it." Admitted Hinata. "It's one of the ones that a Hyuuga and Yamanaka are brought in to diagnose. We can barely see it, due to structure of the brain, but we can pinpoint it if we know where to look."

Ayame still wasn't convinced. "And it made you hurt Naruto because..."

"It's a way of manufacturing deep cover agents." Hinata stated. "But then... What other orders have you been given?"

"I have been instructed to wait until a Root-ANBU agent contacts me." Kurenai said, surprise evident that she could say this at all. "Who I will assist in order to beget the agent with Naruto's offspring, in order to facilitate the transfer of a new jinchuuriki of the nine-tailed demon fox."

Both girl's mouths dropped open at this.

"How did you know she had other orders?" Ayame asked.

"Father told me about it." Hinata explained. "Sometimes the Hyuuga who helped in the operation were told that the sand agent would be given new orders, in order to work around the block. But they rarely have any memory of the fact that they were a sand agent in any case. How did you learn about this?" Hinata directed to Kurenai.

"A damaged puppet-bird was seen by Anko, who collected it before it was able to give me any negative or detrimental commands." She stated. "I was brought before the Hokage, who, having already sealed me into assisting the root agent. I began to go into shock, having not heard part of the tonal sequence that would repress short-term memory, and was examined by Inoichi Yamanaka. Due to the pattern of my mind at the earlier reading, he could see that the mental alteration could only have been the result of the Sand Needle Jutsu."

"Show me your seal." Ayame stated, and was surprised when Kurenai stuck out her tongue.

Hinata looked at it closely. "We can't do anything about that in here- but Naruto should be able to. What is that tattoo preventing you from telling us?"

Kurenai's eyes opened wider, but answered. "I have already told you."

Hinata nodded. "There is a Root agent. Well... This changes things."

"Not necessarily." Ayame offered. "We can tell Naruto after we deal with the Hyuuga- he and Anko are planning most of it."

"Right..." Hinata blushed, the shook her head quickly and looked at Kurenai. "Now we just have to figure out what to do with her."

* * *

Kurenai woke up some time later, having nodded off at the small kitchenette counter within the apartment that she shared with Anko.

What was she doing again? A twitch of a finger gave her all the answers she needed- a half-empty sake bottle was in her hand.

She sighed, picked herself off the stool with a groan, and headed to her darkened bedroom. She really needed to find a better place to crash than the kitchen table.

* * *

Psychic warfare is... Different. Not just in what sort of power they utilize, but how it is countered. And ninja, well... Despite their strength of will, none of them were versed in resisting psychic attacks.

Ayame's mind rolled over the perimeter guards like a tidal wave as they walked up to the ornate gate.

They didn't even feel it. The gate guards were focusing on guarding- so when two girls, one Hyuuga and one not, walked up to the door, they dismissed both of them as a threat.

Right up until the point where their minds froze into literal immobility, short term memory not writing to medium or long-term memory and their attention gently pushed away from both girls.

Hinata whistled under her breath. "That's terrifying."

Ayeme smiled as she walked right between the guards and into the compound, Hinata following her with Byakugan flaring occasionally. The ramen waitress had wrapped an 'we are supposed to be here' suggestion around them both, and buffered it with 'we are not interesting' suggestions in layers. It wasn't an illusion, merely wrapped thoughts in such density that the air around her rippled slightly, as a heatwave would.

Hinata found that looking at it with her Byakugan gave her a headache- but knew, from experience, that trying that from the outside of the onion-like layered cloak would have made it latch on even faster to her mind... Or ignore it completely if she didn't know what was there.

Guards tried to accost them as the pair walked through the complex, but anyone who looked at the was turned away. A few minutes of walking through the fort-like structure of the compound brought the girls to the office of Hiashi Hyuuga.

Hinata took a deep breath, then steeled herself. She could not allow herself to be held hostage by the clan. Nodding to Ayame, she closed her eyes as she felt the layers of Trance slide away, leaving her feeling naked before the world. That, more than anything else, made her begin to lose her nerve. _Maybe she could just walk away, stay away from the clan until it was time for them to leave, or-_

The air seemed to peel back as Ayame made her face visible, the cloak of her Trance peeled back to allow her hands and face free.

"Don't worry Hinata-chan." She whispered, brown inches away from the white-eyed girl as she held the Hyuuga's head in her hands. "Naruto-kun and I believe in you. You can deal with anything." The waitress smiled crookedly. "And if you are sterilized, you can't come with us."

Hinata blushed a deep red, her mind going to all sorts of M and R-rated places as Ayame hid beneath her Trance Cloak again, chuckling. When she spoke, it was in a breathy whisper. "For Naruto-kun... And our future autonomy."

* * *

Hiashi was rather busy. He was almost always busy- he had needed to schedule training his daughters, and now that he wasn't training Hinata anymore, he would need to remove her from his schedules.

And that was a rather significant piece of work, considering that the other people that he had scheduled for meetings wanted to have their time extended, reallocated, etc, in order to have more time doing whatever they had scheduled his time for.

"Why don't you have an assistant, Father?"

He froze. _No... I didn't even hear her come in._

"Because it seems like you have too much paperwork."

The man stood up from his desk in a single movement. "Hinata-san, as Clan Head, and Leader of the Hyuuga, I must inform you that you are to report to Ko Hyuuga for punishment against the teachings of the Hyuuga clan."

She smiled thinly, then clasped her hands together behind her back, leaned forward slightly, and spoke. "I refuse."

Hiashi glared, activating his Byakugan and focusing in on Hinata. He knew, both from personal experience and listening in on other Ninja, that a glare + Byakugan was intimidating... Although right now it didn't seem like it was working.

His eye itched.

"Daughter..." He made sure to say every word carefully. "Did you refuse-" only to be cut off.

"No, I did not refuse to go to the only doctor who would gleefully remove my sexual organs and apply the caged bird seal on my head." Hinata deadpanned. "Of course I refused, Father!" She snarled, before composing herself. "Because I am invoking the Rite Of Introspection."

Hiashi froze momentarily, before relaxing his Byakugan. "And you know who your opponent must be?"

She nodded. "Of course."

Hiashi looked distraught for a moment, but his face hardened and he swept out of his office. "I will summon the elders. Be ready in the courtyard."

* * *

It only took a few minutes to assemble the elders, and their guard, but that was enough time for the branch house to become alerted to the events. By the time Hiashi walked out of the main house building, wearing his combat robes, the entire clan looked like it had turned out for the occasion.

And what an occasion it would be! The dull thrum of muted conversation set the scene as the afternoon wore on.

"Be silent." Hiashi said, then mentally winced as Hinata glared at him, as he began to speak the words of the ritual. "We have been gathered this eve to see and understand the Rite Of Introspection."

The elders bowed their heads, as the branch house muttered among themselves.

"One of us wishes to not be Hyuuga anymore." Hiashi intoned. "Never again to have the house behind them in their endeavors. Never to be spoken of on the house records. Perhaps even, even, to become an independent clan if she so wishes."

That got a slight blush out of Hinata, but she remained silent.

"She must prove herself." Hiashi continued. "Is she truly great enough to be ejected from the house? Does she truly know of herself?"

"I am, and I do." Her voice never wavered.

"Are you of the Main House?" The elders chorused.

"I am." She replied.

"Are you accused of the greatest crime a Hyuuga could commit?"

She looked up, defiance in every word. "I am accused- and guilty- of adulterating the Hyuuga teachings and learning skills of which the Hyuuga know not."

"The admission is heard, and the price must be paid." The elders sounded really creepy with their slightly-off-tempo chorusing.

"Two ideas, of heretic notion and application, so two lives must be risked." Hiashi intoned. "Have you no one to risk?"

"I risk myself, and my confidant." Hinata's voice rang out amongst the silent structures.

A thin tendril of Trance shot between Ayame and Hinata, establishing a connection, as Hinata fed the right lines actions to Ayame.

Ayame stopped feeding power to her Trance Cloak, and, from the perspective of everyone there, appeared as if out of nowhere- save her face, which she still overlaid with her cloak to keep her identity somewhat hidden. In a loud, clear voice, she spoke. "As Hinata-chan's confidant, I agree to the wager."

Silence. No-one in the courtyard spoke for several seconds, but when one did, they all did. Branch house members dropping into combat stances while the elders demanded explanation of how she got into their compound- at least, until Hiashi spoke again.

"Very well." His words cut through the noise like a scythe, leaving silence in its wake. The challenge had been taken up, and the price would be paid. "As no parent may kill their child, I will fight the confidant, while the greatest of the elders will fight Hinata."

"Bullshit!" Hinata's outburst surprised everyone- even herself. But she quickly rallied. "The Rite of Introspection doesn't have any limitations on who fights who!"

"Ignorant child, do you think that-" an elder began, but was silenced by the wave of a hand by Hiashi.

"If she wishes to fight me personally, I will oblige her." He looked, well, not sad, but disappointed. "Elder Gioza, will you assist me in rendering judgement?"

The youngest of the elders stood up, and nodded. He was over six feet tall, and, unlike most Hyuuga who focused on flexibility over physical strength, he was ripped. "I would be honored to be your second, Clan Leader."

Ayame rolled her eyes, and rubbed her temples with her thumbs- this guy's mind gave her a headache, and made her want to dunk herself in quicklime. It was disgusting, the thoughts of how he thought he would 'subjugate' her and the various things he would do after he won their fight. "Look," she said plaintively, "can we get on with this? We have things to do tonight."

The resulting glares from the Hyuuga elders looked like they were trying to melt her with sheer rage.

Hiashi clapped his hands three times, and eight of the ten elders stood up, and, with speed defying their age, took up positions around the inside of the courtyard. As one, they began to flash through handsigns.

All the branch house members and onlookers ran to get out of the area as a blue flame shot from elder to elder, forming a wireframe cube around the courtyard. As soon as the last onlooker was gone, the wire-frame bled into a semi-transparent blue wall, sealing the people inside.

Hiashi turned to Gioza, who grinned, and advanced toward Ayame. "As per the rules of the Rite, the second and confidant must battle first."

Gioza stopped, shifted into a Juuken stance, and waited for something.

Ayame, not being a ninja, had no real combat experience. However, she had a great gift- common sense- and ramped up her Psi, pushing her Burst and Rise as high as it could go while maintaining her face mask.

At Hiashi's word of "Begin!", Gioza attacked in a blur of limbs.

Of course, from Ayame's perspective, he was crawling, but her Rise wasn't as developed as Hinata's, Naruto's, or Anko's. She couldn't break the sound barrier yet, but the increase in relative potential energy that the technique gave meant that she could dodge the strikes with almost negligent ease.

From the perspective of everyone within the cube except Hinata and Ayame, the waitress had blurred into an indistinct humanoid shape. Of course, people outside the cube couldn't see anything but human blurs, but Ayame's blur seemed to spread out.

The elder dropped his smile as his attack continued, frowning and eventually scowling as he managed to hit nothing but air. How was she doing it? Her body was filled with chakra, not just in the normally-contained chakra network but flowing everywhere, reaching everywhere, and infusing every part of the girls body.

At least, that is what he could see when she stopped moving.

After a minute of this, Ayame's nose was bleeding freely, and she was begging to develop a headache. She needed to end the fight quickly- and did. Quickly, she flicked a seed of her Burst power into the mans' nose, and felt it settle.

Gioza never knew what hit him- one moment, he was attacking the blindingly-fast non-kunoichi (her chakra system seemed too relaxed for her to be a ninja), and the next, he was on the ground, gasping for breath. It felt like he was ill, drowning, being choked, and experiencing a mix of extreme dehydration and chakra exhaustion. He quickly passed out- and would never wake up again.

Ayame had never tested her Sprouts on a human before- the most she had tested them on were plants, a few rats, and some birds that Hinata and Naruto had caught for her practice. She knew it mummified them- but on a human it was so much worse.

Hiashi looked on in horror as Gioza keeled over, flesh receding as a silver sprout emerged from his mouth, and quickly grew into a glowing tree of light, small buds doing many months growth in seconds, eventually stopping as the tree just barely touched the top of the blue barrier.

Hinata nearly threw up, seeing the gorgeous tree rooted in the corpse of the human- who was now nothing but a mummified and dehydrated corpse. His eyes were the worst- shriveled and collapsed, leaving dark sockets with the crumpled, recessed eyeballs just sitting there.

Ayame had an easier time dealing with this expression of power- the tree was feeding everything it took from the man back into her, filling her with life and purified psi. Her eyes glowed silver under her eyelids as she soaked up everything the corpse once had to offer, and, once no more sustenance was incoming, she reached out and clenched her hand.

The tree shattered into a million silver fragments, which evaporated into nothing as she absorbed the power that was maintaining the form of the tree- and she laughed in delight and exulted in the final process of consumption. It was like an orgasm, or an epiphany- it satisfied and fulfilled a need that she had never known until now, filling her with rapture and understanding of the one she consumed... And how little there was to understand was easily evident.

Then the horror hit her- she, a gentle ramen chef, had never killed anyone, for any reason! It had been as easy as swatting a fly- and now the man was dead. She began to shake, and quietly, in the blue glow of the barrier, tears fell down her cheeks as she curled up, arms grasping each other around her knees as she subconsciously clenched into a standing fetal position.

Hinata, who had been connected to Ayame during the whole fight, felt the entire change come over her in a fraction of a second, and, raising her rise to just-under supersonic levels, she shot to the girls side. "It's alright... It's alright..." She crooned, rubbing Ayame's back in soothing patterns, remembering the first time one of her 'compression bubbles' crushed a bird accidentally.

Naruto had rubbed her back in exactly the same sorts of patterns she was now using, calming her and relaxing her as the shock took its toll.

After a minute or so, Ayame's breathing had stabilized, and she didn't look like she was going to snap, so Hinata stopped rubbing her back and looked at Hiashi.

Said man was terrified out of his wits, but, as a career ninja, the only giveaway that he was terrified was a slight shake in his left hand. With all the decorum his position was supposed to embody, the clan head stood up. "Well Done, confidant. You have bested my second, and now, if you would be so kind, my daughter and I must conclude this rite."

Ayame nodded, and wiped the blood off her face as she walked to the spot Hinata had been sitting. Still shaking, she sat down, and hugged herself until the shivering stopped.

Hiashi slid smoothly into the Juuken stance as far away from Hinata as he could be- and that rang all sorts of alarm bells in the kunoichi's mind.

See, the standard Juuken stance was relatively deep, with both feet facing the same direction at ~30 degrees off-torso and twice as far apart as the users shoulders, with more than half the users weight on their back foot. This provided a grounding stance, but also a degree of explosive movement for a single step, as the Juuken created a lot of kinetic backlash and users could only really strike of they were balanced. This meant that the usual target for Juuken strike began four stance-widths away from their target, and then the user would be 'planted' at that final spot for their strikes.

Hiashi was twelve stance-lengths away, and was waiting with glowing hands to see what his daughter was doing. Oddly enough, he also didn't have his Byakugan active, and that was as much as Hinata was going to take.

She pushed her Rise up to subsonic levels again, and, after pushing her burst as high as it would go, she began to mentally grab and compress the air, shunting it into a series of almost completely invisible spheres in front of her, forming a bubble-like shield.

Hiashi saw the shimmer, and struck, taking a half step forward and sliding his glowing hands together. The coherent blue beam shot through the barrier, and slammed into the ground in multiple locations, refracted and scattered as it hit the layered bubbles.

Hinata, thinking quickly, activated her Byakugan and began pulling down more bubbles, forming a shield around her that turned her from a coherent shape to a distorted flux.  
Her father activated his Byakugan at the same time, and saw... Odd hints in the background flux of shapes. Odd, almost alien geometric shapes that bent the world around themselves and forced spheres to exist where they should not be.

Specifically, the spheres formed a layered bubble-like wall between Hinata and himself, and seemed denser than the background flow.

He shrugged. Oh well. Soon, she would be at peace. He readied another attack, and named it to give it extra power. "Light Palm: Divine Spike."

She was ready though- layers and layers of bubbles coalesced within the wall, forming bubbles within bubbles, scattering the strike.

"My turn." Hinata pulsed her Burst, and 'tossed' one of the bubbles at Hiashi, who stabbed it with a Juuken reflexively.

This was the worst possible thing he could have done. See, the bubbles that Hinata was using were a variant of 'Material High', a Zone-based Psi Burst ability that packed the atmosphere very, very tightly into a small space, increasing the heat and pressure to the point where the material was scalding hot and effectively solid in density.

Of course, if the bubble burst, the resulting expansion was explosive, and the rapid expansion was endothermic, but with the added bonus that the bubble only moved if

Hinata wanted it to, resulting in a very precise expulsion of supercooling gas at very, very high speed.

Hiashi felt his arm shatter- and was suddenly aware of the fact that the eight-fold blue barrier around the match let air pass without interference, as the jet of cold air managed to miss most of his body. This was, from his perspective, the only reason he was currently alive.

Hinata was slightly surprised- she usually released her 'bubbles' as high up as she could reach, and had never seen the effects of what they did to flesh up close. _At least it wasn't... Oh gods... The pieces were oozing now..._ She redirected her attention to the now one-handed Hiashi, who was fighting off shock. Hinata expanded out her bubble cloud to form a more coherent screen. "Do you yield, father?"

He was sweating, but he was the clan head. Hiashi was certain that he had to fulfill his role- come hell or high water. "I cannot yield!"

"I... I..." The kunoichi sighed, then rubbed her face to remove her tears. "I know myself, and my convictions." She looked up at her father. "I will end this quickly."

Hiashi closed his eyes, and deactivated his Byakugan. Then, with an air of finality, he uttered the ending words, as the defeated opponent. "Is the Rite of Introspection over?"

"It is."

"Bedone Hinata No-Name." Hiashi never saw the blast that froze and shattered him into a hundred pieces.

Hinata, after seeing her father shatter, started shaking. She was no stranger to death- she had seen her father torture one of the branch house into insanity and another to the point of suicide in front of her- but this was the first life she had ended with her own hand.

Ok, not her hand literally, but her intent. And that changed everything.

The barrier began to drop, as the Elders saw the Rite completed- but when they entered to see who won, they just found the bodies of Gioza and the scattered fragments of Hiashi.

Hanabi, who had watched the entire fight, was experiencing new emotions. "This is new." She spoke softly, but all the surviving elders heard her. "This emotion- pride in someone else." She reached out, and picked up the solid ice eye of her father- then crushed it in her small hand. "But unfortunately it's overshadowed by all this UNYIELDING RAGE." She composed herself. "I, as the Head of the Hyuuga, hereby, according to the Rite of Introspection, eject Hinata Hyuuga from the clan."

The elders all tried to talk at once, but she raised her hand.

"However, I will also ascend any branch house member who manages to bring me her eyes." Hanabi Hyuuga didn't lose her composure for the entire sentence, but left the courtyard slightly faster than a walk.

The elders shared a glance at this- it had been four generations since a branch house member had their seal contained (made unable to activate) and brought into the branch house. There was a reason so few main members existed.

The new clan heads voice was clearly audible even from within the building. "And clean out my fathers belongings! I refuse to sleep in the same bed that a dead man used."

* * *

Hinata and Ayame slid to a stop in the forest of death- and both collapsed onto each other. They were barely standing, in shock from having killed someone (Ayame) and killing her own father (Hinata).

"S-should w-w-we ca-ll N-N-arturo?" Hinata stuttered, tears rolling down her cheeks freely as she slid through the shock in her training.

Ayame just took out her Naruto-Clone-Sealing-Scroll, unrolled it, and pushed chakra into it.

A Naruto Clone appeared. "Hey!..." He saw the girls, noted their symptoms of shock, and immediately duplicated into several other Naruto, each one taking up a separate position around the girls. Some hugged the girls, telling them things were going to be all right, some began rubbing their backs, others gently turned their faces so that the girls were looking into deep blue eyes, and tried to comfort them as best they could.

As dusk gave way to night, the girls recanted their story- and after the Narutos built an impromptu shelter into a nearby tree via Psi, they fell asleep in a pile of Naruto clones, sleeping off their shock.

The original clone, who had been connected to the rest via Trance wires, dispelled himself. The Boss would want to know about this.

* * *

Some of the branch members noticed a single footprint though- a leftover of the battle perhaps- that had crushed the flagstones underneath it in a perfect shoe pattern. Neji Hyuuga especially noticed, and, under his breath, vowed to get his freedom in some way.

Possibly through the acquisition of his cousins eyes.

But a tiny fragment of doubt snuck its way into his soul as he noticed the footprint- if she could do that to a flagstone just by stepping off it, how dangerous was Hinata now?

 _Oh well._ He shrugged. _She had been weak before, and Fate never changed for those who were unwilling to try. She would die, and he would use her eyes to force his fate to change._ Quietly, he walked out into the night- he had training to do.

* * *

 **End Chapter 12**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I wish I could have released it sooner, but I have been rather busy with College. You know- final projects, capstone parts, and graduation. I now have a degree in Aviation Business Administration! So yes- that happened. Now looking for a job.

Please review if you get a chance.

Oh- here's a little parting gift.

And now... An Omake. Or several.

* * *

 _One other way Naruto could have destroyed Gato's base_.

Once he was out of the base, Naruto leaned against a tree, and, flaring a bit of his pyrokinesis, breathed into the palm of his hands. The flame was not particularly bright, but it conformed to a sphere as he focused upon it, forcing his power and will into the flames themselves.

Then, with almost reverent care, he tossed the sphere into the air- where it drifted on gentle breezes until it was almost right over the center of the fairly large estate.  
He snapped his finger.

Then everything was inexplicably on fire.

Naruto, being a 12 year old boy, laughed gleefully from his perch as the world of these murderers and rapists burned.

* * *

 _Yet another way Naruto could have destroyed Gato's base._

Naruto was not very delicate when he used his Trance. He could leverage his clones for more fine detail, but sometimes it wasn't worth it.

One of the guards who saw him collapsed, pinkish lumpy fluid draining from tear ducts, nose, and ears as their brain literally liquefied under the pressure of his presence.

He had to hold one hand over his mouth. The smell of liquefied brains was disgusting- oh, and the nausea of killing dozens of people a second was beginning to get to him a bit.

It didn't help that their bowels automatically let go when they died.

* * *

 _There are a lot of ways Naruto could have taken out that base- here's another._

The guards didn't even pay attention as the completely purple boy just walked right past them.

See, people are inherently suggestible. Naruto, liked to his clone network, was simply broadcasting a concept to the group of guards that was managing to override what their senses was telling them.

In this case, the concept was 'Red makes it go faster, Yellow explodes, Blue is lucky, and Purple is sneaky'.

After all- have you ever seen a purple ninja?

No-one really paid attention as Naruto planted a yellow explosive seal on the backs of each of the guards- after all, the paper was purple.

The explosions leveled most of the mansion and surrounding forest.

* * *

 _And another one._

The thugs were beginning to cluster around the construct- a fact witch made Naruto laugh so hard he nearly fell off his branch. It wasn't complex- it just looked like a rectangular pillar with a single big red button it it.

Oh, and the button had the words 'Do No Push' in big, clear kanji written on it's smooth surface in clean, white letters.

Someone pressed the button- and suddenly there was a very large, very angry worm-like creature several dozen feet above the base. As the average reader may guess, this was not a naturally tenable position for those beneath it.

Naruto frowned. "That wasn't supposed to do that."

There was a flash of light, and everything living in the courtyard flash-froze. Then subsequently shattered.

He smiled. "Now that... That it was supposed to do."

* * *

 _And now... Some heavenly carnage, courtesy of a giant magnifying glass._

Naruto kept his eyes closed as he focused on his target area. Hundreds of miles up, space began to slowly bend as he exerted his will upon it. Light bent, as if being directed by a giant lens, and across the elemental nations, night fell.

Except for one place- Wave.

The light got brighter and brighter as it was concentrated, and, like the opposite of an eclipse, the sun seemed to flare in the sky.

With one last shift of his hands, the light focused once more, into a blazing pillar of death as the base was illuminated with the power of a billion sunny days all at the same spot.

No-one really saw it. The base just very, very bright as the world briefly became dark, and then everything returned to normal.

Of the mansion, there was only one room left standing- and it held the only survivors, who were gently escorted out through courtyard, filled with the charred remains of their captors.

* * *

End Omakes.

I hope they were fun.

Happy Mothers Day!


	13. Chapter 13- Confrontation

(A/N- start)

Ok, here's another chapter for all y'all word-junkies. Hope you like it.

I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any other source material. Wish I did.

(A/N- end)

* * *

 _0-0-0 : "Lord Vader, I have good news, and bad news."_

 _Darth Vader: "Give me the good news."_

 _0-0-0 : "Good news! I have great confidence that I have managed to extract all reliant information from -ahem- 'Doctor Cylo-IV'. I know the location of his research base, the nature of his commission from the Emperor, etcetera etcetera."_

 _Darth Vader: "Then dispose of him."_

 _0-0-0 : "Ah... Then I have Doubly Good News! He's already dead."_

* * *

 **Chapter 13- Confrontation**

* * *

After several days without hearing anything from Gato, Haku and Zabuza decided to simply check up on the man- he was still their paycheck after all. So, with as much deliberation as they could manage, Zabuza was bandaged up, and Haku fed him multiple strengthening potions that she had been able to piece together from multiple herbs that she had found and more than half their normal medical supplies.

Without his sword, Zabuza wasn't helpless- he had several storage scrolls with other sorts of weapons. These, of course, included a few duplicates of his sword, designed for training. But the training swords were not good enough to be used as actual weapons- blade was too soft, being made out of lead. Therefore, with Haku's help, he unsealed the Shark Saw.

It was as long as he was tall, a steel pole with six separate and replaceable 'teeth'- head-sized triangular metal blades with extremely sharp edges. Of course, it weighed half the weight of his preferred weapon, the Decapitating Carving Knife, but he could barely lift it as it was with the vast internal damage he had suffered a few days ago.

Well, his idea of 'barely'. He could still swing it fast enough and hard enough to cleave through trees, but he couldn't slice through stone with it- his chakra was still being mostly siphoned to keep him alive through the few medical seals that they had.

Late that evening Haku was traveling through the forest when she caught a rather... Organic smell. The sort of smell you get when there is a slaughterhouse nearby, or a battlefield- the smell of sun-aged flesh and scattered organs, of not-quite old blood, fire, and death.

Quickly coming to a stop, she pulled a water skin off her belt, uncorked it, and flashed through a few handseals. The water flowed out of the container on her command, crystallizing in the air into a flat mirror larger than a man. After a few seconds, she shot through another sequence of handseals, turning the mirror dark.

Zabuza stepped out of the mirror, onto the fairly thick branch, and frowned. "I thought you were going to call me... When..." He started sniffing the air. "Oh."

Haku deactivated her Jutsu and sealed the waterskin. "Yes, Zabuza-sama. I think something may have attacked Gato's mansion."

He groaned. "Come on-lets go save our paycheck."

When they arrived Haku had to take a timeout to vomit. The once relatively pristine and rather large courtyard was covered in gore. The upper torsos looked like they had been blown clean off their legs and hips, with internal organs everywhere. Everywhere there was a fine coating of blood, and there were flies of all sorts buzzing over the massive feast.

"Shit..." Zabuza muttered under his breath. "They did not take any prisoners..."

Haku tried to look around the wall, but had to quickly turn back to the woods outside and vomit again.

The larger missing-nin walked over to a pile of body parts (from at least eight people), and scrutinized the remains, then groaned as he realized what was missing- their livers. "Well, thats frankly disturbing."

Haku kept vomiting. Eventually she stopped (after several cries of "Oh Kami WhyBLARG!", "I didn't eat anything this mornBLARG!" and "How am I still doing thisBLARG!") and was able to speak. "What is Zabuza-sama?"

He gestured at the carnage around them. "First, these people are all missing their livers. Second, there is a suspiciously empty path through all of this, leading straight up to the manor. Third..." He paused for effect. "The door is open."

They eventually made their way through the Manor, weapons drawn in the eerie silence as they came across more and more bodies.

"Zabuza-sama?"

"Yes Haku?"

"All these bodies are male."

"I noticed."

"And they are all missing their livers."

"I noticed that too Haku."

"But where are the-"

"Entertainment?" Zabuza sighed, and pushed open a door- the cells were empty. "Well, at least they got out alive. Probably."

Haku breathed a sigh of relief as they walked through a corridor that didn't have a corpse scattered around it. From her perspective, it seemed like whatever carnage had occurred outside had managed to spare Gato's inner sanctum.

Then she saw Gato. His eyes had rolled back into his head, and he looked as though he hadn't moved from that chair for the last day.

Neither ninja made any noise as they entered, but the man turned to face them anyway.

"Ah, Zabuza and Haku-chan!" The voice echoed around the room. "So nice to meet you again. I assume you are here for your payment?"

"You're not Gato." Muttered Zabuza.

"Of course not!" The voice sounded indignant. "I mean, that asshole was such a fucking disgusting man! I felt his mind, and you would not believe the sort of disturbing things that went on inside it. He actually thought that Haku was a guy, and that when he sent his men to kill you at the apex of your contract, that they would be able to capture Haku-chan as a toy for him! Just ew..." The voice trailed off.

"Naruto-kun?" Haku was looking everywhere for him. "Is that you?"

"Well, not in the flesh..." The voice chuckled. "But there are a few shadow clones around the place. No, Zabuza, you won't be able to see them." He sounded smug. "Or, to be more specific, you shouldn't be able to notice them. There is a rather distinct difference."

Both ninja pulled their weapons as the voice laughed.

"Don't worry... I mean neither of your any harm." In fact... Naruto seemed to slide out of the shadows behind Gato, his overcoat rippling slightly in some unheard breeze. He smiled at the kunoichi. "Hello Haku-chan. Want me to take the seal off the back of your neck?"

Surprisingly, it was Zabuza who spoke up. "Wait- you can remove that seal?"

"Master?" Haku seemed confused.

Naruto cleaned Gato's desk with a wave of a hand. "Of course. We could do it right now even."

"Haku, get on the table." Zabuza commanded.

"But... Zabuza-sama... Why?" She asked, even as she lay, facedown, on the table.

"You know I am dying Haku." The Jounin muttered. "And that brat directly caused it. I just... Want to see one of my failures fixed before I die."

"Internal bleeding?" Naruto asked the man as he began pulling several scrolls out of his jacket from too-small pockets.

"Yes."

"How the hell are you still standing?" Another clone revealed itself to the group.

"Sealing bandages." The Jounin gestured to the wrapping around his torso. "Specifically ones to prevent my lungs from filling up with fluid- a rather useful training tool and medical aid. They don't stop me from dying, but they let me function somewhat. Now, will you remove her seal?"

The scrolls he unrolled flared with chakra, projecting various pieces of information about the being set between the two lines of paper. This was an experiment he had been working on for some time, and now would be the perfect time to test it.

Naruto quickly selected the seal, located on the back of her neck, and enlarged it, the scrolls going through incredibly complex processes to open it up and see what it was. He had been correct with his assumption- it was a variant of memory-surprising seal, one that sealed off a single detail within a ten-minute span of memory... Assuming his own seal matrix was functioning properly. "Yes, I will."

And now he could see the internal parts of the seal, he could negate it. Carefully, re-sealing the scrolls into his jacket, the clone grabbed a piece of real paper, some real ink, and began to prepare the seal.

When he grabbed a kunai, Zabuza flinched, reaching for his sword.

"Calm down." The clone said in exasperation. "I am a shadow clone, remember? Whatever I use off my own person can only be temporary, and I need a chakra-rich conductor to make sealing ink out of this stuff." It shook the bottle that had been retrieved off the floor. "Now, can I have some blood?"

Zabuza held out his hand, and didn't show any sign as the clone bled him a little.

Once the blood and ink had mixed properly, Naruto began to draw on the piece of paper. It wasn't like normal sealing diagrams, which utilized a great deal of kanji: rather, it formed a series of lines that hinted at 3-D shapes, and wire framed out surfaced and physical structures.

One pulse of chakra later, and Haku was gasping for air, her mind having relived her entire life up to this point with the new memories in order to assimilate them. After a few minutes of convulsion (while Zabuza and a few clones held her down to keep her from injury), she sagged, completely exhausted, and started crying.

"Haku..." Zabuza asked somewhat uncomfortably. "Do you remember-"

"Yes." Haku sniffled, and had to rub her face. When she took her hands away, her face was back in its usual mask. "You killed my parents."

Then she hugged the masked Jounin. Naruto was understandably confused. "Ok, what?"

"Nearly ten years ago, I was fighting several Hunter-nins that were currently working for the fourth Mizukage, and our fight ended up stumbling through a mob." Zabuza pulled down his mask, coughed, then replaced it. "I had been forced, tumbling, by a strong water Jutsu, and my sword ended up cutting through about half the mob when I lost my hold on it." He patted the shaking girl's back. "She ended up grabbing a stray kunai after the fight ended and tried to kill herself."

"Let me guess..." Naruto sighed. "You used the seal so that she wouldn't try to kill herself more than once?"

Zabuza just nodded.

"You could say... That was a slice of life." Everyone turned to one of the clones, who, having revealed himself to make the horrible joke, was looking expectant, hands outstretched like a stage performer. "Eh? Eh?"

The other Naruto flicked his hand, and the paintbrush accelerated with a loud crack, causing the offending clone to poof out of existence. "Sorry about that- some clones just turn out differently."

"So..." Zabuza was somewhat hesitant to ask, but he had to anyway. "What killed the people outside? And what happened to the money?"

"I happened." The boy's voice echoed eerily in the silence that followed that declaration.

"Seriously?" The Jounin, being a rather infamous killer, was a mix of being unsettled and disbelieving. "How?"

"How?" The clone started laughing, maniacally, for a minute, before calming down. "Simple really-"

Every single being in the room- Gato, the slumped guards- suddenly straightened up and spoke in unison. "- I have power that most ninja would sell their children for. I will it, and it happens."

The clone grinned as the people talking collapsed onto a desk or the floor again. "Although, I didn't use that, but you can see that I have quite a bit of power."

Both Haku and Zabuza shook their heads as they tried to deal with the fact that such a small child could puppet still-living people- then they noticed the absence of any sort of ninja forehead protector on his head... Or, for that matter, anywhere else.

"So..." Zabuza asked carefully. "What about the money?"

"Oh that!" The boy clapped his hands once. "Well, I could pay you several times what Gato was willing to pay you for services rendered- after all, from my perspective you both were a great help. After all-" he held his hands at shoulder width apart, palms up. "- I bargain with no knife or weapon in either hand. What do you say?"

"You know I am dying right?" Zabuza couldn't help but bring it up.

Naruto's deadpan "No shit." Really captured the mood there.

"Right, just wanted to clear it up. How much money are you offering?"

* * *

 _A few hours ago..._

The women were, for a lack of a better term, broken. Their psyches had been shattered through thousands of hours of rape, and their bodies were not in an ideal state.

Trouble was, Naruto wasn't able to do much about the second part of this problem- he had tried using the 'healing' Psi on others, but the mix of Trance, Rise, and Burst had to be attuned to the core of the other person... And these people couldn't withstand the surge.

One of the clones waiting with the girls as the people occupying the mansion exploded had tried to heal a gash in one of the unconscious guards that had been in the room when Naruto had swept the base.

He had immediately started growing cancerous growths, and had popped soon after. It had been disgusting.

That clone had, thankfully, had the presence of mind to use a guard as a test subject rather than one of the women or girls.

In any case, the girls had to be brought home- and that would prove a slight logistical challenge. See, the clones had to leverage their group intelligence to keep them asleep, and then they had to split the communal attention between that and trying to buffer the 'break-point' memories...

It took a while. No, seriously- the two dozen clones needed to, in an individual basis, reach in to a girl's mind, locate the negative memories that caused it to fracture (this is not as hard as it sounds: the clones literally just watched the memories until they became disjointed), then 'locked' away the memories one by one until the mind coalesced into a coherent shape.

This was to make sure that their minds didn't consciously remember the events- although they would probably have nightmares- but that they would also be the same people. A person's mind is a gestalt of all the things they remember doing, why they did it, and how it turned out... And by erasing memories, it would be like turning back the clock- killing the person in the present so that they would be replaced by a past version.

These 'locked' memories could not be directly accessed, but they still were referenced- like knowing something as a 'fact' and as a FACT, the mind only remembered it like some waking dream. The memories became unclear, unfocused, and when the person would focus on them, it would feel/see the information of what happened, but not the impact it would have had.

Amamiya and Abyss had developed this trick some few thousand years ago to help with PTSD and Rape victims- and of course they had taught it to Naruto!

As the clones finished up with the last girl, as one, they sent a mental note of thanks out on the channel that would reverberate in the background noise for a while- just the feeling of gratitude, for their great-something grandparents.

Then, like a parade, the group walked out of the building, twenty-three women and girls floating along like balloons in their slumber.

It took a while to find all the families, calm them down, and give them their specific family member, but it wasn't too difficult. Just time-consuming.

* * *

The next few days were fairly boring for Naruto. Kakashi refused to teach him anything new, insisting to wait until the two other Genin were fluent with the new exercise.

So he refined his Psi control, utilizing dozens of exercises to increase his delicacy in the art of Telekinesis- ranging from juggling individual grains of sand, to tying knots in various grass stalks as he passed by them, to directing tiny knot-shaped waterfalls along the beach and alongside the river that flowed in the woods.

Of course, then he also helped Tazuna with building the bridge, since Sakura wasn't professional enough to reliably guard him and Sasuke just didn't want to.

Shadow clones may be the most useful Jutsu ever. One each was performing multiple Psi exercises, and a few dozen along with the original

In any case, the rest of the week was spent just keeping busy as Kakashi healed and the other two kept working on their chakra control and capacity.

He, of course, got his workout in with the resistance seals and lifting beams of Tazuna on that bridge. It worked as a weightlifting exercise, and kept going for hours and hours.

On the seventh day since they arrived in wave, the mist rolled in- and all hell broke loose.

* * *

The bridge had been finished for two days now- Naruto relaxed on the porch as he thought about this fact. He had pulled off the equivalent of a few thousand man hours to finish the thing, and had to use his telekinesis to lighten every damned beam the man had used. But what was interesting from his perspective, were the thousands of seals on every single one.

Every beam that went into the water had a number of anti-water and anti-rotting seals plastered to it, reducing erosion from water to a nearly negligible level. According to Tazuna, his family had purchased those seal designs from the Uzumaki clan several generations back, and originally used them to anchor the piers around the multiple locations around the island.

It wasn't actually that hard to make uncompressed seals- just draw the right symbols in the page, and you are done. However, most sealing scripts compressed- turning from logical processes and concepts into a delicate, somewhat artistic, squiggle. Or a design- it depended on how the seal was drawn.

Once compressed, unless you knew the exact way that it could be uncompressed, the seal would be completely illegible- just a symbol on some surface. This single fact was why Naruto had taken so long before he tried to remove Anko's seal; he wasn't able to uncompressed it.

Until now at least.

Every single beam had to have designs painted onto it at specific points using empowered ink- which, oddly enough, Tazuna also made himself- and then someone had to send a surge of chakra through the design. It would force the writing to shrink, and spiral into a somewhat house-like symbol with a spiral on one end, and the kanji for 'No Water' inside the design. Another one looked almost the same, except it had the symbols for 'No Rot' inside.

His ruminations on the mechanics of sealing were interrupted when he noticed a thick fog begin to roll around the curve of the bay. Naruto stood up, brushed himself off, and sent out a message to the rest of his clones via Trance. Almost simultaneously, they began popping, filling the air with chakra smoke as they dispelled.

Carefully, reaching out with his mind, Naruto spread his awareness over the entire island, using some of his hidden clones as booster-nodes. Once he could feel/see the tiny mind-sparks of the inhabitants, he began to look for the distinctive shapes that were Haku and Zabuza- then the remainder of Gato's forces that he had let live.

Once he realized where two of them were he swore. "Tazuna, go into the house."

The old man blinked. "Wha-"

Two thugs, their eyes slightly glassy from the amount of alcohol they consumed, walked out of the woods. It might have been because of the alcohol, or because of the instruction within their minds making them ignore the blood and gore that had surrounded their mansion- or it might have been because of the dehydration they suffered as Naruto barely left them enough self-control to just survive in the mansion over the last week, but neither of them was really thinking.

"Hey! 'Dere he is!" Thug one exclaimed, drawing his sword.

"Who?" The second one asked, having not really paid attention much for the last few days.

"Da bridge builder guy!"

"Maybe we can collect the woman too- but our orders are to kill the bridge builder, and neutralize the family." Thug 2 (the second one) was smarter than thug 1, but not very smart in any case. He had a better vocabulary though.

Tazuna slammed the door behind him.

Naruto sighed. "First, it's 'the'. Second, no. Uzumaki Secret Art: Red Wave."

His last word coincided with a ripple of force, red shifting the objects that it passed over, flattening the grass and trees in its path as the men collapsed to the ground, their bodies breaking under the strain as they suddenly were exposed to a gravitational wave 25x stronger than they had ever experience before... Or the equivalent, as it was a wave of Telekinesis, redshifting everything in a curved cone in front of the boy.

The people inside the house had to look away at this point, as the bodies of their attackers pulped in the red-tinted light of the attack. Bones cracked like staccato scores, with wet and organic noises as organs liquified under the increased pressure. The men effectively slophed apart as their bodies underwent extreme material failure in fractions of a second, the earth compacting beneath them as they were forced into it.

"Uzumaki Secret Art: Plowshare." Naruto raised a hand, and twisted it.

The earth began plowing itself up, soil overturning as the wave propitiated out towards the bodies, pulling the gruesome remains under the earth as his 'Justu' passed over them.

"Everyone alright?" He called into the house.

There were the sounds of someone being violently sick.

"Okay... I'm going to leave a few clones here so that you won't have to worry about being attacked again."

More vomiting.

"Right... I'm just gonna go..."

Naruto left three clones behind to guard the family, and took off, heading towards what would surely become an interesting conflict.

* * *

Zabuza grinned in exultation even as his body reminded him that he was still dying, darting back into the fog even as his opponent barely dodged the swing of the Shark Saw.

Both he and Kakashi were fighting on the surface of the water, neither exchanging anything but lethal strikes, their minds focused on the fight and its eventual outcome as they darted between the bridges' pillars. Gouts of fire and water flared up as the two tried their best to kill each other, but if it came down to a battle of attrition, it would be no contest- both thought the other would win, but Zabuza could feel his body growing heavier, his chakra control slowly sliding away as his body began to shut down.

As such, the only real noise within their fight were whispered Jutsu names, the clash of steel on steel as they struck at each other, and occasional muffled swear words as the two Jounin got in grazes on each other.

Zabuza struck with his saw, and Kakashi either blocked with a pair of kunai or dodged. In response, Kakashi whipped out some Jutsu, or a few kunai and shuriken, which he either blocked or dodged. Then the cycle started again, with Zabuza occasionally throwing some Jutsu in for flare, and Kakashi mimicking him whenever he tried- or was in a position where he could actually see the man use a Jutsu.

Still, this conflict was, from the Mist-ninja's perspective, rather sedate.- a warm-up if you will.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was getting exhausted. He wasn't an endurance fighter- at least, not like this. He had been trained by the 4th Hokage as a 'Battlefield Assassin', and was able to make accurate, high-power strikes to finish off opponents quickly and efficiently.

This skill was useful if the target was distracted, asleep, or not paying attention- none of which his current opponent now was being encumbered by.

Kakashi swore as he bent out of the way of another series of sword swings, cursing internally as his muscles protested against the continuous movement. He would have used his summons, but they could only be summoned on dry land. He would have used his students, but two of the three of them were being held at bay by the masked ninja from before. He would have used shadow clones, but-

The white-haired Jounin blinked. Why didn't he use a shadow clone?

One handsign later, a brief flash of pain as he duplicated, a Body Replacement with his clone that would hopefully not be noticed, a quick Body Flicker Justsu to the shore, and his duplicate was sparring with the missing-nin.

Unfortunately, Zabuza noticed, and dispelled the clone with an overpowered slash. "Come on Kakashi!" He taunted. "Don't you want to play with me?"

"Crap." Kakashi muttered as he bit his thumb, going through the long stream of handsigns as he dodged water-based Jutsu that erupted from the mist. It took three seconds, but in that time frame, his opponent had closed the gap.

He ducked to avoid a bisecting slash and pressed his hand to the floor.

"Summoning Jutsu: Tracking Fang!"

Zabuza blinked. "Wait, what-"

The ground erupted into dogs.

* * *

Sakura and Sasuke were not doing as well as their teacher. In fact, one could say they were barely holding themselves together.

When the mist came up, Sasuke activated his Sharingan and saw- a wall of chakra. He barely had time to say "What?" Before a senbon needle slammed into his bicep.

"Greetings Konoha Genin." A voice sidled through the mist, sounding both mysterious and terrifying. "We met before, but I should introduce myself- I am the hunter-nin that took away Zabuza earlier." Four needles shot out of the thick mist, slamming into the thigh muscles of the genin. "My name is Haku, and I am your opponent for this conflict."

Sakura, who had been looking around worriedly for a possible assailant, screamed "Sasuke!", and threw several kunai in the general direction of their attacker.

All of them missed- and this prompted Haku to step out of said mist. "Step aside- I am only here for the..." She looked around. The entrance to the bridge was open, and there were no more stacks of material. No more joists, pillars, or other large pieces of wood that would be used on the construction of a bridge. "He's finished the bridge?"

The Uchiha, after pulling the senbon out of his arm, rushed at her with a kunai, and attempted to slash her face- but she negligently blocked with another senbon.

"No, seriously- is the bridge finished?" She knocked the overenthusiastic genin back, and let them regroup.

"I'll attack on the right, you attack on the left." Sasuke instructed Sakura in low tones. "Hopefully one of us will be able to surprise her. If you miss, back up- I'll hit her with some Jutsu."

Sakura nodded, and, as soon as her crush did, ran at the masked ninja. The two genin were not perfectly synced in their movements, but they were able to close in on Haku, who didn't move.

And crumbled into shards of ice when their attacks hit.

"Hollow Ice clones." Her voice echoed around them in the mist, leaving the two genin confused and probably scared. "A little talent of mine, one could say."

Neither Sakura of Sasuke responded to her.

"Fine. Be that way." Dozens of senbon needles flew out of the mist, slipping silently into pressure points and muscle groups.

They collapsed like puppets with their strings cut, bodies paralyzed and numb.

Haku strode out of the mist, and nodded with satisfaction at the terrified expressions. "Oh, you're fine." She waved a hand negligently. "If someone pulls out a few of the needles, you'll be able to move again. But remember this..." She preformed a few one-handed handsigns, and flicked her fingers at the mist, which solidified into needles and imbedded in the ground in front of both genin. "I could have killed you... But I didn't."

She sauntered into the fog, even as the red eyes of the Uchiha glared at her.

Suddenly, Naruto erupted from the fog, arriving in a thunderclap. He took a moment, to glance around, and then vanished in another thunderclap.

The two genin heard Haku say "What?-" before there was a loud, meaty crunch noise, then the sound of a hum that set both Genin's teeth on edge.

"No, please!" The sound of ice needles crystallizing accompanied Haku's words.

Naruto's voice was completely deadpan."Uzumaki Secret Art: Red Death."

There was a noise that reminded both genin of trees, ground, and flesh being crushed beneath a massive weight.

"W-wait-" Every breath sounded wet, and the hunter-nin coughed wetly.

"Uzumaki Secret Art: Plowshare."

"Hel-" Whatever she wanted to say was cut of by the sound of ripping flesh, tearing wood, and falling earth.

It was over in seconds.

Naruto strode out of the fog, blood sprinkling the hunter-nin's mask, which he held. He was slightly grinning, although a little green around the face. "So... Need some help?"

The Uchiha just glared angrily.

"Blink once for yes, twice for no."

Sasuke blinked twice, Sakura once.

"Three yes'!" Naruto grinned widely, his eyes nearly closed. Abruptly, his smile dropped away, and he held one hand up, Palm down. "This will hurt." He informed his comrades. "Uzumaki Secret Art: Retraction."

The needles vibrated painfully for a second, before sliding out and falling to the floor.

Sasuke growled as he resisted the urge to scream- that had been painful. Sakura screamed, and, as soon as she could move, curled into the fetal position as her body was wracked with pain.

Slowly, the perforated genin pulled themselves to their feet, the senbon wounds oozing slowly.

Naruto looked at the mask for a moment, and then, with a scrap of bloodstained fabric, he tied it onto his belt. Then, he began to pick up the senbon.

"Hey-" Sasuke coughed. "- give me those!"

Naruto picked up the last of the bloodied weapons, looked at Sasuke, and shrugged. "Sure." He placed the handful of senbon in the boy's hand, and watched as he tried not to fall over. "No idea why you would want these..." Naruto muttered, but was cut off by the pink banshee- although she seemed to have lost her voice to some degree.

"He is the last Uchiha!" She tried to shout, but her lungs seemed to resist the action. "He doesn't-" she coughed briefly before continuing. "If he wants something-" she broke off coughing for nearly twenty seconds, then just glared at the red-eyed genin. When she spoke next, it was soft, as if she was testing out a new idea. "Does this even help?"

The Uchiha glanced at her, then completely ignored her. "Now... Where is her body?"

Naruto pointed into the thinning mist, and watched as he stalked off. "He doesn't appreciate anything, does he?" Naruto muttered to Sakura, who looked like she was about to cry.

"... I don't think I have ever heard him thank anyone." She was crying now, tears gently welling up in her eyes as the holes in her limbs oozed blood. "Ever." She looked at Naruto. "Do you think..."

Naruto filled in where she trailed off. "That he will care for you? No." He rubbed his ear, and then rubbed the back of his neck. "He wants to avenge his brother."

"And rebuild his clan." Sakura prompted.

"I really doubt he will become a potential threat to Itachi." Naruto drew a circle in midair with an absent finger. "In fact, I expect that, unless his brother has a much more complicated plan than I can see, Sasuke is going to be hopelessly outgunned."

"Oh." Somehow, that one word described the depths to which Sakura's dream was crushed. "What do I do now?"

"Become a ninja instead of a fangirl?" Naruto suggested. "Perhaps find a job in civilian life? Now, come on- we should probably help Kakashi-Sensei."

* * *

When the three genin arrived -Sasuke had needed to sprint to catch up- Kakashi was at the end of his rope.

Even with the assistance of his summons, the Jounin was hard-pressed by the missing-nin. He was always trying to bring the fight back to the water, and he immersed himself when Kakashi called his Dog-summons to restrain the ex-mist-ninja, forcing the summons to release and retreat to land.

They may be ninja dogs, but they were not very good at holding their breath.

Naruto was the first to arrive, and promptly spawned three clones, which shouted "Uzumaki Secret Art: Clone Impact!", and vanished in thunderous crashes.

Zabuza was tossed end over end into the water as the concentrated impacts shattered his left arm and a leg.

Then Sakura attacked, throwing a brace of kunai as the echoes of Naruto's passing reverberated around the bay, several of them hitting Zabuza in the gut, torso, and one cut through the bandages on his cheek as he struggled to stand on the water with only one leg. He nearly toppled, but was able to use his sword as a counterweight to keep himself a float.

"Fucking brats!" He snarled, the bandages falling away to show shark like teeth. "Haku! Where the fuck are you? I thought I told you to deal with the brats!"

Naruto just untied the mask from his belt and held it up.

Zabuza fell over in shock, barely able to stay atop the water. "She's..."

"Yes." Naruto confirmed, tying the mask back onto his belt.

The ex-mist ninja began to laugh maniacally as his blood stained the water red.

Kakashi moved over to Naruto. "Is that-"

"Yes, that is the mask that belonged to the rather attractive Hunter-nin who spirited away Zabuza from the earlier fight." Naruto stated matter-of-factly. He looked slightly sad. "She's dead now... As are the people who tried to kill Tazuna and his family."

"Hahahahaha! You killed her?" There was almost a note of desperation in his voice, but it was swamped out by a fit of coughing as he balanced on his one working knee, and his other hand swept out in an arc, sending the blade humming towards them as a bladed disk of death.

Naruto took a step forward/to the side, and, in a blur of movement, redirected the saw-like edge into the sand with the flats of both hands.

Zabuza spit out a bloody mouthful, and groaned as he maneuvered his broken arm into a handseal. "If I'm going to die, I am going to take you down with me-" he turned to face a rather old man who had just walked out of the mist with six heavily-armed men. "-Gato!"

The ninja's body had been wrapped in slightly luminescent bandages- but at a slight flare of chakra, they unraveled all at once, revealing oddly-shaped sealing tags stitched to his body. Another flare of chakra made all the drawings slide around in the disconcerting method that sealing tags do when active, and suddenly there was a much, much greater surge of chakra.

Zabuza's body began to break apart as his chakra flared, a red. Mist surrounding him as his power spiked, and everyone heard the sound of cracking bones. Quickly, he flashed through a dozen handseals, and shouted the name of his Jutsu. "Water Style: Bloody Flying Shark Jutsu!"

Dozens of sharks, made out of red-tinted water, flew out of the ocean around him, every one red eyed and carried on wings that looked more akin to rippling flippers going down their backs. Fifty sharks turned and faced Gato and his men, and fifty sharks flew into the air.

When they came down, the mogul was reduced to hamburger. His guards were too, but who cared about them?

Zabuza's power vanished, his body leaking blood from every square inch as he collapsed, face up, into the water. "Haha..." He sounded tired. "His face was fucking hilarious..."

Then, with just the ripple of the bay moving him, he slipped under the waves.

* * *

 **End Chapter 13**

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed the fight! This is the effective end of the Wave Arc, and next chapter will focus of Hakus' 'death', and where she goes (along with a few other tidbits).

Chapter after that will cover the beginning of the Chunin exams- and now, I need to start packing. Movers come on the 27th, and I leave for a massive drive on the 28th. I think.

Yeah... I need to book my hotel rooms.

So... Please review! I will answer any questions I can!

Take it easy.


	14. Chapter 14- Subtlety of the Psychic

(A/N- start)  
Hey guys! I want to apologize in advance for this chapter being so short. I have been trying to find a job- applied to over a hundred in the last three days- and am still looking.  
I have a useful degree and experience in data analysis! I am willing to move to be closer to the job! I have experience consulting for multiple clients! Why am I not wanted? :(  
Anyway, here's the chapter while I prep for my uncle's wedding.  
Enjoy, y'all word-junkies.

I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any derivation thereof. If I did, I wouldn't be job-hunting.  
Please review- it is literally the only sort of feedback us authors get.  
(A/N- end)

LL: "You want to know the difference between Dwarves and Other Sentient Life? Men can have a brilliant idea of making a gorgeously sculpted chair out of several someone's ribs- and then not do it. Wizards don't even think about it. Goblins may write it down for later reference, Elves will just ignore it, and Fae have more important things on their mind. Dwarves have to build it, or they quickly go insane. I mean really, really fucking bugnuts. It is a simple difference, but a significant one."

HP: "Is that why the fortress is filled with bodies?"

LL:"Yes. Yes it is. It is also why those bodies are so artistically arranged."

:-: Luna Lovegood on the subject of Dwarfs in a future Fanfiction. Coming to a FF site near you (eventually)!

Damn... Dwarf Fortress creates some hilarious stories.

* * *

 **Chapter 14- Subtlety of the Psychic**

 _Suddenly, Naruto erupted from the fog, arriving in a thunderclap. He took a moment, to glance around, and then vanished in another thunderclap._

Naruto arrived in the little mist-clearing where Haku was waiting for him with a thunderclap, and since she had her hands over her ears, it didn't seem to hurt her. He sent a signal through the synced clones and two clones teleported in, each holding the arm of one of the more expensive mercenaries that Gato had hired for this job.

They placed the man on the ground silently, and left with barely a ripple of displaced fog. Then, they returned, placing a copy of Haku's clothes on top of the paralyzed mercenary.

That was Haku's cue. "What?-"

Naruto gestured with a finger, and one of the man's limbs crunched, as if grasped in the fist of an angry God. Only the trance spike in the man's forehead kept him from crying out.

Then he touched a seal in his coat, and fifty lbs of metal dust materialized with a quiet 'poof'. Quickly, he sent it to grating against itself, creating a painful humming noise. After swirling enough saliva around in her mouth to get the proper gurgling noises, Haku made a few handsigns, and some ice needles crystallized out of the mist with a series of distinctive crystalline tinkling noises. "No, Please!"

Naruto yanked the ThoughtSpike out of the man's head as he formed his next technique. "Uzumaki Secret Art: Red Death."

Haku watched in fascination as the man, and surrounding plant life was flattened, as if by a giant hammer. Everything in the impact zone took on a red tint for just a moment, and then the man, who was really, really dead (considering he resembled a pancake more than anything else she thought it was rather merciful) started oozing. Still, she had her lines. "W-wait-" then coughed wetly.

Naruto twisted his hands. "Uzumaki Secret Art: Plowshare."

The ground in front of him folded over and into itself, a cascading wave that reached the corpse fairly quickly.

"Hel-" she stopped speaking as the man's head was sucked under, and deeper soils were tossed over his body. It was almost ground up, the slicing gradient of various forces overturning everything in its path and reducing the ground to a fine mulch.

Quick as a blink, Naruto tossed a thin ThoughtSpike into Haku's forehead. His voice seemed to resonate to the very core of her being, and she basked in the feeling while he spoke.

 _"Right. Haku, I need your mask, and a few drops of blood on it."_

She quickly (and silently) removed her mask, pulled a senbon out of her hair, pricked her hand, and let a few drops of blood fall on the mask. Then, as an afterthought, let her palm fill with the Crimson liquid, and soaked the strap of her mask.

 _"Thanks- see you soon."_ Naruto took the mask, then walked out of the clearing, removing the spike as he did so.

Haku silently walked through the fog, and walked out into another clearing. There, as arranged, a clone of Naruto was waiting.

"'Sup." The clone was inspecting a rather large scroll, and hadn't really looked at her. Still, she knew he knew exactly where she was- and that thought was somewhat comforting to the woman.

"Am I going to be able to see Zabuza again?" She asked, completely deadpan. She was a tool- nothing more or less... But she still wanted to say goodbye.

"Sure." The clone rolled up the scroll, closed it, and beckoned. "But first, place some of your blood on this symbol."

She did so without hesitation, and the symbols on the scroll glowed a disturbing red for a moment.

Then the clone handed her the scroll. "This is for you."

She took the scroll uncertainly.

"Now, come on- we have to exchange the space soon." Clone-Naruto grabbed her, held her close, and then there was a sudden flux of discontinuity, and... They were in another clearing.

"Um..." There were clones.

There were four new clones surrounding her, each of them seated on the ground with their palms up, facing away from her. Four other clones were seated opposite the first four, and between the he two there was some sort of barrier that was barely visible as it shimmered in the dark.

The Naruto next to her held up three fingers. Then two. Then one.

Another major discontinuity, and suddenly the barrier around their tiny patch of land was surrounded by water on all sides.

Literally surrounded by water- it was incredibly dark.

* * *

Back at the initial transposition site, the Naruto clones had to stifle their laughter- it seemed like a fish had been sliced in half by the spacial exchange, and looked very disoriented from the act of losing its tail half.

That, and the refractive properties of the rather large sphere of water made its expression easily visible.

* * *

Haku was struggling to understand what she was seeing. One second, they were standing in one clearing, the next in an entirely different one, and now... They were underwater in a bubble, standing on the same ground.

She sat down heavily, her mind trying to rationalize how this happened.

"Don't think about it."

She looked up at the clone Naruto, who was looking up with some significant focus.

"Seriously, don't think about it. Teleporting is not easy to understand, nor is it easy to do." The clone kept staring upwards. "I could explain it to you, but the Original likes to do that sort of thing himself- There he is! Prepare for locomotion."

The other clones looked up, where the first one was pointing, and, in concert, slightly changed the shape of the bubble. It shot forward, on an intercept course with the sinking man.

Zabuza sank rather quickly, pulled down by one of the Narutos as their bubble approached. Once they were close enough, the bubble became the perfect sphere once again. The man drifted, gently, through the skin of the bubble, and floated serenely onto the floor between the main Naruto-clone and Haku.

With a cry of "Master!" Haku tried to get him breathing again- and managed to do so after a few seconds. After a few handsigns, her hands lit up green, and she was running them all over his chest and head, trying to revive him. "Wake up... Please?" She sounded like she was about to break down. "please?"

Clone-Naruto grimaced, and gently moved Haku off of Zabuza's body. "This will give him a few minutes, but it won't be pretty." His hands moved quickly, transposing the two locations again- this time, returning the bubble to land.

The multitude of Naruto moved themselves so that they formed a sitting wedge- and the tip of the wedge had its hand on Zabuza's chest. Power thrummed through the air as the clones did... Something.

One by one, the clones began popping, leaving an unbroken series of hands still channeling that odd power straight into Zabuza- who opened his eyes and vomited a significant amount of water before coughing several times.

Then his nose, eyes, and ears began to seep blood.

Naruto had been reduced to three clones, and the main one looked drawn. "Alright- he should have a few minutes. You can say your final goodbyes- hopefully his passing will be painless." Two clones popped, and now there was one. "I'm out of chakra now, so unseal a clone if you want to talk. We'll see you soon..." He looked at Zabuza, who was oozing blood. "It was an experience knowing you Zabuza."

The clone popped as Haku clutched Zabuza to her chest.

His passing was painless- and Haku got to say her goodbyes.

* * *

A day or so later, walking along the coast of the Land of Noodles towards the Land of Water, Haku judged that she was far enough away from any town to unseal a Naruto to talk with.

A few moments and a puff of smoke later, she had a companion.

cNaruto nodded to the girl. "'Sup?"

"Why did you wake Zabuza-sama up, Naruto-sama?" Haku closed the scroll while they talked. "You had already fulfilled your end of the deal."

cNaruto winced, then sighed. "I... I wanted to test something, and worst case he would not wake up immediately."

"Ah... Does it have anything to do with your power?"

"Yes. My power is called 'Psi'. I am psychic- and so are several others." Some leaves flew out of the forest, and began to spiral around his head- a neat little telekinetic trick that. "I was trying to heal him with a technique called 'Cure'. I didn't know if it could let him heal, or overload his system and kill him- it is a bit hard to use, as I haven't been able to use any live subjects before now."

Haku raised an eyebrow. "Psychic? So what- you can see the future?"

"No- that's a rarer talent. Anko can do that though!" He grinned as she went from amused to gobsmacked. "Telekinesis, physical enhancement, elemental manipulation, telepathy- all of these things fall under my purview."

"How does that let you heal people?"

"It... Tricks?" cNaruto cocked his head to one side as he thought about how to word this explanation."Yes- it tricks the person into subconsciously accepting the incoming psi, then they redirect it to areas that are badly injured. Usually as regenerative Rise- but the power needs to 'feel' like the injured persons own power otherwise the two fight, which is where the trick comes in. Unfortunately, Zabuza-san was unable to handle the influx of Rise, and thus the full body orifice bleeding... And subsequent heart failure... And other bleeding..." He looked really flustered about that. "At least I was able to turn off his pain sense through the Trance Link I established in preparation for the Cure attempt."

Haku blinked a few times, but nodded. "If you hadn't tried, I might have died as well- or would have been unable to say goodbye."

cNaruto snorted. "You? Die? Please- you were more badass than Kakashi-teme! How would you have died- jumped in front of someone elses' attack?"

Haku's smile was just visible for a moment before she hid it behind her sleeve. "I will admit, that does sound rather implausible."

"So... Where are we heading?" cNaruto looked around for a moment, then flicked his fingers on one hand into the air, firing a pulse of Trance out to see what was surrounding them.

Haku just caught a glimpse of something flicker in his hand, but she didn't really focus on it. "I am going to the Land of Water, and intend to become part of the Mist Resistance."

cNaruto blinked. "The what?"

"The Village Hidden in the Mist has, within the last five years, undergone a series of bloodline purges, orchestrated by the Fourth Mizukage. The ninja and civilians who have or may have a unique bloodline were being executed. So, some survivors began to resist the purges, and it eventually caused the equivalent of a civil war in the hidden village."

"What about the Samurai and Monk forces?" cNaruto inquired. "Wouldn't the wholesale slaughter of civilians cause the Water Samurai and Monks to come down on the village like a ton of bricks?"

"That's what I thought would happen- but so far the Daimyo of Water doesn't seem to care what happens to these people." Haku muttered bitterly. "Of course, the killing of those who have some bloodlines has been happening for a long time- we have been seen as warlike, and they don't want too many bloodthirsty people around."

cNaruto's mouth twitched. "That was a lot of sarcasm."

"They have been killing us off in the name of _peace_." She growled. "I doubt anyone dying will be able to make them stop."

"So you want to join the rebels and... What?"

She sighed. "Help them somehow. You gave me a great deal of Gato's money and gold- I can at least give them some of it."

"I could help." cNaruto held up a hand to stall her. "Not a clone- the real me. I can teleport, once I know where the place is and what is looks like. So, when you find the resistance, summon another clone, and then pop me. I will arrive as quickly as I can. Hell, there is a fairly good chance that, by the time you decide to call me, myself and a few others will be ready to leave Konoha anyway."

"You want to leave Konoha? Why?"

"Oh, the usual- the villagers tried to kill me a hundred or so times in different ways, the village hates most of us, and we don't want to get sucked into a Shinobi World War in the next decade."

Haku stopped walking in mid-step as her mind finished processing the entire sentence. "A shinobi world war?"

"Yup. Major conflicts happen like clockwork from what I can tell, and the shinobi villages are preparing for a major conflict. Well, at least Cloud, Leaf, Sand, Hot Spring, Rain, Rock, and Waterfall are all preparing to go to war."

She slowly looked at him. "How do you know this?"

cNaruto smirked. "My Sensei knew it, so I know it." He shuddered. "Seriously- that mans' mind is filled with so much porn that I feel like I will need to drink some bleach to forget it."

Haku's head tilted to the side. "What's bleach?"

"A summoned commodity that is very good at removing dyes from fabric and destroying organic material." cNaruto said absently. Then he snapped to attention. "Wait- you don't know what bleach is?"

"No... Most places don't sell summoned goods. Especially since the Uzumaki vanished, a great deal of summoned goods that were usually sold on the open market disappeared."

"Ah."

"When do you and those others you mentioned intend to leave Konoha?"

"Chunin exams. About two and a half months or so from now."

Haku perked up. "Maybe you and the others can become part of the new Hidden Mist village if the Rebels win!"

"No. Becoming part of another Hidden Village would only make our problems worse." cNaruto said sadly. "We want to get away from all this... This wasteful conflict."

"Oh..."

The two continued to walk in silence for a while, before Haku had to ask the question that was burning in her mind.

"So... What is your plan to leave?"

* * *

And sighed as she pulled herself out of bed. Two days after reporting in to the Hokage, she had been called to his office and informed- not asked, informed- that she would be proctoring the second stage of the upcoming Chunin exams. She had been given the unenviable task of Chunin-proofing the Forest of Death... And that was easier said than done.

For starters the forest (which was roughly twice the size of Konoha Proper) was filled with hundreds of creatures that could kill a civilian easily. 75% of these could be beaten by trained genin, 18.75% of these could be beaten by a Chunin, and the remaining 6.25% could be a challenge for most Jounin. The forest itself was a death trap, with giant leeches, massive natural insect-like things, carnivorous bunnies, and aggressive trees- it was actually part of the Jounin test in Konoha to survive a month in the forest.

What made the task more difficult was that she had to make sure some of the rarer (and more dangerous) species within the forest were not wiped out. They were routinely harvested by various Jounin for some civilian clans who specialized in various goods made from the bodies of those creatures. The Lightning Centipede (a fifty-foot long centipede that naturally charged its body with lightning chakra, and was prized for its venom, chakra sacks -which were used to make higher quality soldier pills) and the Fire Serpents (ten foot long snakes that could spit a really corrosive/inflamible acid over a hundred feet, then light the stuff- their acid made some of the best contact poison in the Land of Fire due to the fact it would only corrode living tissues) were especially prized, and could only be taken down by a dozen Jounin working in concert.

Thankfully, the 1st and 2nd Hokage's both worked to build the massive walls that encircled the forest (along with the Uzumaki of the time), and made the forest a nearly perfect prison for the monsters within. Of course, the only way in or out was through the ground beneath them- or the four gates... But they were only constructed to keep the monsters in.

Anko stopped moving, midway to the gravity-shower that was built into this tower. She's not going to be here after the Chunin exams, so what does she care? She shrugged. "Fuck it- they'll have to deal with the monsters."

She really enjoyed her shower.

* * *

Across Konoha, Hinata No-Name and Ayame Ichiraku were standing in their apartment, looking down at the body of the undercover Root agent. She was still alive, but due to the nearly invisible ThoughtSpike sticking out of her forehead, the undercover agent was completely immobilized.

Hinata had noticed the odd seal on the girl's tongue, and both Psychers had dove in to the girl's mind to find out why it was there. This was two days after Hinata had lost her name, and they had to figure out what to do with the girl before she died.

"Um..." Ayame shifted uneasily. "Can we give her to Anko?"

"... You know what, why not." Hinata slumped on the stool in their tiny apartment. "It's not like we can just fix her."

Their peek into the girl's mind was not pleasant. The nearest experience either of them could compare it to would be like being haunted- but of course, they had never been haunted. There were several voices, always chanting in the background various rules, and multiple choruses all saying different things.

On top of that, the agent seemed unable to conceive of disobeying orders given by the right sort of person that made their seal tingle. And, of course, her current orders were to get pregnant via Naruto Uzumaki. She didn't know why or any long term reason, but she knew who she was working for- and where some other Root agents were.

"You take her to Anko- I am going to see what else is going on. I'll meet you at the tower later."

Hinata picked up the comatose girl, and, once Ayame had opened the door, accelerated to just barely subsonic speeds.

Ayame walked away from the apartment more sedately, wreathing herself slowly in 'ignore me' fields and surrounded herself with 'I am not important' impressions as she walked towards the first Root Safehouse.

* * *

Ino Yamanaka blinked as she suddenly lost track of Ayame. "Ok, how the hell did that happen? I was looking right at her, and..." She paused in thought. She had been looking right at her, but it began to get harder, and harder, until she had to blink, and then suddenly the girl was gone.

"Maybe I should ask Daddy about this..." She muttered.

* * *

Once she got close enough, Ayame sent out a wave-like pulse of Trance, and felt/saw the reflected pulse of the minds within the SafeHouse. From the outside, it looked like any other cornerstore in the village... But tunnels opened up in the basement, which went down farther than any other building in the village went up.

Grinning under the visual rippling that the strong Trance fields formed in the air, she strode into the store, and gently touched the back of the head that belonged to the man at the counter. A tiny, drill-like spike emerged from her fingertip and seamlessly slid into the agents' head.

A moment of mind-mining later, and she knew the password to open/close the door. Some light 'ignore this area' fields around the secret door down, and Ayame walked into the Root base completely undetected.

Down she went, past well-worn stairs, past the guard who was specifically looking out for a person doing what she was doing, and into the main dormitory-like structure within this level of the SafeHouse. There, a few dozen agents slept in rows- no blanket, just a pad on the stone or concrete flooring.

Ayame sat down in the middle of the room and relaxed. Her power spread out like vines, tongs of thought-spikes emerging from the gentle miasma of power around her emerging quietly before sliding into the foreheads of those sleeping.

It was a heady feeling, being connected to 43 minds at the same time. They were sleeping, but the pattern of echoing choirs was identical in all of the minds- they had been conditioned in exactly the same way as the girl in the apartment.

The thunderous chorus of choirs pounded on Ayame's mind, but with a flex of her developing mental muscles, she was able to push the voices aside so that she could collect the information she wanted.

What she wanted was everything. Jutsu, pass codes, code words, weapon lockers, hidden accounts (Konoha had a few banks), contacts, safehouses- all of these were collected, catalogued, then stored in the 'back' of her mind for later.

It made her feel bloated somehow.

Regardless, she stood up, removed her spikes, and calmly walked out of the secret door- now they had information, all Ayame and the others had to do was plan the order of the... Acquisitions before they left.

* * *

Anko and Hinata were not cackling at the fact that they had a prisoner- mostly because Anko didn't cackle out of professional pride and Hinata didn't know how to cackle.

At least, that was how Ayame saw it when she arrived. "I thought you two would be inside the girl by now."

Anko cracked up immediately,and Hinata turned beet red.

"You knew we were going to react like that!" Accused the white-eyed girl.

The oldest kunoichi fell off her chair laughing.

"Oh come on Anko- it wasn't that funny." Muttered Ayame.

Anko abruptly stopped laughing. "It wasn't. But what you described being inside the girl's head... That scares me."

Hinata cocked her head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Someone in this village-" Anko was interrupted by Ayame.

"Danzo. Danzo has been forcing this into the heads of others."

"- _Danzo_ has a method of successfully brainwashing people." Anko continued as if the interruption had never taken place. "And in such a way that is easily reproducible among multiple subjects each with a different psyche."

Ayame closed her eyes. "You might want to see the effect firsthand."

Anko's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Yeah! Of course I need more nightmare fuel! Let's go take a stroll in the mind of a girl who is obviously brainwashed- that's a wonderful idea!"

"Just for that, we're going in."

"Don't you-"

There was a sudden feeling of discontinuity, and the rather empty room in the Tower turned into a white void.

"-dare!..." Anko blinked, and her eye twitched as she looked at the unusually smug Ayame. "Damn it..."

"Your shields need work Anko." Ayame observed as Hinata popped into existence in the empty void. "I barely felt any resistance."

"..." Anko just glared.

"So... What now?" Hinata looked around the void surrounding them. Then she looked down. "Wait... What are we standing on?"

"The void." Ayame sounded confused.

"Yes, but-" Hinata was quickly interrupted.

"Don't think about it. No, seriously don't think about it. If you start thinking about it it will give you a migraine." Ayame smirked slightly. "Yeah... I had fun designing this in my mindscape. Now... Anko, you need to see what is inside this girl's head. Go through this door."

Anko started looking around. "Okay, now where is the..." She stopped moving, looking straight at a door. "That was not there a moment ago."

"It's my mind that is bridging the connection. My rules." Ayame grinned. "Now, who wants to jump into the mind of a brainwashed psychopath Root agent?"

* * *

 **End Chapter 14**

* * *

Hope everyone enjoyed that. Please review- it really helps us.

Take it easy!


	15. Chapter 15- Arrival and Containment

(A/N-start)  
Hey guys. So... This chapter gave me a lot of trouble for some reason. It felt like the characters were fighting to be placed down. This is the sixth draft of the chapter, and frankly it covers everything I want to cover.  
Now, RL is bugging me right now. Still trying to find a job. Seriously, it's like a bad joke- I have received refusals that range from 'you do not meet the qualifications' to 'you need to embellish less'.  
Embellish less? If anything, I leave crap out! If I didn't, my resume would be four pages long!  
Yeah... I have been rather frustrated by this for a while now. Thankfully, I still have my backup plans in place.  
Anyway, enjoy the chapter.  
I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or other source material. If I did, I wouldn't be job hunting.  
Cthulhu for President 2016! Why vote for the lesser evil?  
(A/N- end)

* * *

 _"I see what is really there- it's a lot harder and confusing than seeing what isn't there. After all, anyone can see what isn't there... But not everyone can see what is really happening. See?... No, I guess you don't. Don't worry about it. In fact, just forget I ever said this." -"-!;/ &-$&/$- _¥}{¥€{'_

* * *

 **Chapter 15- Arrival and Containment**

* * *

Team Seven returned to Konoha in silence. The only sounds that broke it after they left Wave were perverted giggles as Kakashi read his book, and the occasional sounds of brushstroke as Naruto drew more seals (the paper being held between two clones and a third holding his ink bottle).

Most of the way, at least.

Unsurprisingly, Sakura was the one who snapped. "That's it!" She yelled, right in the middle of the woods that surrounded Konoha. "Isn't anyone going to ask me what they named the bridge?"

Five and a half pairs of eyes looked at her, before four and a half turning back to their prior tasks- brooding, reading porn, and writing seals.

The remaining eyes belonged to one of the numerous Narutos- and quite frankly, she had forgotten which was the original ages ago.

"Frankly, Sakura, no." Naruto walked next to her as he kept himself quiet. "The bridge is a bridge, and none of us care about the fact that you managed to get the name of the bridge an hour before we left. We frankly don't care. Bridges are not named on maps around here."

"Fine..." She huffed. "Then what are you doing?"

Naruto have her an odd look, and spoke slowly. "I am talking to you."

"I meant the other you! You have some sort of hive-mind thing going on with your clones." Sakura didn't notice as one of the clones almost tripped over his own feet.  
Kakashi noticed the lapse, but didn't say anything.

The Naruto walking next to her chuckled a bit. "What hive-mind thing? Ah..." He grinned. "My clones are copies of me- so they know what I am creating them for- although, a hive mind would be rather cool." He gestured to the three clones, and they brought the scroll over. "I'm just working on the scroll for fire-sealing."

Everyone gave the nearest Naruto a confused expression.

"I'm telling you, it's actually a thing!"

One of the Naruto's leaned over to whisper to Sakura. "Maybe, but we haven't gotten it to work yet."

The first Naruto facepalmed.

They entered Konoha with Sakura slightly laughing, and Naruto swearing as his test scroll burst into flame.

* * *

Soon the group of ninja was standing in front of the desk of the Hokage- who was playing with a summoned object.

Or, more specifically, sitting on it.

Kakashi stood at attention while the Hokage twisted from side to side, making annoying 'squeak' noises as the chair he sat in protested slightly, and the three genin tried not to laugh at the absurdity of the Hokage swiveling around in his chair.

After a minute or so of constant squeak-noises, it became clear that the Hokage had no intention of stopping.

"Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked tentatively as the old man began to spin around fairly quickly. "Do you mind if we gave you our report?"

The Hokage reached out a hand, and placed it on the desk at the apex of one rotation, bringing himself to a stop almost instantly. "Go ahead."

Kakashi regaled the tale of their journey to Wave, downplaying Naruto's role in their combat, making subtle finger signs to indicate where the inserted anomalies in the story were. Then, as he noticed Naruto beginning to frown more and more in the reflection of an ink bottle, he continued on to the events that occurred while the group was in Wave itself.

Of course, he downplayed everything Naruto did there too, as per the plan, and watched the genin's face become... Resigned? Regardless, once Kakashi's tale was complete, he bowed to the Hokage. "Hokage-sama, is there anything you need us for?"

The Hokage pulled out his pipe from a drawer, and lit it with a slight flare of fire-chakra from a nostril. After taking a few puffs, he gently placed the pipe on his desk. "Yes." Then he proceeded to pull out a roll of paper, a brush, pen a quick missive and then seal it with a blob of wax. "Due to the difficulty of this prior mission, which should have been A ranked if not S Ranked due to the presence of multiple ninja enemy combatants, and the machinations of a major economic player, I have instructed the payment office to provide the payment equal to one A ranked mission for your team." He didn't hand the scroll over yet. "But I have one question Kakashi... What did the bridge builder call the bridge once it was completed?"

Kakashi looked uncomfortable. "... Hokage-sama, I do not know what the bridge was named. We did not remain there for the naming ceremony."

Sakura, who had been (from appearances) trying to force the wood on a wall to burst into flame with her glare, raised a hand.

The Hokage looked at her, and nodded. "Yes, Sakura-chan? Do you have something to add?"

"Hokage-sama, I know what the name of the bridge is." She meekly responded.

"And?" He prompted when she didn't immediately tell him.

"It's the great Wave Bridge." She said meekly.

The Hokage's face didn't even twitch. "Good. I will inform our cartography department. You are dismissed."

"Yes Hokage-Sama." Chorused the three genin.

* * *

After being handed their pay, Kakashi told them to meet up the next day at 9 am, and vanished. Sasuke walked off without a backward glance, and Sakura spent a minute or so watching him walk away.

"He's never going to reciprocate any positive feelings you know. He's obsessed with killing his brother."

Sakura flinched as Naruto's words bit straight into where her heart was, before she covered it up with a glare and retort. "I don't see you being close to any one, Baka! And

I don't want your advice!" She added the last as an afterthought.

Naruto just shrugged. "Your call. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, Haruno."

He vanished without a sound, or obscuring swirl like normal speed techniques utilized.

Sakura Haruno wasn't a very strong ninja. She was smart though, and hadn't been one to ignore the signs that something was changing Naruto.

As she walked she pondered the change that had come over the class idiot since their graduation from trainees to Genin. He had gotten faster, stronger (somehow), more cynical, and quieter. And he wasn't calling her 'Sakura-chan' anymore- and it took more than a month for her to notice.

She stopped in the middle of the street, suddenly feeling sad for some reason, before she shook it off. "I don't care about him. Stupid, unwanted Baka..."

"Forehead! What are you going on about?" Ino Yamanaka was walking down the street, her blond hair bobbing in it's suspended ponytail.

Sakura looked somewhat depressed, and sighed. "Ino, are we doing the right thing trying to get Sasuke's affection?"

The blond looked around for a moment, before dragging Sakura into a secluded alley where they could talk. After a few moments, she quickly wove some chakra, and activated a Jutsu. "Illusion Art: Silent Wall Jutsu." Once the Jutsu took hold, she rounded on Sakura. "Why?"

"I..." Sakura trailed off for a bit before hardening her resolve. "Every time I have tried to support Sasuke during our missions..." She faltered.

Ino bit her lip as she filled in the blanks. "He has never once responded positively?"

Sakura shook her head, almost coming to tears. "No even once! And Naruto was the one that pointed it out to me!"

That made Ino pause. "Naruto pointed that out to you? Seriously?"

"Yes! And he's stopped calling me 'Sakura-chan'!" Sakura looked even more sad then before. "I don't know why Sasuke isn't reciprocating any of my affection, or why Naruto isn't being nice to me anymore!" She almost wailed, but caught herself at the end. After a few moments to gain control of her now wildly escalating feelings, she wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at Ino. "So... That was how my week went. Also Naruto killed some people. How was your week?"

Ino blinked owlishly, temporarily nonplussed by the abrupt change of subject. "Um... Fine?"

Sakura grinned, with red eyes. "See anything weird?"

The blond groaned. "Yes! You know that ramen stand that Naruto always went to after class?"

Sakura nodded. "Of course."

"The waitress is able to do something really weird."

The pinkette's brow furrowed. "What do you mean by 'weird'?"

Ino leaned in- this was important stuff. "So, I heard through the grapevine that Hinata had a falling out with her Father, and became disinherited, right?"

That was news to Sakura.

"And I wanted to see for myself if this was true." Ino continued. "So, I began asking around if she had another address that anyone knew about, and I asked the man who ran the ramen shop- and his assistant answered that Hinata had been staying with her for a few days. So, after a bit more digging, I staked out her home, and saw Hinata enter with Ayame-"

"Who's Ayame?" Sakura interjected.

"The ramen waitress from the stand." Ino waved a hand dismissively. "And after Ayame soon left, but somehow I lost her in an empty street." She rubbed her temples at the memory. "It was hard enough to focus on her before, but every step made it seem as though the world was pushing to ignore her! Damn weird."

Sakura looked thoughtful. "Well... That's a coincidence. Naruto has been demonstrating odd skills as well."

Ino cocked her head to the side. "Like what?"

"Some sort of speed Justu, and his clones seem linked. Maybe the two are connected?"

That stirred something in Ino. "Linked? What do you mean, linked?"

"Um..."

"Tell me! I need to know!" And she did need to know- although Ino would be at a loss to explain why.

"His clones were working in sync, and doing things without any sort of verbal instruction. Complex things. Ad-libbed actions were being smoothly interlinked between clones that clearly couldn't see each other." Sakura paused for a moment, before muttering. "Almost like they were all of one mind."

In a second, Ino had canceled her Jutsu, and was running as fast as she could towards the family's flower shop.

* * *

Naruto, having not set a location to rendezvous with the girls, was enjoying the afternoon sunlight as he sat on top of the Hokage Monument. Before him the village stretched out like a living creature, people and carts moving along the streets like a slow heartbeat- or maybe an anthill.

A gentle pulse of Trance sent thousands and thousands of simple ThoughtSpikes into the air, where they homed in on every living mind in the village, and giving him a real-time link to any one person.

Or all of them.

He opened all the connections simultaneously- and had to surprise a scream as he suddenly experienced the equivalent of a few tens of thousands of whispering voices assaulting his mind. It wasn't just sound though- hundreds of conflicting flavors reached him, thousands upon thousands of smells, and physical sensations galore bathed him in hundreds of thousands of different directions.

He only held the connection for half a second, but he felt everything that the entire village felt, thought, and experienced for a brief moment- and it was absolutely overwhelming. Every mind had its own pressure, it's own internal forces, and the combined experiences of all those within the village left him vomiting and writhing from the sensory overload.

"That was such a stupid idea..." Naruto lay on the top of Monument, groaning and waiting for the cramping and nausea to pass as he assimilated the information he had just received. "I would haphazard a guess that is a tiny fraction of what a god would feel constantly." He muttered, then spit to clear his mouth from the vomit, and wipe his still-bleeding nose. Well- at least he learned a few useful things.

First, he learned where his girls were... Then he realized that he thought of them as 'His Girls'. With a shrug, Naruto pushed that realization to the back of his mind- he had another concern.

Second, he learned that Sakura had told Ino what she had theorized, and Ino was now heading at speed somewhere else. The Yakama clan had odd, shielded minds, and while he could recognize their mental pattern anywhere, they were not easy to enter. Crude Trance probes would glance off their minds- and a dozen of his had glanced off their targets.

A gentle Trance pulse out from himself illuminated the village in his mind's eye, the thousands of minds like a shimmering starfield- save a few.  
The Yamanaka minds looked like perfect spheres, gleaming dull silver in their completeness, while the minds of his girls all flickered like thunderstorms, spread out and encompassing the minds around themselves to some degree- depending on how Trance-strong they were.

As it was, his girls were on-route to the monument, having felt both his area-wide probe and the Trance pulse, they were now homing in on his psychic presence.

Hinata arrived first- she was the fastest of the three- and almost glomped onto him, but was stopped by a wall of telekinesis. She pouted for a moment, before seeing his current state.

"Hi Hinata..." Naruto grimaced as he tried to sit up, then stopped moving as the cramping returned with a vengeance. "I kinda fucked up an experiment." His slightly cheesy smile was offset by the fact that he was laying on his back, on the barren stone of the monument, covered in his own vomit, with legs and arms twitching sporadically.

"It's alright Naruto. When Anko shows up, she can use a water Jutsu to clean you off." With that simple statement, Hinata sat down next to the still-convulsing Naruto and admired the view of the daytime city.

Anko was next to show up, and announced her presence by laughing- but then cutting off abruptly. "Hey Gaki, are you alright?"

"Oh, hi Anko." Naruto tried to look in her direction, but he couldn't bend his neck far enough (more cramping). "My-"

Ayame appeared in a quick burst of deceleration, and clapped both hands to her mouth in shock. "Naruto! Are you okay?"

Naruto sighed. "Somewhat. Anko, can you spare a water Jutsu?"

The Jounin smirked. "You want me to hose you down? I can't do it from this angle unless you want someone on the ground below to wonder why they are being pelted with vomit runoff."

Naruto groaned, and extorted his power once more to lift himself slightly off the ground, where he then slid into position along the farther side of the monument- all liquid would drain off the structure without attracting undue attention.

With way too much glee, Anko hosed him down with a variant of one of the more lethal water Jutsu.

As soon as he was clean, Hinata glomped onto him.

* * *

A few minutes later (after Hinata had been willing to let go of him), the quartet was sitting in a Root SafeHouse, surrounded by the frozen forms of various root agents, glowing silver buds protruding from their mouths in a rictus of horror.

"Nice work Ayame." Naruto nodded at one of the statue-like agents. "But did you need to do that?"

The ramen waitress shrugged. "No... But they were an immediate threat, and now they are not." She twirled a finger, and one of the Root ninja shriveled into dust where he stood, leaving a silver, leafless tree in his place. It beat with a steady, pulsating light- almost a heartbeat. "Now though, they are a valuable source of power for me, and healing for all of us." She grinned. "I remembered your lessons on holding and applying life-force through my psi." The tree collapsed into a tiny pinprick of light, which wove a pattern between her fingers. "And it feels so tingly!"

Hinata, who had been watching with her Byakugan, was looking both intrigued and nauseated.

Naruto leaned over and put an arm around her shoulders, which prompted the genin to shut off her bloodline gift. "Well Ayame, it is still disturbing."

Ayame looked around, and saw how two of her three compatriots were looking greenish. With a huff, she grabbed the mote of light, and it vanished into her skin. "Fine... But someday we might need to use this."

"Speaking of someday..." Hinata blushed slightly as she looked up at Naruto. "What's the escape plan?"

He looked nervous for a moment, before he sighed. "In a month and eight days, during the finals of the Chuunin exams, I will utilize my telekinesis to simulate an utterly destructive attack, while exchanging the area around myself with a place currently being scouted around Wave or the Land of Water to simulate the destruction of myself and everything else within the sphere of effect. This is for the express purpose of keeping us safe while during the next decade or so until the inevitable world war pushes the elemental nations into a spiraling destructive pattern. Before this we need to determine where we are going to go after we are presumed dead- along with collect weapons, and some other things. So..." He looked around at the three girls. "Where do you want to go?"

* * *

On the other side of the village from team seven, a mass of ninja were arriving. And within that mass, one red-haired ninja, carrying a gourd on his back, and flanked by his slightly nervous siblings, strode into the village with all the confidence of a wolf walking through a herd of sheep.

At least, until he felt a tingle flash over his mind- like the feel of a deep bass note, but resonating within his mind rather than body- and then a feeling of indescribable fear. An abrupt yank drew his mind on the familiar pathway into the seal, where his mother (or the one-tailed demon raccoon, he couldn't always tell who was speaking) sat. A pyramid of glass contained the tanuki-Bijuu, who glared within the cracked prison, ruby eyes glowing as sand continuously flowed out between pillars of obsidian barring the only entrance. Within the small area illuminated by the blazing sun (an odd little idiosyncrasy with this seal, as the room they were in was just large enough for the pyramid, yet contained an infinitely large and flat desert with said sun), just behind the bars, sat the partially-sand form of his mother.

Gaara no Sabaku, Jinchuuriki of the One-Tailed Bjuu Shukaku, sat down on the sand in front of the bars of the cage, and waited. After a few subjective minutes, the statuesque form of his mother blinked, and adopted a worried expression.

"Gaara" _my vessel_ "there is someone dangerous here." _fear threat death erasure removal pain_ "And you should be careful- don't antagonize them, ok?" _find them and feed their blood to the sand! Blood! Blood! Feed me all their blood!_

Gaara rubbed his eyes as he accepted what Mother was saying- although the two-toned voice gave him a bit of a headache. "How will I know who they are?" He asked, completely deadpan. "And how do you know they are dangerous?"

"I... Don't know." _tingles! Tingles in the mind and rending of the soul!_ "Well, there is that." _tingles! Tingles of doom!_ "If you feel a tingle, or deeper thrum in your mind that has no discernible source, then they are nearby." _Old gods are here! Dark gods! Beings of terrible will and power! Kill them quickly!_ "And be careful- we don't want you to die." _Live for my amusement fleshy creature!_

Gaara nodded, and pushed himself out of the seal, regaining his view of the outside world just in time to regain his ballance.

"Gaara?" Temari asked quietly, apprehension edging her voice. "Is there something wrong?"

He didn't move- but his sand did, encasing himself, Temari, and his brother Kankuro. Once they had been sealed completely, he spoke. "Yes. Mother is afraid."

His brother, Kankuro, was already panicking- he had recurring nightmares of being crushed by Gaara's sand. But the knees of hearing that Shukaku, the Sand Bijuu, was afraid? That made him almost wet himself.

Temari had a slightly better constitution, and only had to suppress the excessive shuddering in her voice. "W-wha-at c-could scare her?" She was careful to use the female pronoun, as Gaara reacted badly if anyone called Shukaku a 'he'.

Gaara just stared ahead, unseeing, as most of the sand surrounding them swirled back into his gourd. Then he began walking- and the other two followed quickly.

A small patch of sand was left on the street, somewhat damp.

* * *

As the girls deliberated over the various destinations they could travel to after their 'death', Naruto felt a tap-like sensation on the back of his mind.

 ** _Kit, could you come in here a moment?_**

Naruto closed his eyes, and reappeared in the massive Dyson sphere that was his mental construct of the Seal. As was standard with his construct, he opened his eyes and surveyed the land from his position on top of the hill.

 ** _"Behind you, kit."_**

He turned around, grinned, and jumped onto the top of the giant fox's head. "Kuri! I thought you didn't want to speak with me for the last week! Feeling alright?"

 ** _"Believe me, you would be the first to know."_** The giant fox grinned, and began walking into the woods. **_"The giant rabbits are a nice touch- and that feels really nice...~ Don't worry though- I was just enjoying the hunting here."_**

Naruto reclined on her head, rubbing the places he had learned made her feel best. "So... What did you want to talk with me about?"

Kurama, the feared Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, sat down abruptly, and closed her eyes. **_"Earlier today, you sent out a pulse that covered the village. Did you feel anything odd?"_**

The boy stopped rubbing one of her ears, and blinked. "Now that you mention it, yes- I felt something rather odd. An odd mind- it looked like one human welded to an obviously nonhuman mind."

 ** _"I never really understood what you saw, but I smelled it."_** Kurama growled as she remembered the stench all too well. **_"One of my siblings, Shukaku, is nearby."_**

Naruto flopped over. "And I would be willing to bet it isn't as nice as you are."

 ** _"She isn't."_** Kurama deadpanned. **_"In fact, I think she still hates me for obliterating her with a Bijudama Beam that one time."_**

The boy winced. "That would do it."

 _ **"But more concerning, I expect that she recognized your Trance Pulse in some way."**_ The great fox rested her head on her paws. **_"I would bet a tail on it... Although..."_** The fox paused thoughtfully. **_"I don't know what she thought it was- but she probably felt it. We all spent time with your ancestors."_**

Naruto didn't move for a minute, as he considered various ways to deal with situation. "Comparing me to her-"

Kurama scoffed. **_"Please- you could sublimate her now! I would be more concerned with your girls- only the white eyed one or the brown haired chef could even inconvenience Shukaku, and she was incredibly good at defending herself... Not to mention a bit bloodthirsty."_**

"In this case, I will tell the girls- we need to make sure that if any of us spot the Jinchuuriki holding her, that none of us approach without appropriate caution." Naruto mused.

The fox Bijuu nodded, and grinned as Naruto swore as he anchored himself with chakra. **_"Indeed. Now, go out and see to your pack."_** A mental flick sent the boy screaming into the sky where he disappeared from the seal.

Naruto twitched as he shifted from the mental construct of the seal to the real world, and carefully tried to interrupt the girls. "Ladies?"

Anko was arguing with Ayame about where to go. "Why go to the Land of Snow? It's cold and boring. We could travel around the coast of Wind instead- see the beaches."

"And be more easily seen by a sand ninja- who are Konoha Allies?" Ayame replied. "No. Snow is independent, and has a fairly xenophobic ninja force. They like tourists, and with the materials Naruto can pull out of the ground, we won't want for anything there."

"Why not Uzu?" Hinata hesitantly offered. "No-one goes there, and we could literally build a home there."

"Um... Ladies?"

Anko flapped a hand dismissively. "There is nothing in Uzu. I have seen the ruins, and the village was destroyed so thoroughly that the very earth was rent."

"Actually, that's not a bad idea." Ayame mused. "We should be able to hide among the ruins-"

"Ladies, the Jinchuuriki of the One-Tailed Bijuu has entered the village." Naruto deadpanned at slightly louder than normal, while imparting the message into a trance wave to get their attention.

All three girls stopped talking for a few seconds.

Surprisingly, Hinata was the first to respond. "When?"

"Within the last hour I would guess." Naruto sent out another pulse, and easily isolated the unique mind-pattern. "Look for a mind with a pyramid-shaped parasite connected to it."

Three pulses echoed, each one Naruto noticed felt/tasted like the girl it originated from.

Anko groaned. "Sonofabitch... That is almost a declaration of war."

Ayame blinked. "Please explain that."

"Jinchuuriki are weapons capable of massive destruction." Anko rubbed her eyes as she envisioned the potential damage of an active Jinchuuriki. "But sending one into another village? Especially that one! He's been known to kill people when he was bored!"

Hinata closed her eyes. "Right... We need to leave sooner than later. How dangerous is he to us?"

"I could kill him without a second thought." Naruto mused. "Ayame-chan would be able to do it with a little risk, and you could literally blow him away Hinata-chan. Anko-"

"I know, I know..." The jounin groaned. "I need to work on my Burst and Trance. I'll get right on it when we leave the village- we'll have time then."

"Well, your foresight and Rise would make any battle between you two a stalemate." The blond genin noted, but nodded. "Still, we have some other problems. Ino Yamanaka was informed by Sakura Haruno that I share a hive-mind with my clones- or at least that she suspected such a thing. We need to deal with them."

"Kill the pink one and brainwash the blond to be a toy?" Hinata suggested innocently, to the nonplussed expressions of the others.

Anko was the first to snap out of it, and tapped her chin in consideration. "Well... Her mom is hot, so she probably will be in a few years... And their family Jutsu are particularly useful since some are fire-and-forget in contrast to the constant concentration needed to utilize Trance..."

Naruto groaned. "Vote?"

Ayame shrugged.

"Fine. All for capturing Ino and Sakura?"

Anko, Hinata, and Ayame all raised their hands.

Naruto grumbled. "Fine... Everyone link up and let's collect them. Ayame-chan, you obscure and link us. Hinata-chan, you're on active observation. Anko-chan, you're securing the away point. I'll capture. Ready for shift."

Ayame let out four Trance threads, each of which connected seamlessly to the others as she acted as the 'node' for the group. She had to catch her breath for a moment as she felt the minds of the others. Naruto's mind echoed with the semi-permanent links to his clones, while Anko felt the brushes of minds against her all the time (and apparently felt their minds like sensual caresses), and Hinata's depth and affection for everyone in the little group began to bleed into her network.

A few calming breaths later, Ayame had blocked off the secondary sensations, and, smirking, sent a quick message to Hinata. _Just tell us how you feel._

Hinata blushed cherry red, and sent her back an image of her stuttering, then flipping off Ayame.

Ayame giggled momentarily, and nodded to Naruto. _Everyone is linked. Obscuring now._

Everyone linked shivered as they felt Ayame flow even more Trance through the pathway, surrounding every single person there with a series of simple suggestions: Ignore Me, Not Your Problem, Not Worthy Of Notice, Background Material, among others. After a few moments, the only thing they could see of each other were slight distortions that were hard to focus on.

 _Good work Ayame-chan. You really have those suggestions down._ Naruto pinged her. His next statement was for everyone. _On the count of 1, jump a foot in the air. 3. 2. 1._

Everyone jumped slightly, and Naruto exchanged the area around them for one just above the Hokage monument.

As soon as they touched down, four blurs shot across Konoha, all three letting off Trance Pulses to home in on Sakura. Since all the girls knew what the minds of Hinata's graduating class felt like, and since Ino's mind was somewhat slippery (hard to target), they had to search for Sakura. It took them 3/4 of a second to reach the roof above their target with a single jump, and Naruto used his Telekinesis to slow them down so that they didn't land too heavily on the room.

 _Hinata-chan, can you locate our targets?_ Naruto felt a slight pulse of happiness from the white-eyed girl before she responded.

 _Fifteen feet directly below us, approaching a male Jounin-strength ninja._ Hinata's mental note gained a slight inflection of fear. _That's her father!_

Naruto reached out, flooded house with Trance and Burst, then released a single command- SLEEP. The Suggestion Field hit the house like a meteorite. Beneath him, every single living thing froze as it succumbed to the urge to sleep, and stopped moving, buoyed up by his Telekinesis- although mice and small animals died when their hearts stopped beating as the mental wave overrode every single pattern in their nervous systems.

Naruto's mental voice was slightly strained. _I'll hold them in place and maintain the link-web. Ayame-chan, can you examine them? This is rather difficult to hold without breaking anything._

 _I'll help hold the web Naru-_ That was as far as Anko got as she attempted to slide her power over the mesh-like web that connected all of them before all three girls felt tiny parts of their minds begin to slide into the web as well.

Naruto, still in control of the web, felt the blending, and snapped every connection between the girls, letting his own mind act as the buffer. _Anko, stop! If try to take control like that, your minds will fuse. That is a terrible way to die. Please- be patient, and help Ayame ID the others in the house._

Anko grumbled slightly, but agreed as she felt the Trance Web reconnect her to the other girls.

Moments later, Ayame and Anko were inside the house.

Ayame stopped at the first person they ran into. A woman, probably around 34 or so, with brown hair and a rather sensual figure. _Anko-chan?_

Anko was slightly zoned out because she was feeling what Ayame and Hinata were feeling- and it was a rather intimate thing. _Sorry, what?_ She blinked, and focused. _Oh. That's Norkio Yamanaka- Ino's mother._

Ayame focused for a moment, and, using her trance, created a head-sized iron maiden-like construct. Within were dozens of Trance spikes, which rippled organically as she slipped the construct into place around Norkio's head.

With the sound of glass sliding against glass, the spikes slid into place, and one of the dozens managed to gain purchase on the Yamanaka's protected mind. After a few moments, Ayame retracted the probes- well, all but the one that had sunk in. _She didn't know anything incriminating._ Ayame stated. _But I erased her memories of Ino and Sakura arriving. Onto the next one._

 _Ino Yamanaka, Sakura Haruno, and Inoichi Yamanaka, her father, are in the room._ Hinata sent through the link as she guided them to their immobilized target. _I think we caught them just in time._

Anko and Ayame saw why as soon as the door opened. Ino was frozen in front of her father's desk, while he took notes on a scroll using a fine brush, while Sakura was standing directly in his field of view and frozen in the middle of saying something.

Ayame manifested her construct again, but paused as everyone in the web heard Naruto speak.

 _Ayame-chan, please check Inoichi's mind first. And, if you can, extract a copy of his knowledge and Jutsu. We can learn it at our leisure later- oh, and don't forget to wipe his memory of Ino and Sakura arriving._

The waitress nodded, sending a pulse of agreement, and after a moment, slid into Inoichi's mind. Three seconds later, she was out, and staggered slightly, blood dripping out of a nostril. _Naruto, I can't channel many more of those._

 _Damn..._ Naruto was feeling the strain now. _And I don't want to hold this any longer than I have to. Wipe Inoichi's mind of the relevant events (or at least the ones featuring Sakura and Ino within the last ten minutes), and implant a memory of falling asleep on his desk. Then, can you sheath Ino and Sakura?_

Ayame blinked, then removed her larger construct from her victim. Because she was bleeding from both nostrils slightly from the mental strain of holding all these constructs and concepts in place, she had to take a few seconds. _Naruto-kun, I am near the edge. I can cloak Haruno and Yamanaka, but you will have to carry them. Someone else should carry me._

 _Anko-chan, bring Ayame-chan to the roof. We will head return to the Root SafeHouse via teleport. Hurry._

Ayame reached out, and finished wrapping Ino with a few layers of various ignore-me suggestions before Hinata's voice resonated through the web, sounding rather panicked. _Adult Male Jounin is approaching the house! Arrival in two minutes!_

 _Shit._ Naruto's 'voice' sounded strange- almost like he was sleepy. _Hinata, link visuals. I am going to channel the shift through you- we cannot leave anyone behind._

 _Let me knock him out!_ Anko pleaded. _I can do so fast enough that he won't know what hit him._

 _He might raise the alarm now, and we don't want the village to be on high alert before we leave._ Naruto didn't snap, but he sounded desperate. _Hinata-chan?_ Naruto felt the trickle of information turn into a deluge, and suddenly he was seeing with Hinata's eyes. _Hold still Ayame-chan!_

The boy gripped Noriko, telekineticly dragged her into the room, and arranged Inochi and Noriko so that they were in positions where they would be easily making out.  
 _Ayame-chan, please flood them with as much lust as you can- along with appropriate suggestions._

She quirked an eyebrow but did so as Naruto relaxed his telekinetic grip on the two. The older Yamanakas began twitching against each other as Ayame briefly linked their sex-drives in on themselves, creating a feedback loop that left both of them clutching each other even in their sleep.

 _Good- they are distracted. Now, everyone, relax._ Naruto stressed his power a little further, gently lifting Ayame, Anko, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and himself just off the ground, before dropping his Suggestion Field, his Telekinetic restraints, and exchanging the lifted people for specific locations above the Hokage monument, then cycling back into the SafeHouse.

From the girl's perspective, they saw a flash of light as they transferred between both locations, and felt the telekinetic lift abruptly shut off as Naruto fell over, exhausted.

A few minutes of resting and utilizing Rise to heal, then Ayame and Naruto dove in to their captives minds, locking away their memories of the recent events.

Anko smirked. "Hey, you know what would be funny?"

Naruto left the thought-spike-construct in Ino's mind when he responded. "Tell us."

"If you did to Ino and Sakura what Ayame-chan did to her parents."

That got reactions from everyone. Ayame looked scandalized and slightly blushing, while both Hinata and Naruto turned bright red.

"Um..."

"Do it."

"Hinata!" Ayame sounded amused, scandalized, and embarrassed.

"We need an excuse, and this would explain why they were seen running off somewhere." Hinata's blush got even worse.

As did Naruto's.

* * *

Ino and Sakura woke up cuddled together in a deserted area of one of the training grounds, having never been aware they had been asleep at all. After all, they were a little too busily trying to extract each other's tonsils with their tongues.

* * *

The next day, Naruto and the rest of Team 7 were waiting at their usual meeting spot- training ground 7. And watching as their Sensei (who was surprisingly only an hour late) repeatedly looked down at papers in his hands, at the three of them, then back down at the papers.

After fifteen minutes Naruto's patience ran out. "Just... Just give us the forms for the Chuunin exam Sensei. Please."

* * *

 **End Chapter 15**

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed that! It was the literary Equivalent of pulling teeth, but I managed to get it done. No idea why.  
Anyway, please review- it encourages us to keep writing. I am still continuing to write the next chapters for the other stories, but this one is still, by far, the easiest to write. 


	16. Chapter 16- First Test

(A/N-start)

Hey everyone!

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I encountered some writers block again, but now, thanks to the source material, I have kicked said block to the curb.

Still looking for a job- sending out resumes and online applications by the dozen per day. Still haven't got any positive bites- but I will keep trying. I am nothing if not persistent. Or stubborn. One of the two.

Anyway, hope y'all enjoy the chapter!

As usually, I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or other source material for this fanfiction. It is a fanfiction- I am not getting paid to write this. Unfortunately.

(A/N-end)

* * *

 _"Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. See those pillars over there? That's where they used to string up thieves who felt 'fine.'" - John Bridger  
_

* * *

 **Chapter 16- First Test**

* * *

There are moments, in a person's life, that define them. Many in the elemental nations would attest to that- and a great deal of them would cite the Chuunin Exams. Others would list great (and oft-destructive) deeds, or perhaps even list the meeting with a single person.

Tenten Higurashi would give the moment that Naruto Uzumaki unsealed a giant cleaver-sword as a perfect example one of her defining moments- although not one of the most dignified ones, as she grabbed Naruto and the sword, toppled over as she could barely hold the thing, and kissed him full on the mouth- or tried to.

She ended up kissing the back of Hinata's head, as she took Naruto's first kiss.

"Mine!" Hinata exclaimed, Byakugan flaring and semitransparent spheres coalescing around her- even as she held Naruto with both hands.

Tenten was more than a little surprised. "Hinata Hyuuga? How did you get back here?" She asked fervently, looking around the forge to see if she had broken anything.

Hinata giggled at the expression on Naruto's dumbstruck face before answering. "It's Hinata No-Name, and I went through the door." Gently, she touched her forehead to Naruto's, and he blinked.

Tenten shivered- there was a pulse of something- but she was more focused on the open door. Mainly because two other women were standing in it, and one was glaring slightly. She pointed at the giant sword- although calling it a sword didn't do it justice. "That is the Decapitating Carving Knife! One of the Mists' Seven Blades! And he just gave it to me!"

The older woman chuckled as the shorter brunette with the apron just facepalmed.

"Of course he did." Murmured the brunette with the apron. "So, Naruto, adding others to the group?"

"Well, Haku pledged herself to me on the Wave mission, and Tenten has been anything but mean to me since we met..." Naruto trailed off a little as Hinata gave him a suspicious look.

The silence was deafening to Tenten, so she spoke after a minute or so.

"You are planning something, aren't you?" Tenten asked, seeing the facial twitches of the group as they directed their cumulative focus onto her. "Actually, since you mentioned a 'group', I want in."

That got the oldest Kunoichi's attention. "Wait, what?"

"Groups of non-team ninja are rare, and only appear in clans." Tenten stated. "Or as a group of missing-nin. However, they tend to share their Jutsu, and are marginally safer... Again, one of the reasons we use 4-man cells is to become a balanced team, and increase survival rate in the field. But! Groups are often indicative of other forms of relationships too, and I want to survive the Chuunin exams. So... If you are part of a group, can I be in it?"

Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose as Hinata smirked, then frowned, and he sighed as the Jounin burst out laughing. "Fine..." He grumbled. "But we have to get her out too."

Tenten froze. "Get her out... You want to leave the village?"

"Okay, too much info. Let's just wipe her memory and leave." The one with the apron said.

Tenten pulled out a pair of kunai as she dropped the giant sword. "Are you a Yamanaka?"

Naruto tried to face-Palm, but Hinata, acting on a surge of adrenalin, stopped him by kissing him gently, before standing up as his mind tried to reboot.

"Ayame-chan, Anko-chan- I think we should bring her in." Hinata stated as she brushed off herself. The forge had soot all over the place. "Blacksmithing is a trade that can be carried anywhere, and since Naruto can provide metals, we might even be able to amass a fortune selling to the other ninja villages." Hinata pointed out. "I mean, if we could act like traders, then the question of where we got high-quality weapons or items could be redirected to 'at another town somewhere'."

Ayame nodded slowly. "Fine... But Naruto-kun is right. We will need to get her out as well."

"When do we leave?" Everyone looked at Tenten. "What?"

"What about your father?" Naruto asked quietly.

Tenten blinked rapidly, then, voice barely cracking, responded. "He died five days ago. Just... Fell over at the counter. Medic-nin said it was a heart attack, but I know some of the other smiths were getting pissed off since they had to buy all their platinum and chakra metals from us- and even I know how to poison someone to look like they had a heart attack."

"You think someone- a ninja- killed your father?" Hinata was visible crying, and her Material High spheres were beginning to coalesce around her.

Naruto shifted around and began to rub her shoulders- only to be interrupted as the white-eyed girl grabbed him in a death grip. Seeing Ayame begin blinking rapidly, he summoned three shadow clones, who hugged Ayame, Anko, and Tenten.

The clone holding a now-crying Tenten gently wiped away her tears. "We will bring you along- but we need to bring you up to speed."

Tenten felt... Something... Something indescribable, envelop her, and she passed out.

* * *

There was an eight-day gap between the day Naruto (and team 7) returned and the day that the Chuunin exams would begin.

During that time, most of the genin teams spent it practicing with their Senseis', or with their families.

Naruto left a clone with his team, linked to him via a Trance Cable, and spent his time training the girls whenever he had a chance- and extracting the Jutsu memories of as many Jounin as he could.

Anko had taken an unholy glee in practicing the signature Jutsu of the other Jounins in the Forest of Death... Although her jubilance was slightly stifled by Naruto's inability to remove the cursed seal- or unwillingness to do so immediately. The damn thing fought back when he attempted to extract it, and that had unsettled him almost as much as Ankos' laugh when she saw Ayame cover her body in the chirp-screaming Thousand Birds Jutsu... And she fell over laughing when Hinata managed to do the same with the Lightning Blade Jutsu, although her version was more of a lightning bubble than blade.

Ayame was getting herself and the mind-controlled root agent ready to leave. Since her ramen stand would not be in the planned blast radii, she would be leaving the town using the excuse of 'I want to start my own ramen stand somewhere else'. The ninja forces didn't care about civilian movements for their food industries, as food supply was watched closely at the prep and serving levels. That said, she was able to practice more with her Burst and Rise, since she would 'ward' areas not to be paid attention to.

Hinata spent time with her sensei- and used said sensei for Trance practice. After a few days she was proficient enough to implant basic suggestions, one of which was force the sensei to promise, in front of Naruto and the girls, that she would remain with them permanently- with all the internal reenforcement needed to make it effectively permanent. Her justification for this was that Kurenai was somewhat insane already, as only an insane person would attempt to castrate a Jinchuuriki. After all, the bloodlines were rumored to have come from the wives of Jinchuuriki, and why deprive a village of valuable bloodlines?

That one got Naruto blushing like a spotlight- and the group was very thankful they were in one of the co-opted root bases, considering he flooded the now-constantly-held telepathic network between them with a mixture of embarrassment and affection. He locked it down quickly enough, but the disparity in emotion was noticed for the first time. Apparently, male 'affection' felt like 'lust' to the female Psychers, and vice-versa, creating a cycling feedback loop that caused Naruto to breifly disconnect before too much feedback was generated- but they still blushed any time they remembered the event.

Tenten, after she got over the initial sick period, only seemed to exhibit Rise tendancies. But, as Naruto went out of his way to assure her, this was not a bad thing. She was stronger, faster, and incredibly tough with her rise activated even slightly, and was exceptionally jubilant when she got back from team practice, rushing to inform Naruto and the rest that she finally managed to hit the same speeds that Might Gai's clone, Rock Lee, managed without his weights. She was also busily sealing up the stock in the shop into storage scrolls, which themselves were sealed into other scrolls, until there was only one sealing scroll to carry. Naruto sent a clone with that finalized scroll out of the village with a single teleportation jump, and buried at the rendezvous in a large rock.

Of course, the day of the first test, Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto (who had met at training ground 7), they ran straight into trouble.

* * *

There is a saying that the ninja of Konoha often quoted. _"It is not power that makes one dangerous, only intent."_

Of course, when you have a great deal of power, and the intent to use it without distinction on anyone you can get away with killing, it makes you incredibly dangerous.

Gaara of the Sand was incredibly dangerous, as were his brother and sister. All had killed scores of enemy combatants, and as such, had gained a fairly decent sense of how dangerous any one person was, but Gaara had always been able to feel it. Feel how dangerous a person was in comparison to himself- it was one of the advantages of being the Jinchuuriki of the One-Tailed Tanuki.

Now, though- he was terrified.

* * *

Carefully secluded under a Stillness barrier (telekineticly holding the air around them still), Naruto and Hinata were standing close to each other outside the facility where the first test was going to commence.

"Hinata-chan, do you want me to keep the Trance link held up between us?" Naruto asked carefully. "It's technically cheating, and-"

Hinata shook her head vigorously. "No! It's not cheating. We need to pass, and I don't want you to have to deal with the issues if we didn't pass through the exam."

"Um... We don't actually need to pass the exam Hinata-chan." Naruto gently reminded her as he sent out a trance pulse. "Our plan just cumulates at the end." He turned, and stared at the red-haired sand ninja watching him. "And here is one of the potential players now."

Quickly taking down the barrier, Naruto grinned and waved at the red-head. "Hi! What's up?"

The red-headed boy approached cautiously, little drifts of sand roiling around the entrance to the massive gourd on his back. He inclined his head very slightly, all without adopting any expression at all. "... Greetings. I am Gaara of the Sand..." He sniffed, and his eyes widened suddenly. "And holder of the First of Nine."

Naruto's grin took on a more angular edge. "Nice to meet you Gaara. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, holder of the Last of Nine." He held out a hand, which Gaara gently took, and shook once. "And this is Hinata No-Name, my girlfriend."

Hinata smiled gently. "N-Nice to meet you Gaara." Then her eyes widened, and looked at Naruro for a moment. _Girlfriend? Really?_ A surge of love flashed between Naruro and Hinata through the Trance web, and splashed on the others listening in.

Naruto gave her a mental hug. _I thought it was appropriate, considering you labeled me as 'yours' in front of Tenten._

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~! How? When? Why!"

Hinata narrowed her eyes as she heard the squee. She quickly found the source- an almost ecstatic-looking Ino Yamanaka. "Don't start Yamanaka-san." She growled.

"But-but-but-" Into protested, but shut up as a single glowing finger was suddenly half an inch from her eye.

"Don't. Talk." Hinata growled, as her annoyance at having her Naruto time interrupted bled into the bond. "In fact, keep this to yourself- unless you want everyone to know that you and Haruno-san have been seeing each other in the evenings for the last few days."

Ino's startled expression turned waxy. "How do you know about that?"

Naruto's predatory grin relaxed as he watched one of his girls intimidate a normal ninja- but then it snapped back as he saw the gentle drifts of sand floating in the air. Focusing, he telekinetically grabbed the sand floating around, and concentrated it in his palm. It resisted, but it couldn't resist the bending effects of a few dozen g's per particle. "Gaara, are these yours?"

Aqua eyes ringed with the deep sleep-deprived rings stared out at his own blue-with-black-sclera orbs.

When he spoke, Gaara sounded like he was grating out every syllable. "Yes. I will try to keep it in my gourd in the future."

Naruto closed his hand gently, hiding the suddenly-contained pulse of light and heat that came from compressing the small sphere of sand. "Just don't hurt Hinata, or a woman who is wearing pink with two buns in her hair, alright?" He opened his hand, and let the drop of liquid glass fall onto the cobbled street. "Now... If you want to fight me later..." He didn't grin, but Gaara took a step back slightly anyway as he felt something slide around his mind, tingling and echoing with amusement. "I'll gladly do so. Fair warning though- we outclass you a bit."

Gaara nodded, and bowed slightly again. "We will look forward to it. Come Kankuro, Temari."

The three sand siblings walked into the building.

Naruto turned back to Hinata, who was whispering things into Ino's ear. "... We should probably go join our teams again."

The white-eyed genin grinned widely, then skipped over, kissed him on the cheek. "Yes... Yes we should."

Naruto offered her his arm, and they strode confidently into the testing building. _So, what did you say to Ino?_

Hinata blushed and tapped her fingers together. _Just... A little suggestion._

* * *

The horde of genin waiting in the second floor were gathered around a door with the numbers '301' above it. The genin appeared to be trying to get in, but there were two ninja with ill-fitting Transformation Jutsu active- and, of course, all the other doors on this floor were labeled in the 200's except the one these two were standing in front of.

Naruro snorted as Sakura raised an eyebrow- then quickly had to grab Sasuke before he made a fool of himself trying to intimidate the obvious Chuunin in front of the trap.

Naruto blurred, and placed a kunai just up Sasuke's left nostril. Carefully, he whispered to the enraged genin. "Sasuke-teme, don't make a scene. The room's upstairs, remember?"

Sasuke relaxed, glaring at Naruto and Sakura as they released him, and, in a huff of bruised ego, stalked up the stairs.

Team Seven paused as the 'THUD' of someone getting punched in the face was heard. A somewhat ripped Konoha genin wearing a green jumpsuit and a bowl cut was on the floor, rubbing his cheek.

"Is someone as talented as you trying to take the Chuunin exam?" One of the door guards laughed dismissively. "Why bother?"

"Heh..." Smirked the other guard. "Bunch of wet-behind-the-ears snotnoses."

Tenten took a shaky step forward, and said, somewhat pitifully, "Please let us in?"

One of the guards backhanded her.

 _Hey, Tenten-chan- what are you doing?_ Naruto pinged through the Web.

 _Our team leader's plan- look weak initially, so we are underestimated._ Tenten's mental voice wavered as she replied, pulling herself slowly off the floor. She still wasn't used to the mental network.

 _Not a bad plan..._ Anko mused. _However, you will find that most of these genin are self-promoting more than their ability would permit, so nearly everyone is underestimating everyone else._

Hinata twitched, then giggled under her breath as her team passed, quietly, along one of the back walls. _It seems we are not the only ones who are working to appear less than they are._

That got a round of chuckles in the bond.

"... That's just cruel..." One of the nameless genin in the crowd muttered, just loud enough to be heard by one of the guards.

"What?" The spikier-haired of the guards glanced in the direction of the mutter. "What did you say? 'That's just cruel?' You misunderstand- we are trying to spare you! The Chuunin exam is very difficult. Hell-" he tapped the other guard in his chest-plate. "-we've failed three times now." He leaned forward, as if discussing a secret with the audience of rapt genin. "There were some who made it- then gave up on being a ninja, while others were crippled for life... And then the even worse fates- becoming vegetables."

Naruto rolled his eyes, and ordered one of his nearby clones to use the Transformation Jutsu, change into another genin, then enter the room and say something pithy.

"Can I become a tomato?"

The entire room turned in amazement to look at the ice-breaking genin.

"Wait, what?" The disguised Chuunin was confused.

"Well you said that they could become vegetables, and I always wanted to be a tomato. Never really knew why." The tactless genin continued.

Hinata stifled a laugh as the rest of the room looked on in incredulity.

Naruto grinned. _See you upstairs, ladies._ And with that, he pushed Team 7 up the stairs.

* * *

"It's rather quiet up here." Sakura observed, eyeing the empty hallway- right up until the moment where Sasuke grabbed her by the back of the neck and slammed her into the wood flooring face-first.

"Why..." Sasuke hissed, fingers tightening. "Did you do that? I was going to humiliate them! Show them what it means to be an Uchiha, and how pathetic they all are!"

"You should let her go Teme." Naruto observed, stepping into kicking range. "We are supposed to be a team, remember?"

"Make me Dobe!" Sasuke replied.

"Fine." Naruto groaned, then swiftly took a step up behind Sasuke and kicked him hard enough to knock him off of Sakura. Right in the crotch.

The duck-haired genin made a squeaking noise as he flopped heels over head and landed on his back, where Sakura scurried away from him, hiding behind Naruto.

The blond genin put down his foot. "You all right Haruno?" He asked with some not inconsiderable concern.

The pink-haired genin shivered for a few seconds, then nodded. "I'm f-fine Naruto-kun."

 _'Naruto-kun'?!_

Everyone in the web flinched at Hinata's outraged exclamation.

"Good!" Naruto was all smiles again. "Now, come on. We have a test to get to." With only a slight puff of smoke, two shadow clones appeared, and picked up the now slightly-foaming-at-the-mouth Uchiha, and carried him down the hall.

On a balcony-ledge above them, a ripped genin wearing a green jumpsuit and a bowl cut blinked a few times.

"What just happened?" Rock Lee muttered to himself.

* * *

No sooner had the door closed behind Team Seven that both Naruto and Sakura encountered their own sort of impact.

Specifically, female missiles.

Ino, to catcalls and a not inconsiderable number of leers, grabbed Sakura on the run and kissed her in full view of the dozens of Chuunin contestants. Sakura only put up a token protest before she effectively melted into her kissers' arms.

Naruto caught Hinata, released a wave of Trance fibers, which immediately began broadcasting a 'not interesting' field around the two. Once that was in place and secured, having handed off he focus to one of his clones, Naruto kissed a blushing Hinata as passionately as he could, listening to her impressions in the trance web to see how to make this more pleasant.

 _Hinata-chan, stop flooding the web with your impressions!_ Amaye projected. _I can't focus on packing if you are having that much fun._

Naruto and Hinata reluctantly parted, and he unwove the Trance barrier.

"Looks like the gang's all he-" the somewhat feral-looking genin sniffed, then growled. "What are you doing with my Hinata!"

"I am not yours Inuzuka-san." Hinata calmly stated as she cuddled Naruto's arm.

Naruto nodded at the genin next to the Inuzuka. "Hey Shino-san. How're you doing?"

Shino tilted his head slightly. "I am well. My hive is interested in seeing how these genin compare."

The blond jinchuuriki smirked. "It does promise to be interesting."

There was another wave of cat-calls and whistles as Ino Yamanaka stopped attempting to orally extract Sakura's tonsils. They whispered together for a moment, before turning to the grinning genin crowd- both sporting glowing blushes.

Ino was grinning under her blush, and helped the slightly shaking Sakura take a bow. "Thank you, thank you- we'll be here all week! Don't forget to tip your waitresses!"

That got some groans, but mostly laughter from the assembled genin, who went back to what they were doing before Team Seven entered.

One of Ino's teammates, the somewhat tired-looking Shikamaru, yawned. "Troublesome..."

The fatter teammate, Choji, blinked, looked at Shikamaru, then at the giggling girls, then back at Shikamaru. He shrugged, and went back to eating his chips.

"Don't ignore me-" it was at this point that Kiba Inuzuka noticed the condition that Sasuke Uchiha was in. He jabbed his thumb in the genin's general direction. "What happened to him?"

"I kicked him in the balls." Naruto calmly stated. "Felt my technique was off though."

Slitted brown eyes stared into calm blue surrounded slightly twisting black sclera. Kiba leaned back slightly, the puppy on his head flattening it's ears back. "Alright then..." He looked between Naruto and Hinata, and took a small step back.

The two shadow clones dispelled with small 'puff' noises, as a taller genin approached.

"You three gangs of would-be hotshots are all genin, right? Kids barely out of the ninja academy?" A tall white-haired genin remarked. "All wet behind the ears and runny-nosed." He pushed his glasses up his face with his middle finger. "This isn't a school field trip you know."

Naruto sent a small trance probe into the taller genin, and blinked. Then grinned. "Kabuto! How have you been?"

Kabuto blinked. "I'm sorry, I don't remember you..."

The blond's grin took on a sinister edge. "Remember a few years ago? About 2 years or so? You kicked a scrawny kid who was trying to find food in a local dumpster? A small blond? Your friends laughed because he went face-first into a brick wall?" His grin resembled a snarl now. "I certainly remember you- and how your friends congratulated you on your range."

The other three rookie teams from Konoha had gone silent as Naruto talked.

"I noticed they are not here today." His snarl relaxed. "Anyway, you were going to give us some info, right? I mean-" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "- you did just announce to the whole room our relative inexperience. Surely you can see the benefits of giving us an advantage- us being from the same village after all."

"Right..." Kabuto said, slightly shaken, then shrugged. "I was going to give you information I gathered from the last seven times I took this exam, but I'll just give you this tip instead: Oto, the village hidden in the sound, is part of a new (and rather small) nation. Bit of a backwater really, and even they outclass you."

This failed to remove the grins from Naruto or Hinata, or the smirk from a listening Tenten.

"Suna, Ame, Kusa, even Taki sent their best teams to this Chuunin exam." Kabuto grinned. "You don't even measure up." He turned away, and began walking to his seat. "Drop out before you get hurt."

Naruto turned to the rather concerned-looking rookie genin. "I'm excited- are you excited?"

Tenten started as she felt a sudden surge of aggression from outside the web. _Did anyone feel that?_

Hinata blinked, her Doujustu flaring momentarily. _Yes. Ninja with music-notes on their headbands are moving at speed._

Naruto nuzzled her as he pinged the web. _Intercept?_

 _Kabuto._

The Kyuubi jinchuuriki frowned. _Why? He's one of them._

Anko's shock was like a tangible wave as it rippled through the Trance Web. _He's an infiltrator? Damn, our counter-intelligence forces have been letting screening slide if a genin is a successful infiltrator._

The Oto genin jumped over the rookie genin teams, throwing two kunai at Kabuto's feet as the Oto's teammate flanked him.

His bandaged face was within less than a foot of Kabuto's when the Oto genin swung, his metal-gauntlet humming as it just missed the glasses-wearing ninja.

Kabuto's glasses shattered as he fell to a knee, then, as he took them off, he began vomiting.

Hinata, having been watching out of the corner of her eye, blinked. _How... Oh. Hidden in the Sound._

Naruto dove into Sound Genin's minds, briefly extracting as much information as he could before his probe would cause some odd behavior. He packaged the information, and passed it into the web. _All clones, peel this apart. I want to know everything about their village._

 _Planning on adding their village as a stop on our trip?_ Ayame asked as she took a copy of some of the collected memories.

Anko did the same, and sent the impression of surprise through the bond before she swamped it with murderous rage. _Orochimaru is leading the Sound Village! And he is SOMEWHERE IN THAT ROOM!_

Naruto rubbed Hinata's shoulder as he sent feelings of peace and calm into the network. _We will deal with him, don't worry. I need to get the memories of how he placed the cursed seal first, and I don't know a way to identify him unless I and Ayame mind-dive into every single person here. Patience- we will deal with him._

That calmed her down enough for the bleed over to lock behind Anko's mental defenses.

* * *

In the Proctor Prep Room, Kakashi looked slightly concerned as Anko looked murderous for a fraction of a second, then stilled. "Anko-chan, is anything wrong?"

"Just... Old memories." Anko sighed, before pointing at one of the screens, which was filling with static. "We need to order some more screen-summoning scrolls from the Toad Sage."

Ibiki, the jounin proctor for the first test, rolled his eyes. "Well, I'd say that's my cue. Anko, since you brought it up, you do the paperwork."

Anko swore.

* * *

Hinata, who was also perusing the collected information from the sound genin, grinned. _Hey! The female Sound Genin is a Tsuchi!_

Naruto raised an eyebrow. _Is this important?_

Her grin turned feral. _The Tsuchi's are one of the 'Pride of Iwa' clans, specializing in Genjutsu, seduction, and turning ninja. If she left the Tsuchi, wouldn't her acquisition be useful- after all, her clan was famous for several reasons._

 _Are you trying to build a harem, Hinata-chan?_ Anko asked.

Hinata's blush flared. _Um..._ They all got the mental impression of her poking her fingers together. _Maybe..._

 _You know..._ Naruto bent down slightly to look into her eyes, inciting an even brighter blush. _You never did tell me exactly what you whispered to Ino._

"Stand down genin!" An authoritative voice roared as the front of the classrom-style chamber filled with white smoke.

A full fifteen Chuunin stood, at parade rest, behind a scar-faced man wearing a black bandana, black trench coat, and black gloves. "Sorry to have kept you waiting." It was at this point that the genin collectively noticed the button-up lab coat under the overcoat- and it's flecks of glistening red blood. "I am the Konoha Jounin Ibiki Morino... And I'm also the Proctor and Chief Examiner for the first part of this Chuunin exam."

He pointed at the sound ninja menacing Kabuto.

"You- Oto genin! You cannot carry on any way you please when the exam's about to start..." He smirked. "Unless, of course, you want to be disqualified?"

The genin with the bandaged face, metal arm, and furry coat-like thing turned to face the Jounin. "Sorry sir... It's our first exam, and we got a little carried away."

Ibiki glowered. "Is that so?..." He put his hands in the coat's pockets. "Then it's high time someone laid down some ground rules." His gaze swept the room as everyone remained silent. "From this point forward, there will be no more fighting without the express permission of the examining officer. And even if that permission is granted, anything that endangers another applicant's life is strictly forbidden." His voice dropped in register and seemed to reverberate off the stone tables. "Any of you little piglets who break that rule are out. Disqualified. No second chances. |Got That?|"

One of the sound genin smirked. "So this is a test for little girly men?"

A sneer makes a distinctive sound if one is listening... Or if fifteen Chuunin sneer at the same time.

Ibiki smirked. "If you wish. The first part of the selection exams will commence shortly. Turn in your applications, take one of the seating arrangement cards-" He held up a small card with the number '1' on it. "-and report directly to the seat indicated. When everyone's seated, we'll pass out the written part of the test."

Once everyone had been seated, and their test papers on the table in front of the them, Ibiki blurred, and, now holding a piece of chalk, tapped on the blackboard. "Papers down until I give the signal."

Naruto reached through the web-bond to provide a hug of comfort to Hinata, who was getting a bit nervous despite everything. _What's wrong?_

Hinata sighed. _Just normal nerves I guess..._

"Now listen up! The are a few big rules that pertain to this test. I'll write them on the blackboard and explain them all, but I'm not taking questions, so listen carefully." Ibiki glared. "I will only say this once."

Anko chuckled in the bond. _Here we go..._

"Rule number one: each one of you starts with ten points. The test has ten questions, each worth one point. For each question you get wrong, we subtract a point from you. Get aall ten right, and you retain the ten points you have. But, if, for example, you answer three questions incorrectly, we will take your ten points, and subtract three from it, bringing your total down to seven points.

"Rule number two: this written test is still a team event. Therefore, passing or failing will be determined by the sum of the teams' point total. The object is for each team to have as few deductions as possible from its joint thirty-point total.

"Rule number three: if, during the course of the exam, a candidate does anything out of the ordinary... Or, in other words, anything that leads the proctors to determine that he or she has cheated..." Ibiki smirked. "We will subtract two points from each member of the cheater's team." He glanced around the room. "I see some of you understand. In all probability, some of you will run through your entire allowance of points during the test- if so, you'll be failed and escorted out."

One of the Chunin along the back of the room grinned. "We'll be looking over your shoulders when you least expect it."

"If you let the proctors catch you cheating, you'll bring yourself and your friends down!" Ibiki was still smirking. "If you aspire to become Chuunin... If you want to be the best shinobi you can be... Then you'd better start acting like you already are!" He looked thoughtful for a second. "Oh, and before I forget, if any individual loses all ten of his or her points, that person's entire cell, regardless of how the other two members do... Will be disqualified."

Sakura glanced where Naruto was sitting- and noticed an absolute lack of concern. She shrugged. 'Oh well- I'll just answer these. Good thing the questions are so easy.'

 _So..._ Naruto stretched as he spoke into the web. _How should I do this?_

Everyone could feel Tenten's shock. _Are you going to take this seriously!?_

 _Not even a little._ The blonde confessed. _Obvious, subtle, or unnoticeable?_

Anko grinned in the Jounin booth. _Obvious. I want to see what you come up with._

Ibiki's smirk vanished. "You have one hour... Starting... Now!"

Hinata flared her Byakugan for a fraction of a second, doing a head-count. _There are 51 teams in this room, right?_

 _I counted 51 teams when we entered._ Naruto confirmed. _How many 'testees' are there?_

 _There are 160 test papers, and every single one is occupied._ Hinata supplied.

Tenten blinked. _7 Plants?_

 _Makes sense. I'll go for obvious cheating._ Naruto slipped one hand below the table, and concentrated. The wind in the room picked up slightly, as he began compressing light, heat, and air into a marble-sized slightly-glowing sphere. _Let me know when you are ready for me to do my thing._

Hinata, sitting two seats behind him, smiled as her Byakugan saw the concentration of power within his hand. _I'm good Naruto. Already done. The plants are done by now._

Tenten twitched the mirror she was manipulating with a fine ninja wire. _Give me a few minutes._

Naruto locked his mental muscles around the tiny construct, which compressed even further and stopped glowing, turning black as it kept absorbing light and air. _Fine._

One of the sand-nin, Kankuro, stood up and raised his hand. "Excuse me?"

A proctor turned to face him. "What is it?"

"I've got to go to the bathroom." Kankuro states sheepishly.

The proctor rolled his eyes, and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "Of course. One of the proctors will accompany you."

He shrugged. "Why not?"

The genin and proctor left the room.

Tenten checked her mirror- Rock Lee was done. _Right, Naruto- your turn._

Naruto grabbed a tiny sphere of space in the front-middle of the room, the space around his construct, and exchanged them. With barely a flicker, there was now a tiny sphere floating above Ibiki's head. It began to grow and pulse with light at intervals. _Girls, hands over your ears. This is going to get loud- and bright._

One of the proctors noticed it first. "Um... Ibiki-san?"

No-one could deny that Ibiki was a professional ninja. He had barely glanced at the proctor before he jumped away- an action which attracted the attention of effectively everyone in his general direction.

One person barely had time to say "What the-" before the sphere detonated, filling the room with a bright flash, a massive bang, and blinding effectively everyone.

Naruto, having closed his eyes and covered his ears at the moment of detonation, reached over to the nearest plant and quickly switched out his paper with theirs. A second or so of erasing their name and replacing it with his, he then mimicked the other genin who were trying to see.

After a minute or so, Ibiki faced the testing group. "Right... Now that rather clever stunt is over, it's time for the tenth question."

Everyone in the room paid attention to him then.

"But before we get to the question itself, I'm adding one more new rule..." Ibiki turned to the door as it opened, and Kankuro walked back in, still handcuffed. "Heh... Looks like you're in luck." He smirked. "The time you've spent playing with dolls hasn't been completely wasted.. But don't worry about it. Sit down."

Ibiki turned so that he was facing one of the Windows along the north side of the room.

"Now, let me explain... This rule is absolute. First you must choose whether or not to accept or reject the question." He held up a hand as Temari, the sand kunoichi, stood up. "No questions. If you reject the question and don't even try to answer it, you'll lose all your points, and fail. And, of course, your whole team is penalized too."

Various responses on the theme of "Say what?!" And "Then why would we choose to reject it?"

"This is important, newbies... Because of the other half of this rule." He wasn't grinning anymore. "If you try to answer the question, and you get it wrong, you will never be permitted to apply for the Chuunin exams ever again."

Kiba rose, about to yell some objection, before Hinata beaned him in the back of the head with a pencil stub. "Ow!" He spun around, to see her emphatically gesturing to sit down. He slowly sat down, to Ibiki's amusement.

"I know some of you-" Ibiki pointedly looked at Kiba, "-may want to protest this rule." His gaze swept over the genin. "But I am making the rules this time... And now, you have a way out, in case you don't want to risk it."

That got some confused looks.

"Anyone who has doubts would be smart to reject the tenth question- better to be a genin for another year than a genin forever." His smirk managed to unnerve a few teams, who were muttering under their breath. "Those who choose to reject should raise their hands. Once their number has been conferred, they will leave the room."

Once the first team left, it caused a cascade. Younger and younger-looking teams left, unnerved by the main sequence until there were only 20 teams left- and the plants of course.

Once the last team had left, Ibiki turned away from the genin. "I assume all who are left are willing to take the risk?"

The Chuunin proctors as one, stood up and locked the doors.

Dead silence reigned for a few seconds.

"In that case... Everyone in this room..." He whirled around, all his teeth showing. "Has just passed the first exam!"

"What do you mean, 'Passed'?" Sakura asked. "When did that happen? What about the tenth question?"

"You're ninja." Ibiki deadpanned. "Figure it out." His eyes flicked down as a shadow passed in front of one of the windows, and he dove to the side as a black-wrapped spinning ninja.

As all the genin in the room readied weapons (or reacted by screaming "WHA-?" and similar), the bundle unfurled, two kunai shooting out and pinning the corners of the blanket to the ceiling in such a way that it popped the ninja within into the air.

Anko spun around as she regained her footing, and posed in front of the banner. The banner which stated in large, bold letters, 'INTRODUCING THE ALL-SEEING AND POWERFUL SECOND EXAM EXAMINER - JOUNIN ANKO!'. "I am the second chief examination officer, Anko Mitarashi! Time's a-wastin' people, let's go!"

When no-one moved, she glared at them. "Well? Come on maggots!" And jumped back out the hole. "To the Forest of Death!"

Naruto grinned, and leapt over his desk. "Come on guys! We're going to be flies when we grow up!"

* * *

Yakumo Kurama sat in her bed, far from Konoha in her mansion, and painted quietly. She was one of Konohas numerous 'failed genin', although her case was rather unique.

She started abruptly when a person cleared their throat behind her.

"You paint very well... Although your material seems rather violent."

Yakumo turned around quietly and saw... A blond boy wearing a Konoha headband floating in midair. Well, more specifically he looked like he was laying on an invisible table, but slightly bobbing in the air.

"Are you a ghost?" She asked quietly.

The boy blinked. "No... No I am not."

"Oh..." Somehow, she sounded depressed by the answer, but quickly retained her decorum. "I am Yakumo Kurama, heir to the Kurama clan. Ex-genin." She held out a hand.

The boy drifted forward, and gave her a hug. "I'm Naruto. Nice to meet you."

She stiffened, then shuddered as she felt a human touch for the first time in two years. Silently, she began to cry.

"It's okay..." Naruto gently held her as she kept crying. "It's okay..."

* * *

 **End Chapter 16**

* * *

Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter! Please review if you can- it really helps.


	17. Chapter 17- The Second Test

(A/N-start)

I wish this chapter had been done sooner, but I had trouble with some of the dialogue.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

I don't own Naruto, Psyren, or any other source material. If I did, I wouldn't be spending my time looking for the relatives of the man who created the Starlite compound.

(A/N-end)

* * *

"If the name of a place is expressly telling you that it is going to kill you in some way... Run." - wise words from a guide who made sure people were well aware of 'The Valley With Piranha at the Bottom' near 'Screaming Death Gorge'... And exactly how far away to stay from the place.

* * *

 **Chapter 17: The Second Test**

* * *

The Forest of Death is not named frivolously. According to records, the name was chosen as the 'friendly' alternative to the other entries. 'Death by Forest', 'The Forest of Certainly Gruesome Death', 'Holy Fuck I'm not going in there again', 'The Preserve of Terror', and 'Agonizing Death Woods' were all thrown out as being too obvious.

Especially because ninja were aware of ninja like Yan-Tsu the Destroyer of Anuses, Pain (Amekagure's Kage), and the odd ronin known only as 'Who are yoAAAARGEBLURGLE...', names have some significant meaning.

But there is a flip side to this. Some ninja (especially the really good ones) gave their moves very relaxing and calm sounding names. The destruction wrought by moves called 'the Light Drizzle', 'Gentle Breeze', and 'Lapping Waves' were legendary. 'Cherry Blossom Ripple' was the last phrase several villages heard during the most recent shinobi war, and word spread about all those sorts of moves. Places and items followed this pattern too: the Jade Teapot was an infamous assassins weapon, known for facilitating the killing of two hundred ninja in ten seconds, and of course, the 'Relaxation Palace', a castle where, according legend, you either spent only a day in it or there would be nothing left of your body.

As such, the crowd of genin were a bit cautious.

"Behind this fence," Anko dramatically introduced, "are some of the deadliest creatures in the world!"

A Grass genin snorted under his breath- only to freeze as he felt his hat get taken off. He whirled around, and came face-to-face with Anko.

Anko patted the genin's head. "You know, someone always thinks this is funny." She was suddenly holding several kunai- somewhat wavy in design, and not from Konoha. "And some little brat like you thinks you can just ignore the forest." She grinned. "Thing is, I live in there whenever I am not on a mission."

Anko leaned really close to the genin, and, with a speed that even Lee found impressive, she grabbed the tongue that emerged from the genin's mouth, and was reaching towards the kunai.

"Bad Kaeru-chan!" Anko said as the genin wriggled the appendage in her iron grip. "Girls shouldn't use their tongue to grab things in public." She looked thoughtful. "In private... That's a different matter."

Sakura started and turned to Naruto. "Did she just call the genin-"

"A frog? Yes." Naruto grinned as he watched Anko's antics and felt them through the Trance Link. "She's weird- but fun."

"Wait a minute..." Sakura looked between Anko and Naruto. "Is she the woman that Kakashi-sensei is letting you train with?"

He nodded.

Anko released the genin's tongue, which retracted very, very quickly. Then, as if nothing had happened, she blurred, and reappeared back in her original spot. "Now, this test is simple." Her hands blurred again, and now she was holding two scrolls. "Each team will be provided an earth or heaven scroll. Only one per team. Your goal will be to get to the center of the Forest, with TWO scrolls (one heaven and one earth), within Five days."

"Five days? What will we do for food!" Choji exclaimed.

The sexy jounin tapped her chin. "Well, you could eat other teams since this is going to be a lethal survival test..." She grinned at the various expressions that passed the faces of the genin. "After all, the forest is full of nature's bounty." She turned to look at the forest. "Of course, they're also full of many-eating animals, deadly insects, poisonous plants, and enemy genin- but that's not my problem."

She proffered a stack of leaflets.

"To keep this village secure among our alliances, you will need to sign these waivers." Anko flicked her wrist, and the paper spiraled out in a pattern where one floated down in front of each genin. "And, while you are signing, I will talk about what rules there could possibly be for this test-"

Anko held up a finger.

"First- you are disqualified if you reach the tower without both scrolls, after the time limit, or missing a member." She held up a second finger. "You cannot leave the forest during this test, and last-" she held up a third finger "-you are forbidden to look at the contents of the scrolls until you are within the tower."

"What happens if we look?" Asked Ino.

Anko's grin took on a more subtle cast. "That's for those who look to know! 3"

"Sounds troublesome-" Shikamaru began, right before the forest erupted into squeals and the sounds of clashing animals. Once it stopped, he rubbed his temples. "No, THAT sounds troublesome."

You couldn't take off Anko's smile with a crowbar. "Yup! Now, three waivers for one scroll, over by the conveniently placed hut. Chop-chop."

Twenty minutes later (with one disqualified team for trying to duplicate the forms and get an extra scroll), Anko was informed that all the scrolls had been collected.

"Good news maggots!" She spun around dramatically. "There are now twenty-two teams, and eleven scroll pairs. Now, to mix things up!"

Twenty-two proctors appeared, each in front of a team.

"Follow your proctor to the designated gate, and, after they give you a simple map, you will then be permitted to enter the forest." Anko made a blur of handsigns, and a massive snake appeared in a puff of smoke. She jumped onto its head, and bowed to the crowd of genin. "Welcome to the second test! The bell wing ring in half an hour. At that point, you better be in the forest, or going home."

When no-one moved, she scowled. "What are you waiting for? GET MOVING!" Her voice rippled across the clearing, and when the echoes died away, the genin were gone.

* * *

Half an hour later, as indicated, the bell rang. Genin teams from all four major gates began running towards the center, each following their own strategy.

Hinata and her team set a trap, quickly catching one of the Konoha teams in a trap. Naruto felt her satisfaction and slight disgust as the trap fell, and heard the scream of pain as they were immobilized and taken out fairly quickly.

Sasuke demonstrated his tactical forethought. "I think we should split up."

Naruto actually fell over from laughing so hard. "Split up! Hahahahaha!"

Sakura was about to scream at Naruto, but then shrugged. "That is not a good idea."

"Hahahaha!"

"If we split up, we can take out multiple teams-" Sasuke began, before Naruto was holding the Uchiha upside down by a leg.

"No." The Uzumaki looked around, then tossed the Uchiha onto his feet. "We are being watched."

Sakura and Sasuke both pulled out kunai and were in combat stances inside a second.

Naruto didn't bother. "I know you are there!" He called. "Come out, come out, whoever you are!"

No-one came out.

"Fine." Naruto pulsed a tiny amount of chakra into his pocket, pulling out a couple of old and rusty kunai. "Fine. Be that way." He tossed the kunai into the air, made the plus-like handsign, and with a poof of smoke two shadow clones appeared. The three Naruto each grabbed a falling kunai, and aimed them at all three ninja watching. In chorus, they spoke a technique name. "Uzumaki Secret Art: Thundebolt Iron."

The kunai vanished with thunderous cracks, and three rain-nin fell out of various hiding places, each with a smoking hole dead-center in their chests.

Sasuke, who had been watching with activated Sharingan, swore. _That asshole! Why does he have to use Jutsu I can't copy?!_

Naruto smirked slightly, glad the slightly upturned collar hid his expression- he had heard every thought that just passed through Sasuke's head. His clones, in turn, quickly and efficiently looted the bodies.

"Here you go boss." The clones handed over their bounty- one heaven scroll (same as theirs), several kunai with a strange coating, a few scrolls with seals on them (for later reading and dissection), three rain headbands, and three high-volume breath masks.

Naruto tied the three headbands around his left arm, sealed the other items into his coat, and turned to his dumbstruck teammates as the clones vanished. "What?"

* * *

One of the more useful effects that linking shadow clones to himself caused was the ability to transfer chakra to them. This, on top of the hive-mind-like structure that formed when they all linked, allowed the clones to collect information in a way that any spymaster would be proud of.

Two clones became twenty, all linked, and jumped off the branch, dashing deeper into the forest.

They quickly took up positions around the forest, and hid- spreading their spheres of awareness as wide as possible to gain a mental map of the test. A few seconds of mentally counting up the ninja gave a quick assessment of how the test was going.

22 teams entered the test. Just by judging how their minds were broadcasting, 18 teams were still in the running- and one heavy signature, which, according to the Trance-sense, was very animalistic.

Oh, wait- 17 teams. That one from the grass village was just ambushed by a pack of cave bears.

That was odd.

The closest clone blinked, and focused in on the area. The surviving member of that team was desperately trying to escape the bear- not moving much better than a civilian in terms of speed, but it was her mind that was was forming the structures that several of them could recognize as very basic Trance sensory patterns- incomplete ones, but they were there.

The original Naruto, having managed to stay with his team until nightfall watched his teammates until they blinked, and teleported, switching out with a clone that had been approaching the genin kunoichi that was fending off several bears.

* * *

Karin Uzumaki (although no-one knew her last name), was panicking a bit, but, as a kunoichi, she was prepared for most things.

Just not a sloth of bears.

"Why are they even called a 'sloth' of bears?" She screamed, wildly waving her kunai around herself in an attempt to get the man-eating animals to back away as she tried to focus enough chakra to activate a Jutsu.

"Technically, the cave bears in this forest are called a 'pack'." A cheerful voice above her said. Then, as if it required some thought. "Would you like me to get rid of the bears?"

"Yes!" She screamed as a paw managed to snag her leg, drawing blood. "Before they eat me!"

"'Kay. Uzumaki secret art: Chain Rain."

Several chains sliced out of the dense canopy above her, impaling the bears in waves. The first ones stabbed the bears closest to her, while others landed farther out later, scaring off several of the predators.

Karin gaped as she watched her savior lower himself out of the canopy, holding himself up by the slightly-glowing chains that emerged from his back. Once he touched the ground, the chains dissolved into steam, and he made a cross-shaped handsign.

Dozens of clones appeared around him. Holding his hand over a part of his trenchcoat, he summoned a scroll with a puff of smoke, then tossed it to a clone. Said clones quickly began to seal the dead bears away- often killing one of them if they were unable to move.

She focused, and activated her parents' secret Jutsu: the Mind's Eye of the Kagura. If he was an Uzumaki, she should be able to tell- they usually had lots of chakra, or very centralized chakra (like she had, in her head).

After half a second, she had to shut off the Jutsu. His chakra reserves were massive, dwarfing even Orochimaru's, and it felt... Odd. She visibly twitched as she thought that, and reactivated the Jutsu. It felt otherworldly, but warm- she actually felt herself heating up as she felt the power standing there, basking in the warmth of it. Like a sunny day and a roaring fire all in one, but pouring through an around her like-

"Hey- are you all right?"

Karin's eyes shot open, and she flinched away. "Um... Yes?"

"Great." The genin's smile disappeared. "How are you related to Orochimaru?"

She felt like she had been poleaxed. "Wait, what?"

"You recently thought about Orochimaru. I heard." He tapped her forehead with a finger. "A friend of mine really wants to insert a fairly large tsubo (war club) sideways into his rectum, and then shove a few kunai into his brain. Should I give you to her?"

Karin began to back away. "Thanks for saving me, but-" A chakra chain gripped her arm.

"Look..." He stared at her for a moment, and she felt a tickling in her mind. "Karin Uzumaki?" He sighed. "I won't hurt you- you're family. But I do want to know how you are related to Orochimaru, and what he is like."

"What did you do to me?" Her face was ashen, and even though she still had her Kagua up, she couldn't feel whatever Jutsu he had just used- although his presence still washed over and surrounded her.

Naruto rolled his eyes, and sent a ping through the Trance web of all that had transpired so far. After a few moments of dialogue, he turned his attention back to Karin. "Karin, I can... Hear, I guess, some thoughts of people around me. Now, what do you want?"

Karin went from ashen to poleaxed inside a second, then suspicious. "Why do you care?"

"Because you are family." He pointed at his stomach, and a seal lit up, unrolling across his abs. "According to the Kyuubi anyway." The seal disappeared, and he looked up to see Karin drilling slightly. "... Yeah. So what do you want? I can get you as far as Wave if you want to run."

That was incongruous enough to snap her out of the mildly erotic daydreams that popped up due to him directing her attention at his abs. "Ok... How would you get me from here to Wave?"

Naruto dispelled his chakra chain, then grabbed her around the waist. "Like this."

The world around them twisted, and snapped from the dark forest that they had been in to a misty beach in a fraction of a second.

She stumbled as he set her down, and grasped at the sand as she fell over. "How-"

He held up a hand. "I cannot tell you that, unless you want to help me and my... Harem? Really?" Naruto looked at the sky. "We are going to talk about this later Hinata."

Back in the Forest of Death, Hinata giggled and blushed as her team followed the river at a leisurely pace. _Yes... We will._ She gleefully transmitted into the link.

Anko, who was currently enjoying her lunch of Dango and Sake, grinned as she threw a cleaned skewer at one of the larger insects that infested the forest. _I'll bring source material!_

Back at the Ramen Stand, Ayame had just finished saying goodbye to her father, and had begun walking towards one of the gates. _I didn't agree to joining any sort of harem._

 _Who else could you stand to be around?_ Anko's smug expression translated into a feeling-tone through the Trance. _Naruto doesn't shield his mind from you or us, and yet you like to spend time around him- not to mention how he likes to transmit his emotions through this link._

Ayame blushed furiously. _Well... I will admit I like that bit._

 _I call dibs on his First!_ Hinata added, even more blood dripping down her nose as she flooded the link with images, intentions, and information about all the ways she could come up with to make their time as a harem more enjoyable.

Anko, Ayame, Kurenai (who was being actively held in the link under Hinata's thrall), Tenten, and the unnamed Root agent all experienced the flood of erotic thoughts, mostly developing nosebleeds... Although Tenten fell off the branch she was landing on, and had to slide down a tree in order to get her balance back.

Naruto, who was somewhat calmed by the fact that his mind was functioning as a hive-mind right now, managed not to develop a nosebleed... Although all of him, clones included, blushed.

 _Well, I for one don't mind being part of a harem. Better than most Kunoichi get- and he can call up metals from the earth- and refine them!_ Tenten supplied as she rejoined her teammates, having staunched her nosebleed. _No matter where we go, we won't have a problem with money._

 _Ladies, do you mind if I include Karin Uzumaki in our group then?_ Naruto asked, as Karin stammered.

A chorus of 'No's echoed through the link, but Hinata did add something.

 _Naruto, can we bring Kurenai into the group?_ She asked. _I... Even after what she did to you, she still was nice to me when few others were... And she deserves a chance to make up for what she did to you._

 _Alright. We'll bring her in after the second test._ He transmitted. _It's depressing to hold a thrall for too long anyway. Ayame, let me know when you are in position to hide Karin- I'll send her to you soon._

 _I will... Master._ Ayame replied, then got on with her walking, waving to the Konoha gate guards as she rounded a corner in the path.

Naruto turned his attention back to Karin, who blushed. "Sorry about that. Talking with the group. Where were we?"

"You were inviting me to join your harem..." Karin muttered.

Naruto grinned, and created another shadow clone. "Yes, we-" he stopped smiling. "Crap. I need to go deal with Orochimaru. Ask the clone anything."

"Wait, I-" Karin stopped talking as Naruto disappeared. Huffing, she put her hands on her hips. "How am I supposed to thank him for rescuing me now?"

"You already thanked us." The clone pointed out, then wilted as she glared.

"Not that kind of thanks..." Karin turned away, blushing furiously.

* * *

Naruto returned as his clone popped- and scowled at the grass-ninja, who looked really surprised. His clone network kept him apprised of what was going on, but being surprised by a ninja as his clone went to the bathroom was just... Dumb. Side effect of a hive mind- sometimes bits of him got completely focused on something to the exclusion of everything else.

"Kukukuku..." The ninja chuckled under her breath. "A pleasant surprise- a fast genin. Still... Can't have you interfering." The ninja flicked through several hand-seals, and cast his Jutsu. "Ninja arts: Great Breakthrough."

A wall of wind slammed into Naruto, who just stood there, his telekinetic barrier easily shielding himself from the pressure wave.

The ninja's eyes widened as absolutely nothing happened.

"Yeah, that was breezy." Naruto took a step forward. "Try again, perhaps?"

The ninja stopped smiling, blurred through another seal sequence, and slammed her hands onto the ground. "Summoning Jutsu: Serpent."

The puff of smoke was so large that it caused the world to white-out for a moment, before it cleared to reveal a snake the size of one of the larger civilian homes curled up like a beehive. As it unfurled, Naruto pulled out a single kunai.

"Kill him." Ordered the grass ninja.

The snake looked at Naruto, and lunged. Then there was a titanic bang, and bits of the snake's head dripped over the tree it had been slammed against.

Naruto grinned. "Uzumaki secret art: Thunderbolt Iron."

The figure glared. "I don't have time for this." Then it made three handsigns, and vanished in a flurry of leaves as two columns of mud formed next to where she had been.

Naruto flicked a hand, and two more thundercracks shattered the night as he dispersed the mud in the clones. /Anko, I have found your old teacher./

Everyone felt the boiling rage that scythed through the bond as he said that. /Alright. Can you contain him?/

Naruto began running at Chunin speeds, rendezvousing toward where he could feel his teammates- and Orochimaru. Who was menacing his teammates.

And being excessively creepy.

"Holy crap my clone got tossed far." Naruto muttered under his breath as he slowed down in time to see Orochimaru slithering around a branch like some sort of snake.

Another thundercrack, and there was a hole less than a fit in front of the snake-ninja, who froze.

"You really like the snake theme, don't you Orochimaru." Naruto remarked casually as he extended the psi-constructs from his back in the form of chains, and swung himself into the small battlefield, suspended like some sort of alien spider.

The ninja scowled. "Not you againhurk..." She broke off, because there was suddenly a hole in her belly the size of a child's head, going through the branch and out the other side. Then the thunderclap was heard- but it happened so fast that her Jutsu didn't even break.

Naruto's hand was outstretched from his higher vantage point, and his eyes narrowed as he watched the ninja slump over the branch. "Oh, I know that didn't even knock you out. Come out and play little snake!"

The ninja's mouth opened, and another, fully-formed ninja appeared out of it. This one wasn't female however, and although was wearing the same sort of clothing, had a sound headband.

"You... Little... Asssssss!" Hissed Orochimaru. "You messed up my plan!"

"No shit." Naruto said calmly, as he pulled out two more iron kunai. "You are not even supposed to be here. This is a Chunin exam! You know..." Naruto explained as if to a dim student. "For genin only."

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed. "Really? Well then, consider this a test." He made a familiar cross-shaped handseal, and formed two shadow clones, each of which preformed a different Justsu.

"Fire Style: Fire Cyclone!"

"Wind Style: Wind Bullet!"

And the original made a very odd seal. "Lightning Style: Lightning Wave!"

Fire was bolstered by wind and then coated with the Lightning, forming a drill-like shape that promised obliteration to anything in their path. The people who they headed towards, being a bruised and battered Sakura and Sasuke, jumped out of the way of the sizzling column of fiery death.

Orochimaru refocused on Naruto- only to see him still standing in place, held aloft by his chains. "Kukuku... Aren't you going to help your friends?" Chuckled the snake Sanin. "Keep me from killing them?"

"You're not going to kill them."

The utter certainty of that statement was surprising to the infamous missing ninja. "What makes you say that?"

Sasuke, having seen that Naruto was keeping the ninja distracted (by talking, of all things!), threw out two kunai and a small windmill shuriken. All three guided with ninja wire were aimed perfectly, and managed to surprise the Sanin.

Thing is, in order to be granted that title you needed to have a certain level of proficiency. In the case of Orochimaru, he caught the windmill shuriken, dodged the others, and was about to throw it back before Sasuke completed his final jutsu.

The Fire Dragon's Web.

Lines of flame raced down the wires, lighting the branch, and the arm of the infamous missing-ninja.

Who laughed as he extinguished his arm.

"Because you were impressed by Sasuke just now." Naruto stated calmly.

"For a genin, you are very insightful..." Orochimaru chuckled, then scowled. "But I can't have you telling anyone about me."

Naruto rolled his eyes, and lowered himself onto a branch before dispelling his chains. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that."

* * *

Anko swore loudly as she saw the bodies. Their faces had been melted off, skin completely smooth like some creepy wax doll. "Orochimaru is here." She stated, letting the rage that had suffused her vent into her tone a little. "Tell the jounin- I want to find and kill him."

The other ninja who had found the three dead genin vanished in a burst of speed, chakra, and leaves.

* * *

"They know you're here already."

Orochimaru looked perplexed for a moment, before slapping his forehead. "The genin! I forgot about hiding their bodies."

Sakura took that as her cue to leave, running as far and as fast as she could to keep away from the frighteningly-powerful people- only to be intercepted by a Naruto.

"Hey Sakura, what's the rush?" The Naruto kept pace easily.

Sakura skidded along a tree trunk and stood on the side of a branch as she finally stopped. "N-Naruto! What are you- I mean..." She groaned. "Right. Shadow clones. Naruto, I can't face that... That monster."

There was a cry of pain, and then a series of thunderclaps back where she had come from.

Naruto looked somewhat smug. "You don't need to. He's gone."

He began tree-hopping back to the clearing where Sasuke was, and Sakura followed, somewhat warily.

She returned to see Naruto standing over a groaning, twitching, and somewhat convulsing Sasuke, holding a scroll open. Sakura heard/felt the shadow clone dispel as she approached, and Naruto turned to face her.

"Ah, Sakura! Welcome back." He moved the scroll so that she could see the complex and moving pattern forming within. "The snake-thing bit him, and left this seal on Sasuke's neck. What do you want me to do with it?"

"Remove -" Sakura paused, then thought for a while. "You can remove it?"

"I should be able to move it to something else with a chakra network, so... One of the animals in this forest." Naruto supplied.

"Can you alter it? Say, to be connected to a seal I control?" She prompted. "Maybe with controls for pain or some other sensations?"

"... Somewhat..." Naruto stared at her. "You want a slave?"

Sakura flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Slave is such a strong word- I prefer the term 'bitch'." She glared at the shivering Uchiha. "I spent years trying to impress him! That clan was known for being impressive, dangerous, and having a very potent bloodline- everything a civilian ninja could want!" If she had the power to do so, her glare would be setting the Uchiha on fire. "But even on his team- nothing. No positive reaction. Even after I stopped being such a fangirl."

"I hate to be the voice of reason, but imagine if the knowledge got out that you had a spoil. The council would make significant demands of you because you controlled that." Naruto poked Sasuke with a foot. "And imagine how the individual villagers would react because you enslaved their 'precious Uchiha'. What they did to me would pale in comparison to what they do to you."

Sakura glanced between Naruto and Sasuke, and bit her lip. Then she nodded. "Fine- but you will have to let me have one of the next ninja we fight that are not from an allied village as a spoil then. I have no advantages that I can use, and I need something."

"Alright." Naruto pulled another scroll from one of the sealing symbols on his back, and unrolled it. On the blank surface, which floated in midair as though it was on a table, he began to draw various symbol patterns with an unsealed brush. "I will prep a variant of the 'Evil Sealing Method' with my own twist- just in case he snaps." He tossed the brush into the air, spawned two shadow clones, and then unsealed two other brushes. "Should be done in a few seconds."

Sakura nodded, before pulling out a small scroll from her pocked. "Oh, and thanks again for this." She unfurled it, and channeled some chakra in a specific pattern into the scroll, unsealing a large tent and bedrolls.

One of Naruto's clones dropped down from the canopy, and bounced off the floating scroll, coming to land upside-down on the underside of a branch, sticking to it with chakra. "I call lookout!"

Sakura didn't even glance up. "Good."

* * *

The Oto genin hiding in the bushes looked at each other, and then quickly opened some distance between themselves and the insane Konoha team.

Kusa, the long-range specialist, was the first to break the silence. "Orochimaru wants us to kill them?"

Kin, the Genjutsu specialist, rubbed her nose. "Yes... And you saw that fight right? How Orochimaru was being /played with/ by the blond?"

Zaku, the close-range specialist, turned his head on one side as he looked at them. "That sounds like traitorous talk. We do not question orders."

"Look, Zaku- I am not questioning the orders." Kusa explained, his hands in the air, the holes in his palms pointing at the bandaged leader of the squad. "I am saying that fighting them directly is suicide, and we should be smarter than that."

Kin drummed a tattoo on her leg. "They have a lookout, and the blond has that thunderbolt attack. If his clones can do it too, then he can just make a few to pin us down while the real ones flank us."

"Fine." Zaku snapped. "How about this: Kin, you use your Jutsu to immobilize the blond's and his clone. Kusa, kill the blond and pink-head. Then we can test the Uchiha."

Kin sighed. "I still think this is a bad idea."

* * *

 **End Chapter 17**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please review, and tell me who you would like to see fight whom in the preliminaries.

(I honestly can't think of any match ups for some reason.)

Oh, and a little Omake that stuck in my head.

* * *

Short Omake: Spoiling the moment

* * *

Kin drummed a tattoo on her leg. "They have a lookout, and the blond has that thunderbolt attack. If his clones can do it too, then he can just make a few to pin us down while the real ones flank us."

"Or there could be a clone right above you, listening to every word you are saying."

They didn't even have time to look up before three supersonic kunai punched into their chests.

The Naruto-clone shrugged, and returned to his post.


End file.
